5 Mistakes Foreigners Make While Dating In Vietnam

When your Vietnamese girlfriend is mad, what not to say? When your Vietnamese girlfriend is mad, you don't say anything. You're Vietnamese, so do you date Vietnamese guys or you date white guys? How do I answer this question? Hi everyone, welcome back to my channel. Today, I have Peter from Broke the Habit to join our video today. How are you feeling? Very nervous. We're going to talk about love. Love? Yeah, tình yêu. Tình yêu. Okay, yes. But in today's video, we're going to talk about how not to date Vietnamese girls. We're going to cover some no-no's etiquettes, what not to do, what not to say to win Vietnamese girls' hearts. Disclaimer. This, everything I say is my own personal antidote. I'm not trying to generalize. I'm just speaking from my own experience, you guys. The purpose of this video is based on our personal experiences and we just want to educate and share our stories with curiosity and humor. We're not trying to promote stereotypes or generalization. So open-minded comments are welcome, but then we're going to block any comments that promote racism, sexism, or disrespect. Like, keep it fun, kind, and respectful. Yeah, so if you leave any creepy comments, you're getting blocked. I see you. Bye-bye. Yes, so yeah. Without further ado, let's start with our rapid-fire questions, shall we? All right, you ready? No. A nice restaurant or coffee date for the first date? Usually walk in the park and coffee because I don't know if they're crazy, right? Why would you go to a restaurant and then you sit down and you're like, oh no, I'm stuck with them for like two hours. So you'd rather have the first date in the park so you can run away? Yeah, I can run away. Exactly. Okay. Should you pick her up or meet her there? Is this in Vietnam? In Vietnam. Meet her there. Why? Because most foreigners cannot ride motorbikes. If this is your first time, then I'll meet her there. Or if I know a bike, I'll go get her. Ah, I see, I see. But did you know Vietnamese girls prefer to be picked up? Yes. Okay. Yeah, and that's how I slowly learned how to ride a motorbike. Oh, okay. Good reason to learn, huh? She said no sex before marriage, yay or nay? For me, it's a nay. Nay, why? Oh man, this is going to be bad. How do I say this without sounding off like a typical guy? You need to see compatibility. Okay. And intimacy is a big part in a relationship. Yes, not everyone, but for you, it's very important. Okay, agree. Sex on the first date, red flag or green flag? I think go with the flow. It sounds like go with the flow. It sounds like a Kevin Wing type of joke. But it sounds like a Playboy answer. But I think if you just go with it without expectations, and then one thing leads to another, right? Two consenting adults, yeah. It's a difference between cultures, right? Who pays for the first date? You, her, or split? If I like her, me. Okay, if you don't like her, so split? Split, yeah. Oh, okay. When your Vietnamese girlfriend is mad, what not to say? When your Vietnamese girlfriend is mad, you don't say anything. It's called, I'm going to teach you guys, chieu. You know how to chieu? Yes. So you just deal with their like, just like, their attitude, and you just take it. It's a great sign of patience, right? Because the more you talk, the more you call them out on it, it's going to blow up. You learn how to be patient. I see, I see. That's what I've learned. I think girls in general really like a guy. They like to be babies. That's true, that's true. So you have to be very patient. Okay, I agree, yes. Three words to describe Vietnamese women? This is a very scary topic. Three words? Yes. Strong, independent, caring. Oh, okay. Very opposite. Strong and caring. Depends, because there is a stereotype where like, different regions have different personality traits. Yes, that's true. So like, what do you think about Northern Vietnamese girls? You can break down Northern even more. Người Hải Pháp versus Người Hà Nội. That's true, yes. You want to tell us? You want to inform the audience? I mean like, I'm from Hà Nội, so I would say like, Hà Nội and women are more traditional. And then also like, we have the saving face culture. So sometimes whatever we say doesn't necessarily mean what we think. Yeah, so sometimes we say có là không, like yes is no, no is no, or no is yes. So sometimes you have to read mind a little. But like, in Southern, I feel like women are more open-minded. I don't know, we just have very different culture in terms of dating. Before moving on to longer and spicier questions, I would like to shout out to our sponsor today, Surfshark VPN. When you're