Comedy Central DRAMA Story With Nikki Glaser

Okay, so tell me about the roast because every I was coming to interview and all my friends like you have to ask her About it. Who's did she ever get in trouble? No, you ever get a phone call from somebody? Okay, here's the here's what I can Say about getting in trouble. So when I did the last roasted it was out Baldwin And Caitlyn Jenner was on it and I wanted to make jokes about her car accident Yeah, the woman died and this was before I was friends with Caitlyn like I'm not like friends But before I was quainting with her and I love her so much and so I just thought what I you know, and I'm very familiar with her just based on the Kardashian show, but um with Caitlyn I wrote these jokes and Comedy Central was like, please Nikki. Don't do these Please don't and I go all you have to do is tell me with with this If Caitlyn were to say don't make that joke Listen there a woman died in this the in the event that made this joke Oh an innocent woman that was just driving front and Caitlyn was found innocent. So this was a horrible accident but I want to comment on it if First of all, I'm not making fun of the victim and I'm just making fun of Caitlyn And so I found jokes that did that but um, so I said to call me central I won't do these jokes, but I need to know that she says don't do them Have you told her that I might do these jokes and they're like no and I'm like tell her ask her Can anyone do a joke and they were too pussy to ask her because and not pussy But like I would be too there. She's the biggest talent. They want to keep her They don't want to scare her away and they think that even if they ask her she'll be like I'm not doing it anymore that and so they don't they're just like, please just don't and so I was doing these jokes around town but I kept doing them because I'm like I'm gonna prepare to do them because until you told me not to and I asked them can I meet with her and ask her Before I'll literally call it. Can I call her? I'm not gonna I'll do it. So gently and they're like, no, we don't trust you I'm like, okay fine So I keep doing the jokes and it's they're literally the best jokes I have in my set that are just the ones that go like, oh my god, and this is a night the night before and Kill it kills and kills and kills and there was another joke during the Bruce Willis root joke rose to that I took out that I wish that I wouldn't have but Jeff Ross was like It's just mean and they're gonna be there because it was making fun of how his daughters got his looks instead of Demi Moore's Yeah I relate to that because I My sister got my mom's looks and I look like my dad and so like I was gonna make anyone to make that joke You could I was going to be like, I'm one of you like listen look at looking at the DNA We had a choice of our you know, our God picked the wrong one for us well, you know, but you know, they're beautiful girls, but they do look like they're dead more than their mom and everyone right and and I was worded much more coothly than that and it was putting me in it too is implicating myself as a as a Willis brother and so He but I didn't do it and I regret doing it because those girls do have a great sense of humor and and I got Called ugly like a million times during that thing. So right anyway, so I think it's okay. I do it. It's Everything happens for a reason. Yeah, they weren't they're not like playing with toys. They're adult women. Yes handled it Yeah, but still they're like them ugly It just said it looked like him and that's okay to look like I've turned into such a pussy by the way Yeah, you have so I think I think they can handle it I think they could have but you know what? I I have had a lot of regrets about roast work I didn't do that joke. Why didn't I do it about literally everything? I'll leave here being like, why did I say that one thing? What why didn't I say this and I'm always like I can't that's what makes you Because I can spend the rest of the night being like why didn't I tell that one story? Why did I blather on about that other bullshit? But now I'm just like because if I'd maybe if I did say that story Maybe it would have like upset someone in a way that they like kick their dog later that night Like I always just think like I avoided something everything happens for a reason I roast go ahead. I get to the morning of so that the set is killer It gets the morning and they commie central finally calls me and they go Caitlin found out that someone was making jokes Running the set around town about the car accident and said that if those jokes are made during the show She will walk and I said, okay great. They're taking out They're done like they're out and I was fine about it because I knew that might happen But I wasn't going to do it unless it came from her, you know, so I didn't do those jokes And I was also scared when I got there that she was gonna be mad at me because she might have heard it It was me, you know, they told me that she just heard someone So when I met her backstage right before we're walking on I wanted to just have a moment with her being like I love you. Like I think you're so brave I like I love trans people sure I just I'm kind of obsessed with them because I'm just like That is insane Like insanely brave to me to like feel like you should have always been something and be like I know everyone's gonna make fun of me for the rest of my life and also tonight but like this is who I am It's just I just love it. So I wanted to have a moment with her where I She thought I was even even to say hey, I'm sorry. I made those jokes and that upset you I mean, I didn't know that they were off-limits So I ran up to her but she was walking so fast even in heels to the stage Sure, I was like still I'm still an athlete. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah walk in so kick your ass and golf amazing By the way, yeah, if you are a 70 whatever two-year-old woman and you look that good Yeah, good luck. I was I remember looking at her being like she's killing it. But um, so I I ran up to her and I she I had heard from my friend Bonnie McFarland She had had a really strong Rehearsal set. Yeah, and so I went up to her and I was like Caitlyn Caitlyn. I'm like, hi I was like, I'm Nikki Glaser. Um, I'm such a huge fan. I'm so excited to do this with you I'm a comic on the on the thing I was like, I I talked to a friend of mine that saw you at rehearsal They she said you killed and I said killed and it just felt like I was addressing the joke And I heard you killed Again, see you out there. You know, it just felt like I was doing the meanest girl Do you ever do that? Yes, it's the opposite of what I meant. Yes Yes, I could tell her kind of look at me. Like did you just say something like purposely? So I think after that I was like and I know I love you and I was just you know Kissing her ass all time, but then she was so nice to me I mean she found out I was on Dancing with the Stars and got voted off She was like you are voted off Dancing with the Stars first That's good during the commercial break and was just so fun that those are so fun because they're None of celebrities have their makeup people their assistants. They're all up there alone And so during the commercial break, we just have these famous people that I would never be around I'm the least famous person there by far I get to talk to them and like they're getting all drunk and a little bit like boozy and flirty and fun And so she was just like you that is the worst That's the worst thing that could ever happen to you It's getting voted first off Dancing with the Stars Rob was on Dancing with the Stars He had an amazing samba and she was like telling me she's go YouTube a Rob Kardashian Dancing with the Stars She was a sweet what I learned about Kaitlyn is that she's really um I did Burt Kreisler's cabin show with her on Netflix and after the roast and I thought that she would be mad at me From the first roast just because oh I had gone on Howard Stern after that and I tell told the jokes My opening joke was Caitlyn Jenner Such a beautiful woman you killed in that car accident like I was good that was gonna be my first joke and so I told these on Stern and I felt like Between me doing the roast and the cabin that she might have Developed a hatred for me because of the Stern thing. So I was scared to see her but she She was lovely and she thought I was trans for a second. They cut that I was very happy because I was like, I love trans people They feel like they're not seen inside and she was like, are you like she asked me if I was trans Which you know, I I wouldn't be trans people look amazing They're they pass better than I do some days as a woman and I was born a woman It was a moment that I was just like am I like but it wasn't we got along so well and she's um a really doting mother and like Just wanted to talk about her kids like oh, so Kylie hasn't texted me in a bit And you know, I'm just getting so upset every time I facetime her she's not picking up. It was just like normal mom like Problems with their kids and I'm like you're talking about Kylie or she'll be like, oh, did you see Kendall did that? Bottle cap challenge on the jet ski. I told her she could get it in the first time like like and I was like Yeah, I saw that. I liked that this morning as did 90 million people and you're talking about it's like It's like a little video of your kid. It's so cute