"Topless Woman at the Pool"

Thank you dear. Wow. I'm out. Yeah, you're going? You're moving? I'm gone. Where are you going to go? Where are you going to move to? I'm moving to... I'm going to Venice. You're going to Venice? Okay. I'll pick you up tomorrow morning. You're ready for Venice. Is that where you're going tonight? Every once in a while, Naveen and I will have a fight and she'll go stay at the Garland Hotel. Shut up. Yeah, maybe once a year. It's this hotel. Yeah. It's like down the street. Oh, I know it. Yeah. I eat lunch at the front yard a lot. You eat lunch at the front yard and you don't call me and even say I'm in the neighborhood? No, it's not like I just go there by myself. It's a working lunch. It is a working kind of lunch kind of place. When I meet the Comcast people. I'm jealous Naveen is that we're vibing already. She's so jealous. If I give a dog too much attention, she'll be like... Yeah. I was giving Amir's dog attention today. All right. All right boys. This is what she's going to do now. She's going to go, all right boys. I'm going to go take a shower. Yeah, go take a shower. Then we'll go out to dinner. It's her birthday today. Happy birthday. You look like you've had quite a birthday. Naveen is in a bikini, a sarong around wrap. We went to Petit Hermitage today. What is that? I thought she was going to say set around fire. I go to this, it's a hotel. We go for her birthday. Naveen's friend's super nice. Gets us a day bed in the shade. I mean, amazing. That is the thing. Okay. So we go, we go in and we go in. The girls are there first. I need to do some work. I Uber down there. I walk in. This is great. Freaking amazing. Right? And then we're having fun. And then Amir wants a rosé. So I said, I'll go get you a rosé. And I'm going to get coffee. Great. Go in and get rosé and coffee. $46. That wasn't great. And I come back. Oh, no. Then Naveen finds me there. She's like, hey. And I'm like, what? What's going on? She goes, tell me if I'm wrong. This woman took her top off next to us. I'm making videos for my birthday. Naveen's making videos for her birthday. It's a topless place? No. It is now. But it is a topless place because Amir said Saturday, yesterday, people were topless. Which is why I wanted to go today. Right. And so then you took your top off. I didn't take, I didn't even take my top off. But what's your stance on that? Fine. It's fine. Yeah. I'm going to look though. Oh, really? Of course. I mean, I would assume that's partially why you're doing it. Then I got into the brain of like, I'm all for it. You want to take your top off. I get it. I like to take my shirt off. Yeah. What goes on in the woman's brain like that? Is she like, is she trying? Is she tanning? Is she getting sun on her? Sort of. No, she was in the shade. In the shade. Yeah. So anyways, the girls were mad that she was topless. And I didn't think it was that big of a deal. And then of course, you sound like a pervert when you say that. Yeah. What's the big deal? Yeah. Right? Yeah. Enhancing the sights. What would Maureen say? Wait, what did you say? Enhancing the sights. Yes. Enhancing the sights. Maureen. She doesn't like that at all. No, they weren't. Let's not. Let's not judge. Naveen. We are. Yep. I didn't care. It wasn't anything for me seeing her boobs. I was just like, whatever. Did anybody say anything to her? No, the girls were about to. Then I made friends. Only to make you happy on your birthday. I would have never said anything. Yeah, for you. It is a birthday. Sorry, we're podcasting on your birthday. Oh, that is. But we got to get it out to the people. Yeah. Okay, yeah. Go reset. Take a shower. You're gorgeous and beautiful. You're the most amazing woman ever. That did not go over well. I know why she likes it. Watch. She's still here. Wow, what a day you're having. I cannot. I didn't really realize that today is actually her birthday. I think I wouldn't have come over. I know. I said it like this. I was just like, do you think I could squeeze in a pod today? What's up? I felt really bad because it is her birthday. Yeah. But, you know, man, I really love this podcast. And I like that people. I just think consistency is so important. It is. And if it's not there. Yeah. You know. But foresight though. Also, you were like, hey, bring Max. This is not the day to bring Max. Well, I thought she'd be asleep till dinner. So, I thought Max would just walk in. I didn't know she was going to poke her head out. Oh, yeah. Next time. Max wants to come. I would love. We're going to have a little Max next time. How come he couldn't come today? Well, he's off somewhere. Oh. But once I got here, I'm like, yeah, next time's better. It's all good. Well, we were having fun. We went out for a birthday. Plus, we got to set up for three. Does that mean downstairs? What does that mean? I don't know. We'll have to figure it out. We could do downstairs. We could just have him sit here. Do you have a third mic? Do I have a third mic? Take it back. I got eight, nine mics to my possession. Sorry. It's Sunday. I have a baseball hat on. I never wear a baseball hat. You never wear a baseball hat. What's going on? Are you going through something? Paris was so long. And I was just doing yard work. And I was sweating my ass off. And I was like. How many calories do you think you burned doing yard work? I don't think. I sweated so much. It's so hot out today. It's hot out. This is like the first hot day of the year. We have June's graduation party coming up. Maureen's mom's coming. I had to start getting stuff ready. I had to unbox a bunch of umbrellas. What did you actually have to do gardening? What type of grass? So, no. There are these shrubs on our stairs. And we have these long 13 stairs up to my house. And they're overgrown. Beautiful. And we have a railing. And Maureen's mom is soon to be 87. I was like. She's not going to be able to. find the railing. Do you know what I'm saying? Yeah. So, I just needed to do that. I needed to get it in. Because I got no time. So, shrubs were covering the railing. Yeah. So, what did you go around with? A little weed whacker? No. A clipper thing. Oh. You just did it. You went manual. Manual. Yeah. I did it. How long did that take you? 