How to Turn Your Life Upside Down in Just a Few Years

Hey, how's it going? Welcome back to my channel. I know I haven't make video for a while because I was busy looking for a boyfriend and I was thinking if I want someone who is physically attractive, I should go to gym. And please don't laugh at me because I was seriously thinking I could see physically attractive guy everywhere. But the ratio surprised me because it's much lower than I thought. For example, I usually spend few hours in the gym each time including the pool and I may find one or maximum two that I consider he is in perfect shape. And for girls it's even less common than men. You know for me it's kind of norm because I watch movie and TV show a lot and I'm not a social person. So, I kind of expected more attractive people in the gym, you know, and that made me realize the differences between social media versus our real life. We don't see hot body everywhere. And we don't see people who don't think about money at all. And I think most people are struggling with survival. If you want to live a life that's above average, look above average or make your dream life come true, you can't do what majority people do because the majorities are not living their dream lives. I have changed so much within the last couple years and my life literally went downside up and I was thinking what made me grow? What made me carry myself so differently from let's say 5 years back? If you do or try to do what I'm going to tell you, your life will be so different in couple years. It all started with self-reflection or pattern recognition. I started to pay attention to why things happen to me in a certain way because like people have pattern, you have pattern as well like the way you choose clothes, the habit you choose the food, your daily routine, your speaking habit. We all have a preferred way of doing things and a lot of time we don't think about why we do certain thing we just do it automatically and most people don't think about why they do the thing. So you may want to look from a third person view to see yourself like outside person and see yourself the way you talk, the way you carry yourself. Why do you make friend with someone? Why do you spend your time doing certain thing? I have no ashamed to admit that there is a certain period in my life when I smoke because I couldn't manage my emotion really well. So I smoke to try to be a calm person and by that time I also drink a lot because sometimes I just not in a good mood and not able to adjust myself. I used alcohol to make me happy. One day I was very disappointed by myself. I was thinking okay other people don't treat you nicely. Why do you treat yourself the same way? During that period I had a very bad relationship. He was violent. He was a control freak, but I wasn't allowed to talk to my parents. And every time I talked to my parents, I got punished and every behavior was monitored. I just don't want to go too detail. I gave up so many things for that one person. I gave up my family, my friends, my career. Oh, by the time I was doing some Amazon business, selling things on Amazon and also making some videos about the Pilates rain, I made a series of video of exercising and just to meet this guy's preference, I deleted whole YouTube channel, gave up my Amazon business. Basically, I gave up everything I had for one relationship. I also give up my hobby like snowboarding and he forces me to use all my money, buy luxury bags and make my account run to zero dollars. Can you believe that? I actually did it. So I was physically abused, cut off all the connection with my friends and my family. Do whatever he asked me to do, try to survive. And you know what's funny? The first time he hit me in the face, he actually gave me a chance to laugh him. But I didn't I didn't give up. I thought he could change. I was expecting a miracle someday he will be a good guy. He will treat me nicely because I thought he loved me. So I literally wasted the first and only time I could left him. And I actually managed to skip this guy for I think couple times. The first time I was finded by him, my ID was caught. He destroyed it all my ID. So I could not go anywhere and I have no money remember. And the second time I escaped it and be found in bed and I I was being punished badly. I gave up on my money, my friends, my parents just to be with him. Can you believe that? And you know what happened after? He didn't change. I just lost everything I had. That was literally the darkest period in my life. You know for women your job, your money, your income, your family, your friends are your resources. When you give all those things up, you lose your power. So as you can see, I have been struggling for a few years in that relationship. And eventually I managed to end the relationship by going to another country. And afterwards, I was physically and mentally damaged. It was very hard to put myself together because I was trying to use the cigarettes, the nicotine to try to calm my flashbacks and control my emotion. Long story short, one day I finally wake up. I finally look myself clearly because I didn't like the way I was living and I see myself from a third person view. Okay, you went to a bad relationship. You meet someone who is abusive. But why are you abusing yourself right now? What make you keep doing the bad things after you are not being trapped in a bad situation? And I realized I was the one to blame because I chose to be with him. I chose to put myself in a situation where I can get abused, where I can get treated unfairly and not leave this person. I chose to give up everything I had. Whose fault? My fault. And after the relationship, is there someone forced me to smoke, force me to drink, force me to live emotionally? No. I was the one doing that to myself. I was the one continue punishing myself when the punishing is over. So I decided to change after I recognized my pattern. My pattern by that time was looking for pain. I remember by that time I was really obsessed by heavy flavor like intense spicy. And now I look back analyzing myself. Why did I like super spicy? Do I really consider that totally tolerable or am I just