Nina, The Seagull, Anton Chekhov

Hi, my name is Emma Butler and I'll be performing Nina from The Seagull by Anton Chekhov. Why do you say you kiss the ground I walked on? I ought to be killed. I'm so tired. If I could just rest. Rest. I'm a seagull. No, that's not it. I'm an actress. Is there two? Well, it doesn't matter. He never believed in the theater. He always laughed at my dreams. Gradually, I too ceased believing and lost heart. And there was the anxiety of love, the jealousy, the constant fears for my baby. I grew petty, trivial. My acting was insipid. I didn't know how to hold my hands. I didn't know how to stand on stage. I couldn't control my own voice. You have no idea what it's like to know that you're acting abominably. I'm a seagull. Do you remember? You shot a seagull. A man came along by chance, saw it, and having nothing better to do, destroyed it. A subject for a short story. No, that's not it. What was I saying? We were talking about the I'm not like that now. Now I'm a real actress. I act with delight, with rapture. I'm intoxicated when I'm on the stage. And I feel that I act beautifully. Ever since I've been back, I've been walking. Continuously walking and thinking. And I think and I feel my soul getting stronger with each day. I know now. I understand, Kostya. In our work, it's all the same, whether it's acting or writing. What's important is not fame, not glory, not any of the things I used to dream of, but being able to endure. To bear your cross and have faith. I have faith now and it's not so painful. And when I think of my vocation, I'm not so afraid of life. You see Dr. Gorin? Don't say anything to him.