Homeschooling a Speech-Delayed Child with Dayna from Our Sweetie Birds' Home

It's different when it's your own child, because on one hand, I wanted to be like, okay, we're going to let you go at your own pace. On the other hand, once you did become that three, three and a half year old, I was like, okay, we're still not talking. We're not communicating. At this point, I started to dig a little deeper. I began researching speech delays and thinking about, okay, I know something's not right here. Welcome to Our Life Homeschooling. My name is Sherry, Christian, wife to my high school, sweetheart, Nelson, and thankful mom to 10 incredible kids. I'm the author of the blog and YouTube channel, Our Life Homeschooling, where I share homeschooling encouragement for everyday moms. I believe that motherhood is ministry and homeschooling is simply an extension of parenting. My passion is to cheer on other moms who are at home doing the most important work of all, raising the next generation for the glory of God. Welcome to the Our Life Homeschooling podcast. If you're a parent who has a child with a delay or another learning struggle, I want to encourage you with some advice and resources from Dana from the YouTube channel, Our Sweetie Bird's Home. We're going to be talking about homeschooling a speech delayed child. I'm more convinced than ever that you as the parent know your child better than anyone else. You're going to work harder than anyone else to find the resources that your child needs for their struggles and their gifts. Another huge benefit that we have as homeschool parents is that we have been there for all of their life. The continuity of care that we're able to provide through their formative years is what gives us the edge on our child's progress. We're there for all of their school studies and we're there outside of school. We're there for all of life. So we can be working with them on their struggles during the school day and outside of the school day. It can be a fluid part of life. We don't have to relearn our child every year. We can keep going. We can pick up where we left off. So this is such an advantage that we have as homeschool parents. If you have a child with special needs or with some kind of delay, I encourage you that you are equipped to find the best resources and to be an excellent teacher for your child. This interview with Dana is going to be so encouraging. So without further ado, let's jump in. Hi, Dana. Thank you for joining me. Hi. Thank you so much for having me. I cannot wait to chat to you. I'm so excited. Oh, yeah. I've been looking forward to this topic. This is something new that I haven't talked about on my channel, and I think this is something that's going to resonate with a lot of people. But before we get started, let's start with introductions. Sure. Introduce yourself and just tell everyone about your family, about your channel, where people can find you. Of course. My name is Dana. I am a homeschool mama here in the Midwest. My husband and I will be married 13 years this fall. We have a I have to get the ages straight because they're all having birthdays right now. We have a nine year old and eight year old, a five year old who's turning five tomorrow. So five year old and then a three year old. And we love our homeschooling. I love homemaking. We love thrifting. We travel together as a family for work. And so that's one of the greatest blessings in my life. And something I try not to take for granted is something unique is my husband and I get to work together. So really, our entire life is together. And so homeschooling is just one aspect of it. But I'm so thankful just for the homeschooling, the togetherness that has to continue to provide the flexibility and everything like that. When it comes to starting homeschooling, I'm a second generation homeschooler, so I have always known I wanted to homeschool. And I wasn't really like my other siblings who are very they had a very set goal in mind for what they wanted to be. And I always just wanted to be the homeschool mom. Like that was just always my dream. It was something I got has always been on my heart since I was like this tall, like this tall. And I do greatly contribute that to just my own personal homeschooling experience and how the Lord directed my parents into homeschooling because my mom has been my youngest brother just graduated, so she's 40 plus years into homeschooling. And so I really attribute my love and vision for our family to my parents and how they brought us up into homeschooling. So that's a little bit my background, but I just like my vision for it is really because of them and their legacy that they're leaving us. So that's kind of my background and history of coming into homeschooling. That is so great to hear. I've only run into a couple of second generation homeschoolers. Yeah, it's just so encouraging. It's nice to know that you loved the way the education that you had and it's something that you definitely want to transfer to your own kids. Yeah. So I just I love hearing stories like that from other moms and dads or just adults, young adults, even just some. We have a graduate and just hearing them talk about their homeschooling experience in a positive way is so encouraging. Oh, my goodness. It is. Yeah. And you also have a YouTube channel, right? Yeah. Sorry. I wasn't even thinking about that. I'm thinking like I'm still a mom brain here. Yeah. It's called Our Sweetie Bird's Home and I'm active on there and I'm semi active. Pretend to be active on Instagram and then that's it. I don't really have any. I do have a blog that I also pretend to be active on, but it's also the same. Our Sweetie Bird's Home. But that's that's where you can find me. Yeah. And I love watching your YouTube videos. Thank you. Peaceful and calm