looking for the pain? I was very surprised by reviewing the way I choose my life. But all the positive changes start with the day I start to analyze myself. I try to understand my behavior. Why I'm doing this thing? Why do I choose to live this way? Why do I eat this food? Why do I take the alcohol? Why do I dress certain way? I ask myself why. Have you analyzed yourself before? Have you tried to see yourself from a third person view? If you never do so, it will be very beneficial to you. When you focus on the reason why you do a certain thing, you might find a lot of your daily tasks are kind of wasting your time. I used to have a few close friends before before the relationship of course and afterwards I was all alone. After I went through the long period of being alone, it made me stronger. It made me realize that I could be my friend and I am very loyal to myself because I will be with me from thick to thin. I will have this body, this girl in my whole life. So I started to talk to myself, started to do some soothing action, be my own friends, talk to myself, encourage myself, do good affirmation. And I I realized I can be self-sufficient. I can give myself everything I need, everything I want. I don't need to rely on other people because when you rely on yourself, she will never let you down. So what I did is I talk to me like a third person. For example, when I'm getting emotional, instead of smoking or drinking, I say, "Okay, you are doing fine. What you're feeling is totally understandable because what you went through is hard. It's normal to think this way, but now there are better things to focus on. You can be better. You are beautiful. You can live a good life. You deserve good treatment. I was constantly brainwashed myself to be more positive and it made a very positive change. And you know what's funny about life? Life will give you the situation that you can handle. The greater tolerance you have, the more amazing your life can be. It can be proportional both bad and good. Let me put it in simply words. When you can stay calm when everybody around you is annoyed, when you can keep your manner when other people are mad, when you have more self-control than most people, when you can do other people can't do, you will have better life than majorities. Now I look back. Everything started with recognize my own pattern. Understand my behavior and a strong will of good. When life hits you hard, it is a time for change. It is a time for growth. Come back. It's always better than sit back. So you're wondering how to make your life better. It's quite simple. Pick one simple thing. Do it in the right way consistently for half year, one year. Life is all small things added up. If you could do one small thing consistently in the right way, you will have good result. Analyze yourself. Why are you doing this thing? Why are you thinking this way? Why do you choose this thing? Understand the logic behind your own behavior and choose consciously. For example, I'm quite confident with my figure and there are so many people constantly ask me why are you looking like this? What do you eat? What do you exercise? How do you live this way to have the perfect body? You know the truth. I was just more self-aware, a little bit more disciplined than majority. I choose with intention. That's all I did. And I did it long enough. That's why I can look this way. I have a great figure at first and I was asking myself why I kind of look this way. What made me different? And the answer to my question was I choose with intention. And once I realized that I use the same logic put in other area of my life, the way I choose my career, the way I want to live my life and it worked. It's not that hard to live a better life. All you need to do is just find one teeny tiny bit of something you're proud of in your life. Analyze it. Find out why are you doing this thing so well. Same logic. Put in other thing. If you could do one thing well, the same logic is very likely to work on other aspect. And when you have the intention of want to become a better person, want to grow, life will help you. And here is a bonus. If you want something really bad, use affirmation. Say it out loud like present tense. Say you want to look more beautiful. Then you write it down in your notebook the exactly the way you want yourself to look. Your hair looks certain way, your figure looks certain way. What's the shape? Picture them in every detail. When you affirmate as I am as what you already have, you are emphasize your brain the pattern recognition and it works. When you can picture every detail in your brain and when you see that in your reality, you will recognize it. You will know that's something you want. You are not just take whatever life gave you because you have no idea of what you want. Affirmation is a way of recognizing things. No matter it's for people or stuff or certain style of living, tell yourself good affirmation so you can recognize or have a guidance. It's like using a Google map with put in destination. You will know where you want to go and it will be more likely for you to have what you want in your real life. If this is the first time you heard about affirmation, you can go to the description link to check out my book. So this is a full book of readytouse affirmation. You can go to the sample page to have an idea of what is affirmation, how to write affirmation and write them yourself. Put in somewhere obvious so you are reminding yourself what you want. And when you're clear about what's the kind of person you want to be, you will be that person. When you can picture exactly the guy you like, you will meet that guy. When you tell yourself every day how much money you can make, how successful you can be, you will be there. It's just a matter of time. Make your dream life come true. Become the version of you that you dream to be. Be with the person that you dream to be. Have everything you want by setting a clear goal. Analyze yourself. See your pattern. Break your normal pattern and choose mindfully. Use affirmation to help you achieve your goal. Promise yourself just do it. You own yourself a better life and you can live a better life.