one year ago I decided to change my entire life & here's what happened (it saved me)

When it comes to changing your entire life in a year, step one, and I'm also gonna be a little bit big sister, a little harsh, a little over a year ago. I just got into such a low, low place, and so many of my dreams are just coming to fruition after just a really dark, tough time. Be open and take action. The mission is to help women find peace and confidence. You have full control to create yourself in the life that you want to live. You attract the right people by being the right person. We will be getting Martha Stewart on the podcast. We will be getting Ina Garten on the podcast. Hi, house guests. I hope you guys are having a fabulous day. Did y'all know that subscribing to this YouTube channel is completely free? It is a very easy, simple, free way to support the show and help us grow. If you do this, we are able to bring you better content and guests that you guys really want to see. All you have to do is hit that red subscribe button. And if you guys are new here, comment below where y'all are coming from, and if you are a returning house guest, comment below the first episode that you watched. Thank you in advance for subscribing. I love y'all so much. Hi, house guests. Welcome back to my home. But it looks a lot better, I will say. We have done a little house guest refresh, if you guys couldn't tell. And I feel very passionate about this refresh. By no means is that like a rebrand, but we are, you know, we are up-leveling. We are taking it to the next level, which is quite literally what up-leveling means. First up, let's just talk about what you guys are saying, because if you guys are watching or you're listening on Spotify or Apple Podcast, our videos should be available now as well. So it's not just for YouTube viewers. You guys can watch it on YouTube, or you can watch on Spotify. You can watch it and listen. This show is meant to be like a video-forward show. Like, I am a video-forward creator, and I have spent far too much time and energy making this set, and by set, I mean the entry room to my house, the most perfect little podcasting nook that you ever did see, okay? So let me take you guys through, really, I guess we'll just start at the beginning, because I guess the aesthetics are not the most important part. Okay, I do feel like I'm in a new era of my life, not just because I'm engaged, but because of a billion different things. We will get into that, because I'm very passionate about how you can change your entire life in a year, and I know I've talked about that and touched on that throughout the podcast, but I think that now, as we are just kind of laying the groundwork for, like, where the show's going, this is the first one, really kind of, and we're not, like, in a new season. Fun fact, I've actually never missed a week of podcast uploads, like, literally ever, since I started in, like, 2018. Never once have I missed a week. So I don't do seasons, but we are in a new era, if you will, and this kind of just came from, I feel like I've grown up. Like, I feel like I am, God forbid, truly a grownup. You know the craziest thing about me is that I'm, like, so excited to be, like, 30 and 40 and 50, but, like, I don't want to admit to being a grownup. You know what I mean? So, anyway, I'm in a, like, new era. I'm coming out of a very dark time. I worked very hard to get here. I know I talk about this a lot on the podcast, but I am just so passionate about it. I'm so passionate about mental health. I've always been passionate about those things, but I just think coming out of some of the darkest days of my life to being where I am now, I just have, like, even more empathy to people who, when you are in that, like, I just think I had experienced very, I had experienced trauma and tragedy in all these things prior, but this has just been a new low. Anyway, with that being said, I feel like I'm entering, like, the next chapter of my life. I am very happy. I'm obviously engaged. Things are, I just feel like a lot of things are, like, finally coming to fruition for me, and I don't say any of that to, like, brag because I, like, anytime I say that, I'm like, I just think back to, like, myself when I could, like, barely get out of bed and I was just in such a devastating spiral and you really feel like it happens for everyone else, but it's never gonna happen for me, and that's what I felt like in a lot of things in my life, but I just feel so grateful for where I'm at now having experienced all of that. I'm just surrounded by love. I feel like so many of my dreams are just, like, coming to fruition after just, like, a really dark, tough time, and I think I had, always had hope, but I didn't have, like, that much energy behind that hope, if that makes any sense. Like, now I have hope with, like, a twinkle in my eye, you know? Anyway, I'm entering, like, the next chapter of my life, and I just felt like with that needed to come a little refresh of the podcast and a couple little housekeeping things that are changing. First, obviously, our set is beautiful and stunning and perfect. Like, this thing is just, like, wow. This is just perfect. So if you guys are not watching, let me give you a visual. Beautiful green striped wallpaper. Love this, okay? We have some new floral print chairs. Love this. Something I don't love is that these chairs are from Anthropologie and they don't have matching curtains. Now, I need matching curtains. If you are Anthropologie, listening to this, and you have fabric in any factory that you can let me buy off of you to then make matching curtains for my studio room, I would appreciate that so much because as beautiful as these great, you know, cream ones are in the background, they're not matching in the way that I would like it to. Like, I need a pattern drench, if you will. I have this really fancy, fabulous lamp. We have some new cocktail tables. I have my book stack next to me. New mag flags. Like, the room I just feel like is very representative of where I am in this next chapter. The mission behind the show, and