Cy's Corner - Brutally Blunt on Relationships, the Single Life & Which Warriors Are Most Attractive

what is going on up here i never know man dave damon damon fighter of the night man champion of the sun son you're a master of karate and friendship for everyone a day man that's it man fighter of the night man [Music] all right welcome to a new edition of size corner part of rick perry's house hall of famer rick berry is not around and when he's not i take the helm solo and run this little shop here i'm really stoked to have my guests on today because they host a really entertaining podcast i was a guest of theirs it's been a couple years now but now it's their turn to come on my show i get to ask the questions i'm super excited i have jennifer and katie with me host of a really funny podcast called brutally blunt you can follow it on instagram at brutally blunt podcast how are you two doing where in the world are you let's start with that because you two are not in the same location so jennifer i'll start with you yeah we are doing good a little bit nervous because typically we like to ask questions like oh yeah yeah i would like to i don't like when people ask me questions yeah right but you know we'll see how it goes um but right now i'm currently in california i don't live here i'm a new yorker yeah given up the california life um still in california hopefully we'll still go to i still want to go to new york though that's still the dream and the goal why would you give up the california life what's so bad about it that new york is giving you um well san francisco just sucks like that's your bottom line um but as far as la goes i don't know like i'm just not in to um but yeah so i just wanted something different you know my honest opinion is new york is the greatest city in the world i i respect you for living there i've never done that i visited um it is an awesome place uh and then katie where are you i know you're you're a southern california native jennifer's from danville a town i'm all too familiar with uh i grew up kind of near there uh yeah so where are you katie still southern california um i've been here my whole life that's why i want to move to new york is just like a change of pace and life so yeah we'll we'll see what changes you look like i mean what change in pace in life do you need like i feel like you have everything going on for you so what do you need to change up in your life that's not going right right now i don't know they say in life you need to switch up your energy and i'm all about switching up energy so i think it's time to do it eventually i don't know when i'll take the plunge but eventually i will all right at some point it's just like a different vibe there like so you know why not very different yes new york is night and day there's about different men there i don't know if you can get much better than la i mean they're kind of like peter pan syndrome here anyways so i think new york's the same i think you're gonna get well i feel like you're in new york the peter pan syndrome is not a syndrome it's just a way of life yeah excuse me it's like a lifestyle uh right if you don't want to grow up you want to continue having a lot of fun uh without having family and all that crap involved yeah new york's the great place to go um may i ask your i know i know it is completely rude to ask a lady what her age is so give us a ballpark what is the the five to ten year range you two fall on unless you are comfortable sharing your ages but where what are we looking here so you can get a better perspective in life in terms of where you two are yeah i mean i don't give a [ __ ] i'll tell my age i am 3-0 the big 30 just turned 30 a few months ago um yeah congrats and i'm very clean sorry i apologize yeah cyrus it's a clean 30. love it yeah and i'm 31. wow i'm the older friend yes if you two had told me you were like 22-23 i know i know you're not that young because at least katie we go way back i mean please just tell us that it's fine i wouldn't be hearing it i i'm not just blowing smoke i i really genuinely i think maturity wise we're still a little behind we've had psychics tell us that we are very immature my psychic goal is i look younger than i am emotionally we're just like yeah is your immaturity um intentional is it just uh is it just how you are what is the reason for their maturity um so childhood trauma um no i'm just kidding um but it would have been a valid reason i don't it's not intentional i'm not just worried why would you like grow up yeah life is i was going to say life is short but like i mean why not be younger for you're only as old as you feel someone once told me that and i was like okay well okay you literally sound you sound like a 50 year old man trying to head on that's literally what he was the line they always use but he was married with kids but this is your last phone call no no my friend's uncle was like you're only as old as you feel and i was like thank you very i agree with that i agree with that like but i do think like guys are very immature like at any age and i feel like that's just like an excuse for men half the time to say that it's a poor excuse i mean i don't think you're gonna get far in life if if the man continues that trend although i guess the old adage nice guys finish last there's a lot of truth to that because i do see a lot of you richter ladies out there um dating total losers and i always always feel like there's a contradiction there it's like you know we individuals should mature right otherwise like you're going to be stunting your growth and whatnot but at the same time i also i always see the stereotypical attractive woman like you two ending up with the biggest douchebags on the planet who are totally immature why is that by the way why do beautiful women end up with such a-holes most of the time your thoughts well i feel like that's a very like la new york thing i don't think that happens everywhere um but i do think that the girls that do end up with [ __ ] are the girls that are most insecure so i don't like for me nice guys don't finish last like i have