We're House Poor And Living Paycheck-to-Paycheck

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. I don't know if we'll be able to continue making house payments because my husband is a spendthrift and we can't keep up with our monthly minimums due to how much debt he's racked up in the year that we've had. That we bought our house and now we are paycheck to paycheck. What has he racked up? $12,000 in credit card debt in a year. Okay, what is the minimum payment on that $12,000? So it's all different. It's six different, actually seven different credit cards. Okay. The monthly minimums are about $715 a month for all of them. What's your mortgage payment? $3,138. What's your combined income? So I'm not currently working. Well, I'm a stay-at-home mom. He makes net $140,000 a year. And is he feeling this weight? We know you are. Is he feeling this? I don't think he's feeling it as much as... He's definitely not feeling it as much as I am, but I laid it all in front of him basically to show him everything on paper. And he kind of got it, I think, but this was back in November. And at the time he had agreed, he loves Sklarna and Sizzle. And I don't, I hate them, but he thinks that it's fine to do the paying for things because no interest or whatever. So he agreed in November not to spend on those for Christmas gifts. And I thought that we were on the same page. He had agreed and come to find out he actually did use Sklarna and Sizzle. And he actually just finished paying off the last payment this past week, but we almost weren't able to make our car payment. We had to try to get scrounge around for cash to pay for our car payment. So this was very recent and I want to get Jade involved here, but I'm just kind of gathering some more information here. What were the comments? What has the conversation been? We know what happened in November. Now here we are just the other day scrambling around for quarters, if you will, to make a car payment. What was the conversation then? It's almost like he doesn't really want to have the conversation. It's almost like he's digging his head in the sand. He doesn't want to face the consequences. And a little backstory, he is a recovering alcoholic. And I really truly believe that the spending it's because it's what's replaced. That changes the equation. Jade, I know you've got thoughts. I want you to weigh in here for her. Well, I mean, definitely the reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. Hey guys, George here with an important heads up. Mortgage interest rates just dropped. And that is great news. If you've been holding off on house hunting or refinancing, but it also means a lot of other people are about to jump back into the market. And my good friends at Churchill Mortgage will give you a custom plan and a special offer. So you can buy or refinance the smart way before the market shifts. So go check it out by going to churchillmortgage.com slash Ramsey offer. That's churchillmortgage.com slash Ramsey offer. This is a paid advertisement NMLS ID 1591 NMLSconsumeraccess.org equal housing lender. The reveal of the past alcoholism plays a big role in this. I wonder, would he be open? Have you said that to him that this is your fear and this is how you're perceiving this? I have said it to him. We actually are in marriage counseling. We're in individual counseling, which thankfully is covered by our insurance. He has very good insurance with his job. And we are in marriage counseling, but so far it we're working on addressing it, but it's like slow going. It's not getting anywhere. It's getting, yeah, it's very slow going. Okay. Yeah. I mean, we can talk about numbers, but this really is just beyond a numbers equation. I mean, just really quickly, I can tell you, uh, your mortgage is 35% of your take-home pay. It seems like, which is already a little high. I mean, it's nothing to like freak out over, but when you add $715 a month of credit card debt, yeah, you're going to feel it. So that's the mechanics, you know, numbers wise of why you're feeling this a little bit more, but the truth is until he gets a handle on why he's spending and what the issue is, it's going to be a problem. Now, I don't know if you've suggested this in counseling. I'm trying to put myself in your shoes. If I were in your shoes, what I would bring to my counselor is this. I would say, I believe, um, clearly my husband has struggled with addiction. I think that he has found a way to not use alcohol anymore, but I feel like it's shifted to spending. And because of that, I'm starting to think that maybe for a season, I should be the one to handle the finances since his addiction seems to be functioning in our money and it's causing those problems. Do you handle it? I had a question about that anyway. It's a very good point. Do you handle the finances or is he? So interesting to say that I have been asking to do the budgeting and everything as a partnership together. So far, he has not really wanted to do it. He just wants me to do it. But at the same time, I think that's good. Just recently, he just recently put his direct deposit in to the joint account up to now, literally last week. Um, it hasn't been. So he finally put in a joint account and he, he has kind of like washed his hands of it. He's like, doesn't want it. Great news. That is great news. Now I want to jump in really quick because our time is limited. Practically speaking, do you both have car payments? Or is it just one? I thought I heard a car payment. It's just, it's just his. Yeah. Mine is paid off. Okay. Cause I'm wondering what you can start to do since he's taking the hands off. So we need to look at selling that car. That's going to be a tough conversation, but I'm looking at what are some quick things. I get it. I get it. It's why I acknowledged may not be the right one to go after right now, but with you now taking over the finances, what can you do? Can you cancel the credit cards? If your name's on them, you cancel the credit cards today. Let's make this a real pain for him. Uh, Jade, I want to bring you back into that. You got about a minute. What would you practically do if you were her? I would, I would make it more formal. I love that he shifted it that way, but I would almost, like I said, with your counselor, decide the best way to do this. He doesn't need access to the money on his own. He just doesn't because he's proven that he can't control spending. And that is an addiction. Spending is an addiction, especially it looks like it in his case. And so I would take a little tougher stance on that and say, okay, I, when you say I'm in charge of the money, that means I'm going to distribute in the way that I'm going to distribute it, which this is only for a season until you can get well again. And then we'll be really 50, 50 on this again. And I would take a pretty strong stance on that because your family, uh, their safety is at stake and so is yours. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.