why rushing gets you nowhere

This might be my least favorite question. I probably barely even graduated high school when I first heard it. And then again when I graduated college the first time. And the second. And the question just kept coming. What's next? Except now it's no longer a question save for big milestones. Now it's everywhere. All the time. A conversation starter. Or a conversation ender. Or even just an everyday part of my inner dialogue. Last year I ran a mountain race in Norway. It seemed pretty straightforward. 11 kilometers. 700 meters of elevation. And two hills. That's the final one. Except it was only one hill. A detail I didn't find out until the finish line came in sight. I spent the whole race trying to conserve my energy for a hill that never came. Not allowing myself to enjoy it because I still had so much left to climb. So all I could think when I crossed the finish line was... There was only one hill. Yeah there was. I noticed when you started running. No wonder it feels so freaking long. Upset that my expectations weren't met. That the finish line came earlier than expected. And that in the process I didn't enjoy myself as much as I would have if I'd known that second hill wasn't there. And I feel like this is a pretty good metaphor to the way in which many of us approach our lives. Always focusing on the next goal. The next obstacle. Racing to the top so that you can finally enjoy the view. Only to find out the top was a false one. And it always will be. Earlier this month marked the one year anniversary I guess of me moving to Finland. And the first thing I thought when I realized this was how fast it all passed by. And how much further I thought I would have been by now. How much more I would have achieved. How much more I would have done or had or seen or experienced. And I didn't really think about the fact that those two things are actually related. I've been reading this book. Or I should say listening actually because it's audio. But there was a quote in there. It just kind of struck with me. I'm gonna read it to you. Desire is infinite. It has no limit. No point at which it's ever satisfied. The problem is that we are finite. We have all sorts of limits. So the result is restlessness. And it's funny because if I would have told myself five years ago where I would be in five years. So where I am now. I don't think I would have believed myself. And even if I did I don't like I just would have been so excited to get to the point I am now. Because I never would have dreamed of being where I am now. Like me now is not nearly as excited as I should be. Because there is something else I want. I'm just too consumed with what I don't yet possess. That I can't actually appreciate the things I already have. I kind of see it as a cycle. Of wanting this thing that you think will make you happy or fulfilled or successful. And then achieving this thing. But then finding out that there is something better that you can have. So you start chasing the next thing. And the next. And the cycle just continues. And I feel like the older you get and the longer you're stuck in the cycle. The faster it will go. Whether that's because of societal pressures or comparison to people around you. Or even standards of where you think you have to be at the age you are now. But while the cycle might not be self-inflicted. It is self-sustained. Which also means you have the power to just pause it. Now unfortunately that's easier said than done. Because the thought of pausing or even slowing down already makes you feel more behind. Let alone actually doing it. But I think it's important to try. And one of the ways I've been doing that is by using Headspace, the sponsor of this video. I think it's the perfect companion for scheduling pause into your day. Even if it's just five minutes to check in with yourself and step out of your thoughts. I'm someone who struggles a lot with stress and anxiety over everyday things. But also just about life in general. And whether I'm on the right path. Or whether I'm doing it right. Or whether I'm growing as fast as I should. And I really appreciate that Headspace has so many different sessions. On so many different topics and issues that you might be dealing with. So it's really like your mental health coach that fits into your pocket in a way. If you know me, you might also know that I love to go on daily walks. Most of which are usually spent ruminating in my thoughts. But these walking meditations have been a super effortless way for me to take a second to pause and check in with myself ahead of the day or at the end of it. Just 10 days of Headspace is proven to decrease stress and increase happiness. And by using my link in the description box or scanning the QR code on screen, you can try it out entirely for free for 60 days. I highly encourage you to check it out and see how Headspace might be helpful to you. Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't have goals or desires in life. But if anything has become clear, it's that those desires will keep on coming. That in some ways, I might always feel like I'm behind. Which also means that really, there is no point of rushing through it all if the outcome remains the same every time. And I feel like slowing down is often associated with doing less or falling behind somehow. When really, it actually means doing more. Being more present in what you do or more intentional about why you do it and more aware of what actually matters. And the more I've started paying attention to it, the more I've realized how many things in life work out better if you take it slow. Running slower actually makes you faster. Slow-cooked food has more flavor. Making decisions slowly usually leads to better choices. And it seems, in turn, that living a little slower might actually lead to a happier life. That if I don't learn to slow down, I will spend my whole life racing to the hill that never was. So if there's anything I've learned about feeling behind, it's that I'm not actually behind. I'm simply going too fast.