My Dating Life In NYC Pt. 3 (Old Fling + Juicy Updates!)

I would not have remembered anything. I bet if we look back at the messages, we could probably kind of tell, should we? No. Alright, fine. I saw you've been doing this whole dating series, how did it go, how's it going? It's good, so we did episode one and two, this is episode three, and I have some updates for everybody. Why are you single? Um, cause I'm beautiful. I don't know why you would have issues with that, I'm just saying maybe that's why you're single. This is a person who I kind of used to date back in 2020, yes, it's been a long, long time. I met this guy because I was eating tacos and he just put his hot sauce on my tacos. If I had to be honest, that serious? Yes, he was not serious. I'm Frances, I'm an art director at a news station. I have not talked to Andrew for five years. I like the idea of having taller kids. Well to me, I feel like unpopular opinion. I think the grass is greener where your water is. Oh man, welcome to episode three of Finding Love in New York City. Lots to talk about in this one. In this episode, Andrew gets advice from an old friend from down under. He takes a chance and meets up with a woman he hasn't seen in four years. He has a heart to heart with someone who rejected his unseriousness in the past. And he updates you on if he's still dating anyone from episode two. Or one. Hit that like button and subscribe. Alright everybody, walking with Daisy here. Daisy is an Aussie. Based mostly in LA, but now in New York for a little bit. You were just talking about me not being possibly that vulnerable. I think there's some truth to it, yeah. But why do you think that might be? I don't know. I mean, I'd have to dig into your childhood and all that ----. But I don't know why you would have issues with that. I'm just saying, maybe that's why you're single. I feel like you haven't found somebody that you really really love or really have those strong feelings towards. Because you haven't reached that level of vulnerability with them. And you haven't reached that level of vulnerability with them because you haven't reached that level of vulnerability with yourself. Because ultimately people are just like our mirrors. Right, it starts with me. So how do I become more vulnerable with myself? I don't know. I mean, accepting your emotions and staying with them and not judging them. I think that everybody has something to add to this. Everybody has their perspective and everybody's been through things. You have been through your own healing. You're growing. So your perspective is valid. I hear it out. Okay, so you agree with what I said or you don't agree? I can see that there is some truth to that. That I maybe could work on it. How does one work on it? Have you been to therapy? A little bit. Okay, and what happened? I don't think I went to enough. Why did you start going? I didn't want to go because I thought something was broken or I needed to fix anything. It was just I thought maybe I could do better. Okay, but what triggered that thought? Was it a relationship you had? Whether it's platonic or romantic that led to that thought? Yeah, actually now that I'm opening up about it. The first time I went to therapy for like four sessions was I kind of asked like why am I... It did actually have to do with dating. Yeah, I mean I feel like to be... When you learn how to be vulnerable it allows you to have deeper relationships. I found that reflected not just in my romantic relationships but also my friendships. And you know, relationship with my family and everything like that. I think if you don't allow yourself to feel... Like the extent to which you can meet somebody and know somebody is the extent to which you know yourself. So you'll never be able to know someone past a certain level of which... If you haven't surpassed that for yourself yet. I have a date right now meeting at a Malaysian restaurant. And guess what? This is a person who I kind of used to date back in 2020. Yes, it's been a long long time. I think last time we spoke was 2021. And you know for whatever reason it didn't work out. Maybe we can talk about it. But we reconnected recently due to the wonders of social media. I saw on the dating apps and was like... Oh, you're still free. You're still looking cool. Well, I messaged her and was like... Hey, you know, it'd be cool to catch up. So maybe this isn't quite a date but it's definitely a catch up. And we had a good time back then. So we'll see if it's another good time. Maybe it can rekindle something. I don't know. We will see. Alright, let's go. Alright everybody, I'm at New West Malaysia. One of my favorite Malaysian restaurants in New York City. Me and Francis actually decided not to film the meal part. But we'll still film some of it. So everybody say hi. Hello, I'm Francis. I'm an art director at a news station. I have not talked to anyone for 5 years. What was it like when I messaged you? I messaged Francis after I saw her on the dating apps. And I was like... Oh, Francis is nice. Let me just hit her up and see what's up. What did you think when I messaged you this time? I think it was a surprise. It was out of the blue. But I also thought that he was nice. We had a good time hanging out. 4 and a half years ago. And why do you think we didn't go out longer? I think neither of us were really looking for a relationship at the time. We just went on a tour. We hung out a few times. It