20 minutes? Yeah. It was like a half hour. I did a quick job. Quick job. That's something when you're younger. I'm so glad I'm older. Yeah. Because that's something that you can think about. Because then, if you were younger and you own that house, she would have gotten there. Then, you would have been like, ----, I should have done that. Yeah. I didn't think about it at all. I'm surprised you even thought about it. Did someone remind you? No. You thought of it? Yeah. Wow. Maureen didn't say, Jeff, you know what? Would you mind? No. You thought of it? Yeah. Wow. What a ******* guy you are. I know. I am. That's amazing. You know what? I am. Well, you don't want a drop body on your hands. I don't. I don't want to fall. You don't want to fall. I don't want to fall on this one. No. You don't want to fall on your hands. Not this one. I mean, I know with my mother, too. A fall is... Oh, yeah. We had... Marnie's grandmother fell down the stairs once. Yeah. It was bad. Yeah. Maureen's mom fell. My sister-in-law lives down the street. She fell and... She fell at Erin's? Yeah. And she... Did she break anything? Yeah. Like her face and her wrist. Oh. She fell on her face, broke her wrist. Oh, my God. And then she ended up in June's room for like 10 days. Oh. Went to the hospital. What was that 10 days like for you? Were you waiting on her? Yep. Oh, you were doing orange juice in the morning? Yeah. Almost. Yeah. I bet. So I'm trying to avoid that. Oh, I bet. I bet she was upset that she fell. Yeah. But then she got a taste of your... Yeah. Herbed omelet. She was like... She's like... Not too bad. I might pound the list here. No reason to get on a plane up to NorCal. I might try to phone in your house. You could phone. When I come to the graduation party. You coming? I'm coming. Oh, I can't wait. Yeah. It's gonna be fun. Yeah. We're gonna have taco ladies. June 6th. June 6th, taco ladies. Taco... We're gonna have a bartender. Okay. For Naveen. Oh, okay. Okay. And me. I just said that because you guys... Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're day drinking. Not you. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Day drinking issues, I could tell. Yeah. And it's gonna be a week. You could tell because Maureen's... The anxiety level is just going up. And I have to say, my son, he is the funniest. We were at... You know, we're continuing on the workout train. Yeah. And we were at the gym this morning. Yeah. And then we were leaving. What time? We got there at 9.30. Okay, okay. I did a workout. Late start. Yeah, late start. I couldn't get him up. I said, we gotta go by 8. Okay. We left at 9.30. Okay. And then after, he's like... He said this to me. And I was like... This is weird. He's like, you know, it's gonna be a week with Mom. Oh, yeah. And Gigi's coming. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She's gonna just keep going up, up, up. He's like, we gotta be careful. Yeah. He's right. He's totally right. And what's... How is being careful? What does that mean? It's like, do things like... Check the anxiety level. Check the temperature in the house. Sure. Try to keep it down. Yeah. Oh, go take care of that trash. Yeah, I got it. Got it. Right, right, right. Umbrella. The umbrellas was me. It was like... She bought some umbrellas. They were in a box in front of the house for like five days. I was like, gotta do that umbrella today, or it's gonna be hell. And then I went and opened them up, and I was like... I was like, well, we got six umbrellas, and we only have four bases. So let's order some bases. Right. She's like, can we order? I was like, oh, you are on it. What'd she say? She's like, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, good idea, yeah. What kind? Jeff's on top of this. What kind? You know, cement? I was like, too heavy. Too heavy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we had to go through that. It was a lot. That is funny, too. I did that with my father growing up. Yeah. Constant... Management. Management of mood. Which is not... I mean, this is different now. Max is 20. Right. And then he said to me after that, we were driving home from the gym, and he goes, you know, now that I'm an adult, and I was like... Debatable. He's like, I just... He just came to a realization. He's like, this is it, man. It's like, never ends. What do you mean? He's like... Life? Yeah. He's like, you're going to have to get a job. You have to do this. And then you... And I was like, yeah. And then every week, it's like back to one. It never ends. Yeah. He's like, it never ends. It's like he came to the realization of what this next 60 years is going to be like, and he was like, God damn it. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. It was quite a thing. That's really funny. You brought him into reality. He brought himself, and then I just affirmed it. And he's like, how do you do it? And I'm like, just, you know... Oh, I like that question. He said, how do you do it? Yeah, I was like... And what did you say? I go, you got to let go. You just got to be like, okay, what's in front of me, do what's in front of me. Right. Cannot wallow about everything else. He's like, you do a pretty good job of that. And I was like, you're... You must want some money. And I'm like, I do not. You do a good job of it. I try, but I don't do a great job of it. You cut those hedges today? On the railing? That was what was in front of you? Nothing, nothing. I was pitching my therapist last week. I was like, this, that, this, all family stuff. And he was like, you know what? You need some time for yourself. You need some time. I was talking about... Yeah. This was two weeks ago, because you told Naveen and I this off-podcast. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, what happened? Because we were driving along, and Naveen was... We're just driving along, not saying anything, and Naveen will go, I wonder if Jeff ever got that day to himself. And I go, I don't know. Did I say this? I told it to Maureen. I said, you know, Michael told me. No, no, no. I said, Michael told me I really need some time to myself. Oh, Jeff. She was like, oh, you do? You need some time to yourself? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, you're gone all day. And I'm like, I'm working. That's not time to myself. I'm working. And she's like, oh, apparently you need time to yourself. Well, we'll have to accommodate that. And did she accommodate? No. I did it yesterday. I golfed yesterday. Oh, that's time to yourself. I did it. I went and did it. Who'd you golf with? My friend Tim, but he had to leave after nine holes, and we were golfing. I've never done this before. We were golfing with like a 35-year-old couple, husband and wife, golfing. Okay. Tim and I were both like, can you fathom if Maureen and Abby, that's Tim's wife, golfed? And we were like, we were blown away by it. Right. Like, that would be a good thing. No, like, I can't even imagine. Oh, oh, oh. I can't even imagine. How would it change? It's not your time alone. It's like you do it together. Right, right. How's your golf game? Well, I haven't been golfing, but I did pretty good yesterday, actually. Sometimes when you don't do it for a while, you just like don't try anything, just go out and hit balls. Was it hot? It was hot. Did you get a drink after? Nope. Did you get a sandwich after? No, I bring stuff to eat. But then Tim left, and then the couple left me, and then I was all alone. So Tim leaves after nine. Yeah, ten. So you did 10-3-18 by yourself? No, I didn't. I left. I left because I was with a couple. They're like, we have an early dinner. We have to go. And then I was like behind some people that were really slow. Yeah. And also, this is, we don't talk about sports on here, but I know your love, but it's because of- I like talking about sports. Webby. Webinyama. Webby. Yeah. Webby. Is he in the finals? Yeah. No. He won yesterday, game seven. And I got home to watch it with Max. Oh, man. ****. I was going to watch too. It was epic. And you know, in my mind, I go, oh, the Spurs are in it. Right? He's up against the Spurs? Yeah. I go, the Spurs are in it. And then in my mind, I go, I think the Spurs is the team that I was, the guy I've been trying to watch all year. Yeah, you never- That's him. He made it to the finals? Yeah. No kidding. He beat last year's champs and the MVP of the league, Shane Gillis Alexander. What did you say about Shane Gillis? He was the MVP this year. Yeah. And everybody hates him. Did you say Shane Gillis? Shane Gillis Alexander. No, that's not his name. Shay. Shay something. SG. So what is it now? Now it's the final? Yeah, Shane Gillis is on the Oklahoma City Thunder. I was going to say, I was like, Shane Gillis is the owner of the Oklahoma City Thunder? I was like- No. Wait, so Webinyama's in the finals now? Yeah. Ah. He's going to play the Knicks. Yeah. Oh. And who do you think is going to win? I think the Spurs are going to win. You do? I do. I like talking about sports on here because I like hearing what you have to say. Oh my God. It's so cool. They have such a young team. This guy Dylan Harper is like a rookie. He's playing his ******* lights out. And his dad is Ron Harper who played for- Oh yeah, Ron Harper. Played for the Bulls. Mm-hmm. Unbelievable. But this is non-sports sports. And so I got it in my brain. Max loved this. We were at the gym today. Last night, I was watching the press conference after. Wimby is unbelievable. He's French. He's just sort of way to be. Do you know he studied with monks before this season? No, I didn't know that. He climbed mountains with monks. Seven-five. Oh, wow. And he went to some games in his monk robes to get centered. Okay. He arrived at the game. He didn't go out on the court in a robe. He arrived at the game in monk robes. It'd be cool if they all came out in monk robes. He's 23. He's so much more mature. Poised. The things he says in the press conference after, which I don't remember exactly. But I was like, nobody talks like that. It's unbelievable. What did he say? He just was like, I've been dreaming. I know it sounds, but he was really emotional. And he's like, it's all I've wanted. It's all I've ever wanted is to be here and to execute it. And he's in his second year. Third year. But he's unbelievable. So then I got this thought. I was like, I don't think he has a girlfriend or a wife or anything. And I was like, this guy, who can be with this guy? That's how I opened Instagram. I came up with it on my own. Ready? Yeah. Sasha Obama. Be the best thing of all time. Barack loves basketball. This guy is smart. You sound like my mother right now. Oh, Sasha Obama. You're having a parasocial relationship with a basketball player and a president's daughter. I was looking through Sasha and Malia, too. I was like, which one? And I was like, oh, Malia's 24. Sasha's 24. What makes you think they'll click? I just think they're both smart. They've got the world in front of them. I saw the podcast. Jeff's 100% right. I love Obama. I love Wendy. Yeah. And the best thing is if they get married, you know what her name will be? What? Sasha Obama Webanyama. Okay, I'm in. Right? Yeah, Sasha Obama Webanyama. Yeah. Wow. Obanyama. Yeah. I mean, like if you brangeline it. If you brangelined it, it'd be Obanyama. Wow. What's his first name? Victor. Victor and Sasha. Yeah. That doesn't work. It didn't work. I tried that, too. Vasha. Well, Vasha works. No, Obanyama is good. Sounds like a car coming from Korea. Sasha Obama Webanyama. Obanyama. Yeah. At the Met Gala tonight, Obanyama were there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He was a classic. How do we make this happen? I know. This is my next thing. How do we make this happen? I open this to the floor. Anybody listening to this, how? I mean, I would say you go on TikTok because you're the originator. You've got the passion. Uh-huh. And this is what's going to ignite people. Yeah. You go on TikTok right now, and you just make an account. And you say, hey, I'm just thinking. And you tell this whole story. Or maybe I'll just clip this. Yeah. I'll clip it right now. OK, guys, TikTok, do your thing. Now you have to say, TikTok, do your thing. Is that what people say? Yeah, they'll be like, they'll say something like that. OK, TikTok, do your thing. And then with all the comments, and then eventually the celebrity sees it, and they're like. Yeah, but nobody is going to look at it because I don't know. No, I