Why Men Leave Good Women All The Time

One of the most confusing things that I experienced growing up was seeing the women in my family being left by the men they loved. I saw it in my parents when they divorced, I saw it in my grandmother, I saw it in my sister and her ex-fiancé, and I always wondered, why would these men leave these women that were so devoted, beautiful, kind, and intelligent? In case you're new to the channel, my name is Ismael Gomez, I'm a coach, writer, and speaker. Ladies, my hope with this video is to help you understand why men might sometimes walk away from you, even when you're offering them something truly special. This content is not for you to hate men or to think that we're just a bunch of manipulators trying to use you. It's to bring clarity, so the day that a man wants to leave your side, you understand exactly what's going through his mind, and you don't have to go online every day looking for answers, trying to figure out what's happening in your relationship. Okay, so let's begin. Number one, the only reason a man leaves. There's only one reason that a man will leave you. Only one. And I know that many of you ladies watch a thousand videos online about breakups and heartbreak and they only lead you to more confusion. So I want to simplify this for you today and help you understand that the only reason he would end the relationship with you is that he sees a better future without you. It's painful to hear, I know, but think about it. If he thought that the future with you was the best choice, he would never leave, right? So when someone walks away, it's because they believe that a better outcome awaits for them out there, and that outcome does not include you. So once you understand that basic principle, you can start thinking about his motivations, you know, the things that he's looking for in his future that he's not finding with you, or that he may have found with someone else. Number two, exploring other futures. When a man leaves a long-term relationship for a new woman, it's usually because of the 80-20 principle, meaning the woman that he's with may have 80% of the qualities that he's looking for. Because you know, nobody's perfect or fully compatible. But then one day, he suddenly finds a woman that has that 20% that's been missing. But in his mind, all he sees is that, wow, here's a woman that has 100% of what I've been looking for. So he exits the relationship and starts dating this new woman. But eventually, what happens many times is that he realizes that this new woman only has 20% of what he wanted. He might consider trying to get back with that 80% woman, but usually, his pride will hold him back. Well, that person has already moved on, so he ends up stuck with this new connection trying to make it work the best he can. Therefore, when you select a man, ladies, you need to make sure that he's satisfied with what you have to offer. Pay attention to see if he shows appreciation for what he receives, or does he constantly tries to mold you into someone else? How much affection does he show for the 80% that you have, or does he always focus on the 20% that you're missing? How do you change a man to love you the way you want to be loved? The problem with this question, which I get a lot, is that you ladies believe that if you cannot change him to meet your needs, then it's something that you're doing wrong. Look at it this way, imagine you're trying to make a soup, but you get with a man that can only offer you fruits. He's got apples, oranges, watermelons. How do you expect to make it work with someone who has the wrong ingredients for what you want? But many times, you get stubborn because you don't want to let go, so you end up making a soup that tastes like a cocktail. Number three, lacks maturity. An immature man will never commit to you because he simply does not wish to grow up. Being an adult requires many times placing your own needs second to those of others, especially in a committed relationship. A committed partnership comes with obligations, meaning that if he chooses to be with you, he also needs to be accountable to you. It's like someone who wants to enjoy a delicious meal, but they never want to do the dishes afterwards. They want the benefits and pleasures of the relationship without taking responsibility for the upkeep and effort required to maintain it. And ladies, don't think that maturity is just about age. Sure, we often mature with time, but I've seen guys in their 50s who still haven't figured out how to take responsibility in their relationships. And I've met men in their 20s who are fully committed and excited about building a future with their partners. So if an immature man associates commitment, responsibility, and accountability with being in a relationship with you, and those are things that he doesn't want in his future, he will likely choose to walk away because he's not ready or willing to grow in those areas. Number four, attraction was superficial. Physical attraction and chemistry will not provide the emotional depth needed for a lasting connection. Think about when you get a new phone, the excitement and thrill of unboxing it, exploring its features, and showing it off. Initially, it's captivating and engaging, right? But over time, that novelty wears off and it becomes just another gadget that you own. On the other hand, consider those special pictures that you've taken on your phone and the deep emotional connection that you have with the memories they capture. Even when you switch phones, you hold on to the same pictures because they carry significant meaning. So when someone chooses to be with you, you need to pay attention to whether they see you as the new iPhone to play with or as someone they want to create lasting memories and experiences with. Number five, he found someone better for him. Now ladies, I want you to think about this one. What if after a man decides to leave you, he ends up finding someone better for him? Now listen well. I said someone better for him, not someone better than you. And there's a difference there. What if after your relationship ends, he finds the love of his life? Will you start calling him a narcissist? Will you start comparing every single aspect of yourself to his new partner? And I know the pain and hurt that this can cause. I've been there myself. But you see, a lot of the times people are so confused and angry when these things happen to them. However, I believe that these experiences can bring clarity, helping you realize that the connection that you had with this person was meant to end. Think about when you're reading a book. When a sentence ends, do you stop and question, why did the writer choose to end it there? Or do you just simply skip to the next one and keep reading the story? Similarly, in life, you cannot expect all the chapters are going to be written exactly how you want. They will have their own twists and turns, and some of them you might not anticipate or find ideal, leading you to experiences and insights that shape who you become. Remember how I told you in the beginning of this video about the women in my family and the pain they experienced? Well, I was there by their side, bleeding as well, sharing in their struggles and feeling the weight of their suffering. But all those scars and battles with anxiety, depression, and uncertainty have been the ones that led me here to help you today, ladies. How could I give you all these messages if I didn't first become the messenger? And that's a pun intended. For those of you who have noticed, my username everywhere is SaveTheMessenger. Anyways, I hope that you enjoyed this video because I sure did making it for you. Thank you so much for subscribing to the channel. We're getting pretty close to hitting 100,000 subscribers, so I'm really excited about that and I'm very grateful to all of you. I appreciate that you've chosen me to be your guide on self-love, dating, and relationship dynamics, because like I always say, for your relationships to change, you need to change. Have a beautiful day.