really, truly everything I do, is just to bring people together and give girls, like, peace and confidence or help them find it for themselves. You can't, like, give that to someone. But to help them find, like, peace and confidence through either community and or hobbies, which are really kind of one and the same. The show is definitely through, like, conversations and relationships. And for a friend of mine, my home and hobby brand, that's definitely through hobbies, which inherently bring people together. At the core of everything, just, like, the mission is to help women find peace and confidence and, like, find, and just bring people together. Like, that's what I've always cared about my entire life. Like, that is the one through line I've always had is to bring people together. And I just feel like everything is kind of, like, coming together. This is a really good time. Friend of mine is, like, really taking off this year, which I'm so grateful for, and house guests, like, entering this new era. I have a lot of things that I want to do, and we will get to those goals. And, like, we will be getting Martha Stewart on the podcast. We will be getting Ina Garten on the podcast. We will be getting Kelly Bishop on the podcast. We will be getting, also, I need people who are over the age of 75. If you have someone that would, like, make sense for the show that is over the age of 75, please send them my way. I want this to be, like, a retirement home, honestly. And I really think that, like, I'm doing y'all a disservice if we're not getting women who are, like, have 50 more years of life experience on us. Like, I want wisdom from them, men and women. Like, I'm open. I just, we need it, like, desperately, you know? So I'm working on that. Oh, I should mention, before we really get more into it, okay, friend of mine. We are on our Summer Stitch Tour, and we are coming to Nashville this weekend. So 7-11, July 11th, doors open at 10 a.m. We'll be serving drinks, I believe, starting around 8.30. There's been a line at our last one. Oh, we also need to talk about that before I get any further. We just had our Dallas, like, kickoff to our Summer Stitch Tour. If you guys are unfamiliar, friend of mine is my home and hobby brand. I feel like I've said that a billion times already, but we are doing a Summer Stitch Tour of pop-ups at different, like, L&S's, which is just a local needlepoint shop. We're selling exclusive canvases. We're doing exclusive products per city. And then we're also just doing a lot of our, like, non-needlepoint-related products. So if you are not a stitcher and you still want to come, like, please come. There are still things for you. So we kicked off our Summer Stitch Tour in Dallas this weekend at Mimi's, and it was just, like, the most insane experience of my life. If you were there, thank you so much. Oh my God, we had people. The doors were opening at 10 a.m. People were lining up at 5 a.m. Everyone had their chairs out. They were, like, needlepointing together. They'd come and didn't know anyone, and they left with all these friends. There was over 500 people who came. When the doors were finally opening, we had people wrapped around the entire building. It was absolutely insane. It was just such a surreal day and so, so cool. So if you guys are in Nashville, Chicago, Nantucket, or Connecticut at all, all the information is on our site under stitchtourshopfriendandmine.com. But it was just so amazing, and to, like, see that and have all that coming together was just so cool. And I feel like it's made, like, my mission, like, so much more, like, obvious to me, which I feel like it's become a lot more obvious in my later 20s, even though it's not even super far from, like, how I started on the internet, if we're really taking it back. I started on YouTube when I was 15, turning 16 years old, and I'm turning 29 this summer. I've had this podcast since, I want to say, like, 2018. I've never missed a week, as we know. And it's just been really cool to, like, grow up on the internet, but I think one of the cons is, like, you're kind of just, like, doing things and you don't really know yourself, even though you think you do at certain ages. And I've evolved, and I feel really grateful that you guys have let me do that, and I'm sure a lot of people have left, a lot of people have found me throughout the years. But I just, like, what I care about in life is, like, having a good life. Like, I want to feel good, I want to do things that I love, I want it to be full of things that I love. I love the home, I love hobbies, I love needlepointing, I love gardening, I love reading, like, I love all of those things. And it's been really fun to do things that are bringing people together around that, because I never want the point of this platform or anything that I do to, like, be about me. Like, obviously, a lot of the platform is myself sharing things. It's why I like to bring guests on, too, because I like to hear and learn from other people in my own life, not even just on the show. But I just think it's been really cool to be able to, like, share a lot of the things that have helped me either in grief or in just, like, my day-to-day, or in my 20s when I was, like, or my earlier 20s when I was, like, I don't know what I'm doing, and, like, just day-to-day things that help me with, like, my nervous system and just feeling good and feeling happy and getting inspired and just, like, living and creating the life that I wanted to live. I don't ever want this to be, like, this is what you have to do and blah, blah, blah. And I do feel like I can come across that way sometimes. And I'm like, because I feel very passionately about these things, but the only reason that I'm even sharing them is because I was not in this place and I did these things. You know what I mean? Like, I'm not just saying it from, like, I know everything and whatever. Like, I actually know quite literally nothing. That's why I figured that out, because I had to figure something out. And obviously, at the end of the day, like, what works for me is not going to work for everyone. But