dating online, especially in a new country like Vietnam, keeping your personal information safe is super important. That's why Surfshark VPN helps block ads, trackers, and malware so that you can focus on building the real connections without any distractions. Surfshark also keeps your chats and data private by preventing hackers or third parties from snooping on you. It hides your real location by changing the IP address so that scammers or anyone trying to track you won't know where you actually are. What I love the most about Surfshark is that it creates alternative email for signing up on dating websites or dating apps so that your personal information is secure. And if your ID, credit cards, or personal information is being exposed, Surfshark will alert you right away. Plus, you can protect unlimited devices at the same time, either your phone, tablet, or laptop. If you want to keep your love life private and stay safe while meeting new people, head to surfshark.com and apply the code PHO for 4 extra months free. And now, let's get back to the video. Okay, are you ready for the longer questions? Okay, comment down below if Peter passed the test. How do you feel with my answers though? Do you want more juice? Do you want more elaborate, more short? Of course, of course, yes. I think like the audience want more like, yeah, specific answers. Because I can talk about specific times where it's like I learned how to ride a motorbike because I used to date a girl where she would always drive and then I thought, oh, she's just okay with just driving. And then one day, we got in a big fight. She's like, I expect you to drive. But she didn't say. No, until like way later. And then I'm like, you know what? I like you. So I'm gonna learn how to drive. Oh. And that's how I slowly learned how to drive. That's good, that's good. Like I said, you have to like read mind a little. Yeah. And like you said, Vietnamese girl, when they like you, they want to be làm nụng lắm. They want to làm nụng. They want to be baby. Actually, I have a question. Sure. Are Vietnamese women expected to know how to cook for their husband? Is that like a plus one or is that like a... No, not really. I know a lot of Vietnamese women don't know how to cook. Because whenever I date, the first thing that comes out of my mom's mouth... And then I'm innocent. I'm like, no, she doesn't. There's almost like a sign of like disappointment. Oh, okay. So I want to ask, is it like a thing where it's like you need to know how to cook so you can get a husband, you know? No, actually. Because I have a lot of friends who don't know how to cook. Turned out their husbands are great cooks. Or like they can hire someone to cook for them or they eat out and stuff like that. So I feel like if both parties communicate with each other, I feel like there's no problem. In terms of like family's expectation, because like deep down, your mom would want your future wife to know how to take care of your little family. Yeah. So I feel like that's what she means. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's a very important skill to have because... So you know how to cook? I do know how to cook. And I'm a good cook, according to my friends. Because I had a time to study in the US. So of course, I have to know how to cook to survive and to feed myself. And I feel like cooking really brings people together. And that's how we connect. Yeah. And I love food too. I love to eat and I love to cook. It's kind of bad. But like Western guys come to Vietnam, there's the stereotype of like, they want to find a passive housewife. Right. Cook, clean, listens to what I say. That's the really negative. That's true, that's true. Yeah. I'm like, I'm sure you can find that anywhere in the world. But if you're just coming for that, good luck. Yeah, I mean like it's in the mindset. And to be honest, it's really like the two people's conversation. And if they're okay with that, like if the wife stays at home to take care of the kids, and then like the husband will use that time and energy to like go to work and bring the money home. Yeah, the breadwinner. I feel like if they talk it out and they're okay with that, I don't see any problem with it. Yeah. But then like if you come here and have that expectation, yeah, good luck. Yeah. But then the word though, nowadays people think it's like bad word. But it's like family. And then it's like the leader. Yeah. So like the leader of the family goes back to the provider mindset too. For me, I think it's a good word. Because like you lead the family. You can use that for the woman too. Really? Yeah. Yeah, you can do... Because I feel