Why Foreign Women Struggle Dating In Korea

They see foreign girls as, like, easy, so a lot of it is for hook-ups, so, you know. In a week, you're already a girlfriend because they're just trying to get in your pants. The shocking news is that when they have, like, two girlfriends at the same time. I think white women get treated differently in a way that they are easier than us, but at the same time, we are cheap. Asian women are cheap. If the parents are not agreeing with that, many Koreans will just stop the relationship. Can you briefly introduce yourself? My name is Dinara, and I've been here in Korea for eight, nine months now. My name is Shachi. I'm from the United States, and I've been in Korea for three years now. Hello, my name is Andresa. I'm from Brazil, and I have been living in South Korea for two years right now, and I'm a university student at Sejong University of Media Communication. My name is Mayun. I'm 26, and I live in Korea for modeling and dancing. So this question is about dating. Have you gone on dates? Have you dated a Korean guy before? I have been going on a lot of dates. I dated a guy for exactly 15 days. Like, official relationship, 15 dates. But going on a date, I went on more than 10 dates, for sure. How was that experience for you, going on dates in Korea with Korean guys? They're really nice. They're really kind, but they're clingy. They're too clingy. They get obsessed with you too quickly. They call you all the time. They text you all the time. If you don't text them, within one hour, they start bombarding you with messages. I did Tinder the first week I was here, and I had a pretty scary experience. After that, I just stopped online dating. Currently, I'm dating someone, but I met that person in person. Not really a date. I had something, but it didn't work out. Why didn't it work out? I think in general, the first time that I tried something was a language barrier. We couldn't really communicate and understand ourselves really well. Because by then, my Korean was really bad, and he didn't know how to speak in English. When you don't understand each other, there's no way things can go forward. The second time, I would say it was the culture difference. For Koreans, they have this saying, like, Oh, what are you doing today? Ah, this is a day off. In my head, as a Brazilian, a day off, okay, you work all day, you work all week. You want time for yourself. You want to relax. You want to stay at home. Just you and yourself. However, in Korean culture, a day off means that he's doing nothing. So, you can invite me to do something. But I didn't know about them. So, I lost a lot of opportunities to invite this person to go out and do something with me. Because Shinhanar for me would be, okay, have a great Shinhanar yourself. Have you ever gone on a date in Korea? Yeah, of course. How was that experience? Weird. Can you elaborate a little bit more on that? We don't have the same culture. So, sometimes it's a little weird. Like, you don't have the same, how can I say, you know, approach. So, sometimes it's like you will do something, but for the man it's not normal. Or he will do something, but for you it's not normal at all. And I think all foreigners are scared about white horses. Honestly, it's my biggest fear. Compared to, you know, like, this type of experiences you've had, like, how is it back home? We call, we just call once a day. If we call, we just meet. Yeah. And we don't text. In my country, we don't text. What would you say, you know, like, the struggles are dating for you? Like, dating in general, like, as a foreign woman? I think there's, number one, language difference. If you're not very good at Korean, that's going to be a bit difficult to date. Also, they see foreign girls as, like, easy. So, a lot of it is for hookups. So, you know, in a week you're already a girlfriend because they're just trying to get in your pants. First one, like, language barrier. And when it's not, like, the culture difference. And I would say is when, the shocking news is that when they have, like, two girlfriends at the same time, I would say. Because my friend experienced that last year. Because normally foreigners here are for a short time, like, one year, six months. So, Koreans tend to have two girlfriends by then. Like, the foreigner girlfriend and the Korean girlfriend. Because normally it's because they are young. So, they have, they want to experience a lot of things, like, between, like, 19 and 25. I guess they have, like, this, I want to try everything that I can. So, meanwhile, like, the foreigner is going to stay here for a short time. So, they think, like, okay, I have my Korean girlfriend. Let's try something with the foreigner. Because she's going away anyway. So, like, what's the point? I think for me, it's about timing. Like, Korean, the family of the guy, of the woman. Because you can have a great relationship, like, a real relationship. But if the parents are not agreeing with that, many Koreans will just stop the relationship. And I think after, like, four or seven years to, you know, a relationship, just stop like that because your parents are not agreeing. I think it's really hard and not really fair. For example, a friend of me had a relationship for seven years. But the man just stopped because his parents don't agree for my age or more. In Korea? Yes, in Korea. I think when they say a foreign person, foreign woman, they think we are easy. And the experience of Asian women and white women as a foreigner is totally different. How so? I think white women get treated differently in a way that they are easier than us. But at the same time, we are cheap. Asian women are cheap. Especially from countries like Central Asia or, like, I don't know, Vietnam, Philippines, they get treated like they can get them because they are cheap. Based on your personal opinion, why do you think Korean men think of, you know, like, Eastern Asian women as cheap? I think it's because of the fact that a lot of women from the countries that I listed earlier just get married to get a visa, you know, to just have just one Korean person so they can get a passport and stuff. This may not be the case, but I think that is. And that's what I was told by Korean men that I was going on a date with. Earlier on, you mentioned online dating and Tinder and all that. How is that experience like doing online dating in Korea? I don't think they consider online dating apps for relationships. I think they consider it strictly for hookups. So if you get relationships out of that, there's only a few that we're able to, but most is just like they play you. I'm not going to lie. It's a whole game. So be prepared. I really, like, I'm against it. I just don't think online dating here is a good idea in general. If you're looking for relationships, if it's for hookups, there's plenty. They're down for that. But as far as serious relationships and commitment, I just don't think that's the way. Would you say, you know, generally Korean men are open to dating foreign women? They are, but I'm not sure, like, if they are ready to have a commitment that takes more than one year or six months. Why are you specific about one year or six months? Because that's normally the time of exchange students. What are the cultural differences between dating in Korea and dating in France back home? If you don't like something, you have to tell. But in Korea, if you don't like something, you have to just don't tell it because it can be, like, irrespectful. You happen to have gone on, like, multiple dates in Korea with Korean men. What would you say, you know, like, you've learned from, like, going to this date, like, in the Korean culture, dating culture? The most important thing that I learned as a girl dating a Korean man is that in the beginning, I always try to be really nice to them, like, really nice, comforting them, trying my best, you know, going all the way around to kind of please them to a certain extent. But then I realized that and also my Korean is pretty good. And but then when they compliment me, I would like, no, I have to wait still to go out. We are working hard on my Korean more. Blah, blah, blah. And like, when I think about it, I just like, oh, my God, shut up. You know, but right now I just started knowing my value more when I talk to them. And they started treating me better as well. Do you speak the language? Yes, I would like to think so, yes. I'm like, I'm pretty conversational. So I would say like level four now, topic level. But yeah, I can get around. How did you learn Korean? I practiced with my boyfriend, practiced with my friend, watched K-dramas. I haven't gone to school yet. I just bought a book and I'm studying alone. I still have a long way to go, so I'm studying slowly. You're amazing. No, I'm not. How many years did you study Korean? Before I came to Korea, I studied Korean in my hometown for a year. I've been studying hard since I came to Korea. Your Korean is so good. Thank you. Amazing. Oh, thank you. I can't even speak like my Korean. I'm like, no, like, no. I can't even speak Korean. We should. In the case of Korean society, how do you think the dating culture is different compared to other countries? It's a very difficult question. In Korea, even if you don't know people, if you are attracted to their appearance, you just meet them. But in Korea, you don't just look at their appearance and meet them. You look at their appearance, personality, and meet them after you get to know them.