Are We Too Financially Dependent on Family?

Brought to you by the EveryDollar app. Start budgeting for free today. My husband and I have been married for almost a year now. We've been essentially running from my father-in-law for almost three years. We do not pay a monthly flat rate rent. Rather, we pay just the monthly expenses like propane, electric, and minor repairs. So we're very fortunate to be in this situation as it has allowed us to stay safe. But I'm to the point where I want out of this house. I prefer for my father-in-law to just be my father-in-law at this point, if you know what I mean. Yes, I do. Instead of your landlord? However, yes. Now, is he living there or is it just a house he owns that you guys are living in? No, this is just an extra house that he owns. It's paid off and everything. I don't know. He's like gifting it to us just to live there for free. He means no ill will by it by any means. But you feel it. Yes. Are there some strings attached relationally? Not exactly, and I don't think he intends to do anything purposely, but I just kind of feel obligated to do certain things. I think it's time for us to get out. But my husband and I do not agree on this. He wants to wait until we have enough cash to purchase the home, whereas I'm okay with starting to look now and having a mortgage. So he wants to do 100% down payment? Yes, not just saving a down payment. Oh gosh, how much is that going to cost? What's the number? I'd say $250,000 to $300,000. How much do you guys have now? We have roughly $120,000. We have $51,200 in our savings, and then we have $68,445 in a CD. How long would it take to realistically do this, which means you've got a three to six month emergency fund, and you've got the cash money for the house? I would say three to four years. What do you guys make a year? We bring home, well, we don't bring home. We make roughly $110,000 to $120,000. It just depends on overtime. And I will say this is my first year with an actual salary. So you're essentially living on 60 and banking 60 in a year, if it goes well. I think I'd like to hear more from you because I'm thinking about my situation. My husband and I, we rented a house from Sam's mom, which is my mother-in-law, and we did that for 10 years almost while we paid off debt, saved up a down payment for a house. And I understand what you mean. Nina is the best. She gave us so many breaks, but I still always felt a thing. I was grateful, but at the same time, when it was time to move into our own place, I was really excited to have our own place. With interest rates dropping, now could be the time to buy a home. But don't rush in blind. There's a right way and a wrong way to do it. So sit down with Churchill Mortgage. Their local experts will walk you through the process. And remember, building equity is still one of the best ways to create financial security. Go to churchillmortgage.com slash Ramsey offer to learn more. This is a paid advertisement. NMLS ID 1591 NMLSconsumeraccess.org equal housing lender. When it was time to move into our own place, I was really excited to have our own place. But I want to know, because a lot of that can live in our own minds too. And yes, it does affect the relationship, but because he's not living there and because it sounds like he's happy to do this service, it sounds like maybe there's more to it. But there's part of me that's like, hey, don't block the blessing. Like if there's a blessing here, don't block it. Is there more we should know about it before I say that? I think it just feels like we're leeching off of it. In my opinion, it feels like I'm leeching off of his dad and I don't ever want to be like reliant on somebody else. Now we're getting somewhere. What if you paid a reasonable rent instead of just utilities and things like that? Because that'd still be cheaper. I don't think he would take it. He's a very stubborn man. I don't think he would allow us. What would it cost to rent elsewhere right now if you guys were to leave today and go rent if you weren't ready for the house? $1,200 at least, I'd say. I'm just trying to do the math of the reality. So $1,200 times, let's say a year, that's $14,000 less that you would bank in the year. And I'll throw in another wrench. We are expecting our first child in November. So maybe I am just being a little bit dramatic here and I need to suck it up for another couple years since we are having a child. What you could do if you really wanted to, but to your point, he's not going to take it. You could pay $1,200 into an account and just say, this makes me feel better. And when you're ready to move out, you could say, grandpa or dad-in-law, this is however much money, this is $50,000 and he's not going to take it. And then you're going to say, well, I really tried. I did my best. And it's okay for somebody to give you a gift because think about it like this. If you had the ability to do something like this for your children's children, for your children, would you do it? Absolutely. Absolutely. So that's a joy that he has to be able to do that. And so I think sometimes it's hard to