you’re single, not dead & I promise you are not running out of time

Hi, I'm Lacy Abberrombi and my dad owns Abbercomi and Fitch. I'm going to make a confession I've never publicly made before. I did have a little something just kind of prepared that I wanted to perform. This one is for the boys with the booming systems. Like everyone will always be like, "How are you fine being single?" And I'm like, "Okay, to be honest with you, like most time when I'm in a relationship, I'm kind of miserable." So men, if you're listening and you're like, "What am I missing?" Start to yearn. It's time to yearn. Top down AC with the coolant systems when you come up in the club PV. I went to church camp and within a week I was dating the pastor's son. Of course. Do you want to know why I leaned in? Was it for a boy? Yeah. Marriage in the church is idolized. Blazing up. Got sacks on deck. Like he's saving up any ill. He real. He might got a You know what I hate the most? Tell me. And you're so unstable. And I need to just like come in and stabilize. Hot bottles. And he got the right. He cold. He dope. He might sell. My mom is on her fourth marriage. My dad was recently divorced out of his fifth. Should we talk about Tik Tok dating advice? He always in the air, but he's never a flying coach. He's a people have this idea that they're running out of time and like that you're racing against something like you're racing against yourself first of all. So just relax. We're literally about to kiss. I swear he always in the air but he's never a flying coach. He's a um thank you so much. Guys, today we are here. Is it conceited to say maybe the crossover of the century? People in my DMs have been saying that they saw us posting. So I think you should say that. I think this is the crossover of the century. We have Lacy and your real last name. Abberrovi. Yeah, it's really Abbercomi. Lacy Abberi. Okay. It's so crazy because this is the girl, the woman, the legend, the comedian really, if you will, Lacy Abberrombie. And also the girl that I almost always tag almost every single day in my outfit photos because I wear Abberrombie literally all the time and every time I go to tag Abberrombie, it pops you first and I actually can't believe I haven't done it yet. Welcome. A lot of people do. Thank you so much for having me. Do you feel like you get better engagement with that last name? I absolutely do. There's no there's no way you don't. But people do ask me a lot like, "Is your real last name Abberham?" And I'm like, "Why would that be my username? Yeah. Why would I put my username as Abbercomi Lacy if my last name wasn't Abbercomi? People say, "Are you a fan?" So, the reason that I asked was because like Kenzie Elizabeth, like Piper is my last name, you know. So, like that's what I was asking more so. No, no, no. But other people are like, "Oh, are you like someone actually DM'd me and said, I thought that your username was abro just cuz you loved Abberrombie. You're a poser." I was like, "I'm a Well, okay. Off this off the record." Um, but on the podcast until grade seven, I lied and I told people my dad owned Abberrombie and Fitch. And if you didn't do that, I would be disappointed. And people believed me. And then I had I had to have a coming clean Hillary Duff moment where I had to tell people I lied. I'm I'm a phony. My dad does not own Abraham. He works at a used car sales dealership. Did this happen after like a moment of conviction? No, I didn't even know the Lord yet. So, I just was like, it was just time for me to come clean because people were like, "It's so weird because you're poor." And I was like, "Oh my gosh, that's so true. It's so we're just really humble. Like we're just it's just a humility." They're like, "You're you're wearing Goodwill." And I was like, "Right. I my Abber Hobie stuff is in a separate closet in my separate house." Said, "My parents don't want me to grow up like that. I should have. You could have wrote that one out for Yeah. I I think somebody clocked me. They were like, "Uh, we actually Googled it. It's a simple Google search, I fear." I was like, "Right." So, no, I don't own Abberrombie and Fitch. My last name is really Abberrombi. It's actually more common of a last name than you think. No, I can imagine that. But how cool would it be if you did own Abberi? Why don't we just tell people I do? Let's restart the lie. Restart it. Okay. I was literally just recording with the queen that is Shannon Ford and we were talking and this comes up on the podcast more often than I'd like to admit, but it is public knowledge and it is on the podcast. I'm always looking to start a rumor in a harmless rumor. Of course, harmless. And this is harmless. Let's start it. Hi, I'm Lacy Abberie and my dad owns Abberrombie and Fitch. Hi guys, welcome back to House guest podcast. Today we have the Abbercrombie Harris. Aerys Harris. Okay, so you ruined the Today we have the Abberroi Aerys. That is Lacy Abberrombi. It's true. I'm the Aerys of Abbercrombie. You're like the Paris Hilton of Abberroi. That's hot. No, that's hot. Yes. Okay. Yeah, that's me. Okay, let's start. I feel so good. I feel so good. I feel really comfortable. I feel incredible. I actually like won. I can't believe that we only recently met. We met yesterday. By the way, like the amount of like I put you in group chats with you. I've done all this. And like when I see those people, they're always like, "Oh my god, how's Lacy?" And I'm like, "So Lacy and I've actually never met weirdly." And they're like, "What?" I'm like, "I know. Isn't that kind of crazy? We should spirits." We I have felt like we've been for like I tell people I'm like, "Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Back Kinsey." And they're like, "Oh." And I'm like, "Oh, well, we never met, but like we are soulmates." No, I can't just I've been doing that for months as well. Serious. I don't care what people think. I don't care what people think. We didn't even need to meet. Who cares? What if we never met? So, we're still friends. Literally, we're best friends. I have a heart by your name in my phone. Literally, we're locked in. We are so locked in. It's not anybody else's business. No. And I'm so glad you feel the same. And I love to move fast. One thing about me brought this up. Like, I'm We're literally about to kiss. I swear. One thing about me, I like to move fast. Like, I'm a when you know, you know girl aspects of my life. Me, too. 100%. You I don't need What are What are we beating around the bush for? Like we could just go straight to the point. And we did. We have. We did. And we did before we met each other. No, when we when we met, we didn't say, "Hi, nice to meet you." We hugged. We just embraced. I think you made fun of me for something probably. And that's how I knew I was in. There's a chance. There's I make fun of everybody. It's a love language. It is a love language. And that and I felt really like seen and seen, heard, loved. Here's the thing. If you can't hang with like the jokes and the making fun, like you can't. I will tell you right now, people in Tennessee get a lot more offended by things than people in Texas. I will I don't know if you picked that up. I think this is the place for me. At first someone said that to me. They're like people are just like not offended but they're like they're just a little bit more sensitive here. Not as easygoing perhaps. Yeah. I wouldn't even say it's easygoing. It's just more so like I don't think like we have similar personality types and we have similar humor and I think this friend was like lovingly warning me because they were like that and people just kind of weren't getting them as much. It wasn't clocking to you. It wasn't talking. But you just have to find your people. Okay. I'm going to find my people and that's fine. And that's totally fine. And that's where we already did We Wait, we found each other. Why would I ever tell you need to find people when we found each other? I am not looking. Okay, I'm good. Yeah, I'm good. Okay, amazing. Did you have a song and a dance number prepared? I did have a little something just kind of prepared that I wanted to just kind of like perform. Okay, could you if you don't mind? I love that. Okay. Okay. This one is for the boys with the booming systems. Top down AC with the coolant systems. When he come up in the club, he'd be blazing up. Got sacks on deck like he's saving up any ill. He might got a deal. He popped bottles and he got the right kind of He cold. He dope. He might sell. He always in the air, but he's never a flying coach. He's a He's a real trip. Um, thank you so much. Appreciate it. Why am I No. No. It was a poem. I just wrote it. I wrote it in the car on the way about you. I That's the nicest thing anyone's ever done for me. Yeah. Or are you crying? You're overwhelmed. Yeah, I am a little bit like I'm tearing up if you guys are watching on YouTube. Well, and just so everybody who's watching and listening knows, like Kinsey didn't know that I prepared that for her. I told her right before we started recording like I did prepare like kind of a song number for you if you want me to do it. And she