like online is kind of like a negative word. Yeah, that's how people use it. But like the roots of the word, it's actually like means good. Yeah, and I give like so much respect for the leader of the family because it's a lot of work. Okay, so let's start with the first question. Okay. We're not at the first question. No, not yet. Okay, oh, that's just a warm-up. Oh, it's just a warm-up. I'm sweating right now. Oh god, okay. Okay, so we're just done with the rapid-fire questions. And now let's get like more serious. Okay. How serious? Like marriage, date to marry type of serious? You'll find out. What were the most awkward situations you have been in while dating in Vietnam? I was talking about this with a friend earlier. But getting catfished, I don't think counts as uncomfortable. Vietnamese people are very good with the face retouching. I see. So I'm like, huh, you don't look like... But I just had the conversation and that was that. Would you say that? Like when you meet her and then you're like... No, it's so rude. Oh, you don't look like a picture. You go with the conversation and then I don't see them again. Did you like it though? Like did you like the conversation? The fact that I got catfished? No, no, no. I mean like, yeah, after... She doesn't look like a picture. But like, did you enjoy the conversation? No, because it goes off of the principle of like, you deceived me. So like, you come in with like, oh, you're already lying to me. Sort of, you know what I mean? I see, I see. It's kind of vain, but like looks matter, right? I don't know about you. It can tell a lot about that person too. Because it's like how you take care of yourself and how you put an effort into before meeting someone. Yeah, I think looks matter. It's an advantage, but it's not everything. I feel like the next question relates to that one is, what are the most significant differences in dating in Vietnam and in the West? The biggest difference is gender expectations. Okay, explain. So men should do this, women should do this. Whether that's paying, whether that's driving, especially driving, right? Where it's kind of like frowned upon where if a girl picks me up on her bike, it's very like, question mark. When I first arrived in Vietnam, 2017, whatever, a couple years ago, I think that was the norm because that's what I expected. Because I just came here, I don't know how to ride a bike, right? I'm just like your typical foreigner, right? Okay. Stay here much longer than a day, okay? Or a week, a couple months. But then I just got used to like them picking me up. I'm like, oh, this is cool. Was it a date? Like, where did you guys go? Coffee shop or like dinner. And then how did you meet her? Back then, it would be a lot of apps. I think usually the big apps, you swipe, two people match each other. You message, you meet up. Okay. Yeah, I think that's how most people, I think foreigners meet locals. Oh, I see. Yeah, so like the next question is like, how do you usually meet people in Vietnam? Nowadays, it's different. Nowadays, it's Instagram. Instagram. That's how we met. Oh yeah, that's true, that's true, yes. But like we're in the same industry too. Like we're both content creators. But if I wasn't a content creator, how would I meet people? Or how have I met? It's usually apps. All of it is through apps. Like Tinder, Bumble, Hinge. Yeah. Stuff like that. Oh, people have like stereotypes about Tinder. What would you think about it? As a guy, you have to be careful. The biggest thing that I've heard, not from myself, but from other guys, is there's a lot of scams. So like what they have out here is called like booking girls that work for clubs and promoters. And they tell you, hey, meet me at this bar. Come here. And it turns out, they work for that bar. And they just want people in. Oh, I see. Like how do you know though? What are the signs and the reflects that you should look for? You see their picture, you can tell. Very, maybe very sexy. The first thing they do is, come here, meet me at this bar. And it's a specific bar. Yeah. It's not like, hey, where do you want to go? It's this bar, this time, here's the address. Oh, okay. This information, I don't know. Yeah. So if you're a guy and you come to Vietnam and you go on the apps, this is something you probably want to know. Good advice. Okay. But for me, I feel like to meet people in Vietnam because I prioritize experiences. And I want to get to know the person in person. I feel like it's very important that we share similar interests or hobbies. Yeah. Because you can learn a lot about that person by doing stuff with them. Because I think dating in Vietnam just