dated the nicest people they like they look like fugly ugly little rats like they are genuinely nice i think she's right about the insecurity think and i think it's also like um for me i'm gonna avoid an attachment style so if you don't know your attachment styles your same quizzes and i think you're drawn you're also subconsciously drawn to people who are just like you so i think when you go for the [ __ ] it's because they're also emotionally unavailable like myself so it's easier because you're like oh okay well you're an [ __ ] but like it's also i don't really want it to go anywhere with these [ __ ] you know what i mean it's fun for the moment but i'm not gonna get emotionally attached because i'm an avoidant so that's why i think a lot of girls go for [ __ ] or they like the challenge or something like that and you're like i can fix them and i'm done with projects i don't need to fix anybody the projects are over i'm not in my 20s anymore fix yourself like i'm done and i hate when guys say like nice guys finish last like oh i don't even have a shot like that is absolute [ __ ] like it's just that you guys aren't coming up to us like you get intimidated you're taking yourself out of the game before you the game has even started like that's your fault that's not on me like has anyone ever come up to me and said hey i think you're really pretty can i buy you a drink and i've been like rude to them no never in my life and never in my life and ever you want to talk to me you have to talk to me yeah the only people that i'm rude are like two are the complete [ __ ] like the douchebags like i would almost rather you not be attractive because like if you are unattractive and if you are attractive and treat me like an [ __ ] then i look like a dumb [ __ ] so i would just rather you know if it turns out bad at least you aren't a 10 out of 10 because it's like well damn you know but like were you two saying but did you two have the same attitude when 10 years ago no no okay but 10 years ago 20. so you are mature like my brain wasn't even like fully developed then no your frontal lobe does not develop right until age 21 22. so 10 years ago no if not later yeah and i wasn't able to make decisions the [ __ ] that we went for weren't even like physically attracted they just had this like delusional self-confidence absolutely like i was always aware physically i was better than everyone like that i was like going for but it was because my ego that i've worked that i've worked on i've learned and done a lot of research on ego and your ego is like what is like protecting you almost so it's like you go for just like these people in these like bad situations and when they don't like you back you're like what the [ __ ] so you keep wanting to try to go for them just to prove to your own ego i can get them when you don't even [ __ ] want them in the first place they have nothing to offer you but it's all just to satisfy your own ego and until you get over that you're not you're gonna not go for those nice guys that's well you two sound like you have matured a lot i mean these are very mature responses you're giving me so i maybe immature is not the right label to apply to both of you in terms of why you have no desire to really settle down and you want to go explore the world um my my counter to to this desire of uh living freely and and doing what you want and not being strapped down with major commitments at least on a family level is that mother nature is not a feminist and what i mean by that is you do have a clock biologically speaking right you want to have kids someday is that in the is that in the map i mean me personally i don't have a clock i don't i don't i froze my eggs so i don't want that pressure on me like okay you know i want to end up with the right person but also it's nowadays it's just like a little bit different you know we have like all these alpha male [ __ ] like back in the day like if you're going to be an alpha male at least like you're providing but like i can't put myself in a situation where like i'm putting myself a maternity leave like i'm stepping back in my career when like realistically like you can't support us so it's like i'm not going to just settle down for anyone because i'm lonely i'm not going to worry about my clock my clock will be fine it'll happen when it's supposed to happen if it doesn't happen then i have less leeches sucking off my tit and then that's great too you know so i'm just like not concerned about it like do i feel like i need a man i don't even need a man to have a kid to be honest like you have to be enhancing my life in some way for me to even be entertaining it and if you're not then and i guys get so upset when girls say that but it's like realistically like when women get married it reduces their lifespan and when men get married it increases their lifespan so why would i want to die early just so that you can have a housewife like spend some money and hire someone hire help like i don't underst i don't understand i never heard that before i've heard that about men i've never heard that about women though yeah women's lifespans decrease when they're when they get married and the happiest it's statistically proven that women who are single and childless are the happiest individuals and the long living ones really you're decreasing our life you're adding nothing but stress to our lives because women enhance a man's life whereas like you're not really adding to ours you're adding more to our plate so like yeah and society nowadays it's like you still have to work you know like i'm still gonna have to work and i enjoy working so i'm i wanna work but at the same time you also have like certain men and your ears being like you have to play a gender role so i'm supposed to work all day then come home and do a second job while you rest like how does that [ __ ] make sense so yeah that's going to decrease my lifespan no this of these scenarios are all obviously provided the man is just a total you know inconsiderate thoughtless human being who is selfish narcissistic there are health i mean you