XAVI SIMONS SIGNS FOR SPURS & EXPRESSIONS GOES OFF OK CHELSEA FANS 🍿

When I look at the men that spurs have lost this transfer window, it's like watching a hundred men versus a gorilla, because we've had more casualties than Hobie City fans. The amount of things that we've bottled, you'd think our owners were working for Coke or Pepsi. 3am, when a man's eyes were rolling back like the Undertaker's, rolling back like Asda's prices for Brizzio Romano with a bomba. It's bigger than a bomba, it's a Mr. Bombastic, tele-fantastic. What's man talking about? James Mascoine got injured over a month ago, and the Wasteburst fans have had to wait. You would think we was on the list for a kidney. We got there, here we go again, like Mario, and even with Chelsea sniffing around like a prime Whitney Houston, Simon says, Tottenham Hotspur, blah. And I saw Chelsea go in for Sonic with the veneers, Alejandro's gone, that choke. Let me tell you this, my eyes lit up more than Southall in the Valley, fam. If Chelsea are world champions, we may as well call them Drew McIntyre, because we ran in with the money in a bank briefcase like Damien Priest, and stole their moment on the grandest stage of them all. Stolen, fam, Jay Sean, stole, Kelly Rowland. Chelsea have all the money in the world like Gwen Stefani, but they must be competing brain cells with Joe Joyce, Garnaccio, these man signed Dash from The Incredibles, Steve Urkel, Mattis Armani is looking for an Armani exchange. We're not doing that. Tory Jennings is at home smashing up his Collins Dictionary, looking like an evil Matilda. Hold that. These man signed the Argentine version of Chicken Run, just know, and us, we finally got our man like Megan Good, and it's major. This brother's been locked down for seven years, like Ramsay, fam. We pulled out the Diet Suge Knight contract, and put that on the table like ECW, just know, he can play down the middle, middle man, intermediary settings, blad. He can be on the wing like Eddie Murphy and Martin Lawrence in Life, Rude Boy. Brother, our front line has gone from Jovino to Jude Bellingham, and we ain't even played a game in Turkey, fam, 60 million, that's a steal. Leipzig must have took off money after that two-year house-sitting job that Timu Werner did. You know what I mean, fam? They took money off. You are oozing soul. D's Expression's back, and this video's sponsored by Aero. Brother, with all this transfer news compromising my health, let me tell you this, I ain't trying to go to the upper room any time soon. I go to the gym like Kerry, fam, I'm a water boy like Adam Sandler, but with Aero up, things just got better. Brother, all you gotta do is fill the bottle up with water, nothing can stop me, I'm about to Aero up. Ooh, but X, it's just a normal water bottle, fam. Never! Then, you take one of these pods, and let me tell you this, there's more flavours than a jerk chicken at Carnival, fam. Aero up flavours the water through scent, can you believe it? Cola, peach, watermelon, pineapple, virgin mojito, but let me tell you this, I'm going for the peach like James in a Roald Dahl book, fam. Taste test, let me get a taste, S-E-N-C-I-A-T-I-O-N-A-L, fam. Zero sugar, zero calories, zero problem-a. Brother, forget the fizzy drinks, forget the squash, this is what I'm talking about. Just know, with Aero up, you're getting the best of both worlds like Romeo and Juliet. They wish they had that chance, they wish! Listen, you can get 10% off now with code OOZING10, O-O-Z-I-N-G-10, or clicking the link in the description right now! This is a game changer, you can support me, you can support the channel, and you can support your health with Aero up. So click the link below, and come join me! Simon says yes to Tottenham, and he's heading to the Spurn-A-Bow, blad. What's man talking about? Javelanch Simonsational! Don't piss me off, bruv! Listen, we have needed creativity, bro, for ages, for time. Rolex, AP, blad. All of that, fam, we've needed creativity. Ever since Madison got injured, I've been crying out, bro, crying out for us to bring in a player, fam. I've seen no movement, blad. In fact, the movement I have seen was Strobe Lightning FX, blad. Lost Morgan Gibbs White, blad. You get me, bruv? Battered by Eze, fam. Do you know what I mean, fam? Starting about this brother from Como, these men are willing to spend 70 million on some, some brud, I don't know, some brother from the Sopranos, fam. Do you know what I mean? What are we thinking? You get me? Flirting with Morgan Rodgers, yeah, when there's more chance of us getting Roger Rabbit. But let me tell you this, Tottenham