Cheaters, Walk-Outs And Dating Disasters! The Worst First Dates! | First Dates USA

Well, I'm going to leave. Oh, you're leaving? You're not even going to eat? I'm not even going to eat. What? I know. It's just so weird. OK. No, I think you're a really nice, great person. I just feel like we're not a love match. Right. No, no, no. Again, I totally feel you. But, like, I do think it's kind of weird that you can't even, like, enjoy a nice meal. Next up is Omid, a big-time finance guy who's never been able to close the deal on marriage. You know, divesting a company that's probably worth a billion, but we sold it for, you know, 1.2. So stuff like that, it gets me excited. Howdy. Welcome. How are you? Good. I love your suit. Thank you. Is it Italian? Of course. I think historically I've been single because the last 14 years I've been focused on my career. Dating is tough, especially meeting people. And I travel a lot. How's your day going? It is going very good. How about yourself? Really good. I think my worst first date was this person just left. She's like, I didn't understand your jokes. I didn't like your jokes. You sent me a text message. I was like, all right, you can have said bye. It's not a big deal. Omid's date is Candice, a high-powered fashion executive who's learned that in both dating and business, sometimes you have to make choices that aren't pretty. It is fun. It's just a lot of hard work, because sometimes you're not the nice person and you're the person that has to fire people or, like, have a tough conversation. I'm meeting someone. You are in the right place. I've spent all of my life to do everything for my career, and now it's time to start putting time in myself and meeting someone. I'm looking for someone that is successful and, of course, attractive, but someone that's very, like, strong-minded who won't let me, like, walk all over them or bulldoze them, because I have been known to do that because I'm the boss every day at work. Let me introduce you to the date. All right. How you doing, Omid? Hello. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you. What's going on? Nothing. How are you? Just living the dream. So... What do you do? I do finance and accounting. What about yourself? I work for a designer, and I oversee all the Midwest stores, so fashion's a big part of my life. How am I doing? You're okay. Where are you from originally? Kentucky. Oh, wow. Mm-hmm. So how old are you? If you don't mind me asking. Old enough. Okay. Crispy southern fried chicken with biscuits and potato puree. That's straight from Kentucky right there. You don't like that? Interesting. Do you ever do family style when you go out? No. Just like your own food? You have brothers and sisters? No. No brothers? No, that's okay. Do you have brothers and sisters? I do. I have an older brother. People, I think, from seeing me, they think that I'm not a nice person, or they think that I'm stuck up, but I'm not. So do you travel much? Every Tuesday through Thursday. That's why I hate traveling. Sometimes I get scared to show emotion because I just don't want to be vulnerable, and I'm used to being this strong person, so I just get scared to be vulnerable and get my feelings hurt because I don't like going through the pain. Do you like sports? If I were to choose from watching sports on TV and going to watch a brand-new movie that just came out, I'm going to watch a movie. Unless I'm betting on it, then I'll probably watch it. And you're like, I love watching every game, right? I gotta, like, get you into traveling. Never, I hate it. You'll do it. And I think that when I do date people sometimes, I think I almost set it up to fail sometimes, so it's definitely something I have to work on. I love my animals, and I want to be home with them. That's why I don't have an animal, because I travel so much. But in the future, like, I definitely want to own a tiger. You cannot own a tiger. That's illegal. Depends on which state you're in. You can't own a tiger. What? I'll have to research it. They're an endangered species. Lions? Endangered species. We'll figure it out. I have two weeks of vacation a year. One week I travel. Yeah. My second week is a staycation. What's the favorite place you've ever been? Vegas. I'm going to Vegas tomorrow. I don't think I'll like it. This is your first time? Mm-hmm. It's like a very congested space of, like, sweaty people. Yeah. Like, waiting for lines or something. Yeah. Humid. Mm-hmm. Insane. All right, so what have you guys decided on for tonight? I would like the salmon. Great choice. And where's the restroom? It's right down the front of here. I'll help you get there. Okay. I'm going to do the chicken. Okay. I'll be back. Hello. Hi. I hate him. Hey, what's up, man? So I don't know if it's going well, but, I mean, it's going. I think she's probably, like, my age, which, like, I look a lot younger than my age. It's kind of like I'm talking, like, a shell of a person. When a date's not going well, I can