feel like everybody likes basketball. Well, not everybody, but plenty of people. Yeah. That TikTok would rise to the top. I just think it would be the most amazing thing. It would be the most amazing thing. OK, so let's say that you get together. Yeah. Well, how would you feel? Oh, I'd be over the moon. I would hope to be invited to the wedding. I really would. Let's say you had nothing to do with it, and they just start dating like two years from now. I'd still be so happy. Would you call to Maureen in the other room? Maureen, you're not going to believe this. Yes, I would. Guess who was on a date last night? Yeah, I would. Yeah. A hundred percent, I would. I would. And today, I had to tell Max, and then we got home, and I was like, Matt, and I had to be like, Max, tell Mama what I came up with. Tell Mama what I said about Obama-Yama. Yeah, that's right. That was a conversation that happened with the three of us today. What would Maureen say? She's like, oh, maybe. I got to clean the house. Gigi's coming. She didn't care at all. She didn't care. I get it. I totally get it. It's not a good use of my energy to be thinking about this for hours. No, it's not. It's not. It is not. But it's definitely interesting to hear what goes on in that brain of yours. I know. I spent a lot of time thinking about it. I was like, who could he be with? So how are you doing? It's your wife's birthday. You're in a marathon, it seems like, today. Yeah, I had my birthday on Saturday. How was that? Oh, you didn't miss anything. It was no fun without you. I'm sure it was great. You know what happened? I've already told this story on views. I sat down, and I took the middle seat, and Davina's next to me. We're waiting for everybody to come. It's an 18-person long table, and I'm in the middle. So everyone can sit around me, because it's my birthday. Everybody comes, and they sit to the right. So I'm down the end. How did that happen? I'm down the end like this. The whole time? Not the whole time, but for the first half hour, because the other four people that came were kind of late. So I'm just like this. Like, what the ****? On my birthday. You didn't have a significant other going, like, hey, guys, let's spread out. Let's come down here. Nobody organized it? She didn't do that. Right before we left, Davina said, should I have name cards? Should I bring name cards? And I go, like an idiot, I go, nah, don't worry. Nah, it's too formal. But we should have done name cards. Yeah. Now, if you were there, you would have been sitting right next to me, because you wouldn't have known anybody. That's right. Yeah. I would have been down the end. Yeah. So then I, yeah, you would have been down the end like this. And the whole time, I'd be like, what's his name? Yeah. Who's that? Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really funny. So yeah, so then that was my birthday. My birthday was Saturday, and then Davina's is today. So it's been a whole week of. It's like birthday week. Yeah. And then Sunday came, and I was like kind of depressed. It wasn't my birthday anymore, which I know is like. Last Sunday or today? The day after your birthday. Yeah. I had such a good birthday on Saturday. Yeah. I had lunch with Charlie, which is like amazing. And then we went to the beach, blah, blah, blah. And then Sunday came, and I was like, I don't know if you've ever had this, the day after your birthday blues. Yeah. Totally. It's like, I'm 53 years old, and I'm like, it's not my birthday anymore. Oh, yeah. Yeah. There's a letdown. It's a little day after Christmas-y. Yeah. And so then we started celebrating Davina's birthday on Wednesday, again. Wednesday night, we go see so many people in May that are born. Our friend had a birthday party at the Laugh Factory. Wow. It was a stand-up show. So we saw Theo Vaughn. Wow. He was incredible. Wow. And some other comedians. And that was great. Then Thursday, David had a party. Lizzo performed. What? Yeah. And it was just like. He just gets Lizzo to come to a regular old party? Yeah. Well, it's like Paramount is promoting a scary movie, and Lizzo has a song in Scary Movie, and Paramount had the party at his house. I see. But for his birthday and stuff, he does get big artists. He's had some big ones. He had 50 Cent once. He had Snoop. He had All-American Rejects once. Who else? Anyway. So then that was Thursday. Naveen gets bombed Thursday night at David's party. Nice. And I'm running around trying to make a TikTok for a brand deal. At the birthday party? Yeah. I went to this huge thing on Thursday. I'm like, I'm such a ******* freak. I'm the biggest freak, Jeff. Yeah. I literally want to seriously check in somewhere. Yeah. Well, you don't have to check in somewhere, but you could just check stuff. I want to check in somewhere. We got invited to David's house. Beautiful house. His parties are really fun. Yeah. They're always fun. And I know a lot of people there. Right? And do you not have a good time? No. I go in, and I'm like, I got hired to make a TikTok. So instead of having a good time, I can't do balance. So instead of a good time, I'm like, everyone's like, hey, Jason. Hey, Jason. Everyone's being really nice. And I'm the one that's like, hey, we TikTok. I did a shot. I don't know what to do. So I spend like two hours trying to make this. Maybe like an hour and a half. Party's like, let's see. We got there at 8. We left at 12. So we're there for four hours. Half of it, you're doing. Half of it, I was just like. And then I just look over at Naveen. And she's just ******* having a good time. And then I was just like, you know what? **** it. I don't care. And then I had a great time. But so much of the night, I would be talking to people. And I'd be like, I had headphones in and my phone, because I was trying to listen to the sound. And people were like, are you on a call? And I'd be like, no, no, no. I'm trying to make a TikTok. And then I'm just not good at my job. And I feel like everyone else is so effortless. Yeah, we'll just film a little bit and have fun. But I'm not like that. And then what else happened? You know, that's not news. But you know this. Yeah, but you should know this by now. I mean, we've talked about it before. I know, I know. It's