Why Decluttering Never Works (It’s Not About Stuff) Minimalism Decluttering Tips.

Join me live at Mindful Simplicity for Women, a community helping women to slow down and simplify, learning practical ways to transform their lives together. Go to school.com forward slash mindful simplicity. Let me ask you something gently. Have you ever looked around your home and thought, why do I still have all this stuff? And not in like a judgy way, but in an honest way, where you're really trying to resolve why you are holding on to so many belongings. Because clutter isn't necessarily just about cleaning up messes and organizing. Sometimes our belongings mean so much more to us. They hold memories. They hold identities. They hold past lives that we've lived. And it can be hard to let go of things when they mean so much to us. So if you've ever struggled letting go, this video is for you. Because we are going to be talking about what our belongings actually mean to us. Clutter is not just physical stuff. It holds ideas, toxic relationships, and bad habits. Emotional clutter usually hides in plain sight because it's not really about the quantity or the volume of things that we own, but rather our emotions that are tied up in what we own. Many of us keep things that we don't use and we don't need. Not because we're necessarily hoarders or that we're messy. It's usually because of what these items make us feel. What kind of sentimental things does it bring out within us? And this is why decluttering and removing these items not only can feel very exhausting, but also incredibly emotional. And we'll be decluttering a closet and all of a sudden we're crying and we don't know why. It's because our belongings are also connected to our emotions. This is why traditional decluttering and organizing advice sometimes doesn't always work because it's not addressing this emotional tie that we have to our stuff. Decluttering can be complicated, which is why I created the Mindful Decluttering Course, helping you make your home a clutter-free sanctuary. You'll find the link below. Some objects carry a lot of memories, right? Like this sweater that you have and every time you look at it, it's like you are right back to the night you wore that sweater. Or even a box of seasonal decorations all of a sudden evokes all this nostalgia that of all the years you've had with your family and holidays and memories tied into this. It can be tied up in our identity. Maybe, you know, a pair of shoes that you once owned somehow is tied up to this fun, vibrant, younger side of yourself. But the truth is is that our memories are not tied up in our stuff. Our memories reside within us. If you were to close your eyes right now and envision, remember a time in your life when you were so happy and carefree and in love and everything was going great, you could recall all of this memory without holding a single object. Letting go of these items will not erase your memory. It will not erase how you feel about that time, that place, or even that person. We'll always be with you. Guilt, obligation, and also that someday fear-based decisions that we make around our items can really play a big part on how challenging it is to give away something. Guilt around how much money we've spent is a big one. I'm going to share a story with you. Many years ago, I bought a pair of cowboy boots that were very expensive and I had always wanted cowboy boots and I loved these cowboy boots. They were so cute except for one thing. They hurt my feet so bad. They were so painful and every time I wore them, no matter how many times I tried to break them in, they gave me blisters. But I held on to those cowboy boots for years and years and I'd always go to my closet and put them on and I'd try to wear them out and then they'd give me blisters and I'd go back in the closet because I kept them because they were so expensive. I had so much guilt tied up to even just thinking about getting rid of them and someday holding on to things out of the someday that usually guys that someday does not happen and when we get to a place where we feel really confident and trust in our own ability that if that someday were to arise that we would be able to adapt to it and handle that situation just fine, it makes it easier to let go of these someday items. Clutter can be really tied to our identity. Whether it's an identity of our past life, an identity of who we think we're supposed to be or maybe it's an identity of who we used to be but if we let go of it somehow we will not be that anymore. It's kind of like our proof. Our proof that we did this. Our proof that you know we taught Latin. It's our proof that we were a parent. It's our proof and so we hold on to things based on identity. When I let go of almost all of my possessions in 2008 during the recession, wow this was a huge wake-up call for me because my identity was literally wrapped up in all of my possessions and because of that it was very hard to let go. What letting go will actually give you is yes, less clutter but also by working through what your belongings mean to you it is very therapeutic and because of that you learn a lot about yourself, who you were, why things are important to you, your memories. You can honor these in a healthy way but also your future and it's very insightful too finding that line between who you used to be and the woman you are becoming and in the end it's not about stuff. It's about your emotions and you start to feel lighter. If you have been feeling weighed down by your possessions I hope that this video has helped a little bit and as you embark on decluttering take it slow have compassion for yourself and really honor who you are today and the feelings that come up with all of your belongings. I do not suggest just unintentionally decluttering and getting rid of everything because that usually comes with some regret. Be intentional, be mindful and honor who you are today and the woman you are becoming. Thank you so much for joining me today. Have a beautiful day my friend.