do agree that there are healthy relationships out there right oh 100 um i'm also a big believer in the universe and like everything happens when it happens i go to psychics um i know i can have kids in my 40s so ever since i was 21 years old and i was told that i've never had a fear in my life of having kids i've never had a fear of my biological clock ticking and i'm also good with adoption so i don't need to have my own biological kids i can adopt a child in a harpy and would love that kid like it was my own so for me i have no even if i what was in a healthy relationship like the biological factor has like no bearing on like i'm not like the only thing i guess i would be worried about is like if i did biologically have children who that father would be that's the only thing i would worry about it's not when i would have the kids it's who's that dad because dads literally [ __ ] you up for the rest of your life or they set you up right right right so it's and it's the dad that's the one that's the real [ __ ] in the situation so you have to like make sure you're procreating with the right person that is very true no there's no doubt about that and a huge reason i called you ladies is because i like i'm newly single i do not handle being single well um i love it i know i'm like think i'm happy for you what could be better in my mind i'm not happy for myself but it's you know it's the reality of the situation whatever do you have ancient attachment style it sounds like yeah i guess well first of all it wasn't really a question it was it's time i'm kind of telling you i think you might have it if you can't be alone like what makes you not want to be alone i am alone i am alone so i can be i don't i just don't like it it's not a source of happiness for me um i just have more comfort and and and it's not a dependency to the male's life well yeah yeah it does yeah i don't doubt that but we're fine by our [ __ ] self see we and you're like oh it's just not preferred but it's like i think part of it is i'm learning a lot of interesting psychological terms in this recent process some friends of mine are opening my eyes up to like terms i never heard of i didn't realize narcissism for example is so layered and complex and in-depth and there's a lot of different like tendencies with that you throw out like attachment issues i i'm like i don't enlighten me on that like what what what is this attachment thing because maybe i have this i don't know you have a bow you have avoid avoided attachment you have anxious attachment you have secure attachment which is the goal of life secure attachment it's confident with you and your partner anxious you're always kind of just like worried that like they're gonna leave you or something's gonna go wrong or you always have to have them by your side avoidant is just like kind of leave me the [ __ ] alone or you just like want your own space to handle and deal with things and if you have an anxious and an avoidant together it's kind of that's typically what gets together and it causes a lot of issues like for example with an avoidant person typically as a child you were taught to self-soothe so you like you know if something you don't know your emotions like you are sent to your bedroom and you're going to figure it out and then you know but you're used to coping on your own so it's very difficult for you to only i'm in charge of my emotions right and no one else's and with the anxious you like almost like let other people be in charge of your emotions okay that's crazy yeah i'm not like i'm a giver like i i'm not someone who is selfish in a relationship maybe it just it's just there's a fulfillment thing there you know taking care of someone maybe it's and it's okay to be in a relationship which i'm trying to learn myself like it's okay to want to want to be in a relationship it's just when you feel like you need it to complete you i think is where the issue and it's really good that i think it's amazing that you're a giver but like sometimes you have to remember that like balance is very necessary like some of that you should probably be giving to yourself versus giving to someone else so they can just take and take and take from you until that's part of what i experienced yeah that's part of what i experienced and i i just self-awareness hit me like a ton of bricks in terms of the situation i was in and yeah i was with someone who was just strictly a taker and who did not put my feelings or wants or needs at all in consideration well have you two ever been in a serious relationship yeah no interesting jennifer is that by choice has it just as the sparks never been felt and you'd rather wait for that right moment like what is the reason for you jennifer that you've never been in one in your thoughts my avoidant attachment style has come in hardcore in my life um so i was moved at like a pretty critical age in middle school um so i think that adds to a lot of it um and like katie said you know if you are emotionally unavailable you tend to go after emotionally unavailable people typically for me now what i'm realizing this has been a realization probably in self-reflection in the past month or two um is that i like to go for people that are emotionally unavailable um because i'm it's an easy out for me like i know my exit route um for example i was talking this one guy and we were like dating for like probably a good six seven eight months yeah and then i knew he was just coming out of like a pretty serious relationship they lived together and everything and so he's just like i'm trying to feel my way out and i don't know what i want right now and i knew that he didn't want a relationship so it got to the point where i was like i want a relationship and he was like well i can't do that right now and i was like cool deuces and i was out and i never once got that like he would call me every weekend he was upset he was crying he was like i changed my mind and i was like no i'm out but i never the thing is i never wanted to be in so i found someone that i knew i couldn't go all in with because it was an easy out so