like you're always worried and always trying to make the next thing. I know, I know. You've got to be a little more present. How are you going to get to be more present? Well, what I should do is have a drink. Have one or two drinks. But I just don't do that. Or you could prepare. Be like, OK, this is what my TikTok's going to be. I did prepare. And the problem was the music was so loud that I couldn't hear what I had prepared. Oh. So I was just like, I can't lip sync anything, because I can't hear the ******* song. So then everything was thrown out the window. But I did have a great time talking to a lot of people. Lizzo? Did you talk to Lizzo? I did talk to Lizzo. She was great, though. I was a little pissed off watching the crowd, though. Why? I was just like, Lizzo was up there giving it her all. What were they doing? She's only doing three songs. Well, no one dances anymore. And Gen Z is, you know, they just have their phone up. I'm like, this woman's ******* going for it right now. She's only up there for 10 minutes, guys. 15! She had a set with Sexy Red. Sexy Red was there. Very kind. I met Sexy Red. She's a wonderful woman. I didn't think you'd ever say that, but that's awesome. Well, I didn't think I'd say it either. But then once I met her, I was like, this Sexy Red, she's really cool. And she was really nice. That's why I liked her. She was taking pictures with everybody. But that's a thing people talk about. A lot of Sexy Red is not what they say about her. No, about how people aren't present for stuff. They go to concerts, and they just. I know. And I'm a hypocrite, too, because I literally wasn't present during the party. Yeah, you got to be. But I was pissed off that it made me mad that people weren't dancing or having fun. They were just kind of like. Yeah. But that's what it is now, I guess. I was trying to explain to our younger friends. We went out Friday night with them. And I was like, because they were at the party, and I was like, it pissed me off. They're like, why? That's what people are like. And I'm like, yeah, but it used to be you'd see somebody, you'd be ******* amped. Right. Right? Yeah. I don't know. Then this guy comes up to me at the party. He's like a really cool-looking dude. And I spot him. Naveen's on the couch ******* holding court, literally making people spit their drinks out of their mouth because she's on one. And this guy comes over to me, and he's like 25. He's like, are you Jason? And I'm like, yeah. And he's like, hey. He's like, I saw you do stand-up a really long time ago. And I go, oh, cool, cool, cool. He goes, dude. He's like, I do stand-up now. He's like, you got to do it again, man. And I was like. This is a guy who saw you do stand-up. Yeah, he saw me do stand-up, and now he does stand-up. I was like, how long have you been doing it? And I ended up talking to him at the end of the night for like 45 minutes. We were like on the couch, like locked in. And I got that like comedy lock-in. Have you ever, you know? You know that comedy lock-in when you're just locked in with somebody and you're like, ah. And he's like, he was telling me about times he bombed. I was telling him my best bombing stories. Yeah. And it was like really inspiring. And? And I don't know. What was his advice? He said you got to go back to that. Yeah, he's like, why don't you do it? He's like, you got to do it, man. And I was like, I want to. He's like, well. And then he was like, his name was Saul. And then he was like, he was like breaking it down. He's like, well, why can't you? And I was like, I don't know. I'm like, I just can't. I got to pay my bills. Like, I can't go out and do all that. It'll cost me money if I go and ******* try to go to open. And it's so exhausting to go to open mics, to build an act. Do you have to go to open mics at this point? Can't you get up places? I guess I could. No, I can't get up anywhere. I can't call. Where does he go? I can't call the improv. Does he do an open mic now? He's down in Long Beach playing coffee shops. Oh. Oh, no. There's a club down in Long Beach. There's a good club. It's like a big club. I think it was like a Laugh Factory he said he's at sometimes. Not the Comedy Magic place? Oh, that's in Hermosa. Hermosa. That's a really good club. Oh, yeah. Jay Leno does it every Sunday. Oh, that's where Leno goes, right? He's also got 40 years. That's where Shanling used to go, too. Oh, my God. But anyways, that was really inspiring. Just talking to somebody that was like, I was like, oh, I missed it. I missed that part of it. Even if you go up and you stand up and it's not great, you still have some camaraderie with the guys. Like, oh, that was funny. Or blah, blah, blah. Or someone will walk up to you and be like, oh, I have a tag for your joke or something. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so that was good. Anyway, that was fun. I want to. I really want to. I don't know. I'll see if I can think of something. If I can think of jokes, I don't know if I can. Of course you can. You've done stand-up for a long time. Maybe not for a long time, but you did it for a long time. But don't you feel your brain getting weaker? Yes. Mine's the worst. I'll think of a joke, and it'll be pretty good. And I'll wake up in the morning, and I'll be like, oh, that's good. And an hour later, I'll be like, I have no idea what it was. And I'll be dry. I literally should just record myself all day. Yeah. Oh, man. I was shooting. This is not a joke. But I was shooting this week. And I'm not out shooting a lot, but I've got to clean up the rest of the season for the Storage Wars show. Guys, tune into Storage Wars. Oh, please. They've come back. And not only that, they're getting better ratings than ever. I don't know if you've heard this, but Webanyama's been talking about it. He mentioned it last night. He talked about- That's how I'm going to get to Webanyama. He talked about monks, and he talked about Storage Wars. So make sure you check out Storage Wars on A&E. So it's like, I got this small crew. Can you watch it on YouTube? I don't even know. Yeah. What do you mean you don't know? I know. I should look. I don't know. Probably not new episodes, but you can look at- If I want to watch Storage