and encouraging. And we're in a little bit different. We're a couple of years ahead of you having teenagers and things. So that's why I love your videos. Oh, thanks. It looks a little different for us. But I just think if I was a young mom back where I was maybe like five or 10 years ago, I would have loved to see what homeschooling looks like in a family that is similar to ours with just some younger kids. And it's just very encouraging and inspiring to watch your videos. Thank you. I really appreciate that. Yeah, I really appreciate that. I love making them. Oh, great. They're fun. Well, we're going to talk about speech delays and how to homeschool with a speech delayed child. And I know for some parents, when they see anything that seems different in their kids, it just is intimidating to them. So I think that this is going to really encourage some parents to hear how you've handled this and just some practical tips for homeschooling your speech delayed child. I know this is going to be really encouraging. So just if you can just share with people, how did you feel when you first realized that your child had a speech delay? How did it affect you? And how did it you mentioned that you were a second generation homeschooler. This is what you always wanted to do. So did it change your views on homeschooling or did you have any fears about if you were going to be able to still do this? Sure. I feel like I could talk about this one question for a while. So when my I took me a while to realize that she did have a speech delay. And I think it's because I've always been a really good, like a big advocate for really letting the child grow at their own pace. So we're going to support them and meet them where they are. And all of those beautiful things that come with raising children and homeschooling. But she did get to be about two, two and a half. Her verbal skills were so really, really far behind as far as my own personal experience, because my older two, they were barely really good talkers around two. I felt like they were early talkers. They could carry on full conversations. And I was used to that. So when I had a two, two and a half year old who just could not like barely pronounce any words like she could do baby talk and baby gibberish. So she was not completely nonverbal, but her actual it just was not there. However, I did not feel worried or afraid only because my husband's family and my family, we have a history of speech delay. Little ones. It was kind of runs in the family. My dad had it. My husband and I together have a lot of nieces and nephews that have very big speech delays and impediments. And so it's not something that I was quick to be worried about because I knew what it looks like. However, it's different when it's your own child, because on one hand, I want it to be like, OK, we're going to let you go at your own pace. On the other hand, once she did become that three, three and a half year old, I was like, OK, we're still not talking. We're not communicating. At this point, I started to dig a little deeper. I began researching speech delays and thinking about, OK, I know something's not right here. Yes, I know it's a speech delay. And that's when I discovered actually here on YouTube, Laura Mizey. I think it's Laura Mizey. Yeah, she has a speech. She's a SLP here on YouTube. And I did her teach me to talk program. And that was such a huge, huge blessing in our home. This is when I started really instilling intentional habits with my little one. And this is when I started researching, OK, how do I intentionally help her? So that's kind of when I realized, OK, we have to do something as far as how it affected me. I feel like because I waited till she was three, three and a half, I felt like, OK, this is a full speech delay. And I felt bad because I should have started her back when I first like a year before. And I did feel like, OK, am I feeling her? Did I not do this soon enough? Am I setting her back even farther? And that is a little bit harder to contend with and to justify within our own hearts as mothers is like, are we doing enough? Are we being enough for her? And to feel guilty, however, on the flip side of how it affected me is this is the part I feel like it could I could talk about for a long time because I feel like this part of our journey really affected me greatly because I experienced the complete full circle of my prayer of asking God for grace and patience. And as a mom is, I can start every single day with praying like, Lord, please give me the patience and grace I need for today. I'm not going to ask for tomorrow. I'm going to ask for today. And he's given me a beautiful child to practice that way. And my mom always told me she's like, never pray for patience because you are going to be given. Even though she always paid for patience, she's like, you're going to you're going to be given so many different opportunities. God is going to just give you all the patient practice you need if you pray for patience. And so I remember just praying so much for patience and grace. And then God has given me this child that requires so much patience, so much of me extending grace and empathy and understanding, too. So how it has affected me is, yes, I do feel bad, but on the flip side, it's affected me greatly because God is refining me in this process as well. And that's where it's affecting me deeply is God. Sometimes he gives us these little things and I call it little because I know there's so many other special needs children that is far greater than speech delay. So I don't like calling it a huge thing, even though it can be challenging. But he's given me this thing and through this thing, he's refining me. So it's affecting me. But in a beautiful way, because then I can I can extend that grace and all that to