was fun. But things just kind of fizzled out. Where are you at right now? How's dating in New York? Give me the summary. We've all had relationships since we saw each other. New York dating is probably the worst city to be dating in. But I've seen a lot of interesting people. I feel like that's probably me. A lot of people are very diverse. But I feel like a lot of people are having trouble committing. Yes. I was just explaining to Francis. My whole... I have this theory that... It's not really a theory. But I think the reason why everybody's here... Everybody's eligible. Everybody's kind of cool. There's a lot of good-looking, attractive people. And they're good at what they do. But how come no one's together? And I just think that it's so funny. Because if your network's big enough... There's probably people in your network that are single. That you could make it work with. That you could probably partner with. So... I asked you this question before. But I'm asking you on camera. If you rounded up the top 15 single guys that you know of. That you're friendly with. You could be friends with them. Or you're just friendly with. Out of those 15 or 20 guys. With a... This is a weird analogy. But with a gun to your head. How many of them do you think you could actually make a partnership with? Like marriage with. Make it work. If they committed to. Maybe less than 5. Maybe 5. That's 20%. But I do think that if you were to start off as friends. I kind of already friendzoned you. I wouldn't see you. But... Do you ever see any of them as like... Oh, they have some decent partner qualities. If I commit to it. Yeah. Same with me. If I take the top. Let's just say 20. Single women that I personally know. I'm like yeah. With some heavy commitment from both sides. We could easily make it work. I can make it work. 5 or 6 of them maybe. But how come we're not? Everybody's single and nobody's doing it. Nobody's committing. But everybody's here. Everybody's here. We have to throw a commitment party though. I have to throw a party of just singles that want to commit to something. And then you see each other there. And you wear this armband that says. I'm down to commit. I'm looking for something long term. And then you just look at each other through that lens. But isn't that also supposed to be like the dating apps? Where you put like you're looking for something long term. And then that's supposed to be what. That's supposed to be what it means. So why? Do you feel like you have a lot of options? I think. I think when I'm least expecting. That's usually when I'm not. Alright everybody we're leaving the restaurant. We're going to go. Of course you're in Chinatown. Oh this one's yours. We're just going to share anyways. I wanted to ask you. How come you didn't get the veggies packed up? The what? You didn't get the veggies packed up. I thought you were going to get it packed up. Really? Oh I went to go pay the check. Oh I thought you were going to tell them when she came to the table. Do you have a type now? A type? Do you have a type? A guy? No in terms of boba. What are we talking about here? It has to be black sugar. Light ice. Black sugar. A guy. Let's just say physically. You're very flexible? No I have my minimums. I have my minimums. I feel like I'm flexible. He cannot be shorter than me. You are 5'8". So sorry 5'7". I barely just made it actually. I know girls love short things but I'm not there. No but honestly everything else is flexible. I do like guys who are ambitious who are passionate about what they do. I feel like I'm the person who takes pride in work. I would like to find someone who is also safe as well. Pride in your work? Are you more flexible on what the work is? Do you see anything as a noble job? A guy where you're like I look up to that job just as a job itself. I'm not saving lives here but I do think for people who are making a difference saving lives or environmentalists I mean yeah you're probably making a change. I report those changes. Do you want to know my type? Sure. I do actually like I this is just a preference I actually like women between the height of 5'4 to 5'9". So I kind of like I'm I guess taller. What's the difference between dating 5'4 versus dating 5'9"? Ergonomically it's just a little bit differently but I think the 5'8, 5'9 girls you know they have the lengthier figure. I like the idea of having taller kids. Yeah and I think if the mom is tall that's really key because I've always seen when the mom is closer to the dad's height the kids can skyrocket potentially. I'm not expecting anything from my future kids though but like Well you should date a tall black athlete then that's the best way to get them in the NBA but no they could if you care about basketball that much. I'm pretty open as long as they are good at it I think and they care or they care about something. I think they have to believe in something they don't necessarily have to believe in their job. Their job can be something that just brings in income and you know as long as it doesn't crush their soul I think that's important. Why do you think we left it off 5 years ago? Because I honestly I wasn't as mature but that doesn't mean that it was still gonna work back then. I think we both weren't looking for anything super serious but if the case is that let's just say hypothetically I was more of the one who let it die I don't know if that's how you remember it I would not have remembered