that's typically it's a very it's the same cycle with every single person that i talk to same exact cycle different person happens the same way is it like a self-defense mechanism where you're protecting yourself but what if like uh what if the guy never left like would you was could you have maybe been in a long-term relationship with him like now like if he had not done that so regardless it would have would have ended because i don't i didn't like him as a person at all um so i just put myself in situations that like i'm not even to be honest i'm not even listening when they're talking like i have no connection i'm wearing a mask like you don't know me i don't know you and i don't want you to we're never going to be emotionally intimate we're never going to be able to be physically intimate because i have a blocker up yeah and that's just what it is but i'm working on it i'm taking it down now yes like up to this point yeah you no one was gonna be able to know me because i didn't even know myself to be honest but like i wasn't gonna allow you to get i really dislike your hometown by the way jennifer and and i wonder if that added a complex to you um it wouldn't surprise me if it did given how shallow and ostentatious danville california is i'm sorry if i'm hating on your hometown i grew up very close to there um and i have my opinions i think for good reasons but whatever uh katie you you have been in a serious relationship though mm-hmm yeah and then so how many of you guys have been in just one um i mean i've had boyfriends and then i would say like one was like super serious and then um but it was very toxic and i was very young and um it took me like 15 years to officially like even cut the cord like of him out of my life completely um he actually recently after like just called me the other day and i ignored it obviously but like obviously i i was really because i put boundaries up and i was like and i'm not sickening that this was how many years ago and you're right still caught up on this like how did you get over yourself how did the relationship end it was the super toxic fight per usual and i was 21 and after that and but we i met him when i was 14 and then we started dating when i was like when i was 19 and then i broke up with him at 21 and i wasn't even i was like it was like i was a different person then i didn't know anything like it it was a it's like your karmic love that you go through when you're young and that so i'm appreciative i got it out of the way um but then it kind of set me up after that to like put this wall up and i was like i'm done and i'm never gonna let anyone in to do this to me ever again and i've done that ever since so you both have had these interesting experiences that have made you create these emotional uh boundaries and walls and and that's interesting but do you do you warn the men ahead of time that this is how you are so that they don't fall in love oh my gosh i'm a hunter you know like why would i warn my prey but does it not bother you that you might hurt these men that you're getting involved with i'm not hurting them i can tell you that because no because the typically the guys that i'm going after are people people who don't want to even like date me like ultimately it actually no 100 like people that like don't want to date me absolutely so we're cool they're setting themselves to you know her and i've only had one scenario really where they truly got hurt and that was that guy that i was talking about yeah but like he then went on to just like he continued on his road of rampage you know like he went and like got married and divorced in a year and but like he did that same [ __ ] to his ex-girlfriend so it's great sometimes it's like i'm karma but also like your karma for me you know i just feel i'm not like i would never truly put myself in a situation because i'm very empathetic to her actual good person typically like i won't get to that point so in other words if i feel like you're too nice sorry yeah so your thought first please yeah i'm gonna say i think there's i saw this on selling sunset there's a placeholder and there's the game changer and i think everyone that i've gone for or we've been been each other's placeholders so until that game changer comes around like that just hasn't happened yet like am i open to the game changer now yes but it's taken me 31 years to get here that's because so so you so basically the men that you involve yourselves with sort of opens i'm sort of open i'm not fully open yet okay okay sorry sorry that's probably there's progress from what you have been saying so the men you involve yourselves with i'm guessing you're like total alpha kind of a-hole types who like you just have no worries about breaking it off at any point because you sense that they will not care either is that fair to say or correct me if i'm if i'm off here yeah i know they're emotionally immature as well and they're emotionally and not going to be able to connect anyways so i'm kind of like well until you do your own inner work i can't really be the one to help like guide you through that even though naturally that's who i am i want to help guide everyone and be like their highest and best selves and i was like a fixer and like empathetic and i was like i want to be here and like understand like your trauma and why you are the way you are why are you such an [ __ ] why are you because i think you want like as women like you naturally are a fixer but i'm like if you don't want to fix yourself that's not my problem anymore interesting so you so so you when you actually feel i'm guessing you bit you two have been in these situations because again you are uh i'm trying i'm trying to sound crass saying this but i'm guessing whatever setting you two are in um yeah men are looking at you and they and with a keen eye right i mean you are not you're very attractive individuals that's i guess i'm like that's not being inappropriate saying that but i i'm guessing you're sensing pretty early on if the guy really likes you because if that's the case you're just gonna cut them off right