was like if you're open to it. So it's her first time. Yeah. And one thing about me is I love a song written about me. Good or bad. And by the way there's both. There's also both. I fully dated people just because they wrote songs about me. Good and bad. I'll take it. I like the bad ones too. All press is good press. All press is good press. Any song about me I'm into. I fly with it. You know what? One year I'm going to make a confession I've never publicly made before. Thank you. One year. It was many years ago like maybe 10. Maybe 10. Maybe 11. I was I did date um a singer songwriter and he was a really talented guy. So I listen to his music. We have It's like for the lore and he wrote a song about me and I will never forget my Spotify wrapped. It was number one clocking it. It was in my top five. I was humiliated. I was like well now I can't share my I literally had to say I can't share my Spotify wrapped. And you know why I couldn't share it? Because I had listened to the song about me 20,000 times. So you literally never could. Thank you so much for writing that. If you're listening now, could you send that to me after? Yeah, I'm going to You'll actually You will actually really enjoy it. Unfortunately, my Spotify rap is going to be That's going to be That's going to be your number three song. Mhm. I've got one that I'll do. Yeah, I love that. Yeah, we can exchange. I just think the lore on like you've got to go through your singer songwriter phase and if you don't, I don't think you have lived. Agreed. Because it's like there's something just so moody. It's like, why are you so moody and like everything is so serious and you're so unstable and I love and I'm like and I need to just like come in and stabilize you. I need us to be like I need us to sew us together just for a couple months. A couple of months a couple months then we're going to depart um inevitably and then you will write an album and you're welcome for that. And it's going to be a catastrophic ending. It's going to be a very good album though and they've never they've never ended not catastrophically and I don't I don't think that's on us. I think that's more on that. It's a moody thing. It's a moody thing. Have you ever seen um When a Star Was Born? Of course. Okay. So, it's kind of like that. Like, it's just like a moody vibe. Like, and I love a moody. Yes. How do you feel about a year? I already know how you feel about a year. You know, I can I just know I can I can sniff you. Here's what I want to tell you. In recent days, I had a man say to me that he yearns to pray with me in the mornings. Oh wow. I said, "Okay, I will marry you." Sure. Yes. So, you love I love your and I think we need to bring it back. There's not enough yearers in the world. So, men, if you're listening and you're like, "What am I missing?" Start to yearn. It's time to yearn. I had this realization that I made over the summer, okay? That I've actually always been a girl who loves a uriner. Because I one thing about me is that most people that I have dated, I shouldn't have dated. Number one. And number two. Amen. The only reason I dated them was because we were friends and they took a really long time trying to get me to date them. So after a year, two, three, I was like, "Wait, I love this. You've pursued me." I needed them to put in their time and then finally I was like, "Oh, I'm into it." And I'm talking people like if you saw this, the rolodex of men, you would be like, "Wow, that's really interesting." But it's because they were yearners. I love a year. And I hadn't really put a name to it. And I would always just say, you know, I just get too close to friends and then it just becomes something more. No, what it is is I've always loved a year er now. Now I don't. I need someone who's like the second I meet you, I'm in love with you. We're getting married and that's it. And like that has just worked out. That's really boded very well for me. Like that is way more my type now. But like in recent years, I do love a year and I love that trope, you know? I mean obviously Conrad like any book that I read, I love a year. I understand them. I get them. I I will say so like whenever I was in grade I guess I was a senior senior I I was I was dating a boy in high school and he was a big year. Well, okay, let me rephrase. We didn't date because he was yearning for me for 9 months. Long enough to carry. That is the hard thing about loving a year is that you're probably never going to date them. I'm like, I don't really know if I want to date you, but I want to see. And he would he would And how could you? They're too busy yearning. Exactly. He would pick me up from school. He would drive really far, like 30 minutes to pick me up from school. And he would have a new gift for me every time he picked me up. Yeah. One time it was a Vera Bradley satchel. Oh, one time it was a Juicy Couture watch. Oh my god, what happened to him? Uh, he cheated on me. Yeah, that'll do. As one sometimes would. Yeah. But I do I do I think that kind of set me up for like, okay, I just if a man doesn't yearn for 9 months, like do I totally really even? But also, if he yearns for 9 months, does he really even mean it? Because does he really want to be with you? In the end, we see what happened. You know what's interesting too, and it's a really good point that someone brought up to me once, actually, no, they didn't. I read it in a book. I actually did read it in a book. It wasn't on a Tik Tok. Seriously, I really did read it. I swear to God, this is like one of the few times I can say that it actually did happen. Um, and it was this like dating book and she was explaining how you I think it was like maybe the type of dater you are or whatever. And she's talking about essentially like what I was like you have to try out. You always have to try out, right, for two to three business years. Okay. And she was like, "Why would you ever want to be with someone like that though? Because the kind of person that you want to be with is not someone that should have to like climb a wall, climb a ladder, scale a building, do that, because then that means they were never good for you to begin with because like why wouldn't you have just been with them?" And I was like, you know, I think that really did solve my issue personally. With that being said, um I I don't think that's a blanket statement. I I am team Conrad like there's so many things where I'm like no but that she did have a good point just because I wasn't I wasn't look this is the problem is that the we were not right for each other to begin with right and we were I don't want to say I'm saying we because I don't want to speak poorly of them totally and I'll leave it at that and leave it at that and I could say poorly of myself as well to Oh me too. I wouldn't not poorly of you of me never of you. Never of you worse. Yeah. I was thinking like maybe um I don't know if you like have ever experienced this in a church setting where people are like that's good. That's good. Have I ever experienced that? I have PTSD from that. Amen. That's good. I was thinking I'll do that on this episode. Oh, like while you're talking and say that's good. Yes. Cuz all girls are going to get it. Yes. I just want to let you know there are certain things from like church stuff that like actually you know what I hate the most. Tell me when everyone starts to act the same. So much so that they start to text the same and they like paragraph text the same, say the same like five buzzwords. It's like crushing it, best day ever, like all that stuff. And they just talk all the same always. And I never did that. And then I would get in trouble cuz I was in a group chat and I wasn't texting like them. And I'm like, I'm not in a group chat. I'm a cult. That's I have never experienced that. You're so lucky. You're I'm so sorry you have that experience. I've never It would drive you up a wall. No, because I'm super individ. I can't I can't be like the rest. I have to break the mold. I'm wearing cargo pants and like a flowy top. Who does that? Me. Me. I'm inventing it. No, I invented everything. You did. And I s That's good. That's good. That's good. Amen. Okay. So, should we just like get into our choice of topic today? Only if you want. What do you think the listeners want? We got to give them I think the listeners are going to love this. I really I feel like they are the listeners right now are so locked in that they're like they would they would listen no matter what the topic is. This is the collab of the century. This is the collab of the cent the collab I never knew I needed. Our egos have We should have read our DMs to start this off. I know cuz it was really good ego boost and I'm glad that you sent yours to me cuz I was already experiencing. Two people commented on cuz I put you in my photo dump. I don't know if you saw that. No, I did think obviously and two people commented and Kenzie and Lacy collab duo of the two comments and we're like we are everything. All I need is two comments. Two comments and I'm and I am I am on top of the world. I'm president of the United States. Two comments. I don't need anything