I do think that I have taken a lot of wisdom and advice that I've gotten from people who are older than me and channeled it into my own life. And it turns out they're right. You know what I mean? So anyways, these are just the things that I'm passionate about. I'm very, very, very lucky and so grateful that I have a career that allows me to really center it around the things that I am grateful for and that I love and that are just, like, the best things ever. And I want to continue that on with the show. I think we should probably get into a little bit of housekeeping. Number one. One thing about the show that I wasn't loving is that I felt very disconnected from y'all because we would batch, and sometimes episodes would go live two or three months later. I want to bring it back to where we have guests, but every single intro, like, is a real, like, closer to real-time intro where I'm sitting down, we're talking. I still feel like I'm connecting with you guys, like, one-on-one, or maybe I have a friend on, or maybe Charlie's on, or maybe Dolly's on, the chicken, you know? But I want to have that time with you guys in every episode, and then at the end of every episode, we are gonna do a segment called Asking for a Friend where I take advice questions from y'all, in preferably the craziest scenarios ever. Like, a lot of the ones that I've gotten recently are sweet for, like, upcoming episodes, but I need, like, the most insane, like, crazy in-law story you've ever had, crazy, like, landlord story, those are good. Like, I need crazy things. And I will either give you advice or we'll be asking for a friend for advice, which will be y'all, and we can help them in the comments on our Instagram or something. But anyway, we're doing that, so it feels like every single week, y'all really are coming over, and then we're doing the guest episode. I just personally felt a little bit disconnected, and I'm excited, it's such a small thing, but I'm excited to be able to do that every single week because I just feel more, like, present with you guys, and whenever I was recording, and then it would go up two months, three months later, I was like, I just don't feel as connected, and, like, that really affects me and, like, the show. So hope you guys like that. Number two, the newsletter is back. Okay, one house guest newsletter every Monday, and then one Thursday, like, podcast drop. What we're gonna be doing with the house guest newsletter is how it was before, but it's just updated, and better, and amazing, perfecting, and beautiful, and great, it's gonna be what I'm reading, what I'm learning, what I'm listening to, products that I'm loving, always the discount codes from the show, basically anything you would need. It's a very quick, easy read, quotes that I'm loving, something that I've learned, like, all of that stuff. If you guys are a house guest listener, you will like this newsletter. Also, if you were, like, an early OG when it was I Love You So Much podcast, it's kind of like the old, like, series that we would do on the podcast, and it's just a way for me to write a little bit, and I think you guys are really gonna like it, and then on the Thursday drop, what is great about that is, one, it's just a reminder that the podcast episode is out, and two, we are gonna be linking every single thing that you could possibly see ever in the episode from the general, like, ads, so if you guys are like, wait, what was that discount code that's always in the newsletter? We are also going to be linking anything that is referenced in the show, anything that you are seeing visually, what we're wearing, what's in the show. We can even link cameras, like, whatever you guys need linked, we will have in that episode drop email, so you guys will be getting value from all of it because anything that is referenced, anything that is talked about, any download thing that you guys could possibly need, it'll all be in that email. Number three, we are bringing Book Club back, finally, for good, period. It's not leaving, we are done, and I figured out the format. We've done Houseguest Book Club in the past, and I kind of took a hiatus because it's really, when I was doing it before, it was just hard to make it work with different guests and stuff. What we are doing now that I think is just perfect is we are going to be reading with the author every six weeks, so every six weeks, you and I are reading a book together, and then I will do an entire podcast episode with that author about the book, maybe a little bit about them. For example, our first book, which, guys, really shooting for the stars because our first Book Club book is Five Star Weekend by Ellen Hildebrandt, all right? And what a star. I love Ellen. I've met her on Nantucket. She's actually the entire reason we started going to Nantucket, and I wanted to have her on the show forever. I want to ask her about Five Star Weekend because I love the book anyway. Also, the series is coming out. She's such an interesting woman. She's also very successful, but I want to talk to her also about becoming a writer and her experiences. When I've listened to her podcast, I actually think she's just a wealth of knowledge and wisdom, and I have so many things that I want to talk to her about. So if you're not a reader, you're still going to like the podcast episodes. I listen to podcast episodes on books all the time with authors, having not even read their books, but just because I think that they're very interesting people, and obviously it makes sense they're writers, but they're very introspective. They just have a lot of wisdom, and I've always loved those, so we will be reading alongside with them, and you guys are going to die also at the next one that we have lined up. It's actually insane. I'm kind of pulling crazy guests for book club, I will be honest, and I really, oh, I started in my own personal reading life. I started yesteryear, and we need to get that author on. I started it this week, and I didn't think I was going to like it because it's a book about influencers. I mean, it's not a book about influencers, but