'Big Bang Theory' Clips to Help You Finish Out the Year

We want to predict the height of the wave. We need to use elasticity theory and model the lattice as one continuous, flexible piece. This is fun. Playing with popsicle sticks, exploring ways to store kinetic energy. It's like preschool all over again. Except now if I eat paste, it's because I want to, not because Craig Schultz is making me. Hey, can I ask you a question? Is it where was the teacher? She was in the bathroom smoking, that's where. It wasn't, but I'm glad to see you've moved on. I was going to ask if being married felt any different. Oh. Not really. Sorry, that probably wasn't the answer you were looking for. No, actually it is. Sheldon and I are in a really great place right now and I just don't want anything to mess that up. You do remember you're here because he kicked you out of your apartment. Yes. His work is important to him. It's one of the things I find the sexiest about him. Well, that and... his butt. Can I have a little snack? You sure you don't want your spy to do it? What are you talking about? You really don't trust me you'd have Amy stop by? I trust you. Yeah, you were a terrible waitress and we still asked you to get us a snack. Excuse me while I go take care of your baby, then I'll bring you your snack and you can insult me some more. I don't know about you, but I am not eating whatever she brings us. Come here. Let's get you changed. Your mommy and daddy say they trust me but they're full of the same stuff your diaper is. I feel bad. Well, she never really liked me. It's kind of nice she hates you now, too. But I'm here for you and I would never let anything happen to you because your auntie Betty loves you so much. Mama. Is that her first word? Mama. No, no, baby. I'm not your mama. Your mama's a nice lady. We're going to go see her right now so I can rub this in her face. Do you hear that, sucker? She called me mama. What's going on? What if there was something I wanted to do but I was worried other people would think less of me? Is that other person me and does it happen in the bedroom, in which case I think I'm cool with it? No. It's about working with Bert on... You know what? I'm not even going to say it. I am just going to say the letter it starts with and ology. G... Oh, no, that's not going to work. Geology? Yes, but we parted ways because I was worried about my reputation. Sheldon, you've never cared what people thought, even when you really, really should. You doing okay? No, I'm very nervous. Gift shop. There is no gift shop, sit down. This was your idea. So was having sex, and look where that got us. This isn't a big deal. Stop whining. When you were in labor and I said that, you kicked me. Howard Wallace? Yes. Want me to go with you? No, I'll be fine. Yeah, we got this. Sit down. Wish me luck. Other way, buster. Okay, this is a bit awkward. It says here that I need to check the area for redness and swelling. You know what? It hurts so much, go ahead. They're going to start making Professor Proton's science show again. I thought you passed away. He did. He was premated and his remains were put in the baking soda volcano. Don't make jokes, he meant a lot to Sheldon. Me too, I grew up watching his show. He's one of the reasons I became a scientist. Oh, thought you did it just to get girls. Joke's on you, it worked. Have they found anyone to replace him? No, not yet, and it won't be easy. Arthur Jeffries was an accomplished scientist. You know who'd make a great Professor Proton? Who? Meryl Streep. She's not a scientist. Then explain to me why she has chemistry with literally everyone. It would be nice if they cast a woman. You've already got Doctor Who and the Ghostbusters. Leave us something. Well, this party's a disaster. Don't blame the party. You know how many favors I had to call in with my bounce house guy to get Wonder Woman? Is that Wonder Woman? Technically, it's a Chinese knockoff called Happy Strong Swimsuit Lady. Then I take it back. It's a great party. You know what, you can sit here and sulk if you want. I'm gonna go celebrate Hallie's first birthday, which I planned with no help from you. What are you doing? It's a bounce house! I'm gonna go bounce in it! You're supposed to take your shoes off before you go in there. You know what? I'm stressed about my daughter's birthday party. I don't need your attitude. Well, I worked really hard on this, and you haven't even said thank you. I'm sorry. Thank you. Thank you for blaming me for everything that's wrong in your life. Thank you for walking out on our friendship. You are welcome. And thank you for mocking me for all of these years. Thank you for making it so easy! Why are you being such