2020 December Democratic Debate in Los Angeles | The Daily Show

We are coming to you live, people! Live! 100% live. And I'll prove it. I made this guacamole when the debate started, and look, now it's totally brown. Now, between the debates and the impeachment of the president, it has been a wild couple of days in American politics, and we're gonna cover both tonight. But let's start with the final debate of 2019, which was hosted by PBS and Politico and taped in front of a moving background that looked like the boring parts of The Matrix. Now, tonight's debate was the smallest one yet, with only seven candidates on the stage. It was also the whitest debate yet. No Julian Castro, no Kamala Harris, no Cory Booker. Basically, Democratic debates are like horror movies. They start out with a very diverse cast of characters, and then all the black people are quietly and quickly killed off. And that was actually one of the topics of tonight's debate. Why isn't the Democratic field more diverse and more representative of its base? Former President Obama said this week, when asked who should be running countries, that if women were in charge, you'd see a significant improvement on just about everything. He also said, quote, if you look at the world and look at the problems, it's usually old people, usually old men, not getting out of the way. Senator Sanders, you are the oldest candidate on stage this evening. And I'm white as well. Old. Did Bernie just yell, and I'm white? You can't just say that, Bernie. That's Trump's campaign slogan. What are you doing? That came off so weird, getting asked about being old, and then all of a sudden you're like, and I'm white as well. It almost makes it worse. It's like your wife is shitting on you for cheating, and you cut in like, and it was with your sister. I also love how Obama just made an off-the-cuff comment at an event, and now it's become a real thing at the debates. He said he thinks that women would make better leaders and should be president, and now all the candidates have to deal with the ---- that he's just thrown in. I feel like Obama's just gonna start messing with the campaigns. Like, tomorrow he'll be like, uh, if you ask me, uh, the best president, uh, will be someone without a nose. He'll be like, uh... Now, to be fair, the stage wasn't completely white tonight, thanks to Andrew Yang being there. So basically it was a bunch of white people and then one Asian guy, like an adult reboot of The Goonies. And Andrew Yang had a really insightful take on why there weren't more people of color up on that stage. The average net worth of a black household's only ten percent out of a white household. For Latinos, it's 12%. And the question is, why am I the lone candidate of color on this stage? Fewer than five percent of Americans donate to political campaigns. You know what you need to donate to political campaigns? Disposable income. Yeah. Andrew Yang makes a really, really great point. Think about it. To make it onto the debate stage, tonight's debate stage, candidates were required to have 200,000 donors. But if a candidate has supporters who can't afford to make donations, if they don't have disposable income, then that candidate can never make it to the stage. Yeah, because money talks in America. So if you don't have money, you can't talk. All right? Think about it. Think about it. The whole issue around political donations in America is backwards. Candidates say to voters, give me money and I'll make your life better. And voters are like, yo, man, if I had money, I wouldn't need you to make my life better. And one of the... one of the big advantages President Trump has right now is that the economy is doing extremely well. So for tonight's candidates, the challenge was explaining to voters why all that glitters is not gold. This economy is not working for most of us. For the middle class and... I know you're only ever supposed to say middle class and not poor in politics, but we got to talk about poverty in this country. America's middle class is being hollowed out, and the working families and poor people are being left behind. Trump goes around saying the economy is doing great. You know what real inflation accounted for wages went up last year? 1.1%. That ain't great. Damn, Bernie really hates 1%. It doesn't matter what the 1% is. He just hates 1%. Wage increases, top earners, milk, it doesn't matter. He's just like, get out of there with that no-fat-ish. I want milk straight out of the cow's teats. But Bernie makes a great point. He makes a really great point. The economy can be doing well, but that doesn't mean everyday Americans will be seeing those benefits. But the truth is, the big beef tonight wasn't between the Democrats and Donald Trump. It was between the Democrats and Pete Buttigieg, South Bend mayor and old young Sheldon. You can tell... you can tell that Buttigieg is the man to beat right now because everyone was gunning for him. When we were in the last debate, Mayor, uh, you, uh, basically mocked, uh, the hundred years of experience on the stage. I think this experience