Placenta Complications Led to the Most Profound Experience of My Life

I had just, it was actually back in 2004, I had just given birth to my youngest son, my third son, and I had what was called retained placenta. And so I was hemorrhaging and the doctor made the decision to take me into the OR, put me under anesthesia and remove the placenta. And so when I was in the OR and they were putting the oxygen mask on me, my thought was, I have to stay awake. I can't go to sleep. I had that thought. I kind of knew that something was going to happen. I didn't know what it was, but I'm like, you have to stay awake, stay awake. And of course you can't, you can't stay awake. I was out. But during that time for four and a half minutes, my heart stopped on the operating table when I was in the OR. And when I went back and pulled the medical records, they cited that it was due to complications to heart disease. So I fell asleep and I was fighting it, but I was instantly out. And when I woke up, I was encompassed in this beautiful, golden, yellow, white light. We don't have the vocabulary here in this life, in this reality to explain the colors, to really do it justice, to articulate it, the experience. I'm going to do the best that I can. But we don't have a word for that, the color that I was bathed in. The best I can explain it as is this golden, yellow, white light. And when I woke up in it, the feeling that I had was one of just love, just pure, unconditional love, peace, and contentment. And at that moment when you've gone through something and you can finally breathe and exhale, just that peace and contentment is what I felt. And it was just a knowing. And I also, I want to explain and try to articulate that time there doesn't exist as it does here. That linear time, that man-made time doesn't exist. So everything that was happening to me happened at the same time, but separately. And that's really hard to wrap your mind around. So I am going to try to put it in a chronological order so that it's understandable that it was all happening at the same time, even though it was separate. So I woke up and I had this feeling of peace and love and safety and this warmth to my core being that I'd never felt before. I remember the safest I'd ever felt when I was a child at my grandparents' house and it was snowing outside and I didn't get to sleep over. And just that peace and that love and that warmth I felt there and that safety, that warmth. It was like that that magnetized that by a million times is what I was in. And it wasn't just a feeling, it was my entire essence, my entire being. It was a wave of energy. It was a living palpable wave of energy, this light that I was bathed in. And also everything was communicated by thought. It was an instant knowing. There were no words that were spoken. So I wake up in this light and it was just the most heavenly feeling I've ever experienced. And I had a thought, but again, the first syllable of that thought, it was answered. It was just an instant knowing and I knew exactly where I was at. So I woke up in this light. I see these divine beings all the way around me. I'm in a circle and I'm surrounded by all these divine beings. And I was having a thought of where am I? And even before I could get the W of the where of that thought out, it was your home and you're loved. And I knew it instantly. And I knew we were all connected. I knew we were all one and I knew we were loved. It was just pure, pure love. And so when I first recognized the beings, they had like a ghost shape, like a ghost outline is what I saw, but that was just to kind of acclimate me to my surroundings and where I was at until I had that instant knowing. And then I recognized them through their vibration, through their energy. And we all had a vibration, but they were all an energy and a vibration, but all at different levels. So mine wasn't as fast as the divine beings were vibrating. There was faster. And then we all had a different rate of vibration and a different color. And then together, those vibrations, those colors merged together and it made up that beautiful golden light, yellow light that we were in. And I knew that that light is where we're from. That's what we were made from, that with the divine, that's God, that's love. We're just love, unconditional, pure love. And I knew that our purpose in this lifetime, in this dimension, because I was shown that we live multiple dimensions in multiple lifetimes at the same time. But I knew that the purpose for this one, well, all of them, but specifically this one, because I just had come from this one, was to come down here and learn and to love. I mean, we're really here to love and grow in love. But to do that, there are lessons that our soul wants to learn, that we want to experience, so that we can expand. So we have that expansion. So we do raise our vibrations. So while I was there, and I'm surrounded by all these beautiful divine beings, and I'm getting all this information, I had these three messages that were continually going through my being, through my vibration. And again, everything is, in my experience, what I experienced, it's vibration, it's energy. And so these messages were actually palpable, viable, live beings, even though they were messages that I was receiving. And it was that, you know, we are unconditionally loved. Everything's always as it's supposed to be, and everything will be okay, it'll always be all right. And those those messages were going through me over and over and over again. So I knew, I knew that those were important, that I needed to carry those with me, no matter what happened, those, I had to carry those with me. And those had to be my truth. So and I just kept getting those over and over again, I was shown everything, I can't break it down, but I was shown everything. So I, I knew that, you know, my action towards someone, it affected that person, which then in turn, affected how they reacted with another living being or soul or plant, I could see that ripple effect, that butterfly effect, some people call it how we all affect each other. And so and I understood, and I understood why things happen the way that they had up until this point. And I just knew, I understood and I knew in that instant knowing that we were all connected, and we