Med School Study Vlog 🙇🏻‍♀️ Residency Apps, Deadline Season & Late Nights

I need to bring out the big guns the iPad this is crazy if only I had a dual monitor screens like so I could avoid using that thing again where she just films and doesn't talk about what's going on alrighty so good morning slash afternoon I wrote afternoon now happy Sunday I wasn't planning on vlogging and then I kind of realized everything that's going on and thought that this would probably be something that I want to document not only for you guys but also for me so straight from the get-go I'm gonna give a sense of what's going on and it's chaos just for a bit of background it is what's the day today it is Sunday November 23rd at 12 p.m. and my residency applications are due in four days that's bad you guys it's grim if you haven't seen my videos before I'm a Canadian medical student I'm in my fourth year which means it's my last year and what happens is that after four years of medical school we have to go on and apply to residency as part of that you have to apply to these programs and there are a lot of things that the application entails and it's something that we've been working on for many many many months now most acutely what we have going on are our personal letters basically where you get to talk about you know a little bit about yourself your experiences and your motivations to join that program and it is kind of like just a crappy situation all the way around because you know you have to do this obviously while you're juggling your clinical rotations and whatever other responsibilities that you have but it's also 100% my fault because I had so much time to do this and I'm leaving it to the absolute last minute I have been like actually crashing out like I'm going back to my high school early undergrad days where I'm sleeping at like 2-3 in the morning because I'm working on these letters yeah I thought that there would be some utility in seeing me kind of crash out and these applications especially if you're going through something similar I'm talking so fast so join me as I clean up one of the letters that I am writing and then after that we can properly start our day I'm always like oh it's fine I just have to cut a few words and cutting a few words actually takes like a full half hour I'm so calm I'm literally the calmest person I know yes friends that is under a thousand words okay so that's done my room is a disaster evidently but what I think I'm gonna do is that I'm going to start working on my next letter and when I reach the point where I am pulling my hair out then I will take a break from that by cleaning my room okay can you can you say that again where where is it thinning tell me where it's thinning here like where my part is oh my gosh you're so mean to me mom no it's not no okay now do it from really high up hi guys welcome to my otg in the Canadian winter my hat is from uh my vest oh thank you my vest is from no sideways my pants are from cd nixon my boots are blundstones and then these Birkenstocks I'm bringing for the clinic bringing for the clinic tomorrow I just got confirmation that my last reference letter was submitted thank God because that is due in Wednesday and I was just freaking out that my reference was just not gonna have that down here's the current setup a messy desk as always but here's what we have going on a very humble laptop dinner is just being made while I trudge along and work away oh I'm so exhausted but uh like I literally have no choice like it has to be done the solace in all of this has been all of my friends going through the same thing and we're all just messaging each other absolutely crashing out because we're all like oh my god like I just can't write this letter and it is nice when you go through a traumatic experience with friends so that's where we're at so this guy again Monday first day on a new rotation we're back in the clinic today I haven't been here since the beginning of September when I started fourth year and I had such a bad crash out at that time that's a bit traumatizing having to go back but now we have the added stress of having our CARMS applications due um I ideally want to submit mine by tomorrow or Wednesday and the application is still very incomplete so I'm gonna get changed and we gotta make our way to the hospital I don't know girl I'm always nervy in my first rotation my first day of a new rotation is always the worst you guys I am very nervy always have the first day nerves even though this is like my billionth rotation at this time hey guys guess what so I'm like literally losing it I'm like literally losing my mind it's almost nine o'clock and on my list the first thing on my list was to edit this one letter the letter was done the letter was done but it was severely over the limit the maximum was 500 what was I at 743 three freaking hours later where are we at I don't want to be right on 500 because it's like a little bit scary but that's where we are right now let me just quickly read this it's nine o'clock I have to go to bed at like 11 at the latest because I like sleeping seven hours I'm losing my mind and the only thing that will solve it is a truffle parmesan fry and I don't even doubt that okay let's double check this one so this one I think is already written I just need to read through it and make sure it's not hot flaming garbage like all of my other letters are sir you guys join me as I freaking do that now I'm actually having a proper crash on because I realized that there's a whole component of the comms application that I didn't know and takes forever and everybody has already done but I haven't done and that is manually inputting all of your information into the comms website and it's already 10 o'clock I wanted to sleep at 11 at the very late just because I have to go to work tomorrow and now I'm considering like uh do I just like say screw it and just sleep really late and just suffer tomorrow if it means that I can get all my work done I have no idea but I'm having a freak out oh my god you guys this is like when you're doing like you know you're like in high school or something and then you realize last minute that you have an essay due tomorrow and you haven't started it why do you have a specific one for one school how's your cv seven pages not not your cv but in the website but what does it matter bro like let's I didn't design it but I just think that's the impression that I'm getting that they want from us is 144 in the beep big morning and we have updated our experiences to include work research and now I'm working on publications and presentations and it turns out they want all the information from my inception since I was an embryo since I was a fetus since I was a zygote since I was a blastocyst I will update once I