FACING REALITY

it's really nice being back playing the PGA Tour Canada event what's up guys welcome back to the dog vlog it's pediatr Canada tournament week so let's take you guys behind the scenes here there's a lot more cool things to show here then compare it to some of the mini tour stuff we've been playing all summer right after Labor Day I hope everyone had a good Labor Day weekend I've been just laying low away from the camera for the last few days just came down to very early preparing here at National Pines my games feeling really good put a lot a lot of work in my short game here I know this golf course very very well so I didn't need to spend a lot of time on it I'm gonna play nine holes this morning play the back nine just to get a feel for it and then this afternoon I'm actually going to shoot stuff for the PGA Tour Canada television show with the charity with the CMHA so hopefully the camera there and show you guys a little bit what's going on there first things first get out here on the golf course [Music] it's really nice feedback playing the PGA Tour Canada event it brings back really good memories and good juices flowing from when I actually had status on this tour and got to play Thursday to Sunday every week prepare Monday to wednesday the atmosphere is a lot different to signage the sponsorship the flags the ropes it just looks more professional than some of the mini tour stuff we play and that's not a knock against mini tour golf it's just apples and oranges and the oranges of federated tours are much much better got my credentials for the week I'm not a member of the tour so I need this to get around to get in and out of the clubhouse getting out of the parking lot and all that stuff it is really nice to get back to that even if it's just for one week it's a good little taste of what I want in next season that's it for my morning though get ahead get a coffee get to editing now then I head in a couple hours to CMHA which is again the charity this week headed to their local branch drop-in center and we're gonna film a segment for the TV show really really cool talk about mental health again on this level they were announcing fun today what up guys Wednesday morning yes Wednesday morning I didn't take the camera to the CMHA yesterday it just didn't seem appropriate I wanted to be there I want to have fun with everybody and the footage that was shot will be on the TV show so I'll be able to post links to that it was absolutely amazing had a lot of fun with everybody there did some some putting challenges and some some cookie face challenges just a lot of laughs and it was just awesome to be able to connect with people from the community of Barry from the mental health community and ultimately just have a blast I got to do a really cool interview afterwards and it's gonna be pretty cool to see this interview compared to the interview I did in 2013 with the PGA Tour when I did a profile on me and my story and it's gonna be really cool to compare the two to see my story then versus my story now when how I talked about it then and how I talk about it now I'm really really excited today is the Oakdale pro-am that George Newton Memorial pro-am one of my favorite golf courses in Canada I was fortunate enough to win this tournament the first time I played it in 2014 so hopefully today I can put my name back on that trophy it's gonna be a blast hopefully I get a great team hope we have a we have a lot of fun have a lot of laughs make a lot of birdies I'll see you guys afterwards and just like that with the power of Phil it's like no time passed whatsoever seven o'clock long round of golf we had a little cocktail afterwards orders this pro-am is just so special to honor George Newton and raise a lot of money from Mount Sinai Hospital this this programs raised over five million dollars for the hospital which is incredible absolutely incredible I didn't win didn't get my name back on that trophy I played well today just didn't really convert enough birdies shot 200 par finished in a tie for third not so bad good start to my week great to get the competitive juices flowing and man I hit some great chips so all that all that work on my short game is really really proving itself didn't feel incredibly comfortable cutting with this new routine there were some questionable putts out there but whatever it was all in good fun I had a great group we had a lot a lot of fun lot of laughs and a few birdies not a lot of birdies but a few birdies but now I've got a track on up to Barry I play it to 20 tomorrow so it's not so bad I'm not gonna be too tired I'm gonna get lots of time to rest but I'm in the last group tomorrow so it's gonna be a long one [Music] what's up guys beautiful Friday evening here in Barry it came downtown down and said the waterfront just chill out a little bit this tournament went really bad like really bad like dfl bad dead at Fame last that I don't really know whatever to begin I I was prepared actually did a lot of good things at the golf ball quite well all of round one late in the day the Greens just weren't good and nothing was going in for me so I stood on my 18th tee to over par not like dead in the water but scoring was very low in the morning so you know you needed to be close to par to have a chance to make the cut on Friday par 5 just you know had a good Drive then like a birdie and finish it one over I pushed it right into the trees have to take him unplayable I pitched it out and hit that one into the trees took it up playable I a few chips of putts later it was a tense end of my day with the 10 and my goodness did my mood ever go south it was it was was not fun it was not comfortable it was scary and I had to call my mom and tell her what I was thinking because anyone here knows me knows that I'm really open and honest about my emotions and that's part of my health I need to tell the closest people to me the scary thoughts I'm having so got through it and I managed to play on Friday as much as I didn't want to it wasn't great today I hit it and then just any time I was out of position I just didn't get back to this so I saw 79 81 16 over bar I don't think I've shot that high in two rounds in years so it really sucks and then it's not like I'm not discouraged and not beat up I'm not ready to quit pack it in retire it's just such a shame to have such a cool opportunity and do such good stuff this week with the charity but also be feeling good about my game and that played well on Wednesday and to just go out there finish last I mean it's a couple guys withdrew after the first round but it still finished last and you can tell this week it wasn't too great at vlogging either because I just haven't vlogged couple weeks so you know intensely into my tournaments it's just been a mediocre golf game tired of telling you guys have haven't been playing well maybe you're tired of hearing it I don't know I'm kind of banging my head against the wall here few more events left this month but I'm starting to wind it down and accept the reality that I think I'm gonna have to have a job this offseason and work and put some money in the bank and freeze my butt off in the snow and and that's unless things change unless you know a sponsorship thing comes through or a couple of speaking gigs get booked but that's the reality I'm looking at right now and I think I was probably thinking about that on the course that is probably why I had no real focus or attention span or intention with my play it was just kind of have a laugh with my caddie and get the day over with I've got a couple days here to kill and bury I'm still gonna play a one day term and I had planned to play on Tuesday as much as I don't want to as much as I want to throw in the towel and just you know go in a hole and hide I'm not gonna do that I'm still gonna play this one day I still can salvage the rest of this month I mean it's still been my best year financially but there's been a lot of lows as well really sucks to under perform on a stage where you really want to and I didn't put too much pressure on myself I mean I'm 33 years old I've been through this that's it for this week guys thank you again for following along I hope you enjoyed this and I'll get back into the flow of things with what's coming up in the next couple of weeks and having a bit of time off can allow me to do some more fun things with the vlog I just need to keep the camera with me a little more often give this video a thumbs up make sure you subscribe because we're getting good we have 225 subscribers we've crossed a 10,000 view milestone the YouTube channel is picking up so thank you guys so so much see in a couple days [Music]