I'm the queen of England. I'm good. No, two comments. I'm good. Yeah, you mean it. Absolutely. Okay, so credit where credit's due. This actually was your idea for a topic. But we do want to talk about like I mean I'm not 32, I'm 28, but like being 32 and single because especially in Well, we are in the south and we're also in the south in church world adjacent. Church world adjacent. So, and like between the two of those, like you being single at 32 to me is the most normal thing in the entire world because all of my friends in every other city and honestly a lot of my friends even in Dallas are all single and that's normal. But sometimes I think it's a combination well I'm curious to see what your thoughts are on this. I think it's a combination of like societal pressures around having to do something by a certain age, i.e. like getting married by 30 100%. It's worse in the church world because marriage is seen as like some prize and that you were deemed worthy and if you're not like there's a lot of like really like toxic thinking around it that you're not like doing enough or praying enough therefore like you haven't healed enough therefore you haven't been gifted the spouse you're not ready whatever which is false and then also I think some of it is of course self-induced and like people just like naturally want someone where do you think like the outside pressure comes from cuz I feel like you said the other day that you don't feel pressure. Yeah. I I don't feel I'm like I will I could I could go 10 more years. Yeah. Lord, if you're listening, don't please God, don't make me wait 10 more years. And it's like I say that, but I Yeah, totally. I I could go 10 more years. Do I want to? No, but I could. Um I don't feel the pressure. I don't I used to feel the pressure. Um I remember like dating someone when I was 21 and feeling like I have to get married. This is my last chance. What I look back now, I'm like that was 11 years ago. Praise God I didn't end up with who I thought I wanted to end up with at that time, you know? Um, I don't know where it comes from. I do think that marriage in the church is idolized 100% because we see these pastors and their wives on stage and they have it all together. Unlike the youth pastor who like talks about he's like he's like babe babe stand up stand up babe. Dang, look at that girl. He's like I am like anyone ever like I that is my absolute worst. If a man was on a stage and said, "Babe, stand up." And then proceeded to say, "Smoking hot wife." In the following sentence, I would no longer be the wife. Divorced. At that point, now we're done. And now you're also not the youth pastor anymore cuz you're divorced. So, I don't know how to help. So, now you lost your job. I can't help you. I'm really sorry. But I think there is a pressure because it's idolized because so many people get married so young because in Christianity um and biblically there is a call to wait to have sex until you're married. I think that's a huge part of it. People that's actually I'm so in the church world% I'm thinking like the normal world too but in the church world 1 billion% that is why I don't know how that didn't come up immediately. You're so right. Obviously duh normal world I think it's because like especially like the older generations they got married so young. I mean like your grandparents they're like and I was 14 and she was 12 and you're like you should say that aloud. Yeah. Maybe keep that to yourself. I think maybe um your anniversary differently cuz I we we should definitely know less. Um, but I think there was that that idea like the American dream was sold to us as like you get married and you settle down and you have three kids by 25. Yeah. I'm like, I can't even imagine having three kids at 32. And some of my some of my closest friends have four and five children. I'm like, God bless you. I it couldn't be me. And I think that that is sold to us from such a young age because on TV shows, in movies, everybody is young and married with children. So, we're like looking at all these people and and in the people in our lives and our parents and we're thinking like, "Oh, this is like totally how it's supposed to be." Um, for me, um, my parents got divorced when I was seven months old. So, my mom is on her fourth marriage. My dad was recently divorced out of his fifth. So, if you do the math on that, five, six, seven, eight, that's eight divorces I've sat through. And four and five. Well, my mom's on her fourth marriage. Oh, okay. Got it. Got it. I thought I got you. Okay. GL it. Eight. you're like four and five is nine actually the wrong math there but there's like so I think that um the dysfunction that that you know that obviously causes your view of marriage to be a little skewed but I think that that's not sold to us. I think what's sold to us is like you you you go to college ring by spring, right? You go to high school, you graduate, you go to college, and it's especially in Christian colleges, it's ring by spring because you need to get married so that you can have sex and then you can have babies and then you can be happily married and with multiple children by 25. Yeah. No shade, no tea to anybody who has that. I'm I I like if you are young and married, praise God and and I'm grateful and I'm glad for you because I see people like all of my friends are married. All of my friends are married and in like really healthy, beautiful marriages with beautiful children. And I'm not saying that that's wrong. I'm saying that's great, but it doesn't have to be that way. So, like, there are people listening right now that think they're running out of time. Like, oh gosh, it's I'm I'm 25 and I I haven't met someone. I'm like, I'm I'm probably going to be 35 and not met someone. It's okay. Like, you're not running out of time. Like, time is time is not against you. Like and and me as personally as being a believer in Jesus, like I'm like I I'm not a I'm not subject to time. I'm subject to the author of time who has created it all and knows it all. So I'm like I don't I could wait even longer and I will. Thank you so much. And I will. Good night. I agree. It is not a bad thing. Like to be clear what I think when we the way that we come about it is like I think if we ever come across that we're like oh that was crazy. It's because we're projecting on from like our younger selves if we would have gotten married at those times. It's not that I think other people there's a lot of people who got married young and that was just right for them and it worked out so perfectly and beautifully and like I really actually don't think it's about what time you get married. I think it's about the right person that you marry. So like absolutely I just personally wouldn't have married the right person at a younger age cuz that's not who I was with if I for anyone listening who first off at 25 I remember turning 25 I'm 28 now I remember turning 25 being like oh my god I'm so old and really feeling that way. I was talking to someone who was 25 the other day. I'm like, "You're a baby." Like, and everyone says that to you, but now that I'm in that, like 22, I felt like I knew everything. And I literally could not have known less. If 22-year-old me really ran my life for the rest of my life, I would be the most miserable person in the entire world. And the people that I have dated, like really, no tea, no shade. We were so wrong for each other. And we were together for far too long. And that's who I thought I was going to marry. And we were so serious. And like thank seriously from the bottom of my heart, thank God on both of our behalfs because neither one of us would be happy and I wouldn't have done any of the other things with my life that I wanted and needed to do. Like who you marry isn't the most important decision you'll ever make and I was not equipped to have made the right decision at that time. I was way too even like emotional and I was just like I just made bad calls like with people in general. Like I remember after even going through the breakups, I had always had I always felt like I had like such a strong head on my shoulders. I always really knew what I wanted and I really trusted myself. And after going through some of these breakups, I remember being like, who am I? Because why would I have ever chosen that for myself? Like I remember losing all trust in myself even because I had made such like poor decisions as far as like picking the partners and like not leaving when I should have and allowing them to treat me a certain way, whatever. And it was the best thing that I ever did to leave. And you're not running out of time. But it felt that way when I was going through those breakups. I really was like, I'm never going to meet someone. I should have met someone years ago. I'll never find someone. I had these like very specific things that I wanted in a person. And I remember thinking like, I will never find this. It's impossible. Like you don't understand. Like I'm sure you guys everyone would say what I'm saying to people now. Everyone would say that to me and I be like, but you don't get it because I need this specific thing in a person and that person was that and it's so hard to find and blah blah. And it's like I literally promise you, you're going to find Madden 10 times better. I promise you. But it's so hard to like get through your head. So then people end up settling in life and they end up just follow finding the next person and getting married. And that's why the divorce rates are so high. One of the many reasons. Thank you guys so much for coming. Good night. 