applies dating anywhere. You're talking about just meeting people. It doesn't have to be on apps. It can be through activities, clubs. Or language exchange. Yeah. Have you done that? Not in Vietnam. Okay. So you mostly meet Vietnamese women through apps? With intentions of dating, yes. Oh, okay. What do you mean intention of dating? Do you date for marriage or do you date casually? Are you talking about 20-year-old Peter or 30-year-old Peter? Like at this moment, Peter? I think I'm looking more to date to marry. I'm much more serious. I'm getting older. I feel like being in Vietnam, there's much more of that. Very traditional still. Even though, yes, times have changed. There is casual dating, talking to more than one person X, Y, Z. But for me, I think I'm at a stage where it's like I want a partner. People online think I have tattoos. I'm like, oh, I'm like a Kevin Wing. I'm just looking to mess around, right? I just look like a bad boy. But I'm not. I'm like, I really want a partner, travel around the world, have a little family, build something. Okay. This is what we can talk about, right? I think from my friends that are girls, they date Vietnamese here, girl or guy. Love bombing is very common. Like I meet you for like one or two dates. Next thing you know, oh my god, I'm in love with you. I want to spend the next whatever. I want to be your boyfriend. I want to be your girlfriend. But usually the guy said that or the girl said that? Both. Oh, okay. In the West, it takes like one or two years to like get to actually know someone. Here, it's much more faster. Yeah. I don't know if that's a good or a bad. It's just different. Especially your age too. Like sometimes if you want to bring someone home and like this is my future wife, introduce it to your mom and stuff like that. Yeah, I feel like the pace can be a little bit faster because I feel like you accumulated all the experiences that you had in your 20s. And then you're like, oh, this is a girl. Like this is the one. Because I know there are a lot of people, they're in the relationship for like nine years and then they break up. And then after that, like six months later, they found someone else and then they get married. Yeah. So it's very common. Going back to the first date, what are the top three things that you should not do on the first date? You should, this is basic. I've asked every girl this stuff. But it doesn't apply for Vietnamese women. It's just general. All right. But you want me to talk about- In Vietnam. Because I'm thinking just general, just basic things. Like hygiene. Hygiene. Okay. Make sure you don't smell. Brush your teeth. Don't have a script. Oh, like don't prepare. Like don't be too structured. Like this, like this. You want to go with the flow. Right. One thing I like to do, it's kind of bad, where I like to go to coffee shops. And once in a while, I see like a foreigner going on a date with, this is so judgy of me, going on a date with a local. And I just hear they're like, they have a script. It's like, oh, what's this? What's the one thing that you did when you X, Y, Z? It's like a very generic template. I see. So you love people watching, right? I do too, actually. I don't know. I just like to have a little fun. I know. We're just curious. But one thing I noticed is that, or even I hear from some of my friends, is that language barrier can be a challenge for intercultural couples. What do you think about that? Yes. Even from me being overseas Vietnamese with you, culture is already a clash. Even though I know Vietnamese, that in itself is already like kind of like a barrier. I have to be very compassionate and like understanding of, my way is not right. Your way is not 100% right. It's like just accepting the two differences. Yeah, meet in the middle. Speaking of language barriers, I've been to cafes and bars. I'm like, oh, one person's going like this. And one person goes like this. Oh, they're Google translating. Okay. I'm like, I don't know if it's successful. The date's going well, but it's cute. It's cute. Okay. So language is not a barrier. Okay. From my experience, I thought it at first too. But for me now, it's a huge aspect. It's like a must? It's not a must. It's just like, it's easier for us to communicate. Yeah. And then I read somewhere, I think on Instagram, it's like date someone who speak your language so that you don't have to translate your love language. Wait, so speaking your language isn't like your actual language or your love language? Both. Yeah. Because like it's our mother tongue language. I feel like when I say I love you versus like em yêu anh, the expression and then like the intention