Try Not to Laugh at Jessica Kirson’s Hilarious Crowd Work Moments #126)

There's lesbians here, right? I just, yeah, she looked angry. When guys watch lesbian, they think that's what it, like women with long nails and tons of makeup on, you know what I mean? Like, oh my God, Tiffany, your fingers feel so good in my. Give me a hysterectomy. Real lesbian is women just sitting around crying and eating hummus. It's very depressing. I think I was born gay, because my mom said the second I came out, I was like, ah-ha! Yeah, I even had a double-sided pacifier. I'm into traditional kinds of relationships, like I'm the breadwinner, I date feminine women, you know, it's important to me that they cook and clean and do the laundry. They ******* better. There was just someone not laughing, but just mouthing my face, I just peed. That was a lot. Where are you a talent agent? The name is very agency. Like a boutique one? Yeah, I'm in with a big one. What? No, I didn't mean it like that. Boutique, actors and? Actors, so we have a youth division. Yeah, trafficking. Okay, so, I love you. How long have you been together? Do you have an accent too? Are you being bitchy? Because I will, I have no patience right now. I'm a second away from being hospitalized. You need to be, you need to be kind. How long have you guys been together? Oh, okay. Did you both move here or are you on vacation? How do you feel about America right now? I think everyone is. That's really funny what you just said. We are too, just so you know. We're really trying to stop thinking about what's going on. What's going on there that's hard? Are kangaroos going extinct? Yeah. What do you do there? Um, I work as a... Did you just say I worked with a caterpillar? I just want to know what's happening before I make fun of anyone else because I don't know if you guys all came together, if you're in some kind of group where you just sit around and play with scotch tape. I have no idea what's going on. What is the company? It's like mining equipment. Oh, it's so shocking you're a butch lesbian and you work with mining equipment. What do you do besides drugs? Oh, it's not easy. You don't have to go like this. What do you do? Are you an Irish step dancer? I don't know why I just asked you that. Yeah, my daughter's learning it and she looks like she has a problem. Are you an actor? Okay, you want me to keep asking you? Are you a juggler? Like, I don't know. Why don't you... A singer? Hello, are you... What are you struggling with? Can you just tell me what you do? He just said I work at a ski store, but I don't ski. What the is going on? Where is this ski store? What kind of artist are you? You're never gonna be successful if this is what you do. I love you. Can you imagine he goes in an audition? Okay, we'd like to see the sides. What does your friend do? Because I'm gonna call him. What does your friend do? Do you see how stupid people are? What kind of artist? What is he struggling with? What do you mean? I'm frightened. By the way, I'm not that smart. Like, I'm very quick. I have never felt smarter than I do in this room. I feel like I got 1,600 on the SATs. I feel like a Rhodes Scholar from talking to the two of you. What do you mean you're the same way? You don't know how to communicate? What is... What's the... Okay. And what do you do to be so okay? I'm gonna move on soon, but... Well, I was in the automotive world, if you can believe this. I love what... You were in the automotive world? What is that? You drove race cars like, whoo! I'm in the front! And you're not depressed, because I would just crash my car in the first bend. I would just go right into... But there's tires there. That's... Do you think I know that? All right, so. What did you do in the automotive business? I did a little bit of finance, auditing. God, I'm gonna die. All right. And what do you do? What do you do? You don't know that. Is it my life? Just be honest with me. I know! I know just how much. If you can't believe that I was in the automotive business, I'm top! Tiptoe on your knees! Nobody knows! I love you, too. And I love that you can take the jokes. And the... Are you a couple? We're married. I love you. We're married. How long have you been married? Oh, you look like it's been like 11 years. Where did you get married? A glory hole? Really? I'm from South Orange, right? And I lived in Montclair for a while. Montclair's amazing. Jersey. Oh, that's, see, that was a theater with 1,500 people and now I'm performing with flies. My whole family was there. And they have some money and they're like, can I get 11 free tickets? I wanna sit in the ninth row of the theater. Shut the f**k up, like it's just... And then they all came backstage, like, yeah, all these older women, like, I thought you were okay. And are you guys a couple? Nope, we're gay. We are really gay. Both of you? Oh, that's great. Are you in a relationship? No, when was the last one, a week ago? Yeah, okay, it's good to be single for a while. What do you do? What? What did you say? Oh my God, I just pulled something in my leg. That's the most exercise I've done in years. Can you say that slow? I don't understand accents, it's not your fault. I love your accent. I didn't judge your, everyone's very sensitive. This is not normal for me. I feel very offended that you're making fun of my accent. Why do you always have a lot of accents? Let me talk how you were just talking. I love your accent. You're buff, did you go to the gym today? Yes, I go every day, you fat b**ch. What do you do? Oh, do you have a private practice? I would assume people that feel like s**t about their bodies have a hard time sometimes because you look very fit. Yeah, you're. I just, I don't want you to get upset, but you're obese, but you're lovable. You're still lovable. How are you? Good, I like your dress. Nice rack. How long have you guys been together? This is the craziest show, I'm so, I don't even care, I swear I don't care how it goes. I'm having so much fun. I have to fart. Where'd you guys meet? On Hinge. He's so shy. Are you shy? No. Look at her laughing. You're a cute couple. Yeah, and what do you do? In retail, what store? Is there a wolf in the room? Well, I never know if someone's gonna bring their support animal, you know what I'm saying? At this point, someone would bring a ******* wolf. I feel unsafe without my wolf with me. My 17-year-old only talks to me in TikTok dances and I have no idea what she's saying. You can't understand what these kids are saying anymore. She's like, blah, blah, blah. She's like, mama, seriously? You were supposed to pick me up from school the other day and you were like, so lame. I don't even know what's going on. And I'm like, what? And she's like, why don't you understand me? So now I just talk to her like that too because she doesn't listen to me anyway. I'm like, no, seriously? She's like, you're so cringe. You are like, so cringe. I'm like, no, this is cringe. I just pulled something in the back of my shoulder.