50/50. Okay. But seriously, I miss the box of sunshine today. Yeah, you are. And I always have on the right side of the bed. I love it. I'm living. always rec I'm living. No, you actually do. That's the thing. Except whenever your alarm doesn't go off and that's okay. Yeah, that was a tough day. Yeah, that's okay. It's okay. But yeah, I I I do I think that like um I I just remember like in therapy learning about what it mean to like operate out of my wounds. And I was dating out of my 100% for like the whole time I dated. I started dating when I was 14. My first boyfriend I was 14 years old. Like I look back I'm like 14 you were a literal infant. you were a child and had no idea what you wanted or what was good for you or who you were. And so I'm actually very grateful to be single and 32 and know like so much more about myself. I I I've changed like careers and desires and and I've changed so much internally by the grace of God that I would not have been the same person that I was at 22 if I would have married the person I thought I was going to marry at 22 or 21. I just I I I'm such a different person now. So, I'm like I'm grateful that I I got the time to be with the Lord and to learn myself and to know more about me before I find who that person is that I'm going to be with forever if if that is what God has for me. You never know. And I think like in my 20s, my best years so far have been like my single years with my friends. Like everyone will always be like, "How are you fine being single?" And I'm like, "Okay, to be honest with you, like most of the time when I'm in a relationship, I'm kind of miserable." So like if I'm being so for real right now Yeah. Like I I prefer to be single. It's actually for me it's actually kind of I don't feel this way now. Like when I'm in it's not harder to be with this person because like I think I'm with the right person. But like in other relationships it was actually kind of harder. Like I didn't like so many aspects of it. I didn't like how I felt in them. But then being single like I remember like the initial like going through the breakups and going through the heartbreak and like the initial like hump that it takes to like get over it. But then finally when you're on the other side I was like oh my god I'm having the time of my life and I had so much fun. and I had the friendships. I built the life that I wanted to live. You're able to make decisions solely based on you. And I think that that only helps your every other relationship in your life cuz you're doing what you should be doing. Like it was just the best. Like it's just been like the best time. Like I think being single is like so fun. It's so fun. And it's not this death sentence that like the church specifically makes it out to be. Like you're not you're not dead, you're single. You know what I mean? Like that's really what it feels like sometimes. That's how they that's how they handle it. Yeah. And there is there's a I think a very deep um lack in the church of how to communicate with singles and how to serve singles well. Um and I think there's a lot of like emphasis on marriage ministry and there's there's not as much on singleness and that makes you feel isolated. It makes you feel like singleness is like a disease and it's not. It's a it's a gift. And um Paul even describes it that way. And some of the greatest people in the Bible were single. Jesus Christ was single name. Paul was single. just to name a couple like they were single and they were amazing. I don't know if you know if you've heard of them but like I'm like some of the greatest were single and Paul describes singleness as a gift. He says that it's like a you have this undivided attention to one thing and that's the Lord. And I'm like I've been single for five going on six years and these have been the best most transformative years of my life. I've I've been able to focus on what I love and do what I love and work for myself and be with friends and have deep relationships. I can move. I can leave whenever I want. Like I literally just moved to Tennessee. I didn't have to inquire with my husband or kids about that. I just was like, I'm going because this is my like it's my time and I'm going to go. And so it's like when you think about all of the things that singleness actually does for you, it's such an addition to be single. And when I find the right person, they will only they will only like I I won't settle because you'll have to come into my already amazing full life and make it better. like it'll but at whenever you're dating out of like lack and you're dating out of your wounds and you're dating to like you're like I I just really need somebody. It's like you're actually going to end up with the wrong person. When you date from like a fullness perspective of like my life is really really beautiful and good and I love my friends and I love my job and I I love my relationships and I love the way that I spend my time. like it makes it harder to find cuz you're like you're like you have to come in and really like be an addition to my life and I really have to be excited about you and and if I'm not then I'm I'm not settling for that. I won't settle for anything less than a great addition to what my life already is. One of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard is don't I I'm going to butcher it after I said one of the best pieces of advice I've ever heard. I actually that's actually House guest podcast. Thank you so much. Yeah. So, welcome to the show. Um, but basically they were like, "Don't date someone unless they make your already amazing life even more amazing." Like, you have to have that built. And I think I look at like relationships that I was in in my earlier 20s, like even late teens. And I think it's so easy to get so wrapped up in it to where you like lose yourself. But being single, I was able to like develop so many hobbies and I had so much going for me. It was so fun. I have so many hobbies. But like even just like career-wise, I built this life that I loved so much that like the thought of adding I didn't want to date for years because I was one I was had so much peace on my pillow every night when I went to bed. I wasn't thinking about anyone. I wasn't bothered by anyone. Literally, it was like the best time ever. I was just I had nothing to think about. I got to the point where I was listening to Taylor Swift, my favorite artist of all time since I was 8 years old. I couldn't even like think about who I was thinking about during the songs. That is how far away from dating I was. That's the goal. literally didn't have no not a single song that I was listening to was like emotionally charged at one point like she's the reason who who's who the reason who has the tear drops on my guitar there was no one exactly I was single for like four maybe 5 years and it was the best thing ever but it helped me because I think that's I always have you seen my big fat week wedding of course okay you know that how the dad is with Windex course this is what I always say on the podcast this is how I am with hobbies so I really think the cure for like almost everything in life is develop a hobby really I do. And honestly, it's because it builds your life and you learn so much and you like you're you're also building confidence cuz you're like making promises to yourself and keeping them and like showing up. So, I think that like hobbies when you're also like single or in a relationship where you're feeling a little bit too codependent, like you've got to have your own things to then build off of that. But more than that, when you're actually like starting to date, like you won't settle. Because I would like sit on a date and it's like, well, would I rather be like at home needle pointing? Yes. And until one day I didn't I wasn't rather You're not even thinking about the needle point. No, the needle point went out the window. I just forgot that I'd never been that. No, literally was needle point. I was like, "Oh, I actually like this person because like I'm not I I would rather be with them than like do the things that I already like love in my life. Therefore, they're making it better." You know what I mean? Love. And that was like a really good like I would actually think that when I was on dates four or five dates that I went on before, but you know what I mean. Hey, it's a great philosophy. It is a great philosophy. You can come in and make my life better or you can't come in at all. And that's and we live by that. But you have to make your life better to begin with. That that's the big thing. Yeah. If you already have like such a full life like I always say like everything in life can be you you with