because you don't want to hurt them do you get in those situations how do you end it how do you how do you let them how do you let them down softly and and gently and or do you know yeah i try not to ghost because i don't want to be ghosted i don't want to put that negativity out there thank you um so it's not that i won't respond but like i will just slowly taper it off yes you have it's the tapering off it's i can't this week can't next week oh something just came up i'm not really like something's always gonna i i don't wanna ghost you ever but like i also know it's not gonna go anywhere so i feel bad but i'm not like i don't know it's not like it's not like scary ghosting it's like i'm casper you know that in and i'm i've i've sensed that and i just i guess that confirms that whenever you're uh involved with someone and whatever this situation is when they start when their responses are more delayed and they're shorter and they're less you know fun that's their way of giving you that i'm i'm heading out of this right is that is that fair to say it depends because delayed responses like people like to play games with that that could totally mean that they actually like you a lot um but yeah i would sense the tone for sure like if they're like short with you if they if you're having to like text them two and three times get them to respond like no it's just take yourself you're like setting yourself up for failure like because eventually they're gonna have to get the point where they're just gonna have to be blind with you and be like listen this is not gonna [ __ ] work this is great advice this is great advice because i think a lot of people in either side of the or any side of the gender spectrum if they're really into someone but unfortunately that's the situation you find yourself in sometimes where you really like them but you know the reaction time for the messages can be hours sometimes days and you know i always take that as a hint okay they're not into me and it's time to move on if you like didn't [ __ ] text me back for days i'd be like dude yeah that's a little high that's like hours okay but if you don't like i'm sorry this isn't like a next business day kind of situation that you're gonna get back yeah we're closed yeah sorry after hours like no you have like there's time to respond like sometimes yes you're very busy during the day i don't need someone at my butthole all day texting me all the time but like if i like you i'm gonna respond otherwise i'm just like going to be kind of like nonchalant when i'm texting back i don't really care that badly like i i really do appreciate youtube for saying though that ghosting is weak it's such a it's such a bad move it's just a cruel image it is there's ghosting and then there's crumbing what is that bread crumbing is worse bread crumbing is like when you just like give them little hints every now and then it's i think it's called breadcrumbing it's like and you just kind of keep them like yeah you're dangling them and guys do it a lot just to they kind of keep you around and then it's like oh hey i'm back and then it's like a couple months later hey i'm back or you could be like my ex-boyfriend three years later hey i'm back like when i said we're never gonna talk again literally an ex-boyfriend who ten years later called you the other day yeah but they always come back they always come back and always come back and i'm like what i have said the worst things to men i have been the meanest person to a man and i'm like why do you want to talk to me yeah why i don't know what else you can do right like to tell you like don't [ __ ] be with me don't talk to me like the thing is it's like you know when you get like an obsession over something and it's like you just want it like and if it's not clear you're gonna like make up scenarios in your head and like make yourself think that it's something that it's not because like you are guys ignore boundaries guys have no [ __ ] they are just like a boundary what's that i don't know and then they just like keep [ __ ] going and i'm like dude i this is like i'm like are you not embarrassed like still messaging me like i if you would ignore my text one time i would be like okay we're done oh my god yeah yeah well amber avoidance like i feel like avoidant people like when we say something's done it is actually done like yeah when i say like i don't want to talk to you anymore when i say like i'm done done like there's nothing in this world that could change my mind i mean maybe maybe if you pulled up to my house and left a package on my front door with 500 million dollars i might think about it but like that it has to be something that extreme because when i tell you no and i'm done like i've already put you in a box i've compartmentalized you you were dead you're six feet under like it's done or you get or like it's like how i've been working on myself and i really want to apologize to you that one usually gets me um because i i'm like so sorry this whole oh i know but i've gotten so many starters to say sorry over time one more [ __ ] i know but they send me a letter one person no no one needs to see you in person to say sorry it's literally a word say sorry and then that's it and i say thank you and then yeah i'm at their lives you're absolutely right so jennifer is it safe to say that katie's gonna end up marrying this guy that called her the other day no definitely not i would i would honestly be judging i've blocked him on everything i've literally watched him for three years i've had him vlog for years um i forgot to block the number but i had him blocked on all my socials and i had friends block them on socials but like um but no even i've or even with other guys i've tried to like delete their number and then i'm like okay that doesn't really work either um i've tried to do all different things but they always creep creep in but no this one i 100 guaranteed like that this one would never creep its way back in that's incredible i'm loving this conversation you're you're enlightening me and then some so what is it and i know you got you got