her. And so that's just been amazing. But as far as I think about homeschooling now, I think I think quickly it would be I love it even more. But it's really made me realize how powerful learning at home can be and where if I were to take her to a speech therapist, 30 minutes once a week is not going to get me where I need her to be doing with her every day. And it's like walking her through it every single day. But that's kind of like the big picture of how it's affected me and really just, I don't know, being really thankful for homeschooling, being able to homeschool her. Yeah. And I completely relate. I wouldn't say we've had anything that's exactly similar with a speech delay, but we have had and I think the Lord does this for all believers and for all homeschool moms, there will be something that will be sanctifying, that will be a challenge. That's the word I was looking for. Yes. Yes. To run to the Lord. And and so when these difficulties come into our lives, I think I know sometimes my first reaction is to panic or to just get overwhelmed and not know what to do, to go back and forth from fear to, OK, I got to control this, whereas it's just an opportunity to bring it to the Lord and for him to refine us through the process. So I love that you were able to see it that way. Did you try any formal interventions or any therapies with your child? We did not, apart from that Teach Me to Talk program, because the lady that I discovered here on YouTube, she trained speech therapists and I just watched so many of her videos. I spent hours like wherever we were going somewhere, I'd be listening to her videos, trying to teach myself how to teach my little one. And so I felt like I was almost being trained to be a speech therapist. And I really wanted to be the one to be there for her and to be the one that taught her those things. And there's the other side of me that I wanted to be the one to do it because I'm also her comfort. And I didn't want her to be shut down with someone that maybe she was uncomfortable with. So I felt like I was, you know, the Lord gave me the right resources. And so, no, we didn't do anything formal yet anyway. We just did the Teach Me to Talk program, which is, again, a huge, a huge blessing. And honestly, doing it at home gave me the ability to fit it into everyday life so I don't have to separate the speech from just living, living life. So that was wonderful. Yeah. Oh, that's that's really neat. And I'll have to link that program for everyone. Yes, please do. Please do. It's incredible. It's incredible. The actual course itself is a little bit pricey, in my opinion. It's under a hundred dollars, so it is worth it, 100 percent worth it. But it's just it was a huge blessing to our home to be able to be equipped as the parent to do the job that we're called to do. So I loved it. It was a great, great program. Wow. That's really neat. And I can say, as someone who has a teaching background before I started homeschooling, I had a little bit of experience in a special ed classroom. And I went to some formal professional training. Yeah. Anyway, I have just that experience itself has totally convinced me that homeschooling is such a great option specifically for special needs kids. Yes. Yeah. I think the one thing that is missing is the continuation of care. Yes. I think there's so much to learn from speech therapists and not diminishing that at all. Correct. Yes. Special needs teachers from any of the training that they've had. Right. Yeah. But they are they're managing several students and your child's going to have different special needs teachers over time. Yeah. And so that teacher has to get this new I guess learn all about your child. And that's just yeah. I know you have to meet your child and the time it takes to catch up to really know where they are. There's such a short window of time that they have to take them further. Whereas you as the parent, you've had them since birth. You've known them. Like you said, she's your you're her comfort. So she feels comfortable with you. And so the progress is just so much faster. It is. You're able to look for the exact resources she needs because you know her. Yeah. It sounds like that's exactly what you guys you knew what the problem was. You knew your child and you found something that was going to help her. Yes. I just think homeschooling is especially good for children with special needs. I agree. The individual nature of it. You can completely cater everything to meet their needs. And I even remember being in a classroom. Some of my special needs kids had to leave for their for their work on some of the things they were struggling with. They had to leave the main class lesson. So they were missing material they needed to get this other material, which put them even further behind. So it was always, you know, a juggling act. Yeah, it's so true. I just I think it's a really great option for children. I do, too. Are having difficulty with whether it be speech delay or whatever. And so parents shouldn't be intimidated. No, not at all. Finding the resources yourself and homeschooling them. Yes, I agree. Yeah, I agree. And then how do you naturally work on speech after watching this program? How do you naturally work with your child on a typical day? This is one of my favorite parts about doing speech therapy at home is because I never really first of all, I never really told my daughter, OK, it's time to work on speech or it's OK, it's time to do therapy or it's time to do speech games. I just naturally am able to integrate it into our day. So where she doesn't feel like, oh, what do I need this special thing for? So my goal is to make everything be like accessible for her to help her. But without her feeling like this is a special class, I don't want her to feel like this