hobbies. Me a walk like you got to just go for walks and be outside and love your life and read your Kindle. Like my Kindle has really done things for me that no one ever could because I love it so much. So it's like have hobbies, have things that you like, have things that you enjoy, have things that are yours that you don't need another person for. And then when that person comes in, it's like, okay, can you want to make my already full life more full? Let's see. And if they do, let's see, good green light. I know I touched on this earlier, but another thing that's like really important to know, if these people listening to the podcast are in the South or in a church or whatever it is, being 32 and single is like the most normal age in the world. It's so normal. Like, okay, but it's so normal. But every it is the most asked question I get. I need you to know that. So, like, well, also because your following is Christians. My following is Christians. Yes. Because I'm a I'm a big big big big Jesus girl. And um I love the Lord and I I obviously I travel and I speak and I teach the Bible for a living. This is like my world. But that is my number. People ask me that more than they ask me anything else is like, "How are you sing and are you okay?" I'm like, "I'm not sick. I'm just I'm not in a relationship." Like, you know, people just ask all the time and they are it's and they're not no one's ugly about it. I think they're fascinated by it. I'm like, but you shouldn't be. This should be normal. This should it's a like it's not odd to be single and 32. 32 and single. Should I write a book? Yeah, you should. No one no one take that from me. I'm going to trademark it. But like it's so normal. It's just normal. And like Yeah. If you're listening and you're and you're single and you're 40, like it's you're not like people have this idea that they're running out of time and like that you're racing against something like you're racing against yourself first of all. So, just relax. Like, just take a breather. You're not out of time. And like 32 and single is so normal. No, it is like literally the most normal as a 32 and single girl. You're very so normal. Like I literally No, no, you guys are really normal. We were saying this the other day at breakfast, but I remember when I was younger and I was feeling the pressure. I really only felt the pressure like initially right after breakup. So, that's when I was like, I had to find someone. I had this whole plan. I think it's cuz I was trying to fix the plan that I had for my life that like was a horrible plan by the way. like thank god I didn't fix that. But I remember I would like look at other couples or friends of mine or whatever it was and like feel kind of jealous like oh I wish that or of course it works out for them and not me whatever. And not that I would ever want this but just to give you guys context if you're comparing yourself to people. The amount of people that have had really really bad affairs, really bad divorces, are miserable, didn't end up living up to their full potential, are not very happy. Like and of course there's people who are happy and whatever. I don't want that for those people. But I'm just saying it was such a waste that I was sitting there like comparing myself when I had no idea what was actually going on. You know what I mean? And of course I don't want that for any of them. I want them to be happy. But that is the reality a lot of the time when like you're comparing yourself to people, you actually don't know what's going on and it's such wasted energy. And I'm really big I have to say wasted energy because like there's one thing that I will not waste and it's energy. Like I'm crazy about it. So I have to like frame it in that way. But there's so many things that have just I thought I was comparing myself to what I thought was my ideal and that couldn't be further from my ideal. Even looking back at the people who are happy, I'm like that's amazing. I'm so h happy that you're happy, but that's so far from where I wanted my life to go and where it should have gone to begin with. Totally. Just so bad. 100%. 100%. So bad. So bad. So bad. So bad. Yeah. So like it's not a disease. You're not running out of time. You can always You're fine. You're really fine. And we have to desenter men or relationships from our world because if that is the only thing like if that is the center of your universe like you will be chasing your whole life and you'll never be fully satisfied because you have to be like the center for me personally the center of the universe has to be the Lord and then out of the abundance of knowing him comes everything else and I feel like when we we center men or like women or or relationships like all we can think about is getting married it's just like It's so uninteresting. It's so uninteresting. There's nothing interesting. It also makes you make bad decisions. That is like your number one priority and you're just trying to achieve a goal versus like find the right person. You're losing friends. Can we talk about like Oh my god. Yes. I my friends like there have been people in my life in in past years where they get a boyfriend and they disappear. I'm like because that was all you wanted. That was the most interesting thing in your life and now you now you have that and now I'm not. It's like people when we when when relationships and getting married is the center of our universe and it's all we can think about. I just think I think we lose ourselves. I really do. I find it really hard to be very close friends with anyone who's male- centered. It's pretty much next to impossible. Like male-centered in the sense that like they just disappear and they're gone and they lose themselves. Like I actually can't do it. Like I that has been a huge a huge thing in my 20s that I've realized I there's certain friends that like when they come back of course whatever I I everyone makes mistakes everyone does things whatever but overall like I actually I can't do it like may like maybe controversial take but I I can't do it. It is it's very hard it's very hard to be friends with someone or close to people who their whole world revolves around being in a relationship um or being married and that's like all they can think about or talk about because there's so much other things to talk about. Yeah. like chickens. Well, and you know, I love Sorry. Wait, we haven't chili needs to be the That should probably be the We'll work shop the title. Can we go to Chili's immediately as soon as possible on the way? We should have done a mukbang a mukbang mukbang. That would have been except for here's the thing. We can still do that, but like here's the thing is that like I have misophonia. So like I can't listen to people chew. So, I think that like if we chewed with our mouth closed and we didn't talk while we were eating, but I think that kind of defeats the purpose of my vlog because people want to watch it and hear the noises. You could wear headphones. Ooh. But yes, it triple dippers on the way. Triple dippers all around. You know, you get one too. You get one and you get one. Everyone in here triple dippers. No. What is so annoying too, which is ironic cuz this is what we're talking about, but also in my defense, this is what you brought up. So, probably. But I did find it really annoying that that was like the only like I remember like going to dinner be like, "Oh my god, are you dating? What are you doing?" blah blah blah. And it's like I understand their intentions are good, but like I wasn't dating so that's why I was annoyed by it. But right, it was so annoying that that was the only thing to ever be asked about. Same. Like it's it's always it's just always been that way. And I'm like I don't know. I'm not dating. But I'm doing I was just in Forbes last week. Do you not care? Literally I'm like I'm doing so many other things and I'm working all the time. I'm like, I'm building a company and you're still only asking me if I've been going on dates lately, which I also do think it's like, we're all guilty of it. It's just like a fun thing to talk about, whatever. I just like wasn't finding it fun. I clearly was having some sort of projections, right? But I was just bored by the topic. I literally even when I like we would get like dating coaches and things that wanted to come on the podcast at that point and I was like, I'm so uninterested in any of these conversations. Also, should we talk about TikTok dating advice? Absolutely. I don't think I've ever seen anything worse. I don't think I've seen it's it's very um blanket statements all around. All around. And I just think it's interesting for me personally. We're talking about this conversationally. I don't mean this in a way of like listen to this advice, you have to hear this, you have to take this, you have to whatever. It's our thoughts. But when people who are like 50 and like they've never had a successful healthy relationship but at the same time they've had bad ones. So it's like maybe they are able to give I just personally like I am really kind of crazy about like who I listen to in my life and like I want to