to run in just a second here uh first of all you're if you're eating like another 15 10 15 10 15. okay cool okay so uh first of all if you want your show added to rick barry's house let me know because um i would love to have your program added to our lineup it's your call uh i i cause you two are both warriors fans um that's the whole reason like we we talked the last time even though we're not even touching sports in this in this uh show today what is in your and my psychic did recently say that my future husband and i are going to bond over sports so that's going to be yes is that is that a criteria for both of you do they have to be sports a sports fan like no i didn't give a [ __ ] when she brought it up i was like oh like i don't love swords in the defense of all the men out there there are a lot of good ones i i i feel like when you talk and i fully believe it yeah there's the ones you're encountering and maybe it's intentional so that you're not hurting them i think it's subconsciously intentional yeah exactly yeah you're not it is it's inadvertent but um so what is what should a nice guy do if he wants to settle down like what's what's the path what if he wants to end up with someone like youtube they're like oh my god i want to get i want to i'm ready to chill i'm done playing this game uh online dating looks awful i have no desire to touch that but i might have to um what's what's the avenue in post-pandemic earth first i'm gonna say personally me like if you're trying to date me if you're listening and you're like wow jennifer's really the best um the best thing to do is to just be brutally blunt no come up to me and just say hi buy me a drink um i take that as a sign of you being serious if you're spending money on me if you're not buying a drink then i can't take you it's not that i can't take you serious but it's just like i don't know that time is money time is money it is if you're not and if you're just gonna chit chat with me you're wasting my time no you gotta at least buy a drink but the advice i've always gotten is you're not going to meet a quality person at a bar and you and you're sitting here telling me that i should go to a bar and buy somebody you no i think people like to people like to just create [ __ ] up in their head like because everyone wants to put everything in little boxes and be like oh you know like the best place to meet your man is that church well you know where else is that church cults so like you know it's just you can't take it like i know the grain of salt like my parents met at a party and they have been married like 31 years or like whatever you can't have a connection if you meet someone out and you meet someone else like i've heard of so many stories where it's like oh we were supposed to be a one-night stand and then they're like together literally heard that on housewives so like it's like i don't know but like look they're like together so it's working out and they have kids and a family and it [ __ ] worked so i just think it like and then look at people who meet people like i don't know you could do an online dating app but the thing about the apps like i've never done them but like i've like done them with jennifer in terms of like going through guys and swiping with her and i was like this is so [ __ ] up because i'm literally judging everyone yeah off their appearance so to me i'm gonna have to meet you in person because it's going to be a vibe off our energy because i can't especially with those nice guys right because like also i've also had this like new thing where i'm like i would like to be attracted to you physically right away and not have to like grow to like you anymore yes because i'm done with that like that's not fair i'm i don't think that's fair anymore yeah because it's yeah and i don't find a lot of men attractive unless they're famous so if a guy in real life comes up to me and i'm attracted to him i'm like oh my god are we going out are we going to be together because that's rare i can't think of these looks aren't important like i don't even need they're usually for me but the people the most physically attracted to it has nothing to do with their look it's just like the energy that i'm just really mashing with in that moment and it has nothing to do with like their face their i mean a little bit about their height but like it you know there's a minimum negotiable it's a deal breaker for for height uh five for me i would i mean i'm a little bit shorter so i would say like i could do five eight five nine okay cool cool i'm 5 10. i was wondering about that like like if uh what what what the broadway race so you're you're sure jennifer what's short to you how tall are you well i'm i'm not sure i'm average but i'm five four but yeah that's cool yeah guys are taller than me so i do have like a little bit more leeway than like katie would or like some of my other friends like katie one like seven i'm five seven i've dated shorter i've dated like in the fives um and i personally once again am now going for i just think like when i'm in heels i would like to be like at least eye level so for me at least six is in a real six foot not like a liar who's like every guy you subtract two inches they tell you they're six two they're not six two they're six one and a quarter or like there's every single time i'm like we're not rounding up stop running any situations um so ideally i would like you to be over six foot but that's just because when i'm in heels i like i'd like to be i love yeah and i mean it's not even like it's not like a deal breaker for me right yeah i would like for you to be of a certain height but like it's really like not that big of a deal to me like i said it's more your energy and then like are you coming with your a-game because there's nothing that pisses me off more because like i don't date often so like if i choose to spend my time with you and you aren't bringing your a game then that [ __ ] pisses me off like i went on a date with a guy who was like a friend of a friend um like last month and his idea of a first date and i know he ha i know he