How to Build Discipline & Change Your Life

Discipline. It's the secret sauce to every successful person that you've ever admired, but building it, you have no idea. Do not fear because by the end of this video, you will have unshakable discipline built from the actual real life science and the strategies that follow. And trust me, it's not as hard as you think. I am so passionate about ensuring that you live your best possible life and exit your flop era because unfortunately, I understand all too well the intense pain that we go through when we are in the midst of a flop era and just constantly feeling worse and worse and worse about ourselves. But that ends here, my friends. However, if you do want to turn off, then be my guest. Before you go, there is just one lesson that is entrenched in science that I want you to take away. Learning to be disciplined is just like growing a muscle. Studies have shown that the area responsible for decision making and impulse control, aka the prefrontal cortex, can be trained. And the more you use it, the stronger you get. Every time you don't hit the snooze button, every time you don't text that fuckboy, every time you say no to the £100 ASOS order that you do not need to make room for your long-term goals. Okay, you can click off now. Now I'm just left with those of you who are serious about never letting your self-control get the better of you ever again. Here is the checklist for actionable steps on how to build discipline along with timestamps if you would like to skip to the chapter that is more in line with what you need to work on. Step one, set clear and specific goals. You will not need to watch another goal setting video after this. Setting goals sounds obvious, but here's the kicker. Vague goals like, I want to get fit, just will not cut it. Instead, we have to make them ultra specific because you cannot be disciplined if you cannot define what it means to be disciplined. When you have a clear plan, you know when you stray from your clear plan. I'm sure you've all of SMART goals, but I'm going to go one step further and introduce you to the pyramid method. At the very top of the pyramid, you have your goal which will be laid out using the SMART format. SMART stands for Specific, Measurable, Relevant, Achievable, Time-bound. I want to get healthy becomes I will run a 5k in under 30 minutes in the next two months so that I can improve my cardiovascular health and so that I live a long and happy healthy life. Or I want to get better at money becomes I will save for a deposit for a house in a year to support my long-term financial goals. Next layer of the pyramid is the two checkpoints. Pick two time frames, not just the end time frame so that you can reassess your goals, see how you're getting on and make any adjustments if needs be. This will keep you accountable but also means that you can make any reasonable adjustments if maybe you don't have as much time or even you've reached your goal and now you want to push further. Final layer of the pyramid, the most important one, is you are going to pick three habits. These three habits are going to form the basis of how we work towards our goal and not only that, we will use them to assess whether we have been disciplined. Take our saving goal for example, habit number one could be work one hour every morning on my side hustle to earn more money and habit number two could be bring my lunch and my coffee into work every day to save approximately £5 every day, £25 a week and £100 a month and finally habit number three could be invest that £5 that we have saved into a low risk investment like an index fund and voila you have three flashing neon signs indicating whether you are being disciplined or not disciplined. You wake up late and you don't work on your side hustle, you know your discipline has slipped, you don't prepare your lunch the night before and you end up buying a soggy chicken sandwich in the canteen. Setting you back about £4.50, you know your discipline is out the window or you decide that you'd rather want a brand new dress for a night out instead of looking in your wardrobe or what you already have to save some money and align with your future financial goals, your discipline is down the drain. These specific red flags that you are going to build off your habits mean that you can take note and make the necessary changes immediately. Step number two, develop a routine and stick to it. Imagine never struggling with discipline ever again. The secret? Habits and consistency. I have a whole video on this called the millionaire matchmaker method where I break down my personal habit building system that has meant that my habits are so ingrained into my muscle memory I don't even have to think, I just do. Building a habit up so much that you don't even have to think means your brain doesn't even have time to negotiate with you and try and talk you out of your morning gym session because maybe it's raining or try and convince you that you don't really need to save any money because there's a whole Sephora basket filled with stuff that you don't really need. Consistency is key. Create a routine that aligns with your goals and stick to it. This obviously builds a habit and makes the task easier over time but there is another way that you can make this even easier. Combine the habits that you want to do with things that you already enjoy and combine the habits that you want to break with things that you don't like. Perfect example, when I wanted to cycle into work to get my exercise in every single day without adding on any extra time, I would tell myself that if I cycled in I could listen to a podcast or music that I enjoyed whereas if I did the habit that I wanted to break aka driving into work, I could only listen to an educational podcast which let me tell you was not as riveting. Step number three, harness dopamine. P.S. if you are enjoying this video then please don't forget to like, comment, subscribe so I know that you want to see more videos of the same. Your brain loves small wins. The feeling that you get when you cross off your to-do list. Check off your habit tracker or just tell a friend that you have achieved something that you set out to do. Conversely, your brain hates consequences and this is nothing new. Science will tell you that the effectiveness of rewards and consequences in behavior modification are well evidenced and documented. You already know what the red flags are when you know you aren't being disciplined so now it's time to make a psychological contract with yourself. So if you do not stick to the habits that you set out to do, there will be Tools I love to use for this to keep track of what I'm rewarding myself for versus what I'm setting consequences for are habit trackers. I will link my favorite notion one down in the description box. Accountability buddies I love because that makes it a lot easier to stick to a consequence. For example, if I don't set out to do a task that I've told myself I will do, I will say to my boyfriend, okay cool don't let me watch TV tonight and he won't. It's a lot easier for him to not let me watch TV than for me to stick to that. Also the humble to-do list. Step number four, curate your environment. Your surroundings might be the reason that you are not disciplined. Arrange your environment both in the digital and the real world to support your goals. If your goal is financial freedom, why do you have all those shops bookmarked on your browser homepage? If your goal is improving your physical health, why when you open the fridge is the first thing that you see processed food? If your goal is fixing your mental health, why is your phone right by your bed from the moment that you go to sleep to the moment that you wake up? Your discipline is a finite resource especially when you're building it up so why are you making it hard for yourself? Step number five, practice mindfulness and stress management. Stress could be sabotaging your discipline and here's how to fix it. You may have a neurodevelopmental disorder which affects your prefrontal cortex like me, meaning it's a little bit harder for you to build up discipline. Not impossible though. The neurodevelopmental disorder that I'm referring to is of course ADHD but did you know that the symptoms of ADHD like impulsivity and poor concentration can be mimicked by people who are stressed and burnt out? If you think that discipline is about being hard on yourself and making your life as miserable and painful as possible, stop here right now. You can leave because that is not the aim at all. Do you know what's truly hard and painful? Waking up every single day and feeling like a failure, feeling unfulfilled or feeling like you aren't showing up yourself or showing yourself the respect to make decisions that align with your future goals. Being disciplined is about carving out a life that you love and you are proud of by ensuring that short-term actions match with the wishes of future you. But stress can derail even the most disciplined person so putting yourself under unnecessary negative pressure is not going to help anyone. Practices like meditation and deep breathing can clear your head, keep stress at bay and keep you on track. If you have a goal that you want to achieve maybe pop it down in the comment section down below to see if there's anyone else who's willing to help you out and be your accountability buddy. This is my video about habit building and this is another video that you may also enjoy. So there you have it, five evidence-based steps to building discipline. If you did enjoy the video please don't forget to like, comment, subscribe. I hope you have a wonderful, wonderful, wonderful week and I will see you in the next video. Right, let's get it out of here.