a jerk? Because you're my best friend, and you hurt my feelings. Well, you're my best friend, and you hurt my feelings! I can't believe you shoved me! But it was kind of fun, wasn't it? It was! Do it again! Badly! Okay, now at the same time! That was awesome! Okay, this time knees, then feet. One, two, three! Sorry if it's weird. Sheldon made me best man instead of you. It's okay. I was best man for two whole days. No one can take that away from me. Except for Sheldon when he did. Although, if you want to be a part of the wedding party, I suppose you could be the flower girl. Sold. I thought Hallie was going to be the flower girl. Oh, that's much better. Sorry, Stuart. You're out. Hey, so is Bernadette okay with me being maid of honor? Actually, I haven't had the courage to tell her. I guess I should do that. Uh, yeah. Although, as maid of honor, your job is to make my life easier. Dammit. Hey, Stuart, you still want in on this wedding? Not that much. Fine, I'll do it. But do me a favor and unlock the liquor cabinet first. Scratch paper, check. Whiteboard, check. Chex mix, check. And here we go. Oh, dang it. Hello, Mother. Hi there, Shelly. You will never believe who I ran into at the barbecue festival. I am right in the middle of some very important work. I don't have time for this right now. Then why did you answer the phone? Because you raised me to be polite. Now stop bothering me! Hello again. Who did you see at the barbecue festival? Mr. Watkins. Really? You called me and interrupted my work to tell me that you ran into somebody you could plausibly run into? Sorry, Mother, I really need to focus here. I will speak to you next week. Okay, sweetheart, I'll talk to you then. I thought Mr. Watkins moved to Florida. He was back visiting his son. Oh, gosh, darn it, that is interesting. Was it Tommy or Joe? I bet it was Joe, because he and Tommy had a falling out over that timeshare. Okay, I'm really uncomfortable with him back in that room. Why? He hasn't made a peep all day. You don't get it. All the years that we lived together, he drove me crazy the whole time. And now he's not. Exactly! Don't look at me like that. It means he did it on purpose. It was a choice. That's like finding out Godzilla could have had Arby's instead of Tokyo. I don't think they have Arby's in Japan. Not my point. Sheldon! I'm sorry, am I being too loud? No, you're being perfect and you know it. Would you like me to be a less considerate tenant? No. Yes. Stop messing with me! Hey, I was wrong. There's an Arby's in Okinawa. Marissa, how did you guys meet? Oh, it's a pretty funny story. We met in a bookstore. That is funny. Yeah, I was just there using the bathroom. But this one had a stack of books like this tall. Oh, so you really like to read. Oh no, I work there. Yeah, she is super smart. Seriously, you name like any book, she'll tell you if she's heard of it. Go on, try her. Oh, uh, catch her on the ride. Nope. Look at that, Penny. I guess we both like nerds. So, uh, we gonna take this thing out? Nah, it's a little choppy tonight. Yeah, that's okay. It's just nice sitting under the stars. It's actually kind of peaceful. Well, it's a beautiful boat. Thanks, man. We love it. Although, he's so tall, he bangs his head almost every time he goes downstairs. After the first couple, you don't even feel it. Where are our manners? Zack, let's get our guests something to drink. Got it, babe. I can't believe that guy's rich. That was a close one. Are you jealous? I know, I know. I shouldn't be. He's super sweet. I should be happy for them. It's driving me crazy, too. Really? Yeah, so I was trying to pretend like it wasn't so you wouldn't think I was petty. Turns out we're both petty. I love you so much. It's freezing out here. Do you like me to heat things up? No, I want to get in the hot tub before I lose a toe. That is bright. Yeah, a new neighbor put in floodlights. So, shall we? No, I don't want to take my robe off under a spotlight. This is a candle body. Howdy, neighbors. We haven't met yet. I'm Andy. Oh, hello. Nice to meet you. Your new balcony kind of looks right over our fence. You might want to put up some trees. We can see everything. You can, but it's okay if you don't. Can you turn your lights off? Sorry, they're motion censored. They'll go off in a minute. Just try to stay still. What are we going to do about this? I say we wait until his lights go off, and then I make hot, motionless love to you. Don't move. It's go time. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper. And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. And this is Dr. Sheldon Cooper and Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler present Dr. Sheldon Cooper's Fun with Flags. I'd like to start this episode by apologizing on behalf of Dr. Fowler, who made a wild claim last week that there was no national tricolored flag with a purple stripe, when in fact, the Estonian governor inside the Russian Empire had a purple stripe on their flag from 1721 to 1917. See? Right there in the middle. And I'd like to apologize on behalf of Dr. Cooper for having his zipper down for the entire segment on the flags of East Africa. Sorry, Tanzania. You deserve better. Okay, that's my dad. Now remember, do not bring up any baby stuff, right? Not me not wanting one, not you having one with Zach. Got it. And if he brings it up, change your subject to literally anything else. I got it. But not the Cornhuskers. Do not discuss the Cornhuskers. Is that a sports team? Never mind. You're good. Daddy! Hey, Slugger. Hi. Aww. Hey, Wyatt. Leonard. Hey. Hell of a handshake. Well, I've been taking vitamins. Come on in. Sit down. Can I get you something to drink? Maybe a beer? Sure. If you're having one, why wouldn't you? Since you're not pregnant. Um... Leonard wants to have a baby with my ex-boyfriend, Zach. How about those Cornhuskers? Amy is the one constant I can count on, and now she's changing. It's just a haircut and some clothes. No, it's the last straw. I can't take anymore. Can you believe it? They finally fixed the elevator. This is a nightmare. What's with him? He won a Nobel Prize, and his wife looks amazing. Oh, yeah. Got it. How did you get down here? The elevator. It's really fast. I need to be alone right now. Don't try to follow me. All right. You need a ride? That'd be great. Thank you. Where's Raj? He's working with Bert. They're probably cutting their stupid meteorite open with their stupid diamond saw. Are you okay? Yeah, I'm just a little run down. It might be a head cold. Purell? Can I top anybody off? Why don't you go to bed? I'll run out and get you some medicine. It's okay. Stuart gave me some when I was at the comic book store. Really? You're taking medicine from Stuart? Doesn't he need, like, all of it? He's got plenty. His pill caddy is, like, this big. All right. Well, why don't you go to bed? I'll sleep out here on the couch. No, no, no. You take the bed. I'll stay out there. Even better. Sweet dreams, snotbag. Go away, Raj. What are you doing? I'm winning you back, Love Actually style. I don't know what that means. Really? You've never seen Love Actually? If you want to watch it right now, I'll just wait. I have nothing to say to you. Look, we both made mistakes. I am so sorry that I spied on you. I didn't mean to, but I know it's not okay. Now do you want to apologize to me? You also said you don't trust me and that you barely know me. I really thought this would be more of a back-and-forth thing. Amy? There's something out here. Just trap it under a cup, and I'll be there in a minute. I'll try, but it's Leonard. Honey, I know it all feels overwhelming right now, but I promise you, things will settle down. There's no Earl Grey, you filthy liar! Hey, is Benny here? No, why? I wanted to show him my latest creation. I give you... Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler. Wow, Amy, you look amazing. Thank you. Sheldon? What do you think? I like you better the way you were. She looks beautiful. Classic lines, colors that complement her skin tone, and hair that goes from office to on the town in minutes. I don't care, put it back. I like the way I look. Well, I don't! My fault, I was out of Earl Grey. Come to a giant metal door. I check the door for traps. There are no traps. I use my wizard eye to see what's on the other side of the door. Hey, that's sort of like how you used a doorbell camera to spy on your fiancé. It's nothing like that. Your wizard eye reveals a monster. Is it alone and unloved? I guess. I open the door and say, hey Raj! Why don't you just call her? I'm sure you guys can work this out. I don't want to talk about it, let's just play. Okay, the Cyclops tells you that the enchantress you seek is staying at the Inn of the Dwarven Lords. Really? An inn? Anu is a concierge at a hotel, that's a little insensitive, don't you think? I hadn't noticed that before you mentioned it. Well, now that I've mentioned it, how do you feel? Bad. Shame on you! Zack wanted you to donate your genetic material for his baby. Yeah, so I'd be helping out a couple who really want a baby and they were going to pay us and he freaked out about it. That doesn't make any sense. They wanted you? Yes, Sheldon, they wanted me. I'm smart, I'm nice. I'm smart, I'm nice, and I can eat cheese without clearing out a room. Are you upset he didn't ask you? Of course not. I just think it's interesting that of all the people