listen to people like a marriage that I want to be in. You know what I mean? So like I don't want to listen to some random man from some reality show that like gives you bad dating advice that like I know for a fact his relationship is horrible. You know what I mean? Well I think and that's what people take as Bible. No. And that's scary. If you take Tik Tok dating advice as Bible, I want you right now to turn this off and call 911 and touch some grass. Touch grass and call 911 and then call 911 again. Yes. Because I'm really scared for you. But it's also I remember feeling like when I would see the clips and stuff it would be really overwhelming to me and I would feel like claustrophobic almost from the clips and I I I also just think I don't know because I don't know this but I just feel like when you're with the right person like you don't have to play all these like these games and all these things like I don't think it and who what do I know? I'm not married. I do not know but like I hope to God that they're wrong. Yeah. I think there's certain things that are like, "Yeah, obviously." But I think the way that some of it's set up, it's just really overwhelming. It's really exhausting and it's just like we shouldn't be playing cat and mouse. Like, I don't like that. And like maybe that's just a me thing and other people like that, but it's like for me, I don't think that would be the case cuz I don't like that. There's a lot of advice of like um people will just speak like blanket statements and they are they're like they're like 30 and 40 years old and they're on your for you page and they're telling you like you you're texting back too fast or you're you're you got to play the I'm like I'm not playing games. No, sorry. I think I aged out of that at like 18. I you don't you can't there's no games to play. And I love what you said about like I don't like you can't just listen to the advice of anybody about marriage. You have to make sure that you're listening to advice and asking advice from people or admiring or looking up to marriages that you would want to be in. Yeah. Hello. Which like anything in life, I'm like I'm not I'm not going to like some person who's worked corporate their whole life for like advice on f like starting a company because they haven't done that. They have a great skill set in corporate. Like they've done amazing in that, but they don't have experience in that. Why would I do that? Why would someone come to me for advice on like how to play hockey? You know what I mean? They could go to you. I kind of would. They could go to you. Oh, are you going to miss Stars games? True. Yeah. I don't want to talk about it. I'm going to so many this season. Honestly, why did you bring that up? So, why did you have to say that? I'm so sorry. That was kind of low of me. I shouldn't have said that. It's okay. Honestly, I have my Star jersey on under all of this anyway, so whatever. I'm a die hard fan. Ride or die. Go Dallas. You really did lean so in. No, I leaned all the way in. Do you want to know why I leaned in? Was it for a boy? Yeah. Uh on a first date, a man was like, I am really I like love the Dallas so much. Um do you like them? And I was like, "No." And he was like, "You've never" And I was like, "I don't know anything about hockey at all, actually. Thank you so much for asking." Um and so I actually just turned on one. I was like, "I'm just going to watch a game to see like what all the hoopla is about." I was obsessed. I was like obsessed. This has to be my whole personality. I I love it. So it started out I just wanted to see what the game was just in case he brought it up and he was like, "Oh." And when they did it, then I would know the terms. Oh, no. Like my first time watching it, I was like, "This is so much fun." Posted that I was watching it and then the Dallas Stars reached out and they were like, "Do you want tickets?" And I was like, "This is perfect." And then I went to the game. I got you. I went to the game and I was like, "This is actually so fun and the energy." And I was like, "Okay, now hockey. I love hockey." So now I'm a hockey girl. So here's the thing about me. I've always known that I love hockey, but you want to know why? Because I love a fight. Okay. Me, too. And that's why I love hockey. It's And it's also really fast, so it's like fun to go to the games. I like to bundle up. It's like my kind of outfit like Oh, I love it. There's so many good things about hockey. Hockey is downstairs. You're listening. Yeah, you're listening. We could be on ice next week. We're available. We house guest on ice. We could. It's you on the Zamboni. We should be No, we like turn into ice princess. Let's do that. We become like Have you ever seen Have you you've seen the ice girls? We could just be honorary ice girls. Absolutely. Honesty and Lacy. We could definitely do mini mic. You'd fly in. We could Oh, I'd fly. Girl, I'd be on the I would fly I would fly in so fast. You would blink and I would be there because I love the Dallas so much before the emails even responded to. No, I'm there. I'm I'm in your house. We're on the ice 100%. Anyways, yeah, I love the Dallas. Yeah. No, I'm like kind of obsessed with that. No, it's so fun. Wow. Okay. Well, you're in a new era. I'm in a new era. You're in your Tennessee era. And we are in Tennessee currently. Yeah. How are you feeling so far? I mean, it's kind of crazy. It's it's a big jump from Dallas to Tennessee. Um but I love it here so much. I still haven't learned like all the things, you know, obviously I've been here for two weeks, but um like today was the first time I've had my favorite Tennessee coffee. Like I had it for the first time today. Do the Barcelona from Dose. So it's just like black cold brew and then on top they put their salted like homemade salted whipped cream and it's like this like foamy whipped and you obviously mix it. It's so thick that you mix it into your drink. my mouth watering at the thought. Where is this place? There's one in East. Oh yeah, girl. I'll take you there. It's so good. The Barcelona. It's just it's it's the perfect amount of sweet cuz it's not super super sweet cuz the coffee is just black and then it's the that it's perfect. So I had that for the first time today. But I I I love living not in Texas cuz I've grown I was born and raised in Texas. Like lived there my whole life. Where specifically? So thank you so much for asking. Remember how I kind of when I talked about eight divorces? So I moved around more than you could ever imagine. I lived in 17 houses by the time I was 18. Okay. Yeah, that sounds something that sounds like similar to me. Probably the same. Probably around the same. So, I didn't really like born and raised anywhere. I was born in Mosquets. Okay. Um the hospital I was born in does not exist anymore. It burned down. Oh. So, there is no record of that. I'm not really sure. I'd have to kind of Google it, but I'm kind of interested to see what happened there. Born in Mosquite and then I was raised kind of Garland, Mosquite, Dallas, Allen, like but fifth grade until I graduated. Rock Wall, Texas. Go Hawks. Obsessed. It was a Heath Hawk. We were so close. So, I know it it really is odd. It's kind of sickening. It's a little sad. It is a little But we would have torn up the town if we knew each other any sooner. So, it is probably for the best. It's I actually think it's for the best that we met after I moved from Dallas because I do think I think the collab would have gone a little too crazy. A little too crazy. A just matching tattoos. A little too. A joint show. I a joint show. I think the joint show would have really happened and I think people would be like this is such a crossover we didn't expect and we would be like why didn't you expect it you needed to know that it was coming it was on the way and now we're here. I had so many people like that I knew that replied to my story when you posted me and I reposted it. They were like you guys would know each other and I was like yeah it's it's something that should be expected but it isn't. And that's why I like it. That's why I like it. I like something unexpected. I like people to be like what are y'all doing exactly? You have to listen to find out. Have you seen Nathan for you before? Who? Oh my god. It's just my favorite show that's ever existed. And I need you to watch it because I know that you would find it so funny. Watch the double episode. Uh Hulu, I think. Okay. It's a Comedy Central show. Nathan Fielder. He's so funny. He goes in to businesses, but he just makes them worse, but he acts like he's going to like save these failing businesses, but he just makes them so much worse. Absolutely. I'm going to watch. It's so good. It's literally the best show. It's like All My Cousins on my favorite show. Like I'm going to watch it. It's actually you have to. Sorry. I have plans now. Yeah. I I actually Oh, I wish I could. I have plans. Wish I could. I won't be. I won't be doing that. I have to watch Comedy Central. How did you start on TikTok? Funny story. Thank you so much for asking. I had this character living inside of my heart and her name is Jezy