has a decent job i know he has money but and he did pay for everything don't get me wrong but like his idea of a first date was to like take me to a dive bar and to me that's like extremely disrespectful because that's telling me that you don't like you don't see me as anything more than a hookup because what do you do at a bar you get [ __ ] up when you hook up like that is you know you basically brought me to a whole please take me to a lounge or something yeah no at least like i mean i'm hungry i'm a hungry [ __ ] this ass doesn't stay fat by me not nibbling on nuts you know i need like food so take me out to dinner even if it's not like the nicest dinner like just like show some intentions we could go for drinks but like not a dive bar like just like go to absolutely normal a cocktail bar yeah like anywhere that's like a little nicer like i don't need to go to like [ __ ] mastros on the first date like no but it's just it's like the intention that it shows and he could have been extremely serious and want something with me but like for me it's already done like it's already cut off like we are not going anywhere because what am i supposed to like tell our kids that daddy took me to a dive bar like a cheap hooker than the first night like it'd be one thing if you guys like were out with friends and like that's how you met and you were like oh okay and had a connection but that's like totally different and then that's not what you guys are right i'm just saying it'd be different that way but like or if he like eventually you guys were dating and was like hey let's go to like do something different tonight and like oh my gosh but yeah but like not in the beginning like but yeah bringing out your name nice guys also i think like at least i found this with like older men they don't have a they don't know when like women or girls are like not [ __ ] interested i'm like you [ __ ] are creepy and weird like i don't know how to [ __ ] help you with this dude my dude like this is like they're like come on i'll take you here like they're more inclined to like try to win and dine you but it's like i don't want to whine and dine with you right like you know what i mean so you don't get the hint of what you're trying to say no and it's not good like or they're like like i've had older like be like what's wrong with me like a yoga for that dude i'm like because that dude's not [ __ ] annoying me like he's not annoying the older you get the more set in your ways you are like that's just bottom line and then also you've gotten to a place in your life probably where you've been able to get there through control so you just feel like you can power through anything like oh she doesn't like me i can make her like me like no the [ __ ] you can't you know like yeah just chill but like older men i feel like and i think that's why older men go for girls in their 20s too because in your 20s you're still learning who the [ __ ] you are you're still making stupid decisions and then you can kind of mold her into what you want her to be totally compatible i'm like you're not going to control me [ __ ] you think you yeah you can take advantage yeah that's taking advantage i i haven't been on a first date in probably eight years my go-to was typically sushi bars or top is bars because you can eat but it's not like super heavy or serious but they got cocktails i don't know is that a good call for a first aid yeah yeah no i went on a very nice first date with this super super nice guy and we had tapas and then we got a drink after and it was a very nice date you know like i was very happy with that date um also a date that would go really well but like i've gone on great dates but that doesn't mean like i feel a connection yeah because i'm not i'm just like i don't know with a first date i'm just probably like if i function very much like uh what you would think the stereotypical man is like like if i hit it on the first night i probably don't see it going anywhere to be honest yeah i hear it it's a good reason to string it out it's it uh i'll i'll end on this note you said uh katie you you said you like famous guys i don't know if you you have seriously i wouldn't actually date them but like i mean physically i'm attracted to famous friend that's like but who are these some of these people like like for example are there any golden state warriors players or what who are some of the questions steph curry if maya if i could build my ideal perfect man's stuff would be like from top to bottom everything about him is perfect um but um do i wish i saw men in real life and were like attracted to them 100 it's like my goal of life is to be like look at you right away and be like oh my god you're so attractive but i think with famous people it's just like it's not like because they're famous it's just like i find them attractive like travis kelsey chris evans um and i have crushes on people who aren't known to be attractive celebrities like who yes um chad krueger from nickelback i have a fashion he's not ugly though not like he's not great i mean but like he's a type i wouldn't tell that to the world and i tell it here we are anywhere but see when i told people they go oh so we're going obtainable and i go duh like do you know me to go for anyone but obtainable as if i've met him before like but like yeah like jennifer who are some of your uh who are some of the famous men that you're attracted to if you don't if you don't mind me um some of them are similar to katie like i do like travis kelsey and i do like chris evans um america baby i see it i get it yeah yeah and then there's this one kid on tick tock that i really like his name's jimmy um and then like i don't know it's always random yeah it's like random celebrity crushes like i mean none of them are like similar the only thing that i would say is similar between like uh what's it called uh travis and chris is they have swag and that's hoping jennifer and i are very big on absolutely like it's 100 it's like i wrote it down in like my list of qualities it was like like and it's not even like what you think because you