JESSY KIRSON Crowd Work Comedy ｜ Total Chaos #152)

Where are you from? I just literally found you. Do you have a scone on you? I love scone. So when did you relocate? About a year ago. Oh my god, you just got here. Wow. Are you a mail order bride with this guy? I love you too. I've been watching your videos. I was in UK last year, yeah. I had a tube in me from a kidney stone. That was a fun trip. It's okay. I pulled it out mid-show. What the f*** am I saying right now? I did. It was a tube. I took it out and snorted c*** with it during the trip. How did you guys meet? I love that you met on a big scruff. Growler. That's f***ing amazing. You know what the lesbian one is? Crier. Have you ever heard of Crier? You can meet someone as miserable on you on Crier. So you met on the app and then you moved here to be with him. No. I'd never move here for him. That's one of the reasons. Oh, okay. To be with him. Okay. To be up on everything at the same time. Okay. Oh, that's meant to be, I think. I believe in that, yeah. We didn't meet for anything romantic. Did you meet two or three weeks ago? Or did you meet before you came here to be with him? This is getting so confusing. You're like, I wouldn't come here to meet with him, but I meant to meet with him to meet him and we were going to be together forever, but it's a growler. I have no idea what the f*** you just said. He's on mushrooms? I f***ing love that. I love when people are on mushrooms. It's so great. What's it like? A little bit? It's beautiful? Do I look like a llama? What do I look like right now? Are you seeing things? I haven't taken them in so many. You are? I love this so much. What are you seeing right now? Tell me it's a thin, happy person. Is that what you're saying? Because I just, it'll make me feel better. Do I look hopeful? Do I? Colorful? Well, I'm wearing a colorful jacket. I don't know if the shrooms are working. What colors? Purple? Do I look like Barney? Because I'll kill myself. Don't tell me I look like Barney right now. Oh, you guys are holding hands too. These two gay guys. You're beautiful. How long have you guys been together? How long? Fifteen. Fifteen years. That's great. That's a long time. What do you think the secret to your relationship is? Space. Okay. Is either one of you away a lot? No, we don't live together yet. You don't live together yet. That is the funniest thing I've ever heard. Yeah, it hasn't been a long time. We're just not ready to live together. I cannot believe that you just said yet. When are you planning, when you're both in hospice, when are you planning to live together? When you're both dying, you just... I guess it's time. Oh, they're embarrassing. Three of them are pointing at you. Are you just a big fan? Last year. I love that you just said, last year, front row. You don't remember us? Bitch. Social worker. Lesbian. TikTok. Do you know what he just did? TikTok. Come on. This isn't enough information? Do you think... Every fan of mine is a social worker. Do you... Not everyone. Do you have a private practice? Where do you work, honey? A psychiatric hospital. You need to laugh. That's... You see a lot of... What's the craziest situation you ever dealt with there? You are so innocent, what you just said. People throw poo. I love that you just called it poo. I'd be like, people fling ----, and it's very hard to deal with. What's your name? Michael. Cute. Couple? Yeah. Great. Michael, are you originally from here? Because I'm feeling like you're not. Kind of? What does that mean? Where are you from originally? Where? Augusta? Yeah. Oh, okay. Georgia. And are you here from here too? Jade. Jade? Jay. Jay? Yeah. I didn't ask your name. I asked... Is that... I'm joking. Is that a town? Like an hour north of here. Oh. Paper Mill Town. Oh, Paper Mill Town. Wow. God. A lot going on there. So you have KKK meetings? What do you guys do in your free time? Did you come... Are you gay? No. Jay. Whatever the ****. I'm joking. Are you guys a couple? What are you drinking? Espresso drink? Because it has three... I don't know if that's like Mao ---- or are those coffee beans. Espresso. You just almost spilled it by knocking the table. It's so weird because these tables are so nice and sturdy. How long have you been together? Nine years. Are you... You guys are nice. Where'd you guys meet? What's BM... I'm sorry. I'm barely alive. What's BMCC? Bow Movement Community College? I love your beard, sir. It's reminding me I have to shave. How are you tonight? It's a lot. There's... Are you Amish? What's happening? Or just lazy? Are you depressed? Well, your head is perfectly shaved. What's with the beard? I like the beard. It's... I wish I could have one to be honest with you. What's your name? Spencer. I did