I bet if we look back at the messages we could probably kind of tell. Should we? No. We're fine. Alright guys this is us looking back at the DM's from 5 years ago to see what happened to retrace Oh my goodness. Okay So we'll just go back Oh we were talking about tattoos September 1st 2020 We had seen each other back entirely 5 years ago Okay so we're talking about a potential date We can try beef noodle soup at Whole Foods September 3rd We talked about the NBA a little bit You haven't been watching the last games I think certain players are blah blah blah Oh this is the bubble season So we're talking about the basketball in the bubble and then we talk about tattoos More talk about basketball Some more tattoo talk September 16th 2020 I show you more tattoos Yeah good stuff And then I said hey would you happen to know anybody who's done some cool graphic design for hypes and brands of restaurants Oh This is when I was thinking of starting an Asian pizza shop with David She said I went to college with this guy Thomas He probably doesn't remember I said dope I'm gonna contact them And then you just said you're welcome And that was October 6th 2020 The last message So we never closed anything out We didn't talk about it I think did you feel like No one hit each other up Do you think you met someone after that Do you remember Maybe more interesting I think it's possible I was talking to more than one Maybe How much urge did it take you to pre-message me again How did I feel about it Let's go through my feelings No it didn't take me that long I just saw you and I was like okay I thought about it for like 20 seconds She's cool she's nice I remember it being positive Not really knowing why it ended I was like cool let me just shoot my shot I was prepared for you to reject me I was prepared for you to leave me on scene I was prepared for you to not even read it I was prepared for all that As you should be prepared Whenever you shoot any DM You should be prepared for them to not even read it Yes I was like this is a signal So we're meeting up I got dinner you got the boba This boba was not cheap though So thank you Alright everybody I'm playing flag football With a bunch of other I guess Asian people What's up Deepa? Deepa introduce yourself My name is Deepa I moved to New York in 2024 I work in the real estate industry Met this guy because I was eating tacos And he just put his hot sauce on my tacos That could be a metaphor for other things No literally just No literally just put actual hot sauce on my tacos And we were just playing flag football We just won our first game She can catch she kind of got hands What was it do you mind Being real with me What was it about that you weren't Was it the way I approached it or just in general You weren't very into it So for me I like when Someone takes me on a nice dinner date I'm not I don't really like drinks for the first one Because for me a lot of guys just try to get you drunk Okay that's That's not Andrew You didn't even ask me for drinks But sometimes you know guys ask you for drinks I'm not like a drink girl Because I want to get to know somebody when they're sober first So I usually like You know dinner like a fun activity on the first date That's fair That's fair I don't think I was If I had to be honest that Serious at the time This was like a year and a half ago Though right it was some time ago I'm dating intentionally and serious now But now you are in a relationship How did you meet your guy Met him on Hinge He also Actually the first impression was not great either Continue Actually hit so I met this guy on Hinge His first impression actually wasn't super Great either and I kind of told him You know not really feeling it But willing to give it another shot Kind of told him the things that I'm expecting And then our next Like our actual next date he was like very Very like on point So he kind of pulled it Andrew at first We went to Omakase took me on a really nice dinner date Was like really gentlemanly Super respectful It's great good Good to hear You heard how hard dating is in New York City Why do you think it's So hard to date My take is that it's easy to go on dates It's maybe not as easy To take things seriously and have Long term relationships I guess The type of girls that guys are trying to Date are very they have really high Expectations and some of these guys Aren't used to meeting those types of Expectations like you know being very Gentlemanly opening doors You know paying on the first date I think some guys need A little bit of training a little bit of Gentleman work like I wish I could actually I don't know like teach a class or something Like get a bunch of guys you know treat Them what the ladies are expecting Because most of the time guys obviously Are very visual they like to date these really pretty Girls but they have a lot of Options I think some of these guys Don't know how to meet those girls Expectations because they are really being pursued Got it got it okay That is fair I mean basically You're calling out guys for maybe Not being gentlemanly enough well maybe They're not gentlemanly enough because they're Obviously not being serious maybe when They're being serious they kind of turn it Up and they're like okay let me lock in you know No yeah and I completely believe that That's why if you're a girl And a guy is not being serious Oh we're playing flag football shout out to Mike Jung For setting this up If