6-5-2 寫作批改

作文批改解說 這篇是同學寫的作文 我們來看如何修改 社群網站我們寫 Social networking websites Facebook is a social networking website which is used around the world Social media 是社群媒體 Social networking sites 是社群網站 The main reason is keeping in touch with friends or family 這是中文式的英文 老師建議這樣改 Keeping in touch with friends or family is the main reason people use these social media 下一句 Nowadays, the situation that friends move away for studying or travel abroad for working is normal 這也是中文式的英文 我們這樣改 We may have friends or family members who study away from our hometown or study abroad However, thanks to advanced technology we can contact with friends and family easier We can chat with them or share something interesting to them by Facebook 上篇作文我們提過 Contacts 與人聯絡當動詞的時候 後面不加with 所以是 Contacts our friends and family 上面這兩句可以合併一起寫 Thanks to advanced technology we can contact our friends and family chat with them or share something interesting with them on Facebook The second reason is sharing information and pictures 這一句我們改成 Second, Facebook allows us to share information and pictures 下一句 Facebook can let us know many things because everyone likes to post news or what happened to them Let us know 是比較口語的用法 而things 這個字不明確 寫作文的時候要用一些比較明確的字 所以建議這樣改 Some of our friends may want to post news and we can find out the latest updates through the news feed News feed 是動態消息 從動態時報上得知朋友的最新消息 Then, when they upload the message people can make a comment 這一句老師建議這樣改 We can also leave a message or comment on the post 可以在貼文上留言或發表評論 這樣寫太冗長 建議這樣改 Tagging friends 是在照片上標註朋友的意思 這兩句老師建議這樣改 Third, people can set up clubs or join in groups where they share similar interests 可以成立共同興趣的社群 These clubs help people discuss certain information and post announcements help 改成 allow discuss certain information 改成 exchange information These clubs allow people to exchange information and post announcements 最後 In conclusion Connecting with friends, sharing information and pictures, and finding interest groups are all the reasons why people use Facebook But finding 改成 join In conclusion Connecting with friends, sharing information and pictures and join interest groups are the reasons why people use Facebook 這是修改後的文章 Facebook is a social networking website which is used around the world There are three reasons why people use Facebook Keeping in touch with friends or family is the main reason people use this social media We may have friends or family members who study away from our hometown or study abroad Thanks to advanced technology, we can contact our friends and family chat with them or share something interesting with them on Facebook Second, Facebook allows us to share information and pictures Some of our friends may want to post news and we can find out the latest updates through the news feed We can also leave a message or comment on the post Besides, we share pictures by tagging friends and they can see the pictures no matter where they go Third, people can set up clubs or join in groups where they share similar interests These clubs allow people to exchange information and post announcements In conclusion, connecting with friends, sharing information and pictures and joining interest groups are the reasons why people use Facebook 這是段落的架構 Topic sentence Facebook is a social networking website which is used around the world There are three reasons why people use Facebook The first reason, keeping in touch with friends and family The second reason, sharing information and pictures The third reason, setting up clubs or join common interest groups Concluding sentence In conclusion, connecting with friends, sharing information and pictures and joining interest groups are the reasons why people use Facebook 老師的補充 這篇文章的前兩個原因類似 Keeping in touch with friends and family 還有, sharing information and pictures 可以合併寫成一個原因 然後再增加另一個原因 Facebook is a useful online marketing tool Advertising on Facebook is a good way to reach a wide audience all over the world Facebook 是一個有用的網路行銷工具 在Facebook上廣告 可以把資訊傳遞到世界各地 在這個單元 我們看了兩篇因果關係的段落 Cause and effect paragraph 也看了兩篇作文的批改解說 探討原因的兩篇是 而討論結果的兩篇是 我們學到整個段落裡 主題句先寫出要討論的原因或結果 支持句分別就每個原因或結果做說明 結論句總結整個段落 這就是因果關係的段落 上完這六週的課程 相信你已經掌握英文段落的架構 認識了每個寫作文體的結構特色 知道如何寫出正確的句子和有連貫性的段落 希望這些知識對你的英文寫作有很大的幫助