like a trodwife influencer. I didn't think I was going to like it because that's just not my vibe normally, and absolutely loving it. Oh my God. Dream would be like Chris and Hannah as well. I just finished Four Winds this week. I loved it. The Women is my favorite book of all time. There's nothing better than The Women, and yeah, I'm really excited about that, so if you guys have book club recs or book club requests that we could do for whatever you guys want for book club, obviously, if you have book requests for book club, please let me know, but I want to get all the authors. We're traveling, like we're flying out to record with every single one of them. The best summer pieces are the ones you end up wearing on repeat. Comfortable, versatile, and somehow right for almost every occasion. That is why I love Quince. They make elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton, and washable silk without the traditional retail markup. The washable silk alone is so helpful. I never know like what to do with it, and that just makes it so nice. What is really so amazing about Quince is that everything is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen, so you're paying for exceptional quality, but not the brand markup. Quince is 100% European linen pants, my favorite, by the way. The dresses and tops are the pieces you'll reach for all summer long. They're lightweight, effortless in style, and they start at just $32. Their denim is soft and comfortable, and their organic cotton sweaters are perfect for layering when evenings cool down. Quince's beautiful 14-karat gold jewelry adds a subtle finishing touch. Simple hoops or delicate chains make even the most effortless outfit feel intentional. And it's not just apparel. They also offer elevated essentials for your home, from bedding to bath to kitchen essentials and furniture. Make your summer wardrobe feel easier. Go to quince.com slash houseguest for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns. Now available in Canada too, that is quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E, .com slash houseguest for free shipping and 365-day returns. quince.com slash houseguest. Houseguest is on the go. Like, we are on the move, we are on the go, and I'm excited about that. Of course, we are finally on Spotify and Apple Video, so you guys can watch video on all those platforms. Thank God, because look at this video. Why would you want to miss this? It's like so much better than listening to the audio. Last thing I wanted to note, guys, I have finally made an updated houseguest must-read list. These are my top 20 books that I think will mean something to y'all. If you guys like this podcast, I think you need to read, and they will not only get you out of a book slump, but they will give you the wind beneath your sails, the whole thing. Everything that you need, this will give you. Five exclusively five-star reads if you guys are trying to get out of a book slump, if you're trying to find a good summer reading list, let me know. I'm also really happy to do summer reading lists, fall reading lists, TBR, books that are coming out. I would love to do things like that. I've been a lifelong reader. I'm very passionate about reading, and I really just want to make sure that's still very much so incorporated in everything. Okay, so I think that's mainly good for housekeeping. I hope you guys like the new cover, the new look, the new everything. The sky's the limit. I'm dreaming so big for this show, and I'm excited. We're gonna get back to that in a little bit, but I do want to talk about how to find confidence and peace in your life, and basically how to change your entire life in a year. This is my favorite thing to talk about. I've talked about it a billion times, but I just felt like there was nothing better to talk about in our first episode with our new vibe and our new look than how to change your life in a year. I was very vulnerable and very, very publicly online. For context, if you guys are new here, we lost my little brother January of 2024, so needless to say, the following years have been hell, and it's just been very, very awful and hard, and I have dealt with grief in my immediate family. I've dealt with loss. I've dealt with, we have mental health running rampant in my family. You just never judge a book by its cover. I've gone through a lot. There's been a lot of really severe tragedies and things that have happened in my life, but this was the, I mean, probably the worst thing that could have happened, and it just devastated me. I'm very proud of myself for how I've handled it. I'm very proud of myself for how I've been able to just get up every day. I know that my brother would want me to be doing exactly what I'm doing. I know if I were to call it quits and just be miserable for the rest of my life, he would kill me if he could. That was also something of my way of honoring him is really still living my life and going after everything that I wanna do and living very large, and obviously nothing matters to me more than the people in my life, all of those things, but I just had gotten to, a little over a year ago, I had just gotten to such a low, low place, and I was honestly scared for myself. This is just, it was really, really dark, and it was really, really bad, and I just kept saying my entire life is gonna look completely different a year from now. I don't know what that is. I don't know what I'm gonna do to do that. I don't know how I'm gonna do this with my entire life. It's going to be completely different this time next year. I don't know what that means, but it's going to happen, and what I did was, I mean, honestly, a lot of things. I wrote down some notes to share with you guys. I'm probably gonna kind of go all over the place. You don't need to be at rock bottom for this, but if you're like, look, I just need a little refresh. I need a little 3M mood boarding moment. I need whatever it is, or I just need to hear from someone that it can get better, this is for you. I also want to talk a lot about, too, finding peace and confidence in your life before we