works, and I have not denigrated your experience as a local official. You actually did denigrate my experience, Senator, and I was gonna let it go because we got bigger fish to fry here, but you implied that my relation... Oh, I don't think we have bigger fish to fry than picking a president of the United States. We should have someone heading up this ticket that has actually won. If you want to talk about the capacity to win, try putting together a coalition to bring you back to office with 80% of the vote as a gay dude in Mike Pence's Indiana. Ooh, that was a mic drop. Huh? A gay dude in Indiana. I feel like wherever Mike Pence is right now, his spider sense just lit up. He's like, there's a gay man in Indiana? I must go. Mother, hand me my largest Bible. Klobuchar going after Buttigieg was just the undercard fight, because the main event was between Buttigieg and Elizabeth Warren, and this came on the topic of campaign donations. I've said to anyone who wants to donate to me, if you want to donate to me, that's fine, but don't come around later expecting to be named ambassador. The mayor just recently had a fundraiser that was held in a wine cave full of crystals and served $900 a bottle of wine. Um, think about who comes to that. Billionaires in wine caves should not pick the next president of the United States. Mr. Mayor. Yeah, you know what? Elizabeth Warren has a great point. Buttigieg shouldn't be holding fundraisers in wine caves. He's not even old enough to drink. And also, what the hell is a wine cave? Like, I don't want a president picked that way. I want a president picked by someone in a tequila cave. That sounds like a lot more fun. A wine cave sounds like where Batman goes to relax. It was a long day, Alfred. Open up a bottle of rosé. So Elizabeth Warren hit Pete Buttigieg really hard on accepting campaign donations from the ultra-wealthy. But clearly, Buttigieg doesn't subscribe in the whole don't talk back to your eldest thing, because he threw some punches of his own. Senator, your presidential campaign right now, as we speak, is funded in part by money you transferred, having raised it at those exact same big-ticket fundraisers you now denounce. This is the problem with issuing purity tests you cannot yourself pass. Ooh! If I pledged never to be in the company of a progressive Democratic donor, I couldn't be up here. Senator, your net worth is 100 times mine. Now, supposing that you went home, feeling the holiday spirit, and decided to go on to PeteForAmerica.com and give the maximum allowable by law, $2,800. Would that pollute my campaign because it came from a wealthy person? Ooh! Pete Buttigieg just called Elizabeth Warren a wealthy person. You realize, for progressive white people, that's like being called the N-word. Yeah. They're like, how dare you call me wealthy? I'm living comfortably, okay? And you can see Elizabeth Warren wasn't liking that, because she did that thing that white women do when someone fights with them, they just face forward like, I'm not hearing anything. Also, also, it was pretty slick that Pete basically suggested that Warren should donate to his campaign. Right? He was just like, go to PeteDemocrat.com. Because, like, if he got every Democratic candidate to give him 100 bucks, that's like $4 billion. That's a genius scheme. So, basically, Klobuchar attacked Pete, Warren attacked Pete, and then even Bernie decided to jump in on that white-on-white crime. Now, there's a real competition going on up here. My good friend Joe, and he is a good friend, he's received contributions from 44 billionaires. Pete, on the other hand, he's trailing, Pete. You only got 39 billionaires contributing. So, Pete, we look forward to you. I know you're an energetic guy and a competitive guy to see if you can take on Joe on that issue. But what is not... Oh, man, Bernie's a G. Like, first of all, Biden is just like, wait, what happened? Wait, wait, who? Did I get the money? I don't know what it is, but whenever Bernie and Pete fight, I feel like I'm watching Back to the Future, you know? It's just like, ah! He's like, shut up and get back to the DeLorean. The flux capacitor is at one percent, and you know how I feel about one percent. So those are the big moments. Those are the big moments from tonight's debate. Although, there was one other moment that was just too powerful to ignore. First of all, we have not had enough women in our government. When I was on Trevor Noah's show once, I explained how in the history of the Senate, there was something like 2,000 men and only 50 women in the whole history, and he said if a nightclub had numbers that bad, they would shut it down. However... Oh, please. Okay, a little bit more, a little bit more. I'm not... I'm not... I'm not gonna lie. That was a brilliant point by that Trevor Noah guy. He made a lot of sense. And, uh, technically, technically, if my line gets a response at the presidential debate, doesn't that mean that now I'm also in the race? I'm joking. I can't run, guys. I was born in Kenya. So that was the final debate of the year. And, honestly, it was really