Wars right now, do I need Cox Cable or something? No. You can go to the website. You know, A&E. Oh, you can watch it on the website? On A&E. And you can probably go to YouTube and watch it. You can probably watch it on Hulu, too. Yeah. We were shooting somewhere at someone's house. And the guy was really nice. And he put out coffee. And he's in Glendora. And he's like some local donut place. Glendora. That's a vibe. Oh, yeah. I know. Yeah. Not Pasadena. Nope. Not Pasadena. Nope. Glendora. Yeah. And he put out these like donuts that I guess Elvis used to go to that donut shop every time he was in town for these like peach donuts or something. Anyway, he had them. And I was like, that is so nice of you to bring these donuts. And then we're shooting. And the sound guy goes, hey, you haven't been out in a while, but you know, everybody has like a- Everybody, like, you could just- Because we just shoot. We don't stop shooting until it's over, and then you cut. That's it. You don't do something and cut. Do something and cut. So they need to- You just keep shooting. You just keep shooting for two, three hours, figure out what you're doing. But camera and sound, they need to know when they're done. And he's like, you know, most- He's like, what's your- Like, you just want to say, cut. Do you have a catchphrase? And I was like, I was not even thinking, and I was like, yeah, yeah, I got a catchphrase. It's let me get a donut. And they loved it. They were like, oh, let me get a donut. That means cut. Wow. So we went to the second shoot, and they were like, we were finishing up, and he looks at me, he's like, you going to get a donut? Let me get a donut. Cut, cut. And that does have a nice ring to it. Let me get a donut. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And that means trying to sell a catchphrase to me. That's how the tune is made. Oh, that's how the tune is made. Yeah, like she makes a good point. She'll go, and that is how the tune is made. And she's been selling it, and I didn't like it at first, but she's done it enough that I'm like, now I'm like that, and that's how the tune is made. Yeah, you've tried catchphrases. I'm always trying to get catchphrases from people. Yeah. Remember a long time ago, this is very dated, but you would say when something's not right with somebody, you go, you know, there's a little dirt in the Brita. That was a good one. Damn, I forgot about that one. Everybody had a Brita back then in New York City. Everybody had a Brita. Yeah, everybody had a little Brita. No, no, no. Jay's fine, but you know, there's a little dirt in the Brita. Got a little dirt in the Brita. Well, that's really good. Didn't catch on. I don't know why. Just with you. And so you said, take a, what is it? Take a donut? Let me get a donut. All right. Let me get a donut. It's fun to say. It is. It's fun to say. And it's definitive because everybody's like, oh, we're done. Yeah. We got all the stuff we need. Do you like the way I said it? Yeah. And then you can say it different ways. You could have a really hard- Show me the way you said it. I'd be like, all right, and let me get a donut. And everybody goes, oh. That's great. Cut. Cut, cut, cut. Yeah. Very nice. Yeah. Andrew. Yeah. Pull back. Sound. Uh-huh. And let me get a donut. We're just going to get some room tone. Yeah. I think we got everything we need. Let's get some room tone. No, no, no. It's like this. All right. We're just getting room tone. And thank you very much, ladies and gentlemen. Let me get a donut. Like that, right? That silence of room tone. Yeah. We're going so niche right now for the audience that's never been on a film set. But when you're on the film, if you're on like a shooting set, they get room tone. Yeah. Especially if you shot something good and then, or maybe you had a good time on set. Whether you were an actor or whatever, right? Mostly it's if you're somewhere, like we're in someone's house and the air condition's running. Yeah. And we're not going to ******* sweat our ass off. So you get the room tone of the air conditioner. Mm. You lay that track under everything else and it negates that sound. Mm. That's how you do it. Yeah. It's a great feeling when you get room tone because you're done. Yeah. And then they go, we're just going to get room tone. You're like, ah. Right when they say room tone, you're like, ****, yes, I'm going home. And then you watch a sound guy just, right? Yeah. Just hold the thing waiting. Yeah. And then he gives the thumbs up eventually. Yeah. Yes. He does. Yeah. We're good. He listens like this. Yeah. Then he'll go, he'll go like this. He'll go. Yeah. Yeah, that's nice. And then the thumb. Yeah. Thank you very much ladies and gentlemen. That's a cut. Nope. Thanks everybody. No. Get a donut. Let me get a donut. And then someone should I think tomorrow, I expect people will be like, getting a donut. Which means we cut. We cut. You think it's, you think it's caught on that much? It has to be. This is my this is what has same crew tomorrow. So say it sometimes though jokes Big they'll be great for a day. Yeah, and then you go back the next day and it's like No, you got to push through if you love it. You got to push through So if tomorrow yo, if no one's saying let me get it done if I know I'm the one asked Oh, you're gonna say if I say it and no one's I'll be like guys What did we learn last week? Yeah, that's my that's my it's a cut. Okay. Yeah, it's not forget it Yeah, but what if you say let me get a doughnut and everyone's over it. You're gonna keep saying that yeah back No, no, I'm gonna you're gonna keep saying it keeps because if it were me Yeah, and I come back tomorrow on the next day after ******* Friday was a hit. Let me get a doughnut Yeah, if I if Monday morning, I'm driving in and I think I'm gonna do that Let me get it and I say let me get a doughnut and it doesn't go and it doesn't and it doesn't get a reaction I might just go back to cut. Oh, wow. Yeah. No, you're not you. No, not if you believe in it. Yeah Force people so you're willing to it you're willing to ride to this out until it comes back around again and it's funny again a hundred percent Tom Green it yes Amazing. You ever see Tom Green do something for 53 