in there are pretty different. Because in Vietnam, we don't usually say like, I love you much. Yeah. Thuong is like, I feel like more like love, more than love, right? Language is something that is so sentimental. For me, I would prefer dating someone who knows Vietnamese and be able to make a conversation with me in Vietnamese because that's how like we can connect deeper. Like when the guy speaks Vietnamese to me, I feel more understood by, yeah. Am I allowed to ask you questions? Sure, what's up my guy? Because you don't... Here, you have permission. Why just Vietnamese recently? This is where you go viral. So you date Vietnamese guys? How do I answer this question? You're Vietnamese, so do you date Vietnamese guys or you date white guys? Okay, so from my experience, because I spend most of my adult life in the US, especially in Michigan, where they don't have a lot of Asian guys. From my dating experience, I date more like Western guys. As you can tell, like my body language and my attitude are more like open-minded and more assertive. Yeah, because I'm influenced by the West more. Yeah, but then like when I moved back to Vietnam, I feel more kind of like girly, feminine and more Vietnamese, more traditional. I don't know. Recently, I have experiences with dating more with Vietnamese guys, even Vietnamese friends as well. Yeah, and then like when they speak my language, I feel more connected. Yeah. So when you were dating in America, dating foreigners, you didn't feel as true, as loved? Or was there something blocking? Yeah, like the language barrier because like I said, my English was not very good when I first went to the US. I started learning it like at the age of 16 or 17. Yeah, so some words I didn't really know. And then I felt kind of nervous talking to a guy in English because I was shy about my broken English. And also, if they talk too fast, I couldn't understand them. If I repeat it again, like I feel like I annoy them and stuff like that. So sometimes I just can't have deeper conversation with a guy. So it's very thoughtful for the guy to learn some Vietnamese. I have an interesting thought that I want to ask you. Flirting. You spent a lot of time in the States, right? Right. Not a lot. Seven years, long and short. Did you get the different hints and like, oh, this guy's into me versus coming back to Vietnam and you dating here? Is that the same cues? This guy's flirting differently or different signals? Right. It's very hard to say because I haven't dated like a Vietnamese Vietnamese guy. Why? Usually I would have experience with like Vietnamese American or like mixed because it's easier for me to connect in terms of culture. It's just Vietnamese guys. They either like study abroad or was born overseas. Because sometimes I speak English and then I mix with like Vietnamese. Vietlish. Vietlish, yeah. It's not that I'm picky or anything. It's just like the environment that I'm in. I usually interact with those people. Yeah. So that's why. Would you consider yourself very... Sorry, I'm taking over now. Go ahead. He's the host now, guys. I get to know him on a much more personal level. Are you very traditional? I think I asked you on my podcast, but do you want like a family, kids or you just want a partner, no kids? Yeah, I do want kids. I want a family with kids. I want many kids. Yeah, so I want a partner who can be with me long term and then have that little family. Pretty traditional Hanoian girl. Also, I want him to get along with my family too. Oh, that's important. Yeah, because I feel like if he gets married to me, I feel like he gets married to my family as well. Because family is very important to me. Okay, I'll let you continue. Okay, okay. But those are good questions. Yeah, I hope I give some like interesting content. How not to approach a Vietnamese girl? Did I ask that question? How not to approach? I don't know. Approach? It's like women in the wild have to approach, have to hunt, have to approach carefully. So okay, I'll give you a scenario. I'll give you a scenario. So for example, you go to a bar, you go to a restaurant and you see a very beautiful, attractive girl. How not to approach that girl? Oh, this is a good skit. How do you not approach? You don't want to just like scare anybody. Right? But if I wanted to chat someone up, I'll probably just say, Hey, how's it going? You come here often, where's the best coffee? And then... Oh yeah, you would ask questions. Yeah, ask questions. Okay. Yeah, but it's tricky though. Because like, what are your intentions to approach her? Right? There's two different things. Are you trying to be friendly? No, no, you want to