you're a girl and a guy doesn't take you seriously On the first date he's not into you enough And so you just cut it unless I guess The girl is also open to fun Yeah yeah if she's also open to fun then yeah You know do whatever but if you're talking about actual Relationships right I guess Would you rather have a guy who's looking for fun Just I guess be straight up with it so then you're like Okay cool no thanks boom Or is your like oh that was even Like it was just so awkward no I think like If a guy's looking for fun you need to look for a girl Who's looking for fun so either on their hinge Profile maybe they'll say like Not looking for something serious or when You initially talk to them either Over like phone call or text You just kind of get a gauge for what they're looking For okay all right so if I tell you And you know You kind of know me I mean we've hung out a few times I see you out if I told you that I'm dating Intentionally who what do you think I should look For based off what you know about me That's why you have to be selective I see a lot of guys kind of Complaining about how expensive It is to date but that's Because you're just taking out like any girl who talks To you be selective on the girls that You actually are really into okay All right Everybody I'm here with Candice We're gonna talk about Updates on Dating updates on the dating of course But also food what are you trying to Order again okay so this is what I want I would like to get some Eggplant yes some ched's In Chinese speaking I understand we probably won't be able to finish Everything so I'm waiting to What do you mean we won't finish everything Collaborate and To say what you like okay no no I'm I'm more flexible because I live Next to this restaurant so I can come here More often so if you want to get The what the Yushan ched's in garlic Sauce we can get that okay But what about tofu That's why I was recommending the stuffed Eggplant with Fried tofu but it's stuffed with shrimp Paste and fish which is more of like a dim sum Dish like a dim sum style I get it but you Don't want that I don't want the shrimp paste You don't want the shrimp paste okay so we can work Together so it's we Could we could which they're Not I don't know if they're gonna love this but we could Try to customize or get Just the side of each you can get just The fried tofu and then you get the eggplant and Then we can just eat them together See this is how you get through stuff guys Okay so we'll Get the eggplant and then you just want to get some Like a side like a Small serving of Tofu right yes yes Ideally You want crispy stuffed tofu right here Yeah wait that's stuffed with shrimp paste Okay no not that Let me Just ask him I'll just ask him how we get do you want fried or Like or it doesn't matter Deep fried or steamed tofu Just make the call What do you want steamed tofu Alright we'll just ask Okay okay we can ask What else do you want though I just wanted some protein just being a bro Protein some bro team We get the Crispy garlic chicken Okay Or I mean that's what they're known for here Are you cool with that Or is there another meat you want Again I live next to here So I'm like I want us to order something that makes Both of us happy This is called over communication Now somebody just needs to make A decision alright We're getting the crispy garlic chicken Eggplant and the soup And then figure out if we can get a small order Okay okay So tofu if we can Yes I got here 40 minutes ago and I've been sitting here by myself For a good amount of 30 minutes It was 21 minutes Pretty much 30 I had to take the call New York City Anyways how have you been Andrew Dating wise it's been interesting Oh yeah I saw you Doing this whole dating series How did it go It's good so we did episode 1 and 2 This is episode 3 And I have some updates for everybody I have some updates for everybody I think everybody saw episode 1 I went on a date with Katie Who was the ABG She's a nice girl And then the second episode I went out with Sora I had gone out with 3 times That was the third date Wow that's cute Is it going anywhere Are you dating with any tensions Or what's your deal I think we mutually decided That we weren't A great fit for each other Oh why I'm not seeing either of them We're cool but we just had a Mutual talk so we're not seeing each other anymore It's all good it happens Still friendly but I think It's not It's not romantic So unfortunately sorry for any of the people Who were cheering for us For cheering for me with any of them I think most people saw that Sora was maybe A better fit but I don't know Anyways that's what maybe the comments Were like What have you learned If it didn't go anywhere I thought you started dating more intentions I'm tired of dating Me too Dating is exhausting Especially in New York It's fun but it's also exhausting I've met so many people I've talked to so many people I don't want to Swipe anymore I'm not giving up People are probably making dating More complicated Than it needs to be And that's me too I'm a perpetrator of this You go on a date And if it doesn't fit At least 8 out of 10 Then you can go on and go out with someone else And you're like it's okay This one doesn't really work It's like going into a shoe store And you have all these shoes you can try on And it's like all the shoes Are fairly the same price Or there's some that are more expensive Than others but you get to try them on Trying them on