even get into that, okay? Because for me, a lot of peace truly does come from faith and having some sort of understanding that there's something bigger out there for me. Specifically in grief, it's been really important, but as far as just finding true confidence, my favorite quote, the most quoted quote in the history of Houseguest Podcast, the only one that I don't butcher, by the way, guys, is confidence is built by making promises to yourself and keeping them. I have basically built my entire life off of that quote, and I think when I was younger, I naturally had a lot of confidence because I had a dad who really instilled it in me, but more than that, I had a dad who really instilled routine into me, and so I was very routine. I was very disciplined, and I think that a lot of my confidence, and now looking back, was because I consistently made promises to myself and kept them. I would say, I'm gonna go work out, I'm gonna go do this, and there wasn't a single thing that I would say that I was going to do that I didn't do. I was very regimented, and I think that just having those small things where you're showing up for yourself every single day when you're making those small little promises to yourself and keeping them, that built a lot of confidence in me as a kid. I also think I had a very healthy relationship with my dad who thought I could do anything, so I think that that helped. Of course, it's a combination, but I think in general, when it comes to building confidence, you have to make promises to yourself and keep them. I don't think the only way to do this is through routine. I don't think the only way to do this is through discipline. I actually found, not even intentionally, like very unintentionally, that a lot of my confidence weirdly came from hobbies or learning new skills, which kind of makes sense because you hear that, and you're like, oh, that's good. You can show yourself that you're competent, but really what you're doing when you're learning a new hobby is one, show it, because you're building a relationship with yourself. When you're doing something new, and also you're showing yourself that you matter. Like the way that I give this example with routines is like, okay, so if you're trying to build confidence, if you are building confidence with a person, you, if they say they're going to show up at seven over time and they are always late or there are no showing and they're flaking, you don't have confidence in that person, right? Because they're doing that. So we cannot treat ourselves the same way. We cannot book, this is just an example, but like a 7 a.m. workout class and cancel it every single day or be late or be flaky because then we're showing ourselves, one, that we can't trust ourselves and two, that we don't find ourselves worth it enough to show up for. You know what I mean? Because that would be like for a friend, if you're not showing up, it's like, oh, I'm not finding that like worth it enough to show up for if that makes any sense. So when it comes to hobbies, you're doing this in a lot of different ways, but I think it's really important, especially as a woman to be able to spend time alone. I think this is the most important thing specifically in your twenties, like when you are single, especially, because you are also a lot less likely to settle. Whenever I was settling and dating and I was dating some great guys, I was dating some not so great guys, I was not so great in some things, like whatever, it was kind of all over the cross the board. When I was doing that and I found myself settling and I was like, what is happening? There was a moment where finally I was like, I'd look in the mirror and I'm like, look, even like they can do X, Y, and Z to me all they want, but at the end of the day, I am the common denominator and I, whatever I'm doing is clearly not working and I just need a second. I need a second to like build my life up and figure out what I want to do. I was very lost. I probably shouldn't have been dating at that point anyway. I needed to figure it out, whatever. So I decided I was going to stop dating and I was going to build the life that I really wanted to live. Now, this ended up giving me confidence because one, I showed myself I could build a life that I wanted to live and made a promise to myself and kept it, and two, I ended up falling in love with spending time alone. So I wasn't settling in any other area of my life because I didn't need to. I had the best weapon in the world ever because I didn't need to go out and do anything to like fulfill me. I was happy spending time alone. Like I didn't need to go settle in dating or like go fill my time with all these people that I didn't love, that didn't make me feel amazing, that didn't make me, didn't really take me like where I wanted to go or maybe I wasn't great for them or whatever it was. I was able to then build the life that I want, have all these things, like hobbies and things that I like to do and spend time alone because I was my own best friend. So I wasn't settling. That is the secret to settling. I think at least for me, this is where I am. Like this is the thing, but it at least was a secret for me. So I ended up building this life that I loved. I've been in and out of therapy since I was in the fifth grade. Whenever I moved to Los Angeles, whenever I went to college, I had the hardest time finding a therapist. I actually just stopped going. That was the one time in my life I really took a long break because I was having the hardest time, one, finding a therapist that took my insurance, but two, just finding someone that I could afford. It's really hard to find mental health care. It's very, at times it can be like pretty expensive. Sometimes it's really inaccessible and it really shouldn't be out of reach, which is why I'm so passionate about RULA. Finding a therapist is hard enough, but finding one who actually takes your insurance, that is where most online therapy platforms fall short. Many don't work with insurance at all, which means that you are stuck paying the full cost out of pocket or paying for an