date that girl. You want to date? Then you have to be a little smart. But the thing is, I want to ask you, this is like, is it normal in Vietnam to be like approached by someone and just chit-chat and forward? From what I hear from my friends, yes, it's normal. So actually, Travis talked on his channel, is that like in the West, if the guy approaches a girl, it's kind of creepy, right? Like people would think like, Oh, it's a creepy dude. But then like in Vietnam, I feel like it's... Like for me, it's normal. If you go in the group and then like the guys approach like, Oh, I think you're very cute. And yeah, I want to ask your number and stuff like that. I like the meet cute moment, not just swiping. You know, it's too easy. It's too easy. I think for me, it's like, it depends on the situation where it's like, I go to a bar that or a coffee shop that I really like. I'm like, Oh, there's someone cute. I want to... They look interesting. I want to talk to them. Versus I'm going to a coffee shop just to pick up a girl. There's two different intentions. That's true. Yeah, just like a coffee shop that you really like. And then you happen to see this girl a lot. Yeah, you see them on a weekly basis. Like, Hey, we meet again. Then maybe I'll chat them up. Ah, okay. So what not to do to scare her away? Talking to the wrong guy. I scare all of them away. What not to do? Don't come off as a creep, I guess. Come off as like a normal person. Hey, I just want to talk to you. You seem cool, interesting. In Vietnamese dating culture, do people flirt? Yeah, yeah, we do. And then in Vietnamese, it's called thả thính. Do you know what it means? Thả thính? What is thả thính? Like thả means throw. Thính is like bait for fish. Exactly. You have to catch the fish. So basically, when we thả thính in Vietnam, staring is kind of like a red flag. I feel like because in Vietnamese culture, we don't stare. Like, we avoid eye contact as much as possible. So if I really like a girl, I just go like this. And then she'll know, she'll get the sign that I'm really into her. Just walk into a wall. Yeah, but I mean, like, if you stare at the girl, it's like, it's scary. It's creepy. So yeah, the first thing not to approach a Vietnamese girl is not to aggressively staring at her. And then also, no is no. When the girl said, not giving number to you is a no. Yeah, I think that's common sense. Right? Yeah. Oh, I actually have a very funny story. So I have my apartment building. It's a căn hộ, like apartment. And then across from the apartment is another building, right? And I usually, on my balcony, I come off like shirtless. I'm like texting on my phone, like a long day of work, right? There's a guy directly across and he's staring at me. And I feel it, right? A Viet guy? A Vietnamese guy. Oh, wow. Yeah, he's just staring. So he's staring at me. And then I'm like, why is he staring at me? Right? So I'm just looking at my phone. He keeps staring. He's like, So I like your tattoos. Okay. Because I'm like, oh, where did you get your tattoos? And I'm like, District 3. So I'm like, very short. And I'm like, okay, don't. He's trying to do small talk with me. I'm like, what is he doing? Is that all like American people do though? Vietnamese. Vietnamese guy across. Oh, okay. No, but you're Canadian. Yeah, I'm Canadian. So it's awkward. I get really like, like very awkward it out. And he's, oh, For what? Exactly. I'm like, and then I just threw up like, I don't know Vietnamese. And I go back in the door, close my Belkin. I'm like, and then I think he got the hint. Maybe he would ask like, what's the specific address for your tattoo? Maybe. The way that the stairs are the creepy stairs. No, I don't think so. But sorry. Okay. It's an interesting story. So do you think like he would ask for the address or he's trying to hit up? Oh my gosh. Okay. Yeah. I feel like there are like two types of staring. One is that like, people are very curious about you. Especially people in the North. They can be very judgmental. Yeah. Sometimes if you wear like revealing clothes or you have tattoos and stuff like that, people can stare at you and then they judge you. But then people in the South, I feel like they are more open-minded. Not many stairs in the South, I feel like. Yeah. But then the second type of staring is like, I see like cat calling or... Yeah, like man... Cat calling? Yeah. Like what would they say? Yeah. They would say like... Yeah. And then like they would stare like up and down. And yeah, it creeps me out. I feel like Vietnamese people, we avoid all kinds of eye contact because it's like so awkward. Yeah. Because like I'm Canadian. If someone