Beth and it's short for Jezebel Bashiba. And I she's been in my heart since like probably 2016. Um and basically what I would do is like she would just come out randomly in person. I never videoed her until Tik Tok. She would come out in person. My friends would ask me for like dating advice. I'll never forget one time a girl asked me for dating advice. She had a crush on a guy named Manny. His name was literally Manny. And I was like, "This is a perfect sermon." So, I literally just picked up the nearest by book and put my finger in it. Like, it was a Bible. And then I just started preaching a whole sermon on how he was a man of God. And I was like, Jezie Beth could really, really get it. And I just like Jezy Beth like the name came out when I was just introducing myself one time. It just came out naturally. I was like, that came out a little too easily. And so Tik Tok I I just I remember being during co everybody was downloading Tik Tok just to scroll. I intended fully on just scrolling like whatever I'll just see what this is about. You didn't want to be a star. I never wanted the fame or the fortune. It just came to me. [Laughter] I never I did not I remember making my first video. I I could literally probably quote the entire first video to you cuz I remember it so well. And I remember posting and and being like about to go to sleep, posting it right before bed and saying, "If this is not viral by the morning, I'm going to be so embarrassed." So devastated because I'm 20. I was like 25, 26. I'm like, "This is going to be so embarrassing." And lo and behold, viral overnight overnight sensation. And then the people were like, "Please do more of these." And I was like, "I guess I could dabble." And then I just started. I mean, my hair was so short and so side parted that you wouldn't even recognize me. But Jazzy Beth has lived on now since 2020. It is now 2025. And she is an internet sensation. You know her, you love her. You hate that you love her, but you have to. You have to. So, Jez Beth is, for people listening that are like, "What are you talking about?" Jessie Beth is the girl who pulls you aside in the church lobby and she's like, "Hey girl, I love you so much. Miss you so much. Love you. Hey, your shoulders are showing and my husband Jimmy is really distracted by your shoulders. Could you throw on maybe a cardigan or six turtleneck would be better. Love you so much. Seriously, praying for you though, girl. Like Jessie Beth, she has something to say about everything and she's the worst person you've ever encountered. She she goes into the bathroom and like the worship leader is in the bathroom and she tries to get like scouted by the worship team. She's like, "Holy, there is no one like you." Like just trying just hoping to get a BGV moment on stage. If you've if you've had so much has spent 30 minutes in a church, you know one of them. And if you don't know one of them, you are her. Congratulations. This is your time to shine. That is so true. Jezy Beth. And also, she does do women's conferences. So, she is also a conference speaker. And she has like anything that has happened ever in pop culture, Jezy Beth has a sermon for it. Um, I remember like Spotify rap vibes and when it came out I was like all of you are sharing your Spotify rap when you should be worried about being Spotify wrapped in the arms of Jesus or like about the like baby in the manger. He was wrapped in and like Jesse just has a sermon for everything. I don't know how she does it but she's always ready and she's actually Jesse has gone kind of MIA. I don't know if you've noticed. I actually have. She hasn't been she hasn't posted in in in actually months. It's been a long like almost six months. But I have a note section, a running note in my phone of all of the pop culture things that have happened since Jezi has been gone that she needs to address like Leoooos. Like, you know, she needs to be on there talking about the Le Boooos. Like, I'm not really, you know what I mean? Taylor Swift announcing her new album. Like, Jezie needs to say like, why were you not this excited when Jesus rose from the grave? Stuff like that. You know what I mean? So, Jezie, she needs to make a comeback and she needs to address all the things that she's missed. Something about me is that there's really nothing better than like church humor to me. like in this like niche world that you're in and it, you know, some of it is you're laughing with some you're laughing at, okay? But like it and that's really, you know, life, but like it is so funny to me. Like when I was first seeing these videos and there's nothing like being from Texas and growing up at church camp and then a Jezy Beth video coming across your for you page and you just at summer camp. Jezy at summer camp. Absolutely. Like it's just so good. My favorite thing ever was summer camp growing up. I would give anything. I talk about this actually probably more than I should, especially on the podcast. I would give anything to go back to to summer camp. We should do an adult one. I would love that. Make it fun though. I always had a camp boyfriend or a camp crush that would become my camp boyfriend. But, you know, I went to church camp. I'm like, "Oh, I'm doing this whole thing." And within a week, I was dating the pastor's son, of course. And that says everything you need to know about me. The intention and motive was there, of course. And we were together for a very long time. I mean, great guy, actually. He's probably the best one I ever dated. It just went downhill from there. Yeah. Wherever he is, I hope he's listening. I hope he's I know. Great guy. But no, church camp was great, but Jazzy Beth is the church camp counselor that you're like, why? Mhm. Why? Why? It's her whole personality. There's no her whole personality is being a camp counselor. That's who Jazzi is. I think some of my best work was my summer camp videos. I kind of need to tap back into that. Like Jessie Beth wakes you up, rise and shine and give God the glory glory. And she has like war paint on her face, French braids done, everybody else's French braids cuz she was braiding everyone's hair all night. Like Jesse's that girl. You know what I think it does though in an actual helpful tangible way is I like Jezybath makes you hate those people less. Good. You know what I mean? Like it actually cuz you're like it's funny. You're humanizing them and it's like you are the most annoying person that's ever walked this earth but there's something about you that you just got to love. I love something about you. I'm not sure what it is, but there is something about you that I cannot help it. And I cannot put my finger on it for the life of really cannot name it. I cannot name it. I cannot figure this one out. But there is something there. There's something in there. I cannot name it, but there is something. Um, something that I would like to circle back on. Sure. Is the whole like you are not behind in life situation and you know all of those things. And I will say like there's so many things in my life that I look back on. Yeah. things that I feel like that have come to fruition even just like things in the past like six months year that I will look back on I'm like these are things that I actually like prayed for eight years ago that I like I forgot that I even did but it'll be like in the moment something will happen and I'm like why does this feel kind of familiar and then I'm like oh my gosh I remember I wanted this and I think just because something doesn't h hasn't happened yet like doesn't mean it will I have been in about the worst year and a half of my life ever past 20 months of my life the worst time ever And like I feel like I'm just kind of getting to like the other side of feel like a little bit out of fight or flight, I would say. Like I'm I don't feel like amazing, but I feel like I'm out of fight or flight. I'm like happy. Like there's like good things happening. And for so long, I was in such a low place where I just felt like it was not possible. Nothing good was going to happen to me. I was in this for me, I think was specifically with actually in every area of my life, I felt this way, but like I also think in dating like there's I've had so many worst case scenarios happen. So, it's easy for me to believe that like I I it was really hard for me to believe that like the good things would happen. Like I had a hard time being like I will find someone that I'm so in love with and happy. I will, you know, this will work out for me in business. I will live in this house that I want to live whatever. Like not even in a materialistic way, just in like a this home that I want to create. I had such a hard time believing that it was actually going to happen. Even though I had markers of my life where like I had prayed for something and it happened and I could see the good things happening. I think I was just in such a low place. And I think sometimes if you're listening to this and you're experiencing like heartbreak, you feel similarly like you feel like there's no way I'll ever get over this person. You will. There's no way I'll ever be happy again. You