expensive monthly subscription. RULA does things differently. They partner with over 100 insurance plans, making the average co-pay just $15 per session. That is real therapy from licensed professionals at a price that actually makes sense. Think about it. You use your insurance benefits to maintain your physical health, so why would you not do the same for your mental health? And RULA isn't just affordable, the experience is tailored around you. Other online therapy platforms might match you with the first available provider, whether or not they're the right fit. RULA considers your goals, preferences, and background to provide you a curated list of licensed and networked therapists who are actually aligned with what you need because they know that finding the right therapist can make all the difference. No wait lists, no frustrating back and forth, RULA makes it easy to find a mental health care provider who is accepting new patients and appointments are available as soon as tomorrow. Plus, RULA sticks with you throughout your journey, checking in to make sure your care is helping you move forward. Go to RULA.com slash houseguest to get started today. That is RULA, R-U-L-A.com slash houseguest for quality therapy that's covered by insurance. And I did that through another concept I always talk about, identity capital. You never find yourself because you don't exist, right? Like your future self doesn't exist. You have full control to create yourself in the life that you want to live. So with identity capital as a concept, it's the idea that you are just made up of all the things you love, the people that you love, the interests that you have, the hobbies that you have, all of those things. And when I was reading that, I realized like, I don't even have hobbies. Like, yeah, I read, but I didn't have like anything else. And so I started like slowly, this has been a process of like seven years. I had always wanted to go horseback riding. So I was like, you know what I'm going to do? I'm going to take the initiative. I'm going to find a ranch. I'm going to go start riding horses. And I did. I had started cooking at this point because it was like COVID and stuff. I was cooking anywhere, had been living alone since I was 17, but I was like, I really want to start hosting dinner parties like regularly. I love cooking, but I want to get better at it. And I really want to host dinner parties. That was something that had been on a vision board for me for a couple of years and I hadn't gotten to it. So I was like, I'm going to ride horses and then I'm going to host dinner parties. Over time that has evolved into different things. Cause then I was like, you know what? I'd really like to start gardening with my grandma. That's another amazing thing is that I was able to, this is a common theme in my life is that I really, really want always, I know I've already said this, to surround myself with people who know more than me, people that I can get wisdom from. I mean, just people who are older, especially my grandma who I just love spending time with, but we started doing that together. And then let's see, I guess probably the next one would be needlepoint. She wanted to do needlepointing classes for her birthday. So I got us some classes. This was probably five, six years ago. We did the classes together. I got hooked and look at us now. I'm a needlepoint business woman, you know? But it's true. It's my favorite thing ever. And truly like if I could attribute anything of surviving grief in the initial loss, it was needlepoint. I would literally sit in bed and needlepoint for like 11 hours. And it is the only thing that gave me peace. A lot of that was gardening as well. We would go and gardening specifically just gives you a peace that you never have. But these don't have to be your thing. Like you can be into literally anything. It doesn't matter what it is. It can be styling clothes. It can like literally could be anything, but you just need to find something that you like to do alone. And that can bring you into community with people. I say this all the time, but in my big fat Greek wedding, I am the dad with Windex, but like it's hobbies. Like I think hobbies cure all, okay? But the point of that is that when you're wanting to change your entire life in a year and you're wanting to create this dream life that you have, and you're wanting to just at the bare minimum, let's say you're just wanting to like have a little bit more pep in your step to get out of bed in the morning, okay? We are going to do these things like very, very slowly over time. I'm kind of sharing that process. I know I'm like a broken record when it comes to hobbies and all this stuff, but I'm sharing that process, one, for anyone who's new and two, just like as a reminder and to show that it took like years and years and years. Okay, so that was a lot of specifically like finding confidence and peace in my life was I just needed to like myself and like spending time alone. Like that was so, so, so, so crucial. And it sounds obvious, but a lot of the time it's like, okay, it sounds obvious, but like how do I do that? And that is how I did it. Like I spent a lot of time alone. I became my own best friend. I started treating myself how I would a friend. I started finding activities and hobbies and things like that that I could do by myself. Then because I wanted to make new friends, it was amazing because a lot of these hobbies, I've been able to meet people, whether it's at the garden store and garden classes or the needlepoint store and needlepoint classes or cooking classes or whatever it is, hosting dinner parties. I'm always finding, I get questions all the time, like how to find people who want to do that. You've got to do it. And then you'll attract the people. And then over time as you're doing it, you'll meet other people. It's like friends like, oh my God, my friend, you guys would love each other. Like you're only going to find the people and attract the people that you want in your life. If you are living the life that attracts those people. You know what I mean? Like, I don't