finish my experiences god bless and thank you it's now two thirds because I was so stressed hey guys I'm in my emotional breakdown stage but that's just part of the game um it's now past three in the morning unfortunately was not able to finish my personal letters today like I was hoping but I have a full day tomorrow and so hopefully by the end of that full day I would have submitted my application and honestly it will be just such a relief so tomorrow's gonna be a very very big busy working day obviously gonna take you guys with me I'll try and show some interesting moments because I feel like this vlog is already getting way way too long but I kind of wanted to show the realities of what this process has been good night finally I'll see you guys in the morning it's the Tuesday and I just woke up feeling so terrible like I can't describe just how treacherous the last few days have been like my hair is shedding from the stress I barely got any sleep last night now I still have a bunch of personal letters that I am editing but really the main goal is that I want to submit tonight by the earliest tomorrow but for the absolute latest and this is like obviously my fault I just did not anticipate how much work I had left to do like I had started early and so I thought that I had time to finish everything but I realized that you know all of the work that I started was pretty half-assed and it would require me going back and redoing the whole thing so this has honestly been one of the most treacherous parts of med school yet I'm just so like irritable I feel like I'm being horrible to the people around me and I'm being horrible to myself as well but we will persist I still have the full day ahead of me I'm gonna go to a diner and have something to eat because I think I'm also just partially hangry I just I don't want this to scare people this once again this is a product of my own doing I kind of set myself up in a bad position here and now I'm kind of scrambling to get things done and having to do that on top of all of my clinical responsibilities it's just so it just sucks but it's going to be done it's going to be done because it has to be no I'm ashamed of you I know you're not now like it's too far into it that you I cannot have you look at me right now what are you doing is on can you do give me a quick checklist if I'm missing anything and you have the green check mark yes I have the green check marks yeah you're fine I'm gonna send this to you when you're a resident oh god what does it say submitted we go up it's submitted okay it's okay one more than this it's some time later it's now 11 p.m my friends left it was a really good productive session where we kind of were just like what are all the other possible things that we could be missing and just um worked a bit on my application a bit more um sorry I had such a sad reaction um in the beginning we'll see how much I keep in I think it was just kind of a hard day for me trying to you know get everything done in such a short span of time this I'll insert a little bit later but I got a message from somebody that their co-worker's niece god bless her she's the sweet sweet little girl and she was unfortunately diagnosed with lymphoma there is this really lovely initiative run by someone in Canada I'll put the information in the screen up here for some kids that have cancer they have this thing called a port-a-cath which is this device that is inserted under the skin and it just allows for easy access for them to get their chemotherapy and it's really tough because the kids have to like remove their shirts all the time to access it in honor of this niece that was recently diagnosed with cancer they wanted to do this big bulk donation for shirts so that they can put the zippers in it and donate it to kids with cancer that need it and honestly this came at like such a good time not to make it these about me obviously but I think it really helped contextualize my problems where you know I'm not trying to minimize the difficulty of what's going on obviously residency applications are very difficult that you know just because somebody has a more unfortunate situation going on doesn't minimize what you're going through but it does put things into perspective you know that this is a big honor and I'm very fortunate that this is the problem that I'm dealing with there are some kids out there that you know are diagnosed with cancer and now have to spend um like Christmas and stuff in the hospital so anyway before I start crying I kind of wanted to show some of the things that we got Cecilia and I went crazy at Old Navy and I wanted to show you what they were cat long-sleeve I feel like they're getting really fancy with the designs like then we got some shirts as well 100 cotton clothing and so we got a quite a variety this one has a little heart patch guys oh here's a really big one this guy's look at the design on this cutie long sleeve again like these would be really good as an underscroll this pinky one I was really happy to have a little bit of a break to do this it was a fun little side quest and honestly it reframed how I was looking at these residency applications I'm still stressed out of my mind my hair is still falling out I am still crying every hour but it was very very very nice to have this reminder about why I am doing what I am doing tomorrow when we submit our application I will see you guys then it's currently 5 30 p.m I just got back from clinic and I'm honestly just a bundle of stress and nerves today is the day that I am finally submitting my CARMS residency application it's been such an arduous journey it has been so difficult and I'm so excited to be at the very tail end of it as we can see my document assignment status is all check check check check check check check check and that can only mean one thing I have finally completed everything necessary for my residency applications oh my god I'm not even trying to be melodramatic this was really freaking hard it took so much out of me and I'm just really really really relieved to get it done I think all that's left to do is to hit submit let me just click that it is Wednesday November 26 at 7 10 and we are going to submit applications I'll obviously blur all of this but what's most important is submit ladies and gentlemen of the jury we have submitted yay oh my god oh I'm so so relieved that I've got this done this has been many many weeks and months in the running and it's just such a relief to finally be at this moment I'm so grateful I'm in this position and I'm really excited for whatever next step this journey will take us it's crazy to think that we've just submitted our applications for residency thank you guys so much for watching and for your endless love and support I'll see you guys in the next one