📚心理成長｜自我認知 ｜情緒洞察 ｜生活哲學 真愛的標識

人類有著非常複雜的食慾 不僅是自然科學、神祕學、物理學 也有幾乎無法解釋的書籍、藝術作品 以及無端端的戲劇作品 這些都可能是宇宙最主要的謎題 以及我們永遠無法解釋的存在 但是 我們對複雜的慷慨 能夠達到最痛苦、耗時又殘忍的 在一個特定的領域 就是關係 在這裡,我們會遇到不可思議和困難的人 展現出極端的耐心 經常維持超過一連串苦難的年代 為了我們可以稱之為 複雜的情況 這些複雜性可能來自於 一些跟隨的動態 一位親愛的夥伴 他想要負責任 也許有一天會負責任 但還不一定 因為某些因素 也許不完全是因為某些心理恐懼 也許不完全 或至少不具有某些重要的關鍵 他們可能需要空間、自由 或者他們稱之為 探索的機會 雖然我們還不清楚 但我們問過他們很多次 然後 一位夥伴 他們有很多誤解 我們可能做得不對 但沒有意義 我們對他們有罪嗎 我們太需要他們嗎 我們對他們想法的耐心 表現太少嗎 也許他們告訴我們 我們想要太多 也許他們吩咐我們 我們在不合理的情況下 我們可能從來沒有感到 我們對自己造成更多的怪異或傷害 到我們特別的愛人 所有這些 社會有時候告訴我們 這只是愛 沒有關係是容易的 No human is simple. Everything needs hard work. It's precisely because all this is so often very true, we can admit to notice when, on other occasions, it has in any way ceased to be so, when certain sensible mantras about effort have subtly and dangerously turned into excuses for patience with people entirely unsuited to the business of mutual love. To dampen some of our risky enthusiasm for emotional complexity, we might remind ourselves of a broad principle operating in relationships that we can term grandly the rule of simplicity. This rule states that in two people who are adequately mature, who have what it takes to function emotionally, who have feasible propositions, love will, overall, taken with perspective, be simple. Yes, there will be certain difficult conversations to be had every now and then, a few tricky moments and a constant requirement for practical effort. But, in essence, there will be a simplicity at play because of a few fundamentals at the heart of the union. They know how to and want to love us. And we know how to and want to love them. That's why they will pretty much always show up on time, answer text messages promptly, communicate clearly, be proud of us, tell their friends about us and leave us feeling wanted, calm, sure of our position and able to go to bed without checking our phones once more at a sensible hour. Anything less is, we might generalise, a strong indication of something else. Quite what may be a matter for speculation lasting several centuries. It could be a childhood trauma, a mental condition, a consequence of our own misfounded appetites or the result of a tricky bond with a mother or father. But maybe we don't in the end need to know precisely what's at work. Maybe we can, to follow the rule of simplicity, just read the complexity as an indication that we just shouldn't be here. It might be time to stop glorifying questions. Where were they? What do they mean? When will they call? If they love us, we will know it. If they want to be there, they will show up. There is only so complicated a relationship ever needs to be. When it's viable, love is, all told, fairly obvious and very easy. If we find ourselves in a union in which we're up all night writing journal entries or peering through a telescope at the latest ambiguous signal, it might be nothing more or less than proof that we have outrun the patience that we should fairly be exhibiting towards any human being Or to follow our rule of simplicity and to speak more directly, we may just need to get out now.