makes like we're walking, like we're going to cross paths and we're just making eye contact, for me to break the awkwardness, I would smile. I'm like, hey. See, it's very white, very Western. You're going to walk across. So I'm just like, hey. I don't know if it's in the States, but it's like... We smile. But here, it's creepy. So what happened to you? Yeah. So I didn't realize for the past like whatever months that I have my new apartment, I'm like, oh, I come off as a creep. So you just like walk and then like smile. Yeah, it's nice. Yeah, yeah. I feel like it's a big cultural differences. Yeah. So like if you talk to a girl and then you stare at her, as a Vietnamese, I don't think that I would stare back. But like I just look at you and like look down. I wouldn't like stare at you and then wink at you or anything like that. But at the club, would that still apply? Or would it be much more forward? Where I'm like, we're at the club, I stare at you, she's staring at me, we're both smiling. Is that same in Vietnam or no? Because in the West, it's like, oh. Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it depends on the intention though. Yeah, see, this is where the rules flip, right? You have to know these dynamics. Yeah, even for the guy too. Yeah. Let's say you successfully get the girl's number, right? So what are the top three aspects that Vietnamese women consider important while dating? I think generous and then provider mindset. But I'm talking like very traditional Vietnamese, family oriented. You check all those three, you are invited into the family, I guarantee. Okay. Guaranteed. So what does a provider mindset to you when you date in Vietnam? I think it's, I'm gonna take care of you and us no matter what. I will lead the way, right? I think so. What do you think? Not just like materialistic, right? No, like emotional, financial, whatever. Yeah, yeah, same, same. I feel like I want a man who is a leader, not all the time when he's sick or like when he is at his lowest point, I can take charge. But then to have a provider mindset, I feel like that person is super brave and strong. And then, yeah, he wants to protect me and the family. Because I think it goes back to very animal kingdom thing where it's like if a guy really likes a girl, I'm automatically gonna want to protect and provide. Yeah. Do you have that mindset when you date? I think if I really like a girl, I'm like super protective. Maybe too protective. But yeah, I'm like the bodyguard. Oh, I see, I see. So she can leave her brain at home, basically. Okay. And is it too stressful for you to do that? Depends on the girl. If she's too carefree, I'm very stressed out. She has to have a little street smart, just a little street smart. I see, I see. Okay. So basically, you were attracted to the girl, you asked her on the first date, everything went well, she took you to see your dad, passed that, and now it's the... The dad likes me? Yes. Amazing. Good, right? Good sign. And then you guys having like serious talk about money, finance before marriage. Yes. So who pays? And then who should keep the money after getting married? Pays for everything in the marriage? I don't know. I come from the West, so it's like it's not everything is 100%. There's never a hundred and zero. It's like maybe one person gets the dinners, other person gets the entertainment. No, because like if you let the wife keeps all the money, so like she would be responsible for paying for everything, right? So it really depends on which one you choose. I would say the guy. Okay, the guys will pay, but who will keep the money? I think the guy. Okay, we'll keep all the money, we'll deal with all the headaches. I think if two people had... Because nowadays in this economy, in the world, two incomes, right? Maybe you'll have like a joint account, where is the joint spending, but I feel like they would still have two separate accounts, right? Just like you do your spending, I do my spending, right? And if there's joint purchases, that's like a house or something, then y'all can figure that together. So for example, like if you go out with your wife as a family, right? So who would pay for dinner? The guy. The guy, okay. So who would keep the money to manage the money and pay for all the household items? I think the guy. Really? Whoever makes the money manages the money. Unless the guy is really bad at managing money and maybe the wife is better, then you can delegate it that way. Okay. What do you think about like housewife? Like if your wife doesn't work and then she just wanted to take care of the kids and like homeschool them and sacrifice all the time to like teach