times? Yeah, and it's like funny and that's not funny And then it's funny. Yeah, it's really not funny. I'm gonna do that. Yeah Wow Jeff you are a superstar You are a superstar and mostly because you drove over here to podcast. Oh, man It was I forgot that the Dodger game just got out I got I got out of my neighborhood and right into a line of traffic and I was like, there's no way We got to get portal systems. We really need tubes that just make you appear. Oh Man, well, it'll be interesting to see what you think of the bowl party after next week. I don't know your party Yeah, June's graduation party. Yeah prep me for it. What do I do when I get there? Just to have a gift. No, you don't need a gift. What do you do? What do you do? What do you give a kid? Nothing, you don't have to give me say I were to give a gift What's it what you had to go to a graduation party? What would your graduation party? This is a graduation party it is Yeah, so if you had to go to another graduation party I'm gonna say what it is because then you're gonna do it and I don't want you to do it I'm not gonna do anything. Don't do anything. I won't okay, but if you were going to a graduation party, what is the protocol? I would probably $25 to Starbucks. No, I would get a card and put money in it. Yeah, how much cash? I'm not saying come on. I mean it depends who It depends who if it was a relative it would be a lot if it was not a relative Yeah If it was a relative, yeah if it was Rob McKenna's Child 200 to 50 Rob Rob's kid 250 something like that. What about your brother Brian? Yeah, that would be 500 that would be five and that'd be the top. That's the you're not going I don't have enough money to do more than I think five is insane. Yeah, it is a lot That's a lot of money. It's like, uh, it's alright you you you go You buy a lot of Keystone light with that and freshman year college, whatever, you know, hmm. What's the party gonna cost you? Couple grand. Yeah, I think I'll make it back. No. Oh you mean in there? But don't bring a gift don't bring money, it's okay. I feel bad. Did you invite some of the listeners? Yeah I invited I invited. Yeah on Spotify. I was like, oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, I'm always doing that I'm always saying where I live Call you right away You don't understand social media the way I do I don't I know I'm not I'm not you don't understand what could happen It's not my thing. I don't people will come and they'll they would they would they think people people like will DM your family? Yeah, I had someone call my sister once. Oh my god once And that's not to say that everybody that listens we don't love you guys We love of course 99% of you are ******* great. Yeah, but if there is, you know, one or two that are like ******* loons years ago Yeah, there was a person who was like consulting at my my company Yeah in development older person. She had two kids. Yeah, who were like teenagers and she came to a Development meeting and was like, this is so surreal. I never told you this She was really behind and like the times of stuff and somehow They she's not from LA. She's in town consulting and Like it didn't go that well. Okay, I'm she was here one and you know you you're pitching things and she came in and she was like, I think The world of influence is really interesting and we're like, yeah, we know right This is the time when it was like no influencers are gonna do TV because yeah, you do whatever they want They make tons of money to be on a discovery show and not make a lot of money and blah blah blah apparently her daughters Really were into you. Okay, and Apparently he found your address and drove by your house and you were walking outside. Oh, really? Yeah this house Yeah, oh really and she's like it's I'm in this meeting and she's like it's so fun She's like it was it was random, but my daughters told me about this Guy and he's so funny online. He's on he's on YouTube He was a Viner and we drove by his house. He was outside and he was really nice I think we should try to figure out something for him. His name is Jason Nash That's my best friend from college you if you said anything but that I'll never I'm gonna be so mad Did you say that's my best friend from college? Yes, I did. You did say that. Okay. Thank you I'm glad we got something right today Cuz ******* spent most of the podcast talking about web and llama and no shell Obama Sasha sorry You did say that and then what'd she say? She was like, oh my god, would you what are we gonna do and I was like, I don't know. Yeah Wow. Yeah, I feel bad. I don't feel bad. I mean, I don't know I just smartly have people come by your house. I've been like, hey You know what? We get we get we hit workers in the neighborhood that are driving by and see me Uh-huh, and and that'll be fun. I'm like, I'm down the street The best we tell David I said hi. Yeah. Yeah. I'll tell David you said hi person that I'll never see again Yeah, hey David Brent says hi Brent this He was on my street. Yeah, he was cutting lawn on my dream Yeah, he is. I went out to uh, I had a moment the other day and this is this was interesting I order my Pete's coffee and I order it'll Pete's opens at 530. Mm-hmm Okay, and so I get on the app at 530. I order my coffee. All right, we had to go somewhere early I don't know where we're going and So I I go down there and I get there at 536. Mm-hmm And it says I do see that it says it'll be ready at 545 So I like walk into the store and they're setting up and I'm like, oh, I look for the coffee. It's not there It's usually ready by the time I drive down there and they go no coffee. So 545 so I go I Go. Oh, okay. Okay, I go so I do I got this You can make it and the woman goes What? Like that and I go it's okay. It's fine. It's fine. No worries I'll come back. So when I we drive the airport, I come back and get the coffee like 45 minutes later It's melted. Am I in the wrong? I mean, yes Yeah, you what? I mean she could have been like, you know what you're here. I go there every single day Yeah, I go there every single day. Well, don't tell me be honest. I'm in the wrong Yeah You are it says it's ready at 545. It doesn't they're not they have a pro they're like I gotta set up They