usually sense it. But I still, you know, have a really positive attitude. I have a really good time. To me, there's no real bad date, because I'll have a good date no matter what. Whether she does or not, that's her problem. He keeps talking about how he loves to gamble, and I'm like, oh, do you like sports? And he was like, no, not really. And that's my number one thing. And then he totally asked me how old I was. Like, who does that? That's super rude, right? So he's, like, the worst. How did I get the worst date ever? Howdy. Let's have a really awkward conversation. Like what? Like about your eyes? No. Like you have the prettiest eyes ever? Thank you. That's so nice. I'm running out of time. I'm running out of time to get married. I'm running out of time to get to have children. You know, I am 34. I am the only one in my circle of friends that's not married with kids. What's the awkward conversation? I just feel like that we maybe are not a great match. Why do you feel that way? I just feel like we have really different interests. Like I like traveling and eating. And I don't like traveling, and I love sports. Women, as they get older, don't look as great. And men, when they age, they get to be more attractive with the salt and pepper hair and a little bit of scruff. So I do feel like the time is now. Like the clock is definitely ticking. I love animals. You don't love animals. Oh, I love animals. I just don't own them because I travel so much. Right. Yeah. So. Well, I'm going to leave. Oh, you're leaving? You're not even going to eat? I'm not even going to eat. What? I know. It's just so weird. Okay. No, I think you're a really nice, great person. I just feel like we're not a love match. Right. No, no, no. Again, I totally feel you. But I do think it's kind of weird that you can't even enjoy a nice meal for what it's worth. I know. I just feel like it's almost an uncomfortable situation for me because I don't know what to say. Yeah. Right? For you. For you, too. I'm fine. Well, I feel really strange. Sorry. All right. I'm going to leave. Are you going to get a to-go box? No. I'm just going to leave. All right. Cool. Thank you. Yeah. Have a good night. The plate should be out in just a minute. I just checked on it. She's good. Okay. She left. She's gone? Yeah. Like she left the date? Can you actually put the salmon in a to-go box? I'm going to take it from my buddy. Of course. Yeah. Of course. We'll box it up for you. My buddy loves salmon. In general, I think I enjoyed the date for what it was. I'm the type of person that I'll take a step back and I'll accept the environment that I'm in and I'll find the great things that are in that environment and I'll be very optimistic about it because I literally live by the premise that every single day is a new best day in my life and there's nothing that can happen that can bring that down. Nothing. Snapchat. Okay. I'm nervous. Meet Jennifer, an entrepreneur who's been incredibly successful in business but not so much in love. So my friends call me the one-date wonder. I have been on a lot of first dates. Not very many second dates. Please follow me. You know that saying, I feel like I kissed a lot of frogs? I feel like I kissed a lot of turds. And I'm ready to find love. This is my date. I'm sure they will be here momentarily. They better be. Jen's date is Michael. I do imitations, yeah. Arnold Schwarzenegger. I'm here on first dates looking for a beautiful woman that I can fall in love with but if it doesn't work out, we can always train together. He's an IT specialist who's looking for a strong woman who doesn't play games. How are you? Good, how are you? Confident women do not intimidate me. I prefer it actually. I like a woman with a good head on her shoulders. I don't really have a specific type. It's really about chemistry and energy. I do want to have a family. I do want to get married. But I have prided myself in the past on not doing it too soon or for the wrong reasons. Excuse me. Let me introduce your date. Hi. Hello. How are you? Michael. Nice to meet you. Jennifer. Nice to meet you. Pleasure. How do you feel? You look very nice. You're beautiful by the way. Thank you. That's very nice. Being here is a huge step for me because I don't know that I can actually put my happiness first. Table is ready. Okay. Fantastic. I need to get you seated. Okay. I think this may be the first weekday that I actually didn't respond to one email since 2007. So what do you do? I work in technology. You could pass for like a trainer at a gym, you know. Thank you. I think that is a compliment. It is. It is a compliment. You're in fantastic shape too. So you obviously take care of yourself. So what are you looking for, Jen? Just someone, you know, to like spend time with, for example. I had to buy all this furniture recently. So I buy it and then I have to carry it up the stairs myself. So you're looking for a mover. Is that what... I just bought a king bed. Like I didn't know. I've always