he knows, he thinks you're the best choice. Well, he does. I don't see why Penny is so against this. Perhaps Penny's worried that you haven't considered the emotional toll of knowing there's a child out there who is biologically yours, but not actually yours. Well, that's really insightful. Yeah, and I'm taller than you and I don't have asthma. These people are crazy. I can't believe they're going to cut that with this punk-ass diamond saw. Jesus. Leonard, what are you doing? Showing you that this is the better way. Stop! Whatever's inside there is dangerous. I'm pretty. What is that? Ah! Are you okay? Yeah, I'm fine. I'm just feeling a little hungry. Keep eating, Bart! Leonard! Leonard! You're having a bad dream. Oh, thank God. I was eating my friends. Well, one friend and one acquaintance. You know what, Bart's okay. Two friends. Let me see if you're running a fever. Oh, yeah. You're burning up. Are you okay? It depends. What color are my eyes? I don't know. Brown? No, green. No, wait. Brown. Oh, good. I'm awake. Oh, good. You're here. Are you still fighting? If you get divorced, do I get two Christmases? We're getting divorced. Listen, we realized that we're facing some new challenges as a married couple. Yeah, and there are a few things we need to stay on top of. So we thought it would be useful. I can't believe I am about to say this. Would you please help us make a relationship agreement? But one that's tailored to us. We don't need a bathroom schedule. Although a rule about him texting me from in there might help with the romance. What do you say? I get to write a contract? I say let's get this party of the first part started. Funny. It's in our agreement. I have to laugh. That's a nice one. Was it yours when you were little? My dad built it for me. It's so cute. This was the husband. This was the wife. They'd go out on adventures together. Cruises, skiing, horseback riding. That was really me just duct taping them to our dog. And did they have kids? They did. But the mommy and daddy didn't like them so they shipped them off to an orphanage I made out of a shoebox. That's not worrisome at all. Every girl dreams about being a mom. Sometimes you think you're never going to have kids. And one day you wake up and you're pregnant. And it doesn't matter that your career's going great right now and that you and your husband never even got to go anywhere taped to a dog. I'm going to skip spin class for this. It's going to be a while. Well, first deliveries can be slow. I'm starting to rethink the flash onesie I bought this kid. I found it but it's empty. Well, it doesn't matter. We're not going to the hospital now. Are you sure? I'd really like to. Well, should we head back up? Come on, guys. We're all awake. Why don't we go to a diner or something? Oh, I don't know, Sheldon. You don't want to do that, do you? It doesn't matter what I want. It's your birthday. You decide. Oh, my God. It's your birthday. Let's do something fun. Why don't we go to a bar? Well... Okay, I can breathe again. Babes, they want to have sex. Oh, of course. The annual birthday booty spectacular. That's a bit childish, isn't it? I'm sorry. And what flavor is your bubblegum cigar? Great. I find it the most mild. All right. Well, you two go have fun. If we find my backup inhaler, maybe we can get frisky. Oh, you sexy, wheezy little man. Would you look at that? The image we gave it was 45% white noise, and it still managed to reconstruct it. I've never seen results like this before. We need to stop for magnets on the way home. This is going right on the fridge. Aren't you glad you participated in this? Oh, I am. And you realize what the next step is. Set up a second culture and try to replicate our results. Uh, no. We lock that door, lower our underpants a little, and make a baby. Make a baby? What are you talking about? Clearly the combination of our DNA is exceptional. Our child could be the next step in the evolution of mankind. We'll be able to get into any preschool we want. Sheldon, I'm not ready to have a baby. Oh, yes, you are. I track your cycle. For the next 36 hours, you're as fertile as a manure-covered wheat field. Wow, I can actually feel the egg crawling its way back up. I'm looking for Howard Wolowitz. Howard Wolowitz? I have the right address, don't I? Address? Is he here? Uh, no. Do you know where I can find him? May I ask what this is about? No, you may not. Very well. Have him call me. Raj, who's at the door? That's not him. I wonder if this is what it feels like to be Bernadette's baby. Bernadette's baby doesn't have a jacuzzi jet hitting just the right spot. Those jets are for my secret spot, not his. What are you doing here? It's called relaxing, and that's