meaning going on a date By the way Not necessarily anything else It doesn't have to be anything else So you're just trying on shoes And you're like This one looks cool but The heel isn't the same Or the color, I wish this panel Of the shoe colorway was different And then you move on to the next one That's essentially dating in New York But do you know what you want though? Say for example This is a hot mic take If you know the exact kind of shoes that you want Maybe you can just go find the shoes That you want You know what I mean? So how do I go about that? Do I go just asking them Hey are you this shoe? Can you fit my feet? That's when the communication happens Why are you still single Candice? Dating in New York I feel like dating in New York is overwhelming As you can tell And that's how you feel too pretty much I feel like being in New York City Is already a relationship There's always another party Another event, another dinner, another phone call I got here 40 minutes ago And you have to take a phone call in the middle of the dinner Which I'm happy for your congrats on the deal We tend to Overschedule ourselves And our schedule can always be super packed We want to be packed You come to the city to have a packed schedule But I wanted to come to the city Also explore Go after my dreams Continue unlocking my potential Develop my talents as well But it doesn't necessarily mean that you can't slow down To enjoy the little things in life I feel one of the problems about New York City Is I love New York City Don't get me wrong, to me it's the city of dreams City of opportunities But the thing is Everyone is running around like crazy all the time Right And of course there's endless swipes You can always continue swiping But the thing is We tend to have the mindset, especially in New York City To think the grass is greener on the other side So you keep swiping You keep looking around You keep thinking, oh there's something better out there Well to me, I feel like Unpopular opinion I think the grass is greener Where you water it The grass is greener where you water it You're saying you can water something and have it grow Into something even more beautiful than when you initially thought I would think I think it's important to understand What you want and what you need in your relationship Before you start looking If you can't spend I used to have this period in my life Where I just felt like I can't sit still I needed to run around all the time I needed to be with people It just simply means subconsciously I didn't want to be alone or by myself Because I wasn't able to I wasn't able to sit with my problems My issues, my thoughts, my feelings My emotions and everything My vulnerabilities And then now I can I'm very comfortable with where I am And I like myself for who I am And if I'm looking for a partner I would definitely want someone Who's reliable To be able to grow together Like when I needed that person That person is going to show up Candice needs somebody to show up guys So show up for Candice, let her know what type of guy you are I showed up today See this is the problem We always wanted to keep our schedule so packed Why don't we date Candice? How come? Because I thought we're besties in law We're besties in law, no? Have you heard of this term? Besties in law You're besties with this person I'm also besties with this person You're my bestie in law Candice, I think I realized something I know so many people I know so many women There's probably 3 or 4 people That I could make it work with I think the key is They'd have to want to Do they want to? They'd have to be on the same page I know so many people There's no way I couldn't make it work with some of them I feel like New York is a great place for dating And also the worst place for dating as well Because you meet so many people So many connections So many good people, so many strong smart people They all have different stories Their own idea of love Not everyone knows where they're trying to go Hey guys, let me know in the comments down below If you think me and Candice should go on a date Thursday night Going out with Big Jack right here He's one of the 6 foot plus Asian guys We're going to a party I'm going to try to film and see if we can meet anybody Or at least I meet people But Jack, you are currently single, right? I'm currently single But I'm also here to support Andrew And hang out with this Andrew You're not here like looking I'm not here looking either But I'm open DL Rooftop Lounge over here Alright, so this is the offline party You gotta put your phone in a bag They're trying to get people off their phones So not a bunch of people just go to the club and are on their phones So I gotta put my phone away But this is the Osmo So I still got permission to film this Alright everybody, we're in the club But I'm here with Sophie I just met Sophie You were talking about dating in New York and why it's a nightmare Why is dating in New York a nightmare? It's terrible It's like when you go into a restaurant And the menu is like 10 pages long And it feels like you have no idea what you're going to order It's better to have fewer people I think there's too many people in New York So you need to shrink your options How do you do that? How can you do that in New York? Go somewhere else Like where? I don't know Jersey? Long Island? Chicago? Maybe not Long Island Yeah, maybe like Boston Or Chicago Also, I think stop Trying