not expect that. Okay. Spencer. What do you do? Work at Spencer's? Okay. What do you do? God, I hate this career. What do you do? Personal trainer. Okay. Wow. Alright. I hate personal trainers. I just have to tell you. I have one right now. His chest looks like a challah. Every time he works me out, I'm hungry. He's like, you ready to do some push-ups? I'm like, I'm ready to kill you. To be honest with you, I've wanted to kill you since the day I met you. Hi, you're late. Hi. You're not late. You were here already, right? You had to go to the bathroom? Like it was that bad? Number two? Because you wouldn't run out for number one. You would hold it in because you're afraid that I'm going to talk to you. Number two? Three? What was it? What's your name? Corey. Yeah. Okay. You're like, yeah, you dumb bitch. You should know my name. You're so gay. All right. Let me talk to you after. Hi, lesbian. How are you? I know you are. You look very handy. What do you do? An acquisitions manager. Did you come here alone or with these people? Are you guys together? Okay. I knew it because your body language was like this. Unless you're lesbians that have been angry at each other for 10 years and you won't let it go. You know what I'm saying? And what do you do? You work in education. Doing what? Are you nervous? Because I won't talk to you. Like, I'm so... You're not? You're working the private sector for business. I feel so stupid right now. I have no idea what the **** you're saying. What? Okay, whatever. All right. So it's not your fault. I just don't feel like going into this right now. I'm tired. And I don't want to nap during my crowd work. You know, it's just... I'm afraid I'm going to take a nap. I love that you thought I wouldn't notice you. You just like... You just danced to your seat. I just pulled something. All right. So... Did you just hear that laugh? It's their land. Okay. So... And are you guys here together? You're not a couple because you're the gayest man I've ever met. He just put his arm around this woman and said, we're a couple. I love you so much. I do. You have such great energy. It's amazing. What's your name? Wesley. What? We met in Richmond. Was I doing a meet and greet after the show? Yeah, I don't do those anymore because people are going to kill me. Are you married? You're beautiful. I am so disgusted. We're so married. Has it been a long time? Can you guys get into a fight? Because that'll just round the whole thing off. If you just... It's six years, you... Do I look fat? All right. So where did you guys meet? On Skype. Are you serious? Skype? Was it like a dating thing? Or you just were on the same meeting? Oh. Where in Canada are you from? I love performing there. It's really miserable there. Yeah. It's so hot. What do you do? Are you in anything right now? What? Oh, wow. Are you loving what's happening right now? What? Did you ever hear with acting and improv, it's give and take? Yes, and? Do you get depressed a lot? Were your parents good parents? Everyone is angry, except for the two people that went, oh. Me too. What do you think is the worst thing that's happened, like that either one of them did, your parents? They were angels. Something really bad happened. I'm telling you. When things are perfect, it's something happened. You don't know about it. Your father killed someone. Something really bad happened that only your parents know. Happy birthday. Is it today? It was yesterday? Oh, it's passed. Really? I love that you just announced that. No, I'm serious, that you're owning it. Because most people are like, no. You're like, it's mine today, bitch. Address it. Where are you from? I'm from Georgia, the country. I love you. Trust me, I knew you weren't from Georgia. I'm from Georgia, the country. It's my birthday. I grew up in Atlanta. I love her peaches. What were you saying? Well, I don't know if I have a fan base in Georgia, the country. I do in Atlanta. What? Oh, that makes me feel good. Probably no one else ever laughed at you. From the whole country. I'll buy a thousand tickets. Where the **** is Georgia, the country? I'm so ridiculous in certain ways. Where is it? It borders five different countries. Oh, it's safe now. That's where I want to be. It borders Ukraine, Russia, Palestine, Israel, Syria and Iran. Who are you here with? Oh, God. I've never been more gay than I am right now from what you just said. I know, that's really rare. Jesus, is that ******* rare. Okay, what have you been through? What just happened? Keep talking because it takes my time. I'm serious, please. Tell me your whole life history. My mother wasn't really around when my father worked and I just was alone as a child. We had a pet chicken. And one day, the chicken, I fucked it.