can't see it it's not like oh like that's out of physical training no it's your attitude right it's confidence i imagine confidence is a huge thing yeah i get it yeah yes so that's why it's hard because it's like yes i would like to be physically attracted to someone right right off the bat but like with girls you can grow to like people unfortunately it goes both ways though it goes both ways and i know and by the way katie i'm with you i i do not get attracted to people easily it's actually very hard for me and that's part of the reason why i hate being single is because it's like it's like [ __ ] man like right i can't do that every one of the yeah i see almost every person in the world or if you're single and you know and i'm just like i don't want to be with any of you i you know but i don't want to be alone either and just it's just it's just a shitty situation i mean i will level with you like it isn't fun to do things by yourself like i do like having a companion i mean right now it's my girl katie she fills that void for me probably if i didn't have a close friend then yeah i might be a little bit more apt to be seeking a relationship yeah like if i moved away like i would be like okay i get why people would want to be in a relationship well i don't know i moved away and but you know it happens yeah i found friends right but um i can say you didn't find friends i could see i can see the draw to companionship like her friend recently just started hanging out with someone and she's like oh i like actually like hanging out with him like i enjoy his company which is really rare for her as well and she's almost like embarrassed to admit it and i'm like it's okay like we can like people like because i feel like we come off as like these like not like man-haters or anything like that it's just we don't need that to validate our lives it's the same thing yeah that's healthy that's healthy i'm not advocating for that i just i just find life a lot more pleasurable when you're and again i'm i'm not i'm so against hustle culture like i'm all about just chilling uh having a laid-back lifestyle like and having someone to just watch amazing tv shows with is really all i'm asking and and i do that with myself and my friends and i'm so good with it but like i will say if i found that with someone i would love that like yeah to watch my shows with to go do things with like i would love that it's just i haven't found that person so until then um it's not easy but i would would i would i like it sure it's just like i mean i have never you know like like our friend we were saying you know she was like i really enjoy hanging out with this guy like i have never in my life and it's probably the people that i'm attracting but i've never in my life thought like wow i just genuinely enjoy my time with this person like that is a rarity like i just if you're there typically it's just like you're there and then i'm like okay can you leave like i gotta watch myself like when can i go home like can i get yeah nobody if you feel like that then you're not the right person well yeah like literally not no guy that i talked to that's in the right you also have to be like willing to be open-minded and part of that involves the boundaries coming down and right which we are now slowly starting to do but like that takes a lot of work and like that doesn't just like happen overnight and it's kind of like a fake it till you make it sort of a thing like i say affirmations now every day about it just because like i'm trying to open myself up to it like and my psychic was like you need to start wearing pink more and not so much black as i'm wearing and that's why her hair is and i was going to do pink way before she said that but okay okay i gotta i just i'm slowly gonna do it slowly gonna do it but if you think it's gonna make it this was a pleasure brutally blunt podcast is the instagram handle you're on tick tock too how can people find you there and anything else you want to promote about your show i want to try to bring you into our rick barry's house but go ahead what else what else promote promote plug go for it please same handle on tick tock um we're pretty funny on there too i don't know you guys check out an episode we just talk about we just talk [ __ ] but if you're easily offended i wouldn't listen to be honest well if you're easily offended just jump off a cliff man i mean right there there's too many easily offended people in my book but that's just me um i love you too thank you this was a pleasure well thank you thank you i didn't say anything that was you didn't know i hope we didn't offend you that's always our biggest concern is affecting others no we're all yeah and i just want to like leave you with those little notes virus you're gonna find the person that is meant for you that you're going to level with and that's going to be someone that fills up your tank as much as you fill up their tank um but you know just sit back first don't live in fear don't live in fear and maybe just sit back for a second and see if that person comes to you sounds good i think that's sage advice thank you i will i'll listen i will listen and you two have fun with your incredible confidence and your your security that is abound where you don't need anyone i envy that that is a such a healthy attitude because i guarantee you're both happy good for you congratulations brutally blunt is the name of the podcast you can follow them on instagram tick tock at brutally blunt podcast i don't know why it's so hard to say that is it easier for you to call your say your show name really it looks great on paper when i say it brutally blunt i don't know why that's hard is that hard is it just me yeah it's a tongue twister don't say bibi the double baby bb with drinking it looks good but on paper it looks amazing thank you ladies thank you so much um can you enjoy new york enjoy southern california and let's do this again soon i'm down all right yeah thanks so much thanks for having us i'll come on your show next time if you want i'll totally yeah i'll be the guinea pig sounds good all right