all you need to know. Well, it's getting late. Maybe we should head home. Yeah, probably right. You coming? Yeah, just give me a minute. Why? I'm wearing a bathing suit. Yeah? I kind of went the other way. You jackasses, you'd buy yourself a hot tub! You made God sad today, Mom. Sheldon, they haven't done anything wrong. I think it's nice they're hitting it off. There's still no reason to rush into anything. Look at us. We took things remarkably slow. You and I, we didn't even hold hands for two years. It's a lot hotter than it sounds. You're a patient young lady. Hey, she's mine. Take a cold shower, Grandpa. There's a lot of traffic. Are we gonna be okay? You'll be at the airport an hour before your flight. Good, thank you. Plenty of time for you to meet another geriatric boy toy. Hey, I will not have you be disrespectful to me. Yes, ma'am. Sheldon, your mother's an attractive woman. You need to get used to the fact that men are gonna be interested in her. And you need to drive the car and mind your business. I will not have you be disrespectful to me. But you're not my mother! Don't you be disrespectful to her! Yes, ma'am. You'll get there. You just gotta put some zing on it. I'll make you a deal. 30 years from now, if you're still single and things don't work out with me and Bernadette, you and I can give it a go. I appreciate the offer, but if things don't work out with you two, I'm swooping in on her like a vulture. Too late. Stewart called dibs. But, theoretically, if you and I were in a gay relationship, how would we tell people? Like, print up announcements? I don't know. What difference does it make? I want to make sure we get invited to all the parades. Those do look fun. Yeah, well, if you want to march in a fishnet crop top, you better lay off that dip. You didn't want me to eat it. Why'd you put it out? It was for the girls. They broke up with me. I don't care if they get fat. I'm not gonna get fat. You wanna bet? You never exercise. Fine. Look, I'll exercise right now. One. These are crunches, by the way. Very mature. Keep eating like that. You're gonna have a heart attack. Okay. How about if I eat like this? You're such a child. Hey, is that any way to talk to your future husband? Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay? I would never marry you. Please, when you see the ring I pick out, you're gonna melt. Yeah, right. Wait, is it rose gold? Actually, don't tell me. I want to be surprised. What if living together kills the romance? Okay, you guys had sex one whole time. Nothing can put out a fire like that. But what happens when we each get a peek behind the curtain? She's never even seen me unshaven. You just shaved yesterday. You're good for three months. Sheldon, I understand your apprehension, but let me appeal to the scientist in you. Given the five-week end date, isn't it the perfect opportunity to consider this an experiment and collect data on our compatibility? Don't try luring me in with sexy talk. Okay. Star Trek, the original series. The Enterprise was on a five-year mission to explore new worlds. Think of this as your personal five-week mission to do the same. If you want to lure me in with sexy talk, that's how you do it. Are you proud of that? Welcome! What is this? Oh, well, you said you didn't have time to go out for dinner, so I thought we could have one right here. Oh, Rajesh. Oh, come on! We're in the telescope room. It'll be like dining under the stars. You see this double zero? When it says zero one, that means it's twinkling. Sometimes it takes a while. Rajesh, this is so sweet, but you know I'm working. That's why I already cleaned up in here and all the other rooms in the hall. Well, I suppose that gives me a little time. Oh, please sit. I tried to cook you a meal from your homeland. Oh, really? You made Cuban food? That depends. Do they have Mexican food in Cuba? We'll get the crib out and you can take it for a test drive. I'm telling you, this plan is gonna be... Oh, is it your bath? Anyway, let's just get in and see if the GPS can take us to the nearest emergency room. What was I thinking? Wallowitches are not unlifting people. We tipped the lifting people. Ours in the emergency room? They're just gonna give you ice and Advil like last time. You're gonna feel terrible when I'm in a wheelchair. Which, by the way, would fit easily in the back of this award-winning minivan. Fine, we'll go to the ER. Just stop selling me on the van. You're right. It sells itself. You have to admit, it's a pretty smooth ride. I was hoping it'd be quieter. If childbirth is half this bad, you are so screwed! Hello? Hey. So, we've been talking, and if you need a place to stay, we'd be happy to fix up the garage