Hotspur, you have outdone yourself, bruv. I said, Javelanch Simons, Chelsea have been flirting with this guy all window, blad. They bought him flowers. You get me, fam? The reservation, fam. You know what I mean? Book the car. These men did everything. Chelsea did the full scouting report, blad, for us. You know them way there, fam? When man want to run joke, these man paid the Uber for us. You know like that? This man talking about, fam, Kings Road, Cobham FC, bruv, hold that. You man brought in brother Sonic with the veneers, you know, bruv. I'm telling you, fam, a man that runs with his head down into traffic, blad. Do you know like that, fam? Bro, you've missed out on a quality, quality player. This brother's more important to the Netherlands than a coffee shop, fam. I'm being serious. Do you know what I mean? Telling you can use both feet, bruv. You get me? The man, he can open up a master lock. You know what I mean? I've seen him in the Euros. I've seen him for Leipzig and Leipzig, they're dead food. I'm not even going to pretend like they're not. Do you know what I mean? But this guy is a quality footballer, bruv. And we have needed this sort of quality. He walks straight into the team. He improves our squad 100%. Ask me if I'm getting top four. I mean, top five now, blad. Ask me, blad. And it's not over. We need more. Do you get me, fam? We need more, blad. But this is a great start, fam. 60 million as well. Seven-year contract, blad. I didn't know we had the Suge Knight contracts in us. I didn't think we had paper big enough for them contracts, blad. I'm not even going to lie. But I'm telling you, yeah. As much as man want to run the owners, man want to cook them and do all of that. Man needs to give credit where it is due, blad. This is a top signing that I was looking for. Him and Kudus, bro. Two top signings in this window, fam. Everyone was laughing at us. Laughing at us, bruv. Bruv, they call us the Pittsburgh Steelers, bruv. You know them way there. Because, brother, we came in with the briefcase. And man said, take that. Give me that. Like Chris Brown, fam. Do you know what I mean? Give me that. That's what it is, fam. Yo, I can't wait to see him in a Spurs shirt. I can't wait to see him in a Spurs shirt, fam. Bro, I heard that man did his medical at all 4 a.m. He could all be playing on the weekend against Jason Bourne, blad. What's man talking about, bro? Let me tell you this, fam. This is a signing that we needed. And we need more. But before we go on to what we need, bruv, let's just talk about what we've got through the door. Because I'm telling you, Chelsea, I pissed, you know. Big man ting. Bro, I tried to call Rory Bartholomew Jennings. You're like, expressions. And I know the Javi Simons deal. I know you're pretty excited about it. But obviously, I had a video in the back end of my YouTube. I'm going to pause the back end of that, Rory. You can't be saying them sort of thing. Yes and no. Don't interrupt me. Expressions, please. I would just like you to just take care of Javi Simons for me. Please do that. And as for Alejandro Garnacho, please just cut him some slack. Like, he plays for the Chelsea now. So I believe that he'll do it. He won't do anything, Rory, blad. What's man talking about? Mattis' glasses are steaming up, fam. Man turned his studio into a sauna, blad. You know them way there, fam. Trust me, he's making a video right now and wiping his glasses. Because he can't see, blad. He can't see, blad. It is what it is, fam. You man deserve this, blad. But world champions, blad. That world championship is like the 24-7 title, blad. The speed title in WWE, blad. No one don't care about that. What's man talking about? Nah, fam. Bro, we needed this. We needed this signing. And he is going to cook at Tottenham, bro. Thomas the Frank engine. Choo-choo, blad. Brother. Undefeated in the league. No goals conceded, blad. And he's done that all without a creative midfielder, bruv. All without a creative midfielder, bro. This is our time, bro. Let me tell you. This is my time like Triple H, fam. Javi Simons. Simons says. You know what I mean? I'm cooking, bruv. You know what I mean, fam. Make sure you guys smash a like. You know them way there. Comment, share, subscribe. All of that. And yeah, I'll be back, fam. Brother Javi Simons, blad. What's man talking about? This is what we need, fam. This is what man's been crying out for. The gas levels, blad. All gas. No brakes like Jacob Fartu. What's man talking about? Listen. You can get 10% off now with code OOZING10. O-O-Z-I-N-G 10. Or clicking the link in the description right now.