the kids and take care of the kids instead of spending money on like nannies and stuff like that so you have the time and the energy to go out and work. What do you think about that? I don't think about that because in this economy, it's like I said two people are working. It's never one. I don't know. I never thought of like I want a housewife. Okay. I want a partner and it's like if I am making enough, we're going to take care of everybody and you don't have to work and you can take care of the kids then you do that, right? Okay, I see. I don't go in the relationship like you're going to be my housewife, you know? But if she wants to be a housewife. Then sure, I can support that, right? Yeah, if you truly love her and you're capable of bringing two incomes. Yeah. Multiple incomes to take care of the family. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, that's fair. I feel like if the two people talk to each other yeah and they're okay with it, I think it should be fine. Because I think a lot of these questions come down to just communication and lifestyle and like how can y'all both compromise? And also the big aspect is like the cultural differences too because okay, fun fact, in Vietnam, some of the women still have the thoughts that they shouldn't let the man control and keep all the money because they believe that the man when they have free time and when they have spare money, they're going to spend on other things. Like spend on girls, spend on gambling, spend on like they would call like silly hobbies that they're going to waste money on and those money can be saved for like family. Like for kids, like schooling and everything else. And that's why women in Vietnam, there's a stereotype that they control all the money. Exactly, yeah. So that's why like we call them Noc Nha, the roof of the family, but like the boss, yeah. But to be honest, now I think about it, I think it's a hard job. Yeah, because like, oh my gosh, we have to like take care of the money, we have to like write it down, like really think about like what money will go with which category and stuff like that. It's a hard job, it's a headache. Yeah, and then also that's why some of the family, the men have Quỷ Đen. Have you heard of that? It's called black fund. Black fund. Yeah, so basically after getting the salary, they would like get a little money and hide it somewhere so the wife can't find it. Okay, okay, makes sense. Yeah, it's like hide under the TV or like somewhere else, wherever they can't find it. Yeah, so that they can spend on buying like PS4 and stuff like that. More than just games, yes, PS5. Yeah, so you learn new words today, Quỷ Đen. Quỷ. Dấu ngã. Đúng rồi. Quỷ Đen, Đen Black. Black fund. Yes, but after this conversation, would you feel more comfortable or more stressful dating in Vietnam? After this, would I feel more comfortable? Yes, because you know all the information now. Like would you be more prepared or would you be more stressful? You want the real answer or the honest answer? Honest answer. I would feel more prepared if someone told me these things. Going into another place, I try to tread carefully. Okay, okay. Like what is the one takeaway from this conversation? Like what do you remember the most? Quỷ Đen. Make sure you stuff a little money under here, you have your own funds and you have a boy's night out. Okay, I mean like you don't need to have that. If you find a girl who is very understanding and understand your culture and it's all about communication. Right, because like even though this topic of the video is dating Vietnamese women, I think it just comes down to dating worldwide. It's about how do you two fit together to grow or build something, right? We talk leadership, we talk about intimacy, we talk about money. It's how do two people see eye to eye. Yeah, exactly. It comes down to like basic foundation and I feel like just be kind. Yeah, just be a good person. Are you? I hope so. Yeah, you are. You are a good person. Okay, so I think that's it for the video. Thank you so much, Peter, for joining me. I hope those questions are not like too hard for you to answer but I bet like our audience learned a lot from this conversation and thank you so much for sharing all your dating experiences and all your advice. I feel like the audience really appreciate it. So if you like this video, don't forget to subscribe to his channel, Broke the Habit and click like, comment because that's how we know that if you want more of these topics on my video or on Peter's video. All right, any last words? Nope, I'm speechless. All right, thank you so much and we'll see you in the next video. Bye.