think, I think Charlie and I weirdly would have like matched in a lot of different times of our lives. Like we went through similar life phases at similar times, but we met at the perfect time. And also like I was so sure of myself at that point that it just, it was, it's nothing but beneficial for the relationship. You know what I mean? Okay, anyway, when it comes to changing your entire life in a year, step one, now this sounds obvious, but I need you guys to listen to me. And I'm also going to be a little bit big sister, a little harsh, a little direct, okay? And listen, I love you guys. I'm saying this how I would someone that I love in my real life, because I do love you guys in my real life. And you guys, sometimes you just need to hear it. And I needed to hear this at different points in my life. Okay? So with the being open and taking action thing, I'm going to give you guys a couple examples. Number one, my dating challenge. I was the world's most negative person when it came to dating. I thought all of it sucked. I thought I would never meet someone. For some reason, I thought there would never be someone that I would like. Like I just had a really, really negative perspective on it. And I decided I, after, you know, six years of being alone and like loving my life, I think I loved it a little too much. And I was finally like, okay, I do want to find someone. So I probably should start putting myself out there to date. I did not think I was going to meet my future husband when I did this, but I did this dating challenge. I made myself go on, long story short, 10 days and 30 days. I've talked about this so many times on the show. So if you guys want, go listen to the episode where I talk about that. But I made myself do the dating challenge. I was like, I'm going on 10 dates in 30 days. That is something that I want to change in my life. I could look at that and identify, like I would like to meet someone in the next couple of years was kind of my timeframe. So I did that 10 dates and 30 days dating challenge. And that was great. And I met my husband. I'm now engaged. So it's actually like really crazy. Next up, this is a friend of mine, actually, a friend of mine, one of my really good friends who is doing this currently. Her name is Presley. And I want her to come on the show to talk about this. Her Instagram, her TikTok actually, her Instagram is pres.styles. I'm pretty positive that, let me make sure. I think her TikTok is presleyfarah. I am an OG Olive and June fan. I have like gone into the actual salon. I love Olive and June. What's really cool is that they have these mini systems. So you don't even need to go into any salon. You can do all of it at home. I love the gel system. I am a gel nail girl. Their gel manicure system comes with everything you need for salon quality nails in one box. A five finger LED lamp, salon grade tools, and their gel polish that lasts up to 21 days. It's clean, safe, and designed for real life, busy mornings, Netflix nights, all of it. Each mani breaks down to just a couple of dollars, which means you can have that confident, polished up feeling whenever you want, no appointment needed. I'm actually getting into the nail salon. It's just like another to-do. It's another thing to add to your errands. It's not the most fun experience ever. So I think that this is amazing. I also really love the Olive and June press-ons. They look so real. They last so long. They have so many different sizes, so you can always find the perfect fit. They don't damage your nails. You can get like a really great manicure in 10 minutes. My family's super into press-ons. My niece is obsessed with them, so I always have these at my house. And we've gone through, we've used every single brand, and Olive and June is by far the best. They are better than gel. Allure Best of Beauty winners as well. It's only $10 a set. It's so easy to remove. And you can change them as much as you want, which is just so convenient. They also have the Olive and June quick dry, which is amazing. It dries in about a minute. It lasts for like five plus days. And it's full coverage in just one to two coats. It's amazing. It's also offered in 40 plus cruelty-free and vegan polishes. Visit oliveandjune.com slash houseguest for 20% off your first system. That is Olive and June, O-L-I-V-E-A-N-D-J-U-N-E .com slash houseguest, H-O-U-S-E-G-U-E-S-T for 20% off your first system. Yes, it is, Pressy Farrah. She is doing this gap year, and she's explaining this and doing a full series. So if you guys are listening to this, go follow her on TikTok and say that you came from houseguest. But she has been telling us for the past couple of years, she wants to make a change. She's never really moved outside of Dallas. She has wanted to try a bunch of all this different stuff, and she's been talking about it for years, and it hasn't actually made the change. Eventually, she said in a TikTok she just posted that three years have passed, and she's like, I haven't made any change that I've wanted to do. And now I'm approaching 30, and I'm like, okay, I've got to do it. I really want to do it. So she ended up signing up for this course. Come to find out, it's Vogue Summer School, which is insane. She's just the most low-key person ever. She's like, yeah, I'm just doing a course. And I find out on TikTok, as her TikTok manager, that it's a Vogue school, which is insane. But that's just her first life. Anyway, she's also the coolest girl, best style, greatest friend, love her. But she was like, no, I'm going to go do this. So she quits her job. She finds this program. These are not easy things to do. Of course, this is one that would involve finances, so I understand that this is not everyone's situation, but I'm just giving an example. And she quits her job, and she goes to London for six weeks, and it's like, that's a scary thing to do. You're doing it by yourself. She's 28. She's leaving all of her friends and all of her family behind. She's very close to her friends and her family, and she's out doing that. And I know it's like, oh, well, that's, a lot of people, it's