will. There's no way I will ever like not miss them or whatever. You won't. I promise you or you won't miss them. Be fine. You won't. You'll always miss them. You'll always miss them. Sorry. Sorry, girl. Um, no. But like really, it's so difficult because it is one of those things that you have to just experience, I think, at the end of the day. Like you could always have hope, but like you have to actually experience it to be like, "Wow, it really does get better." But I feel like I was in such a long period of time like that wasn't happening. And now that I'm in a period where like I'm like, "Wow, they weren't kidding." Like the things that people were telling me were true. They're true. And like it the pain doesn't last forever. I remember every breakup like I look back now and I'm like it's almost comical cuz I just remember being like I will never be okay. I'll never find someone better. I'm like, "Baby, girl, is not that great girl." Like I I won't go into specifics, but I I remember like that feeling and that feeling of just like devastation, like I could even even not even outside of relationship breakups, like just just life being hard, like feeling like it'll never get better. And then one day you wake up and you're like, "Wait, I'm on the other I'm living in an answered prayer." Which we talked about at Coffee, too. Like you like wake up and you're like, "Oh, wait." Like it does get better. And unfortunately, the only thing that takes is time. like time really. You just have to kind of give it time. And it's not an overnight thing. No. Because there's so many things where one day I feel like so many times that like a prayer has been answered. It's never when I'm watching for it. It's never when I'm like sitting there like waiting for it to happen. It happens at a timing that I wouldn't have preferred, but of course a better time of course. But it does end up happening. And it it's more so like I felt like I feel like a lot of the time it's like I needed to be in a different place for that to even make sense. And like once you get to the different place you're like less you're not sitting there like begging God for this as much and then it happens like and you don't even like realize that it's happening and it's the best and like it will happen but like as someone who's literally sat on this podcast and complained for the past 2 years I feel like it's important to say it's important to say and the people needed you to say it. The people the people's princess right here and the people needed us to come on this podcast. The people need they were comments on your Instagram post that we've made our entire personality. They and watch them not even tune in. They won't even listen. Collab of the century. Not for me though. Like we maybe maybe for you guys. If you guys are listening, please leave a comment below cuz we need to know. We just want to know. We just want to know like did you guys care about this? Did you care about this or no? This collaboration of this collaboration of the century that you said it was the Did you care about it? Yeah. Cuz that wasn't actually our words. We took the words right out of your mouth and we held on to them. We tattooed them on our body. often we serious as a whole thing. We have a whole like matching shirts. It's everything. Literally amazing. Okay. Well, this has been so fabulous. I've had I've had a great time. I I would do this again. The Oh, please please do if you ever need me. I would do this again like same time next week. Yeah, I'm ready. Amazing. Well, we have to do a live podcast from American Airlines during a Stars game on in the middle and I want people I want us to be like right by the glass and then in the background all you see is them fighting. Can you imagine? I really need that. I love that. We're doing that. would put it on the calendar. Absolutely. Send me a Google invite. Oh, 100%. You know, I'm such a good That is my love language. I love it. Yeah, I love it. Um that and then uh Chili's. Me too. Did you know their headquarters is the DOS? Didn't know that. Yeah, they've invited everyone else in besides me. No. And that's so that's something we haven't talked about enough. They um asked me for my address, never sent me anything. Yeah, that happened to me too. Okay. Really? Yeah. They like do stuff with Dom all the time and I'm like I'm pretty sure I actually know for a fact I'm the one who I don't know if Chili's knows this if they're listening but I have a Chili Pepper tattooed on my leg and now is the best time to bring that up. Like I want you guys to know that you you think you think that I'm not a Chili's fan until you see the logo is tattooed permanently on my body. Did you get the Toba's boots? No, I didn't. They didn't they didn't send them. Yeah, it's my other favorite brand. Yeah, they didn't send the boots. Um they sent them to Harry Jy. I'm like has Harry Jy ever been into a is Rob. I'm like, you guys, all of you, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. It's performative. You performatively like chili. I have it tattooed on my body. Let's fight. I don't know. No. And they are being performative. Don't be performative with me about chili. Whenever I literally have a picture of me crying in a chili in 2011 drinking a root beer. Literally, I grew up at Chili's like growing like to family dinner. If we went to Chili, that was like a nice dinner. That's what I'm saying. People are always like, "What is it about Chili?" I'm like, "This is America's favorite pastime. What do you mean?" What do you mean? What? And also, the food is amazing. It's amazing. It is amazing. I once dated this man for far too long because we would go at Tuesdays at 11:00 a.m. every week. Like we were going to Chili's with like all the like geriatric people and we get the whole thing. No. Well, yes. I mean Yes. Yes. But um yeah, that's why we dated I think. And I was in love with that man. I think I would also date somebody for Chili. So it's okay. And it was like so fun. How could you not fall in love at Chili? You can't you and so that's why I'm I'm saving Chili for marriage. Guys, guys, guys see that like Chili is my personality online cuz I'm very open about my relationship with Chili's and they're like, "Can we go to Chili's?" I'm like, "No, we cannot go to Chili's unless you have a ring on my finger. We can go to Chili's then. I'm not taking you to I'm not taking you to my favorite spot for you to ruin my Chili's experience." Absolutely not. We're not going to Chili's. We can't risk that. I just saw Dolly the Musical, the preview show at Oh my god, it was everything. And when Carl Dean gets down on one knee to propose to Dolly, he says, "Will you and your career marry me?" And that's what a man's gonna have to do for you and Chili. He's gonna say, "Will you and Chili's marry me?" And I'll have to inquire with I don't know. I don't know if you know, my 32nd birthday party was Chili's themed. So, we had a we had triple dippers chip obviously chili, chips, and salsa. I was wearing all red. That's when I debuted my tattoo. I'd gotten it on my birthday morning, my Chili's tattoo. And people think that's weird, but I'm like I think it's weirder to not love something. I agree. I think it's sad when you don't love something. I think it's actually cool to care. I think it's cool to care. It's cool to love chilies. And if you don't love chili, I don't know that we can really if people look whenever people are like, "What do you want to eat?" And I'm like, "Chili." If they look at me funny or a little sideways, I'm taking you off of my top eight on MySpace. I can't We can't be friends. No, we can't. Cuz you don't get me and I don't get you. Um my friend Harrison Walls and I we're going to do a dinner party series where we're doing all the chain restaurants. So like Chili Cheese Factory, all things coordinate that one. Invite invite me. I I I have a chili pepper dress in my closet waiting to be worn. Amazing. So, I'll I'll come I'll come themed. Okay. And the the the chili pepper tattoo will be Well, and you know how I feel about a theme and you know how I feel about someone going all out. I need I don't nothing halfway. Nothing halfway. Don't come at us with halfway energy. No, I can't do anything halfway. I've never been able to do that in my life. We started this podcast off that way and it feels appropriate that we're discussing it again. And this just feels right because we circled all the way back to no halfway. Literally amazing. Well, love you so much. Thank you for coming on the podcast. Where can they find you? Um, you can find me Instagram, Tik Tok, basically anywhere and everywhere under the um name Abberrombie Lacy, which is my real last name, but my dad does not own it. Do you have Abberrombie first so that people tag you on? I am I'm always hoping that people are trying to tag their like to know it Abbercomi and they tag me instead. It happens all the time. I feel like your mentions have to be crazy and I love it. Love that and I love all your Abbercomi outfits. I love this is an Abbercomi dress I wore for you. You look great. Thank you. You're welcome. Tell your dad I said thanks.