had a queen bed. But like it's so humongous. You need somebody else in it. That's it. I know, but you could fit like five people in it, you know. Yeah. But I said it's going well. Yeah. You're a nice guy. You think so? Don't judge a book. I think so. Looks can be deceiving. I'm just saying. I'm only kidding. You're not a nice guy. No, I'm terrible. Awful human being. My biggest concern, I would say, with most people is like if they're actually married. Yeah. Which I'm going to say you're not. No kids, no baggage, quote unquote. I mean, I guess everyone has, you know, but no. Everybody has something. As rain falls over Chicago and the evening winds down, both Jennifer and Michael still seem unsure about where their date is going. Hi. You on a date? Yeah. He's a really nice guy and he seems like really like he's got his s*** together. Right. But I don't know. I have been lied to many times. I have gone out with two men that I found out later were married. One of them who told me that he, his wife, left him and when I confronted him, he said, well, she could have done it. Welcome back. I think that all men are suspicious until they prove otherwise. You were texting when I like went back to the table. Well, I had to keep myself busy somehow. And most of them prove that they are suspicious. So when was your last relationship? Like when did it end? It ended about six months ago. Six to eight months. Four months? No, like about six months probably. Okay. It really does suck when you're dating and you're trying to find somebody and you're putting yourself out there and you're telling people, you know, that you're serious. They're going along with it even though they're not necessarily on the same path as you. Thanks a lot. Nice meeting you. Have a great night. You too. Thank you. I don't feel like I know any more about him than I did like the moment he walked in. I don't really feel like I got to know him at all. Ready? When a guy's texting when I'm on a date with him, that automatically like raises a flag that I don't know if they're like planning their next date. Who were you texting? It was my cousin. Really? What were you saying to your husband? Nothing. He was just checking on me and he was asking me what I was up to and seeing what I was doing. Oh. Um, so. I think he's suspicious. Were you texting your cousin? Yeah, I was. You're suspicious of him. No. Really? A little. Really? Were you talking to somebody before the date? Uh. Who were you talking to on the phone before you started the date? Are you guys kidding me right now? I'm asking you a question. Were you talking to somebody before the date? Uh. No. It was my date. Let me go take care of this. I'm going to be in this presentation for a while and then after this, I don't know, I might go have dinner and then I'm going straight back to the hotel, packing, and I can't wait to come home. I can't wait to be done. They want to be here. They'll be home early, so. But we'll talk later. I'll call you. Text me if you need me. Alright, baby. Who were you talking to on the phone before you started the date? I'm. Are you guys kidding me right now? I'm asking you a question. Yeah, I understand that. But. It's. You know. It could be anybody. It's neither here nor there. What are you guys, you know. I'm just asking the question because. Can we pause this for a second? Because it's making me uncomfortable and I wasn't, you know, expecting all this, so. Can we stop this for a second? I just want to. Because I'm going to have to walk out then. I don't want you to walk out. I'd rather. You don't want to be honest. We should. I want to either move on and have this just be about our date, you know. And it has nothing to do with being honest. I just feel like. I'm a very private kind of person. And that's why I want to give you the opportunity to be honest. I'm not married and I'm not tied down and that's it. You know. I think maybe some things got misconstrued. But I would like to call you though. I can't call you. No. Have a good night. Good night. Oh my God. I can't believe this. I mean, obviously, I think there are good guys out there. Hello. So, I'm not going to quit. What is your dating life like? My dating life. You're a funny guy. Here's my dating life. If I want a new date. It sucks. Come on, God. Be good to me. I'll go to church every Sunday. I promise. What are you looking for? Somebody who can tune in and we can get together and have a good conversation. Have some laughs and a good meal. Take it from there and see what happens. Hi. Hello there. And you are? I'm Marci. As of right this minute, I am down 110 pounds. I applaud myself. It's been a big deal. Let me make the introductions. Thank you. Marci is a single mom who's never been in a serious relationship. As a matter of fact, I've never had a man look me in the eyes and say, I love you. Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Mark. I'm Marci. Hi. Nice to meet you. How are you doing? Good to see you. Thank you. The man that says, I love you, that's the right one for me. And you're Marci? Is that M-A-R-C? M-A-R-C-Y. It's like my name with a Y on it. Oh, my God. I'm M-A-R-C. That's it. It's meant to be. Right. You got kids? I have a grown daughter. Awesome. One grown daughter. She's 26. I got three. Really? Yep. It's the way it goes, you know. All right. Next month, I'll be 59. Is that bad? No. I generally date men younger than that, but I'm surprised 59 with young kids. I had a do-over. We only married once. Never married, never lived with a man. And how about yourself? You've been married more than once? Yep. How many times? Three. Really? I wonder when someone's married three times. Like, you have to wonder, what's that all about? I do, too. I mean, I'll tell you, I'll be just brutally honest. I wouldn't, you know, had we not been set up this way, I would not date somebody that's been married three times ordinarily. Do you want to end the date here? Do you want to go home? No, I mean, no. I mean, we're talking, we're getting to know each other, and I'm certainly going to, you know, give the date a chance. Okay. It has crossed my mind many times to say, what's wrong with me? Why have I not been lovable? I had one guy call me back. He said, I don't want to go out with you again, so I want to start off by telling you that. He said, but I would be remiss if I didn't tell you why. He said, you told me too much. So it's that fine line between I always want to be who I am, but maybe who I am just wasn't right for that man. I tell you, the first time I went on a date on the Internet, you know, the girl I started talking with, all her pictures were like from overhead, or she was tucked under a table and stuff. So we meet for the date, and I don't know nothing about fashion, but if you're asking the size of two NBA basketballs, don't wear white stretchy pants, you know. I mean, it was like, whoa, you know, so you don't know what you're getting on the Internet. So you would never date, like, a heavier woman necessarily? Well, I'm kind of a fitness guy, you know, I stay in shape. I used to be a lot heavier. I've lost 115 pounds, so when you say that, it makes me now feel a little uncomfortable about what you would say about what is under here. Maybe I'm a little sensitive about when people talk about someone's weight and their outdoor weight. Did you hear some of the things you said about me, or no? Do you think that was nice? You put me off pretty good too. I said a couple of things that were just factual. Anyway, let me go, uh, let me go to the restroom. Are you going to come back, or...? All right, excuse me. Thank you. All right, how's it going? Not too good. Not too good? Hi. Oh my goodness, he's worse than the guy who brought me turkey soup in a cottage cheese container. We'll get some entrees going, you know, get some food going, maybe a couple of drinks. I don't know if we're going to make it that long. All right, well, just let me know. We'll play it by ear. Oh, Shelly, everything's wrong. I don't even think I want to stay and have dinner or anything. Listen, I apologize, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any harm. I don't even know you, I had no way of knowing any of that, but I didn't mean, I didn't mean it that way. That's okay, and maybe I was a little edgy too. I appreciate that you apologized. From the heart of hearts, I really want you to know that's a fantastic transition, you should be proud of that. Thank you. That's really good. I genuinely accept that apology, I genuinely do. All right. Well, we've both already made each other super uncomfortable, so we can just move on from this point. Sometimes that first date, there's so much pressure built up that maybe I didn't quite act myself or they didn't quite act themselves, you can tell that maybe there might be more there. I'm kind of more of a, I'll give someone a second date chance. I'm hungry, let's have something to eat, right? Okay, tell me more about your family. Your 3 children, are they from this last marriage? I got one with the second marriage, then I had like a third one, I had 2 with her. But I'm definitely a package deal, I'm a dad first. With all I've been through as far as my romantic life, I mean, I'm lucky I have a head left. I still remain positive, hopeful, and open-minded that there's a girl out there for me. I still think there is, I really do in my heart, I really believe it. I was cheated on twice. It is what it is. They just didn't want to be married to me, I guess, anymore. The second one, one afternoon, I took her car to get looked at and I'm reaching in her console to try to find some change. I pull this greeting card out, and it's some guy, and it's to her, and he's like saying all this lovey-dovey stuff, like oh, our hearts beat as one and all this kind of stuff. Well, I went nuts, you know. She's like oh, it doesn't mean what you think it means. Pretty much means what you think it means, almost always. You're right, but at this point in the