for you. That would be amazing! I was literally just looking at my moving boxes, trying to pick one to live in. I know it's not ideal, but you'd have plenty of space for your furniture, and there's this cool button that makes an entire wall go up and down. I cannot thank you enough! It is our pleasure. Hey, can you hold on one sec? Hello? Hey, buddy, you still looking for a place to live? Uh, yeah, why'd you ask? You know, we have the extra bedroom, and if you need it, it's yours. Oh my God, that's so generous! It's the least we can do. I really appreciate it! Can you hold on one second? Hey, so, Howard, what's the bathroom situation gonna be? Well, there's a sink out there that takes care of half your problems. But I can use the downstairs bathroom, right? Yeah, we barely use it, so it'll be like it's yours. Oh, cool. Yeah, hold on one second. Hey, what's it like sharing a bathroom with Penny? Is there hair everywhere? Does she use your loofah? I don't have a loofah. Okay, well, if I move in, you can't use mine. Hold on a second. Hey, Howard, how's the Wi-Fi in the garage? I don't know. Why are you asking all these questions? Well, to be honest, Leonard's on the other line, and he offered me the spare bedroom. Great! Go live there! But you made the garage sound so fun! I just didn't want you to feel bad about it. Unless Leonard's apartment also has a raccoon that chews its way in on cold nights? Go there! One second. Okay, I think we're close. How do you feel about a mini-fridge in my room? Hey, pal, you want to live here or not? Hi, Penny. Yes, please. Hey, what do you think we should open our show with? Thor and Dr. Jones or Let's Get Astrophysical? I think we should start with something that gets them up on their feet. Maybe Sherlock Around the Clock. Great, yep. Let's give it a try. Harry's napping! Keep it down! Right, sorry. It's cool. You don't need volume to rock. Instead of blowing the roof off this place, we can gently lift it off and set it quietly down in the backyard. Home set to Watson on Baker Street Come on, Doctor Time to move them feet Sing it with us! Sherlock, Sherlock Sherlock Around the Clock We can't hear you! Sherlock, Sherlock Sherlock Around the Clock Who's going? Sorry, sorry. I'll get her. One sec. You bought diapers, right? Be right back. They're remaking your show and they cast Will Wheaton as Professor Proton. And the worst part is, he's not even a scientist. No, the worst part is, I'm sitting on a moist log. We have to stop this and protect your legacy. What legacy? My last two seasons, I was on Sunday morning at 5.30. We were beat by Davy and Goliath. I can't believe you don't care. Believe it. Well, I care. A lot. And Will Wheaton will rue the day he ever met me. I think that's true of most people. Sometimes Amy doesn't do things because she's worried about how I'll react. First of all, it's not sometimes, it's always. Second, it's not Amy, it's everybody. And third, it's not news, it's well established. Yeah, like just now, I wanted to get a So you're saying everyone walks on eggshells to spare my feelings? No, of course not, because we don't want to hear you complain about how much you hate the sound of crunching eggshells. I don't want my relationship with Amy to be like that. Sheldon, Amy knew what she was getting into. You think? Yes, we warned her. Well, regardless, I can change. Yeah, of course you can. You know, everybody thinks I'm so predictable. Well, tomorrow I'm going to show up at work and do something no one will expect. Wear a baseball cap backwards to prove your point? Yes, but which hat? Gryffindor. Well, now that you've guessed it, I'm not going to do it. Yeah, you will. Yeah. I just talked to Sheldon. He apologized about the test and asked me to be his bus man. Uh, great. After all you've done for him, he should have asked you. And Amy's your best friend. I'm sure she'll come to her senses and pick you. Okay, she's not my best friend. We're not 12. She wants Bernadette to be her maid of honor. I really don't care. Sounds like you care. No, I mean, it's just annoying. You know, we talk every day. We see each other all the time. She's always there for me. And basically, oh my god, Amy's my best friend. You okay? No, my best friend didn't ask me to be her maid of honor. I'm pissed! So, bottom line, what you did was wrong and cruel, which the mother of my children finds oddly appealing. So, she still wants to be my maid of honor? Maid of honor, hit woman, whatever you need. Make the call. I know this is your wedding and you can do whatever you want, but if you think anyone but me is going to be your maid of honor, then you're an idiot, because you are my best friend. Too late, Bernadette. Bestie!