I Keep Catching My Husband Lying About Debt

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. My husband has committed financial infidelity three times and every time that he was caught we had to refinance and all of that. So he runs up debt behind your back and lies to you. Yep, 100 percent. And I told him the third time, if he does it again we will divorce. I'm not doing this anymore. So he did it again and are you divorcing? This happened like two weeks ago. The third time was two weeks ago? The fourth time was two weeks ago. Oh wow. I found out. He did not come clean. I found it. My friend does financial whatever for a company and she helped me do a credit check on him and we found it. So are you divorcing then? I checked in yesterday online to see how to get divorce papers. Yeah. I'm still going back and forth. I just, I, yeah, we've been married 41 years together. My question is, I have, so I homeschooled our five children. We have 11 grandkids. I started a cleaning business, it's just me, after our son, youngest son graduated. So I've been taking that money and we put it into a savings and we consider it like fund money. So we use it for vacations, house projects, whatever. My question is, do I go and get his name off of that account? You need to go see a divorce attorney and let them advise you on what you're allowed to do in the state of Pennsylvania while filing divorce, whether you can take names off of accounts or not. I don't know if you can do that there. Um, yeah, but yeah, I mean, you, you've got to protect yourself in any way that is legally allowable. And, uh, but you certainly need to take pictures of the account so that you know that that money is there. And if it disappears, then you've at least got something to hold against him, you know, while you go through the divorce and, uh, you know, for instance, if it, how much is in that account? My account, uh, 7,000. Oh, so it's not much. Okay. And he's never touched it thus far. I have, well, we used it. Yeah, we used it for him. I mean, he's not stolen from it and lied about that account. Not, not that I know of it because, okay. So I'm dyslexic with numbers. He knows that, but he always has paid our bills. He's always done our finances and I put my guard down last year. I should not have done it. And he went and started using a credit card and I was just like, son of a gun. I just, you know, can't believe that you did this for the fourth time in our marriage. Um, so I, yeah, I don't know because well, the $7,000 is probably going to be used as your attorney's fee. Okay. And so do you guys have, do you guys, do you guys have any, do you have any assets? Do you have any money in the marriage? We have nothing. Nope. We have nothing. You own a house. Yeah. We own a house. That's it. What's it worth? Um, we have my daughter's mother-in-law. She's a realtor. And she said, she thinks she can get between five and six thousand, a hundred thousand. What do you owe on it? It's an acre lot. Huh? What do you owe on it? Nothing. It was paid off five years ago. Okay. So have you guys attempted marriage counseling? We did when he did this the last time. Um, and it, it got better. The problem was still, we, he said no more credit cards. So we had no credit cards and we took a trip for our 40th anniversary last year to Utah and they would not let us rent a car unless we had a credit, credit card. Well, he, I don't know. We, he said he tried. They won't take debit cards. They won't check, check. They won't take cash. He said, I have to rent a car. You have to have a credit card. So he tried, I think it's capital one. And so he did, and I should have taken it. And I asked him the other day, I said, I want the credit card. And he said, no. And I was like, okay, well, there's that. Is your name on any of these debts or cards? Um, the ones that we're paying 80,000 off. So we consolidate it. So they take out 600 every month from our checking account. And I guess they barter with the companies to pay off whatever. Did you work with a debt settlement relief company? One of these scummy companies out there? Yes. That's what we're with. So you have $80,000 in debt on credit cards and you have a $500,000 paid for house. And do you make enough to live on? I do not. I only work two days a week. The other three days. So how are you, how are you going to eat? That's my, yeah, I'm going to have to work full time. That's the only way. Yeah. How old are you? Me? I'm 60. Oh, Marie, I'm so sorry. I wish, I wish marriage counseling would have fixed this. Um, but it, it sounds like your husband is just whatever. I don't know what he is, but, um, Do you know where he's spending all this money? Is he an addict of some sort? No. So that's what I, I checked on and, um, my friend who does finances for Armstrong, she said everything shows it's just gas and food. And one was on lows. It's all like petty stuff. It's like, I don't understand. I, I, yeah, I just, I don't know. What does he make? It's frustrating. He only makes, uh, he almost made 60,000 last year. He had a job, the same job for 35, 36 years. Um, they closed up, it was a printing company. And of course, you know, computers took over that. So, um, he got a better, he got a job and he hasn't to work clean ship anymore and doesn't have to work weekend, but he took a big pay cut. Um, Marie, I think you need to, um, get in touch with your pastor, get in touch with your marriage counselor, and you need to sit down and have an initial discussion with a divorce attorney. And you need to look at the reality of what this is facing here. I'm sorry, you're facing this and I'm wish your husband wish I could yell at him and make him behave, but I can't. And you can't either, obviously. And I can't believe 41 years down the toilet with grandkids everywhere and everything else. That's just, that's, that's just devastating. And, um, but, uh, but I don't understand a guy who's willing to give up all of that either for just simply for the use of a credit card. It doesn't make any sense at all. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.