game, we're all friends, it's all good, all that stuff is gone. Well, that's good, I'm glad you're amicable. We're good. Moment of truth. Would you like to go on a second date? No, thank you. I would. I would be leading you on if I said I would. You're a nice person. Go ahead, lead me on. No, you're a nice person. I think you're quite a gentleman, and I really, really respect it, and I learned from you tonight when you apologized, and I learned that I also was probably a little too quick to get sensitive or judge you. I learned from you too. I hope you get everything you want, I really do. I really wish you the best of everything. I appreciate that. Did you have a good time? I did, I had a nice time, and it was nice meeting you. I actually learned things about myself. Good night. Okay, see you, Mark. Maybe the next time, I'll keep my big yap shut. If I could just meet somebody that could just be my friend for a while and see if we got something. It's time for me, it's my time, it's time to have me. I hate beards. Really, you hate my beard? I just hate beards, period. I have the biggest beard in the house. You definitely do, like an old tree man. Okay. Like, okay, come here, come close. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm drunk. Okay, if it was like this, I wouldn't even care. Maybe no mustache or trimmed mustache. What's up, guys? Beard's back for another date. Woody is back and hungry for another chance at love after an unsuccessful first date, he's hoping the second time's the charm. Normally I'm a little bit more fit than this, but I had surgery and I can't. What'd you have surgery on? I was so curious about those things. What would our second date be? How do you feel about mud? Weird, like a mud bath? Will you go camping for a weekend and not take a shower? No, I don't, no. You're back. I'm back, you know? My first date, it was good, like, we had a good time. Like, you're shook. Hey, hey, that's a little bit nice of the stuff, but she told me that she had Botox, and that she had collagen, and that she had fake boobies, and that's all well and good, but, like, I'm looking for someone who is just comfortable with themselves. A Southern girl fresh from teaching abroad, Sarah is ready to meet a man she can unpack with permanently. I want a good old American boy. And you are? Sarah. Hey, Sarah. I am oftentimes the girl who approaches men in the bar. Please follow me. I usually end up getting what I go after. Hello. Hi. How are you doing? Good. I'm Woody. I'm Sarah. Nice to meet you, Sarah. Very nice to meet you. Yeah, you want to have a seat, grab a drink? I would love to have a seat. Excellent. What are you drinking? That would be a Woodford and Ginger. What do you like to drink? Like, I'm going to go with the French 75. Good. Yeah. Wow. Sarah. Sarah Lynn. Sarah Lynn, that's pretty Southern. Where are you from? I currently live in Nashville, but I'm from Maryland. Yeah? I'm in Nashville by way of West Virginia. Okay. Yeah. All right. Sliding all over this chair right now. Hold on. I'm going to, like, stand up and adjust myself. Somewhat unladylike way. That's all right. Okay. All right. Okay. Are we good? We're good? We're in one piece? One piece. Okay. I'll go back in that. Okay. All right. There we go. Cheers. Cheers to Nashville. Yeah. To Nashville. After returning to the First Dates restaurant for a second chance at love... All right. ...Woody is hoping Sarah is a better fit. All right. You're probably, like, 5'6". I'm 5'10". 5'10"? Really? I'm six foot on the dot, and I've got, like, two inches with my boots. Hold on. Back to back. Yeah, back to... Here, we're going to stand up. We're going to do this. Back to back. You just touched my butt. You're definitely... There's some head there. Yeah. So, I mean... You're in heels. I'm in heels. May in heels. That's important. And it's, like... It's even. Finding a man is kind of like going to, like, a dog shelter. They're all, like, such puppies, you know? And they're so endearing and cute. But then some of them, like, you bring them home, and they'll, like, pee all over your house. I believe you have a little bit of lipstick on the tip of your nose. Thank you. I appreciate that. You kind of got it, but... Okay. It's gone. Is it gone? Yeah, it's gone. Everywhere else is immaculate. No, you're put together. You got it... Like a China doll? China dolls are too delicate. You're not a China doll. That's true. Yeah. So, I had been living overseas for, like, the past few years. Okay. Wow. Australia. I have this, like, thirst for the travel. I traveled a lot. Like, I saw so much of Southeast Asia. That's awesome. I'm, like, a very adventurous eater. I will try pretty much anything. And if someone gets, like, cheese pizza or chicken tenders, I'll be like, ugh, God, come on now. Okay, so here's a really super strange question for you. Absolutely. Would you ever try human meat? Absolutely. I wouldn't kill someone. I'm not saying I would. I would go out and eat, like, a ton