all do affect each other, we really are all one, which is really hard in this lifetime, because we're so focused on, you know, what's mine, and what's best for me, and what benefits me and, you know, our 3d life, and living and surviving day to day. But in that moment, in that time, I knew, you know, it's going to be okay, and we are all connected. Now I can see because I did that, I affected that person that way, and it affected that plant that way. And insect that way, we're all connected. And so that was beautiful. I was shown that when we do go home, you do have a life review. But it's not like, for me, I was shown that it's not like in pictures. It's not like where you're just sitting there watching it. You're actually in it, you're experiencing it. So, and it's not, there's nobody there judging you, God's not there, or a higher source or divine being, I call the higher source, the higher power God. But that was just I was raised Catholic, I was, I was Lutheran, I was baptized Catholic, but I was raised Lutheran. So when I, when I had gone home, my first recognition was of Jesus and Mother Mary. And of God, but I was shown that if I would have was a Buddhist, Buddha would have come forward for me. But again, and shown that religion is correct, all religion is correct. It's just been interpreted incorrectly by man. And that's due to, you know, biases, perception, greed, hate, power, it's just been interpreted, you know, from that person's perspective, from what they're here to learn. So I, and I get that asked that question a lot, I do not believe in organized religion anymore. And that's just, again, because of my experience based on what I experienced at that time, and it's just come back with me now. But I was shown we have this life review, and there's nobody judging you. God's not sitting there, Ascended Masters are not sitting there, Jesus, Buddha, no one's sitting there judging your life. You're not even judging your life, you're there, and you're experiencing your life again, but you're experiencing it from other people's point of view, what you put them through, you're feeling what you made them feel by your actions. And that's where your healing comes in. You know, because you're going back to your true divine self, and we are truly love, and all we want to do is love and grow and expand, you know, that hurts, when you hurt somebody, it hurts. And so I was shown that, and that's where our healing comes in, and that we have to heal from it. It takes some people longer to heal, because, you know, some of their acts that they committed may have been, you know, more traumatic, than others. But I was shown that, so there is a, I was shown a life review, but it's not how I imagined that it would have been before I had my experience. I was shown, I wasn't shown anything in the future, and in fact, to this day, I have a really great connection with my guides, and you know, I'll talk with them daily, and I can't, I try and try, and I cannot get any information for myself. You know, it's like, when am I going to meet my next partner? You know, am I going to get a promotion? There's just some things that, you know, we just are not supposed to have the answer to. We just need to live in the moment, experience and make our choices, and live our life. But if we're looking at, and we're living at it from a perspective of love, then you can't go wrong. You're always going to make the right decision, even if it isn't a mistake for you. So, it was such a profound experience, and I didn't get the option to stay. I wasn't asked, hey, do you want to stay? Do you want to go back? I wasn't given the option, and I woke up to the doctor yelling at me, like in this very stern voice, to wake up, and I just remember, I was angry. I did not want to wake up. How dare he bring me back to this? I was cold. I was heavy. I was sore. I was in pain, and I didn't want to be there. I wanted to be home. I wanted to be home. This felt foreign, and I was angry, and how dare he pull me back and bring me back here? And so, I wasn't given the option, and later on, when I asked my guides, like, well, I've heard that people get the option to stay, and they're like, well, you would have argued with us. There was no point because you have more things that you have to do, and you have to learn, and I know it was for my children. It was for my sons, and also, my lessons for myself that I'm here in this lifetime to learn are self-love, self-worthiness, forgiveness. I have quite a few that I work on every day, and I struggle with every day, but I have a lot more learning in this lifetime and this reality to do, and that's why I'm back. It was really a profound experience. There was a lot of information that I received. There is a lot to it. The more I talk about it, and the more I write about it, the more downloads that I get from it, and the more that I remember every time. I did write a little book, a little affirmation book, where I took the messages that I received just to put them out there because my life up to the near-death experience, I had some traumatic childhood experiences, and then I had my near-death experience, and then I had some traumatic experiences after my near-death experience with loss, like losing family members and losing pets that I loved, and I know that having those messages that I received really gave me hope and gave me hope, and turning those into affirmations daily really helped me daily to ground myself and to remember that this is temporary, and I am here out of love, and I am here to love, so if I'm making choices based on that, I'm going to be okay. It's always going to be okay, and I'll get through it. No matter what, I'll always get through it. Even at my lowest, when I thought things could never get worse, it always got better, and I always got through it. I guess I really just want to leave with the messages that I received that we are unconditionally loved. You are unconditionally loved. Everything will be okay. It's always all right, and everything's always the way that it's supposed to be, and I feel like if you hold on to those, even in your darkest moments, your darkest hours, when you feel like it can't get any worse, that there's always some hope. There's always some light. I always like to say, never lose sight of the light.