be on the other end of somebody else's generosity. It doesn't sound like it's stunning your growth. Like if I was concerned that it was really... If you guys weren't saving any money, there was a bunch of strings attached or relationship was awkward and strained, then I'd say, hey, it's worth getting out and paying the $1,200. But to Jade's point, it feels like we're just blocking a blessing because it feels weird. And it is hard to accept generosity. It does put you in a place of weakness. But I think that's okay for a season. If this was 10 years and you guys weren't moving forward, but you guys have a baby on the way, you're banking 60K a year to save up for this house. And can I also tell you, Kenzie, it's okay if you guys went and got a 15 year mortgage where the payment was no more than a quarter of your take home pay. And then you pay that off. Because the truth is the goalposts will keep moving with this house. That $300,000 house four years from now is a $375,000 house. Yeah. And I feel like to a certain extent, the mortgage would make us save more, if that makes sense. Because right now we're living there kind of rent free. We don't really have, like, yeah, we have a budget, but we're kind of, you know, we don't have. You can be a little more comfortable and have a little more of your luxuries when you don't have the rent. So that's why I'm going, could you save 70 instead of 60? I think you might be able to do even better if you guys got really focused on it. It's not going to be three to four years. It's going to be May of 2028. We are out of here. And whatever we have saved, that's it. That's the down payment. That might be a nice compromise because it gives you a timeline. So this is not an endless, well, maybe, but then four years from now, the house price has moved. We want a different house because we have two kids now. We need to save up $500,000. So that's where I would come to a compromise where you guys land on something a little more solid. I like that plan. Than vibes. I like that plan too. Good old compromise. I want nobody to win. That's how you know the argument went well. That's so great. Well, congrats on the baby, Kenzie. Thank you. Thank you guys. That's so exciting. That's a good, you know, Jade, this is a good time to remind people the principles around housing. Dave has always said that the best plan is 100% down plan. If you can do cash, we love that. But we won't yell at you if you get a 15-year mortgage. It's the only debt we won't yell at you for where the payment's no more than a quarter of your take-home pay. Yeah, that's right. I'm crunching the numbers for them. A $300,000 house with $100,000 down on a 15-year, probably looking at about $2,000,000. Yeah. Good. So if they take home $8,000,000, they're right there in the parameter. They could go buy a house today. Now they're going to take on the burden of home ownership, which comes with its own- That's true. Joys, highs, lows, roller coaster. Adulting. What can I say? It needs a new HVAC the week after we move in with the brand new baby. Yes, but to your point, the goalpost is always going to move here, and I would hate for that to keep somebody from jumping in with both feet. To save up $3,000 or $350,000, that's a great thing, but if it's going to take you six years to do it, well, now suddenly that $350,000 isn't going to get what you thought it was going to. And now you're frustrated, going, well, I can't save as fast as inflation's happening in the housing market. You can, yeah. And if you saw what happened during the pandemic, I mean, it was insane. It was- That $300,000 home 18 months later was $500,000. Right. And here's the thing you have to remember. For the person who jumped in, they were like, this is great. If you bought a house in 2019 or real early 2020, you were like, score. Yes. That's why I'm like, jump in. The best time to buy a home is when you can afford it, not when all the planets are aligned and everything, it's perfect. It's when you can afford it. And if you can do it, I say jump in. Real estate is a ladder. You know, start at the lowest rung that you can get in on and don't be afraid to climb it until you get into the house that you want. Because then you lock in that mortgage payment for the duration of the loan. So you're not dealing with that moving goalposts anymore. And then it's a full savings account. Outside of property taxes and insurance going up, which that's a piece to factor in. And the last piece is, you know, thinking about Kenzie's situation with a kid on the way. What if she wants to stay home one day? Well, that might change the figures and facts to where I would be planning for that option. Always. Which means you don't want to have a giant payment and jump into a house too early. There is this Goldilocks sweet spot. And that's that 25% and maybe factor it off his income and where that's going to give you that flexibility. So that's the point of the baby steps is to give you option, margin, meaning. All of that is built into the plan. Create your free every dollar budget today. The simplest way to budget for your life.