of it. But if someone was like, you want to taste what a person tastes like? I'll go, absolutely. Let me taste this. Oh, my God. Yes. Okay. Some exotic, like, restaurant in, like, Laos. And they're like, would you like human? And I was like, yeah. You kill it out back. What's it doing? And then there we go. Like, give me a piece of that. How would you like that prepared? Rare. I feel like that's a good sign because most people would probably, like, run out the door at this point. Absolutely. Not the conversation we should be having on a first date. As their date ends, Woody and Sarah make some surprising confessions. This is the second date I've taken to this restaurant. Get out. Everything I wanted out of the first one, you gave me out of the second one. Seriously. I mean, you're great. You're totally great. But. No, tell me. Seriously, tell me the but. I hate beards. Really? You hate my beard? I just hate beards, period. I have the biggest beard in the house. You definitely do. Like an old tree man. Okay. Like, okay. Come here. Come close. I'm drunk. Okay, if it was like this, I wouldn't even care. Maybe no mustache. Or trimmed mustache. Hey. Hello. How are you doing? Good. How are you? I'm doing great. Straight up, I'll tell you. You are a natural woman. You guys best together again? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. I'll see you again. Absolutely. Can we shave your beard? Not a chance. But let's, I guess this is it. This is the end of it. Take your card. Well, thank you for paying for dinner. Not a problem. Bye bye, guys. Thank you. Peace out. No, come on. You have to give me more than that if you want to stay. You don't like that, girls? It's a beard. It's a beard? There's nothing we can do. There you go, guys. Whenever you're ready. Thank you. Absolutely. Cool. Do you want to split it? No. Are you sure? Yeah. I'm trying to think of the last time I had my card. Somebody's got to have my card. Blind dates intimidate me. They are tough. They are mental gymnastics. You're thinking of something to say. Sometimes I rely a little too much on, you know, I'll do it if I can have a couple beers before I go do it, you know. Where are you? Oh, I'm just going to start a tab for you, and I'll transfer it to your table. Very cool. Are you more of a relationship guy, or? I've never been, but I don't know if I've liked what I've ever been, you know what I mean? Right. So maybe it's time for a change. Okay. This dress was a bad choice. Dylan's date is Yvonne. Hi. A 28-year-old financial analyst who hopes tonight will give her a chance to start over. Hello, hi, welcome. Hi, how are you? Fantastic. I'm looking for a kind, intelligent, funny guy that likes dogs and music and traveling. Come, let me introduce you. Thank you. I just am not attracted to people that take things too seriously, and, like, there's no reason to take, like, yourself or life, like, too seriously. Please, let me see you, too. All right. This is your date. Hi. Yvonne, nice to meet you. Dylan. Are you serious? My name is Dylan. Nice to meet you. How long have you been here? Oh, like 20 minutes. Sorry. No worries. I haven't been on a first date since I broke up with my ex-boyfriend, like, months ago. How old are you? 27. How old are you? You're younger than me, 28. 28. I'm still young and naive. Have you always been this beautiful? I have this automatic presumption that guys aren't trustworthy, and then they have to prove it to me to kind of build that trust. When I was in middle school, I was really gangly and, like, awkward stage, for sure, and I had racism. Being the weirdo, I guess, like, when I was way younger, I think it's definitely helped me with hopefully building personality instead of just being like, you know? I didn't, like, grow until senior year of high school. Actually, middle school was mean, wasn't it? Yeah, middle school was not a nice time. I agree. When I was younger, I was super small for a long time, so I didn't hit puberty until way late. Being a late bloomer kind of feels like being left behind, to be honest with you. Thank you. All right. That late bloomer still inside me. You're, like, model hot, if you don't mind me saying that. I don't take compliments well, but thank you. I heard this steak is good, but then it just says steak and crab for two. It's just stew. Do you use, like, Tinder and stuff? Have you asked me if I've ever been on it? Yeah. Have I ever used it? Yeah. Have you ever used it? No. Why? Dirty lie. My major in college was criminology and criminal justice, and so I automatically think people are serial killers. I guess that's why I'm single for, like, long periods of time, in between relationships. My last relationship was five months ago. When you can't trust a guy, it's probably one of the worst feelings ever, like, when you're in a relationship where you're being lied to. It's a nauseating, like, aching feeling. It's horrible. I went on it. It was, like, more like people-watching. You know what I mean? Like, I