do have to set up. Yeah She could have been like I would but I gotta get ready. I'll do the best I can if you want to hang out Yeah, she didn't do that. No, she was not having it and I chalked it up for I chalked it up to I said Oh, you know what? I've been like that had a like you're just yeah, it's early. Yeah ******* deal with anyone You need snap a little bit. Yeah, I mean I I've done that so I wasn't met and then the next time I saw her She was really nice. All right, man 545. That's the ******* time So is this what you're wearing to dinner, what are we doing you gonna change I'm gonna wear No, I'll probably wear jeans. Did you wear the shirt the second night to your birthday party? Yeah, you did I did it smell No, I wore today, too I took it off for this podcast because I didn't want to go two weeks in a row with the with the green shirt Yeah, and thanks for unboxing last weekend. Oh, yeah, it was really fun. Yeah And then we went to dinner. Yeah. Hey, oh, how was your dinner? No, I went to dinner with you. Oh Yeah, we had a great you know what you not being at my birthday it was great because um We had gone out the night before so I felt like I yeah, we got the time. That was really fun Oh, I eat so much food With me. Yeah, where'd we go? We went to that Mexican place. Oh, yeah, I ate too much. Yeah. Well you ordered the steak man I told you to just get tacos. I I know well you were like you want that steak you're trying to get I did Yeah, you're I didn't yeah, really? Yeah, you were like you want that ribeye, don't you? But in the end I could have the ribeye tacos it would have been fine, you know, we went back Yeah, a couple days later to the same restaurant. We're getting in the car Naveen was like she's like you really like that steak That Jeff got why don't you get it? And I was like, yeah, I was like that steak that Jeff got was good Then I sat down and I was like that's too much food Which is which was my original point that I said to you, right? Yeah, but it was good. It was good You need that much No, I I felt full and then I went home and Maureen's whole like cohort from her school was there and I just yeah Yeah, how was that? I just did you get did you get any time with them? No, no, they were already gone No, they were there. They were outside. Am I like, oh do it do it do it for me what they're outside They're playing their games. It's a bunch of their game. This is Maureen's Graduating class. Yeah, and they're all getting together Yeah, Jeff's wife all getting together for a couple weeks after yeah, Jeff walks in what happens They were she's like we try to get the heat lamps to work, but the gas isn't there I don't think there's any gas and of course, I'm like, maybe just hold on Let me see if I can do it. Sure, then I'm like, nope, there's no gas Then I'm like, hi everybody and they're they're just like hi and I was like, okay, and then I was like, where's June? She's like she's in the backyard with her friends. And then I ran in the backyard. I'm like What are you guys doing you hiding and they're like, yeah, we're hiding and I'm like, can I hide with you and they were like No, that's okay. I'm gonna go to the bedroom. That's it. Then you went to the bedroom just when you didn't pull up a chair and Given the Jeff Charlie down by the time we got to dinner thing They were in a late group, but they had fun apparently had fun And then how is your dinner that you went to when you missed my birthday dinner? That's right guys Leave a comment let Jeff know that he was not at my birthday dinner and I had to sit on the end It's my fault, how is that dinner? It was good just ended up being just another couple we caught back up It was good. Good. What kind of food you have? We went to Herman's and oh, yeah, it was really good. Oh, I had a bunch of weird stuff Well, we went to Ketsu. Yeah, you did. Yes, sir. That sounds special. No, it's fine All right. Well guys, thank you. That's that's that's the show. You've got a whole nother night ahead You had a whole day now you did this I gotta go man How many people tonight? Just me. I'm Naveen's friend and I mean that's it just three people. Yeah Sunday night 930. I know it's a restaurant. We couldn't get another reservation. It's so late. I called like three times I can't get through I keep trying to call and move it up, but I don't know but they want to go there So it's really funny with when they're together. It's like I'm like walking around with like two hot chicks. It's so funny I walked into the pool today and like you could just people are like, what are you doing with these two? Yeah, what are you what's this guy doing? Yeah, he pipping them out. Is he rich? Yeah, is he rich? Yeah I'm not rich. Yeah, I don't know why yeah, I don't know why they're with me. Yeah, and then that girl took her top off I don't know why I wonder what that is. Take your top off in the pool. I don't know I don't think she wants a thing wants the attention ask Marie when you get home I will I think it's a look I don't want to say that she wants the attention But it is an odd thing to do at that place I mean when people go to a beach where you can take your top off I don't think they're doing it for attention I think they go to that beach because they don't want to have a top on Mmm, and everybody else is doing it and it's just like it's not for attention But if you go to a pool at a hotel or something hotel pool, yeah, and you take your top off. Hmm I gotta go with yeah, you want some attention? Yeah, I think so. I thought that too But then I thought to myself Well, I'm a guy but I like to take my top off like it feels good to take my shirt off different top Yeah different. Oh, why why is it different if if I feel good with my girl would feel good, too But what if you would in France, they take them off all the time. Yeah, but that's the culture This is not the culture here. Mmm interesting. Yeah interesting. Oh my god. She's she's gonna think we Just can't we're about to end and then it popped into my head. No, no, we didn't do an hour on on topless I swear you can check the tape. It does seem like it does seem like we did you left on it and you came back? On it. All right, guys, that's a show stay lit Let me get a donut