is a boring school lesson. But also it's it's also one of those things where a speech therapy session is. This is a big thing that I actually did get wrong when I first started doing intentional therapy with her at home is I did have a set aside time like, OK, we're going to work on your speech therapy games and your activities. But what I noticed is she would work really hard and we would do really, really well during that window of like that 20 minute time. But then she didn't think she had to practice or do anything outside of that. So that's the thing with speech therapy sessions is once they're out of the session, they're like, OK, I'm done. I don't have to process or I don't have to speak words this way because we're done like therapy is over. But when I took that away and I started interweaving it into everyday aspects, it just completely changed her, the speed that she was growing in her ability. And so what that looks like for us very practically is when she would ask for something. Well, the previous version of myself would have been like if she asked for a spoon instead of saying spoon, she would have said oon like O-O-N left out this part. I would have just gone to get it because I knew what she meant, even though she didn't say it correctly. I would like, oh, you want a spoon? I'm going to go get you a spoon. Here you go. Where the intentionality is, OK, you want an oon and she went in a little one's mind. A huge part with speech delay little ones is that you need to really imitate back to them, not what we're saying, but what they're saying. When first you would ask for a oon, I would say, oh, you want an oon? And it caused her to stop and think like, wait a minute, that's not what I'm saying. Like I want a oon and she still couldn't pronounce it. So I was like, OK, why don't you take me by the hand and you show me what you want, like what you need. And so she would take me to the silverware drawer and I'm like, oh, you want a spoon? And she's like, oh, yeah, it's a spoon. And so you're it takes it takes time and patience. This is where the sanctifying thing comes in when you're doing this, because it does require a lot more time to work with this. But instead of just grabbing what they want, you are going to intentionally work with them, even if it takes 30 seconds to a minute to get this one thing to do that. But you're doing that with everything. And it can take a long time and sometimes it can be frustrating. But you also have to do the work and intentionality of it. But it's it's been beautiful because she's absorbed the information effortlessly. It's not something that's forced because we're just integrating those little things. And with imitation, I've learned just the power of it's not just mommy saying, OK, can you say ball? And then she's saying, OK, let's say ball. It's like truly the power of repeating what they're saying back to them was a huge game changer for us was imitation, just because sometimes their little brains don't know that what they're saying is not what is heard. And so being able to imitate back to them what they're saying has just been a huge thing. So kind of that's a long way to say, but like flowing that into our day to day routine has been a huge game changer. And she is at the point now she just turned five and she's able to fully communicate. And she does still have a little bit of an impediment, but she's still night and day difference. Even from last year, it's been a huge, huge difference, a huge difference. And homeschooling really has given us that gift of time to able to do that. It's given me the gift of being able to be intentional without the rushing. And I can stop in the middle of a homeschool lesson if I need to and encourage her to repeat something if I need to. And it's just built into every aspect of life. So I'm not separating speech therapy and life. It's kind of like all we've together. But when I started doing it that way, that's when we noticed the most as far as how we integrate that into our home. It makes a lot of sense. And I think, too, that's where as a homeschooling parent, you can do that. It's not a separate thing. It's just part of everything. And that gives you a huge advantage. Yes. And I love how you just explain that. I mean, if I was a parent that was struggling or had a child that was struggling with that, that would make so much sense. Just the simple way you broke it down on repeating what they say. And then when they go get the spoon, then actually saying it the correct way. Yes. It's small, but it really makes sense. It's so impactful. It was definitely impactful. Have you had any breakthrough moments that just encouraged you that all your hard work was paying off? When she said, I love you. When she had the whole sentence. You don't realize it's such a simple sentence. And it's such a powerful thing. And when you're little ones, it's always special the first time you hear your little ones repeat it back to you. But it's something totally different when you're speech delayed. Little ones who couldn't communicate can communicate that. And so the look that she gives when she can communicate exactly what she needs now. And we're still working on some things and in the process of figuring things out because there's other imbalances as well, apart from speech, that we're kind of putting pieces together and working on. And I hope I can share that soon as soon as we figure all that out. But it's just been a beautiful moment, a full circle moment of realizing consistency matters, even if it takes a year to get her to fully communicate clearly. It's definitely, definitely worth it. But the breakthrough moment of hearing I love you, just precious. And it was really around her four, four and a half. And she's almost five or is five. But around that four, four and