Time In and Time Out

Parenting toddlers and preschoolers can be rewarding and challenging. CDC's essential, science-backed parenting strategies can help you guide your little ones through their big feelings and behaviors. Let's talk about time in and time out. When kids experience big feelings or misbehave, using time in or time out can help. Time in is a method focused on connection and communication. It involves staying with your child during challenging or emotional moments and avoiding separation. Time in can help build connection and guide kids to manage their emotions. Time out is a method focused on addressing misbehavior. It involves providing a safe space for children to calm down by removing them from where the misbehavior happened. Time out can help you and your child reset when unsafe or destructive behaviors are the main concern. Both strategies can help manage behavior in toddlers and preschoolers and guide them back to calm. And the steps for both strategies are similar. To practice time in, stay with your child during challenging or emotional moments and provide support and reassurance. Looks like you're feeling upset. Let's sit together for a minute and calm down. Time in gives kids a chance to feel connected and calm down with the parent's support in a challenging moment. Finish up by reassuring your child you are there for them. Time in is particularly good for behaviors like emotional meltdowns or distresses when children need extra comfort. Once your child is feeling calm again after a time in, it's a good time to follow up with some emotion coaching. In some situations, like when a child does something unsafe or harmful, such as pushing or throwing things, or if they are refusing to follow directions, a brief time out can be more appropriate and effective. Start your response by calmly giving a time out warning. Alex, please do not throw the sand. If you do it again, we'll have to take some time out. If your child listens, praise them. Thank you for not throwing the sand and putting it in your bucket instead. However, if the misbehavior continues, follow through with the time out. Guide your child away from the area of misbehavior and explain why. You have to go to a time out now because I asked you to please stop throwing the sand and you didn't listen. You can take a few minutes to sit and cool down. I'll be right over here and I'll come get you when it's time to get up. If your child gets out of the time out space, put them back. When you first use time out, you may have to return your child to time out several times. Time out helps stop misbehavior and gives children a safe space to calm down away from others. Remember, when using time out, do not make your child feel isolated and end it promptly. A good rule is to give one minute of time out for every year of the child's age. For example, a three-year-old would sit in time out for three minutes and be sure to remind them why you asked them to take this time to cool down. No more throwing sand at each other, okay? Be sure to praise your child's next good behavior. With a few parenting essentials, you can build a strong connection with your child and build a supportive foundation for their growth. Learn more essentials for parenting toddlers and preschoolers at cdc.gov slash parents slash essentials.