would go on it, and my roommates would be like, look at this girl, like, she's nuts. That's horrible. It's not good. Knowing how that you've never met up with someone, and you just did it for shits and giggles? No, I never, ever met up with anyone. I don't believe you. You guys doing good on drinks? Been around? Can I have another mascot meal, please? Give me a mascot meal. Two meals? They're going to die. Love it. Dates are kind of weird, right? They're horrible. But they can be fun. Yeah. Right now we're having a little bit of fun. Have you ever slept with a guy on the first date? No. Have you ever slept with a guy on the first date? If he pays for everything. Was it for me? No, it absolutely wasn't. What is this? Cheersies. You got to cheers bread. I absolutely feel like there's a girl out there for me. Yeah. Did you pregame the date? I had wine. A glass? Yep. I see those leftward tilting eyes. I found the right one a few times and mucked it up. I just don't always think things totally through, if that makes sense. Just going to use the restroom? Yeah, go ahead. Dude, this girl is a smoke show. She's like model hot. She is a real 10. If I told you that I didn't know what her name was, would you call me nuts? I have no idea what her name is. And I don't know how to figure it out either. Everyone in the First Dates restaurant is single and on a real blind date. Cheers. Do you have any nicknames? Yay. Yay? Yvonne or Donner. Yvonna? Yvonne or Donner. I have a lot of nicknames. Because your name's Yvonna? My name's Yvonne. Is that what you're saying? No, my name is Yvonne and those are my nicknames. That's a sweet name. My name's Dylan. Yeah. While the outcome of Sean and Angela's date is clear, the outlook for Dylan and Yvonne is still somewhat... If I told you you were very pretty again, would you call me weird? Hazy. There you go, guys, whenever you're ready. Thank you. Absolutely. Cool. Do you want to split it? No. Are you sure? Yeah. All right. I think that's the last time I have my card. Yeah, somebody's got to have my card. As their dinner ends, Dylan is determined to make one last old-fashioned gesture in the hopes of breaking through to Yvonne. Somebody's got to have my card. Yeah. Ooh. He just... So his card might have been left. We had that tab already transferred. They didn't take the card, they just combined the bill. Just let me get it, seriously. What I probably did was... No, it's fine. Not close out before the bar. Yeah, it's fine. Okay. Don't worry about it. Yeah. Thank you. You absolutely have to worry about it. What to do? Want to get out of here? Yeah. The date was fantastic. I actually loved the date. Do you want to have a dramatic kiss outside? I don't kiss on the first date. I would love to take you out again. Um... If you would have me. I just, you really think there's, like, the spark and the chemistry? Really? No. Well, then why would you want a second date with someone you don't feel like that? To make it happen. You can't force something like that. It's like a chemical reaction. No, you can't. Let's just give it a shot. I just, I just can't do it. I'm really sorry. Okay. Bye. Oh, my God. That's... You probably screwed that up a little bit. Hi. How you doing? Oh, man. Worst date of my life. Going on this date proved to me that I think, even though you want it to help you get over your past relationship, sometimes it makes you miss, you know, when you had that connection, had that, like, spark and chemistry. Sorry. Hi, your name is? Catherine. I have been a bridesmaid seven times, but I'm just not the bride, and I'm okay with that, kind of. 50-50-ish. I mean, I'm not bitter. Please, come in. I don't know if it's because I'm too picky. I don't know if it's because they think I'm a psychopath. Whatever the reasons for Catherine's failed relationships, she's a woman who knows her needs. My eggs are getting old. I mean, one by one, they're like, peace out. See you later. Have you ever been on a blind date before? Never. I've never been on a blind date. Last guy I dated, he thought things through, and I just felt them through, and we clashed. I had to end it. I was just like, ugh, can't do it anymore. I was wrinkling gray herring. I think it would be nice to date someone completely different from anything I've ever dated. Catherine's blind date is carpet cleaner Woody, and he's definitely... How are you doing? Welcome. ...something different. I guess I'm single because I'm not just going to settle down with a person. I'm going to do my best. Like, I'm going to settle down with my person. I think that might be your date. Will you make sure that he has a shot of tequila ready to just tackle him down? Two shots of tequila coming up. No, no, no, hell no. Oh, no? I've had half of a granola bar. Excuse me? Hi. Hi, I'm Woody. I'm Catherine. Nice to meet you, Catherine. Very good to meet you. I love the blue. Thank you so much. I like the beard. Nice. Hi, how's it going? How are you doing? I'm not saying that