exciting. There were policies, there were discussions, there was enough of a banter to make it something to watch. And it had to be exciting, because this has been an exciting week. Think about it. Just yesterday, the 45th president of the United States got impeached. Well, you guys might be cheering, but when Democrats in the House tried to cheer last night, Nancy Pelosi shut it down real fast. House Speaker Nancy Pelosi maintaining control of her caucus with a glance and a gesture alone at one point yesterday. On this vote, the yeas are 230, the nays are 197, present is one. Article one is adopted. Damn. Nancy didn't want to hear any gloating last night. She killed that celebration quick. Did you see that? That kind of look would send a champagne cork back into the bottle. That's how intense that was. It would, like, poof. Whoop. But while the Democrats were impeaching, the impeachee himself was holding a rally in Michigan, and he wants everyone to know that he's totally okay with being impeached. It doesn't really feel like we're being impeached. Do you... That's why, you know, with Richard Nixon, I just see it as a very dark era. Very dark, very, oh, you don't even like to think. I don't know about you, but I'm having a good time. It's crazy. Aw. Poor Trump, man. He just became the third president in history to get impeached, and you see what's happening. He's trying to convince everyone that it doesn't bother him. You know? He's just like, it doesn't even feel like-like we got impeached. Like, yeah, no, not we. You got impeached. There's no we. You know what this reminds me of? This reminds me of, like, when you were a kid and then you wiped out on your bike in front of all your friends, but then you got up and you had to play it cool, and your friend's like, hey, man, are you okay? You're like, yeah, that wasn't nothing. I-I did it on purpose, because I thought it would be funny. And your friend is like, dude, I can see the white stuff under your skin. You're like, yeah, I'm going home. So Trump, Trump really wants people to think that impeachment is no big deal to him, but he also wants you to think it was a travesty. I'm the first person to ever get impeached and it's in this little crime I, like, I feel guilty. You know what they call it? Impeachment-like. It's impeachment-like. You know what they have done? They've cheapened the impeachment process. And now anybody that becomes president, I mean, they could have a phone call and they get impeached. Okay, first of all, impeachment-like? There's no impeachment-lite, okay? Impeachment is like herpes. You either have it or you don't. Oh, don't worry, baby, this is just, uh, my dad herpes right here. And also, I like how he says everyone who becomes president from now on can get impeached for having a phone call. Obviously, what Trump said on the phone call with Ukraine is what matters, not the fact that he just made a call. Like, Trump's either being disingenuous or he took completely the wrong lesson from this whole thing. Because this would be like O.J. going, all right, fine, I learned my lesson. I won't wear gloves anymore. Although... although part of me... part of me thinks that Trump is just setting up an excuse for not calling Eric on his birthday. That's what he's just doing. I'm sorry, Eric, I just can't call you. I can't risk another impeachment. But you said it was impeachment-lite. Still too risky, boy. Too risky. So, look, man, Donald Trump can try and act like he doesn't care about impeachment, but you cannot deny that this is a bad way for him to end the year. So here at The Daily Show, we thought, with this being our final show of 2019, we would do the president a solid and focus on one of his major achievements of this year, inventing an incredible array of new words. I know words. I have the best words. -♪ ♪ -♪ ♪ He was awarded the Bronze Star and the Combat Infantrubin Badge, heart, lung, and liver transplants. And to de-illegitimatize. This made a pivotable... Really, and I mean, this was pivotal. Heroin alone, if you look at the heroin epidemic, to fully reauthorize the nine elected 11 victims, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt, we must seek real, bipartisan solutions. As bad as it is, it meant something. All 50 states to immediately waive all applicable state taxes. Americans of all walks of life rose up. And we used to have radio for a year. Like, I think radio... You know, we just set another stock market. You saw that, right? The stock market on January 23rd. Venezuela's by Venezuela's, so... Venezuela's. I hope they now go and take a look at the oranges, the oranges of the investigation, the beginnings. You've really put a big investment in our country. We appreciate it very much, Tim Apple. More than 2,000 years ago, a brilliant star shone, and the East Wise Men traveled far, far afield. And then they announced there was snow by snow. You know what? To improve this country and the government. I have the best words. I have the... But there's no better word than stupid. I'll wait to see what he comes up with next year. We'll be right back.