to think there's someone Better every single time Just be happy with the person You have, right? Are you currently single? No Oh, you're not single How did you find your person that you're dating? We met in college But it's terrible because she lives in Santa Fe, New Mexico So, long distance is also bad But when it's love, it's love So, unideal, but it's working It's better than being single in New York For sure Damn! Is there any hope for me? Yeah, of course Do you know any singles here that I should talk to? Christina's single, my cousin Oh, Christina's your cousin? Yeah Let's try to talk to Christina Alright, let's go talk to Christina Hi, hey Hi there Hi Christina Sophie, your cousin told me to come chat with you So, she recommended you Highly recommended So sweet, gotta keep it in the fam We like to support each other Nice to meet you You're currently single? I am Have you started dating in New York? How is that going? I just got back on the app I had gone on a few dates With like People that I knew in real life So, I'm getting back on the horse Is dating in New York The nightmare that everybody says it is? I think dating in New York Is what you make it Like anything in life You gotta have a positive outlook And it's gonna inform your experience How do you do it positively? Well, I do a little meditation Before I get on hand I think you have to know what you're looking for I think also Dating really makes you reflect on Like who you are And what's important And what are you looking for? I don't want to waste time with people that I don't think Could lead to something more serious They need to be mature and know what they want Yeah, totally New York is the land of opportunity So, I think it's easy to just You know Get bored and just Oh, next, I'm gonna go to the next person And you're sort of in a perpetual cycle of like Next, next, next And you don't ever make it happen with anyone How do you just commit and settle down in a city Where there's so many options potentially? I'm not the right one to ask about that Because clearly It hasn't gone well for me Oh, did it go bad? Or it was not a great breakup? No, you know what? I feel like now is a great time It's funny I was blonde before and I'm now more brunette So I had to like Rebrand With my relaunch Into the dating app space That's been interesting It's brunette Christine now, not blonde Christine And those give different connotations Different vibes I don't know, you know, for me I also do comedy and I wear a lot of wigs So like different hair color Is not as crazy for me As a male From a man's perspective Do you think it has a different Meaning or connotation? Blonde vs brunette? I think the connotation that blondes are fun In some way Not necessarily serious But if you have blonde hair You're usually outgoing But I think Brunettes are more my thing I relate more to brunettes Let me know if you want to go on a date That's not the right way to ask out Let me rephrase that Would you like to have dinner sometime? She hesitated a while You kind of hesitated I was interested in your reframe Was that something Have you practiced We have had dinner once So I like Yeah So yeah It was lovely Yingji YJY I don't know if they can hear us right now Have you been dating In New York City? Horrible, I've been dating so many people this year Horrible Wait, I have a fun story I've actually talked to the CEO of Hinge On the L train You met the CEO of Hinge on the L train Not on a date How did you feel about the people there The singles there Did you meet anybody? I met you But you've known me Did anybody catch Ashley's eyes I know she's just visiting Did anyone catch your eyes Not really I met Christine I met her cousin Sophie I met you and your cousin You guys are both single Are you single? Why are you single? Because I'm beautiful I've never heard that As a reason Why somebody is single That is hilarious Ashley is more Like an international student So I think it's Really funny I think it's funny being an Asian American Like a guy I could equally date a white American woman And also like An international student You don't think we can? Can you? We're versatile I guess we're all versatile Being an Asian American is funny like that You know what I'm saying Being an Asian American is funny like that Anyways Yup, that's it for episode 3 If I've learned anything this series Is that there are definitely plenty and plenty Of eligible people out there It is not a matter of There's no good women or no good men I mean listen Of my network, I could probably make it work With a handful of them But also they have to want to make it work With me too I think it's this many quote unquote options That we think we have That makes it so tough to lock in And choose another person I mean when you're at a buffet, what do you eat? Wait, you try to taste everything? But what if you like something? Then you want to go back for more But then you're already kind of full So listen, there is no perfect solution Sometimes when you're searching for a place to eat You go through Belly or Yelp or Google And it just seems like the options are endless But if you keep thinking that Then there is no end Literally So Let me know what you think in the comments down below I do want to continue this series Of course I haven't met my match So the series continues But I might have to take a break for a few weeks As I travel Anyways, thank you for watching Until next time, I'm out, peace