you have to be a supermodel, but I think I'm a pretty good-looking guy, so I want to date someone who we look good together. Like, I don't want people to go, how'd that happen? I'm hot. No, you are hot. Unless she's just, like, way hotter than me, and then they can ask how that happened to all they want. I like to drink alcohol now. Can you control yourself on alcohol? Not really. Wine makes me crazy, and champagne makes me psycho, and I had both of them. Yeah? So you're in for a good date. You're in for a good date. Nice. Love is when you can really enjoy that person and their presence, even when you're not doing or saying anything. To be in ourselves, to have fun. Getting married. But you're still in, like, the same room, and you just, you're together, but you're not. So I don't eat meat. You don't eat meat? Really, why? I'm, like, a vegan by day and a carnivore by night. So you do eat meat. Well, not sober. You're a meat eater. Oh, yeah. You were way too aggressive with that. Yeah, we were like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. You need to understand, like, if it came on the plate and it still was, like, mooing. Mooing, like, moo. Moo. Like, it's just, like, mooing. So, like, rare. You like it rare? Yeah. Totally. I just mentally projectile vomited. That's just happened. Hey. Well, I won't force you to eat any of my meat. At the First States restaurant, sometimes the connection is emotional, and sometimes it's something else. What? My cat. F***ing rock. Normally, I'm a little bit more fit than this, but I had surgery, and I can't. Why'd you have surgery? Oh, you had your breasts done. I was so curious about those things. Were you? Oh, God. People think they're real all the time. I mean, I can see them. I mean, I'm not gonna touch them, but I mean, I'm sure I can touch them. But, I mean, they're real. Like, they exist. Like, what makes them fake? They are pretty wonderful. I bet they are. Cheers. You almost just grabbed the flower pot. I did. Drink this s***. You're up, sweetie. I'm up. I'm gonna do it. We're gonna get kicked out. I'm sorry. We're getting kicked out. I want to be in a whirlwind of emotion and thought by the time I'm done with a First State. There should be thoughts clicking in the head of going, what can I do to keep this one around? I think you should take the rest of my tequila shot. You are trying to get me drunk, aren't you? Yeah. Maybe a little. When do you leave tomorrow? Who knows? If you ever leave me, I find you. That's terrifying. I know what you're referencing, but that's terrifying. To make it to the second date, he has to make me laugh. He needs to step his a** up and be a man, a gentle man. What would our second date be? I would take you someplace that I truly enjoy. How do you feel about mud? Mud. How do you feel about mud? I don't know. Like, mud where? Like a mud mask when I'm doing a facial? I don't know. I'm saying, like, being outside and doing outdoorsy stuff and getting the canoe. Canoe? Yeah. And paddle. OK, and then what? Will you go camping for a weekend and not take a shower? No, I don't know. Here's your check whenever you're ready, OK? Thank you. All right. Now, I'm going to ask you this, Katherine. OK. Before we even look at that. OK. How do you want to do this? I think that the man should always pay. You think the man should always pay? 100%. Let's see what it is. We'll go about. I don't think that you should let me know what it is. I'm going to go to the bathroom. Wait, why are you going to the bathroom? What are you going to do? I'll be right back. You're going to take off running out the door. I'm not going to take off running. Yo, I'm having an interesting time, to say the least. Is this ready for me to take? I don't think so. I'm not quite sure what's happening. OK. We just got the tab, and it's like $200. And she wants me to pay it. I guess I'm running out the door. As the evening winds down at the First Dates restaurant, Woody and Catherine find out if they are financially compatible. This was expensive. Just letting you know. Oh, I should know. Are you trying to get laid now? No. You need to take a look. You realize what that number is? That's not a lot to me. My hairpins cost that much. Thank you, though. Give me a hug. OK, I'll give you a hug. Holy s***. You gave me hugs, all right. I gave you hugs. Knocked your drink over. What's going on? Hi. Hey. That's him. Hey, thank you for dinner. You're a sweetheart. You're wonderful. You really are. Thank you so much. You're wonderful. Are my eyelashes still on? Your eyelashes are still on. Do I still look cute? You do still look cute. Do you want to see me again? I do not want to see you again. Were you going to say yes? I was going to say I was going to see you again and I was ready for marriage. You have to open my door, though. I will. Maintain your gentleman-ship. I will open the door. Not for me. I'm sorry. The sex would be great. See? That's disgusting. I want a divorce. We're not married. Yeah, we are.