Why Parents Love Henry Cho _ Best Family Comedy Moments _ Henry Cho Comedy

My wife and I are very blessed. We have three kids. We have two boys and a little girl. Buddy of mine had four boys, finally had a girl. His first thought was, hallelujah, so they named her Hallie. Isn't that sweet? So my daughter's name is Vasectomy. We call her Snippy. Snippy Cho if you're keeping score. I've got to stop telling that joke now. When she was little when I wrote it, you know, if you'd see some public, they'd walk up to her and go, oh, you must be Vasectomy. She's a little girl. She's like, I guess, I don't know. Now she's a teenager. Just the other day, she's like, thanks, Dad. That old man over there just called me Vasectomy. I'm like, well, if he's going to pay for your car, I'd shut up. My boys' names are Jackson and Grant, because we knew they were going to fight. Okay, some of y'all know nothing about U.S. history, do you? We thought about Lee and Grant, but Lee's too Korean. She's shaking her head at me. I love it. Any Asian people in the crowd, by chance, clap if you're Asian. Just clap. One, two. One, two. Two? That's about right. No, Asian people don't come to my shows because they don't respect what I do because I was supposed to be a doctor. Or play the cello. Now, this is the 37th year I've been doing stand-up. My cousins weren't allowed to watch me on television because, God forbid, they do something like this. So, thank you for showing up. There was some marketing research done on me and five of my comedian pals just to find out our target market audience, and mine is 94% white and 0.01% Asian. So, you hit the nail on the head. What nationality are you? Filipino. Chinese. Sorry, had to think about it. I have to ask because, you know, I can't tell. Maybe that's why they don't come to my shows. I'm kidding. I can tell, but it's dark. I can guess. The crazy thing is, my driver's license says I'm white. Sixteen years old, Knoxville, Tennessee. I go through the whole process. I get to the end, there are only two boxes you can check. The lady looks up and goes, well, you ain't black. I've been white since I was 16. Still says I'm white. It's confusing at the airport. If the TSA guy doesn't know who I am, he's always like, white? I'm like, well, dude, there are only two boxes. Yeah, you ain't black. Clap if you have kids middle school or younger. How many kids do you have? Three. What are the ages? Just throw out numbers. We're not going to check. Start over. What are the ages? Six, four, and two. Well, I can tell why you don't know anything. You haven't been out. Do you have a sitter? Maybe? I've actually asked that before, and a couple went, wow, and ran out. Boys or girls? One girl, two boys. I had boy, boy, girl. My boys don't get the daddy-daughter thing. They don't get it. They're like, dad, you just spoil her rotten. I go, yeah, sure do. She gets anything she wants. I go, yeah, she sure does. She wants a pony. You going to get her a pony? I go, yeah, I'll get her a pony. They're like, can we get a new Xbox? I go, no, God saved money for a pony. Just get out of my house. I'll be in my groceries. You spank your kids? You spank them? No? Well, all right, bring them by here. I'll pop them for you. Clap if you got spanked growing up. I want to hear who got spanked. Everybody okay? Car seats, I'll give you 100%. Bicycle helmets, come on. If Bobby can't ride a bike, that's Bobby's fault. Clap if you never wore a helmet. Who never wore a helmet out there? Everybody okay? Yeah, see, Bobby ain't here because Bobby ain't supposed to be here. That's nature's way. That's why we have so many stupid people nowadays that aren't wearing helmets. We have no way to thin the herd. That's a joke, people, okay? I don't wish any harm on any child unless he can't ride a bike. That's a joke, don't email me, please. When you get home tonight, just wake them up and pop them. They go, what was that? You go, Mr. Show said to pop you. I'll be honest with you, though, I've never spanked my daughter, I never have. If she does anything wrong, I just spank one of the boys. They're like, what was that? Should have been watching her. That's my little girl, dude. Do kids play sports yet? Dance? No. That's an activity. I'm sure it is now. Probably lettering it. Sports have gone too far, man. Kids' sports, I don't know what to do anymore. I coached Jackson's baseball and basketball teams back when he was younger. We won a few games, never won a championship, but he has seven trophies. Just for showing up. I never get that last season. Trophies came to the house, I threw them away. My wife goes, what are you doing? I go, somebody's put a stop to this. She goes, you have to give those out. I go, I'm not doing it. Last game, we got beat 18-2. They could care less. They just lined up for their trophies. I go, Coach Cho, where's our trophies? I go, you know what, you don't get one this year. Why not? Well, because you're a loser. Now put your helmet on and get out of here.