a half year old mark, she started to grow in between four and a half and five. So the last six months here had just been huge as far as her growth. But that's been definitely been the biggest thing so far. Yeah, that would be so meaningful. Those three words. I know it's so special from someone that is has difficulty expressing herself. Just hearing that. Yes. And it became and I think the big breakthrough as well is with speech delayed little ones. I think what I'm learning now anyway, is that emotions can be very, very high with them and they get frustrated too. Like we're not the only one struggling. We're not the only one struggling to understand they're struggling because they can't communicate with you. And that's sad to see, too, is when they can't. And even now, if she gets really emotional about something and she can't communicate something, it's OK. Like, I'm right here. Take your time. And she's able to communicate it. But she's also still getting used to like, oh, I can actually speak words. I don't need to whine all the time because I have words now. But she's also still getting used to that because for the first three, three and a half, a lot of it was whining. A lot of it was emotional. A lot of it was like, I'm just so frustrated, mommy, because I can't tell you what I think and feel. And so the big breakthrough was while she was able to communicate fully, she's like, OK, I can release some of the emotions. I don't have to ask you what I need in this tone of voice because I know I can tell you. And so that's been that's been huge, honestly, is the emotional aspect is realizing that these little ones are frustrated, too, and hence why they need all the grace and patience from us, which can be hard. Yeah, I can see how that would just require a lot of patience on both parts. Because like you said, these things happen in the middle of the day when you're doing things that just have to be done, have to be done by a certain time, trying to make lunch, trying to clean up, trying to get out the door. So it's sometimes you don't always feel like you can stop. Just that consistency. I've seen that just overall. That's just also just a life principle to consistently sticking with something and slow, however slow the progress is. It just pays off, especially with little children. It does. When they get repeated responses, that is just so effective over time. Yeah, it's so true. So, so true. So can you give some encouragement to a mom who right now has a child with a speech delay? What would you say to them? Oh, I would start off by saying definitely don't underestimate what you can do as a mom. You don't have to listen to what everyone says and you don't have to be a professional to make a real difference in your child's life. And this is something that I had to contend with as well, because the couple of times that we did get like either a doctor's visit because we were sick and they said something about speech. They'd be like, well, she might need a speech therapist. I was like, but if you're willing to learn and practice right alongside your child, that's really going to be what makes all the difference is us as the mothers. Are we willing to put in the work? Are we willing? It is a sacrifice for one because we are the ones doing the work and realizing that that makes all the difference. And I will I talk a lot about my parents and their upbringing and how that affected my homeschooling life perception of it. But I also learned a lot of how to research as a mom for my mom because she had to do that a lot. Like she had to advocate for some of my younger siblings a lot. My sister was severely dyslexic. And so having her do different strategies and things like that in our home and not listening to what everyone says would be your professional opinion and realizing that you as a mom know more about your child. You just do you cannot go and get assessed by someone for 20 minutes and expect them to have this entire lifelong picture that, you know, but learning how to research. And also like there are some like when you do need to see professional help, there's also that wisdom as well. But honestly, just learning how to research is a huge thing. And teach yourself. And that's something that you can do as well. And I would also say start really small. This is something I had to learn is I wanted to jump into this program and I wanted to see results the next day. And with speech delay, that's not the way it works. Hence why you need more patience and grace. I always go back to that. But just do it a little a little bit each day, even if you start integrating just five or 10 minutes intentionally. And I would say the last bit of encouragement was that we were chosen to be our child's mother and that God equips us exactly for what we need and for the work that we need to do to raise his children up. All right. Well, Dana, thank you so much for joining me. This has been such a helpful conversation and I know it's going to encourage a lot of people. So thanks so much. Thank you so much for having me. I appreciate it. Well, thank you so much for joining us. I'm reminded once again that we as homeschool moms are so well equipped to give our kids best resources and the best care. I hope you were encouraged by this conversation. If you're looking for more resources, head on over to the blog, ourlifehomeschooling.com. I have tons of free copywork, book lists. I have interviews with everyday homeschool moms and some of them are with moms that have kids with different learning struggles. So they have some of their favorite books on there that they've found for dyslexia or other learning struggles. So head on over there if that's something you'd like more information about. Thanks for listening. I'll see you next week on the Our Life Homeschooling podcast.