like, yeah, that'd be so fun. I would love to do that. But actually doing it and putting yourself out there and getting yourself there and changing your life and quitting your job and doing all those things takes a lot of courage. But again, you have to be open and take action. If you don't have that mindset where you're open, that vacation mindset almost, which I talk about very, very briefly, but basically just being ready for everything, open, talking to everyone, and taking action, nothing's going to change. Nothing changes if nothing changes, okay? You really have to be the change that you wish to see in your world. That's what I was saying about if you're trying to find the right people and the right friends, you have to be the right person and the right friend to attract those friends, right? The next thing I wrote down is become the person that you want to be. You can be someone that you can be proud of, and resilience will build this. You know, I actually wasn't going to talk about this, but I do think that this is very real, and this is actually a very helpful thing. I have briefly touched on this very vaguely, but whenever my brother passed away, I also had a friendship fallout with one of my best, best, best friends. People don't know how to be there for you in grief, and it was handled very poorly, and it was the most devastating breakup situation that I've ever had. I never understood people who were like, friendship breakups are worse than relationship breakups, because I think I had never had a friendship breakup. I never had something like that, and it was just so, so painful for me, and I hated how I felt about the situation. I didn't feel like I had much control, because I wasn't, like, I don't know. I don't want to get into it, but I really didn't have much control, and I was just, like, absolutely devastated. I was obviously in, like, the worst place in my life. I was so just sad, and I was also sad to have lost, like, one of my best friends, and I was just really angry. Like, I was very angry, and rightfully so in a lot of ways. I was very mad at this point, and I think eventually it was just so painful that I had to just, like, stop thinking about it. It wasn't anything that anyone ever brought up to me. I am not someone who, like, I don't like to hold onto any, like, hate or negativity towards anyone in my life. I'm, like, my mom is very, like, everyone has their own journey. Like, you never know what they're going through. Let them be. They're not your, like, that's just kind of, like, how I was raised. So I don't like holding onto any of that. I also just had so many other things going on. It was just, like, a really bad situation, and recently this person reached out, and, like, literally couldn't have handled it better. Like, also this person, I want to say, is a really good person, and is an amazing friend, and, like, people make mistakes and people mess up, and, like, that was why I think it was so hard, because I was, like, this is so crazy and so out of character, and, like, whatever, we were in, like, really hard times, and whatever, and I don't think I even realized, like, how much it was still affecting me until the next day, and how much I actually did miss this friendship. I think I thought I didn't miss it because it was so painful for me that I just, like, had moved on and, like, not thought about it, and I needed to, like, stay away from it as much as possible in my life. So this person reaches out, apologizes. Long story short, very long story short, and, like, I just couldn't be more impressed by her, how she handled it in the entire situation, and, like, and I just think for both of us, on both of our ends, it's, like, we're truly grown up and adults, and it was just so cool. Like, she couldn't have been, she couldn't have handled it better. Like, that's why anyone who's asked me about it, because everyone, she was so involved in my life, and everyone loved her, and, like, my family is, like, so happy, and they were, like, what happened? I'm, like, truly, I couldn't have asked for anything better. Like, it was just so great. Like, truly so amazing, and I think that, like, that is the kind of person that I want to be, and I don't want to be someone who hates people, and, like, cuts them off, and does that. Not that that isn't what happened in that situation at all, but, like, in general, I want to be someone who is accepting of an apology. I want to be someone who is accepting of forgiveness. I want to be someone who allows other people to, like, not be who they were a year ago. You know what I'm saying? But I just think for both of us, it was really cool to see, like, how we have grown up in really tough moments. Calling all serial hobbyists, hosts, homebodies, readers, if any of these things apply to you, this is for you. If y'all don't know, I'm the founder of Friend of Mine, a home and hobby brand. I am on a mission to bring people together through the home and hobbies. We have recipe journals to keep your favorite recipes all in one place to have and pass down one day, conversation cards for your next dinner party or bachelorette, nightcap cards for your next date night. We even have family cards for your next family dinner. Then, of course, we have our needle clip products that you guys can add to your stash, gardening accessories when you need some extra peace, and the cutest Kindle cases that you have ever seen. Also, we do have the best overalls in the world, and as an overall connoisseur myself, I can say that with confidence. If you like the show, y'all are gonna love Friend of Mine. Go to shopfriendofmine.com and use code houseguest for 15% off your first purchase and try it out for yourself. I recommend going for either the overalls, dinner cards, or a new canvas. Little hint, if anything is out of stock, always sign up for the restock list. We are now entering the wedding planning phase. The wedding planning era, if you will. By we, I mean you and I, because I'll be taking you guys along in the process, and oh my God, are flowers expensive. I cannot believe it. That's why I'm really excited to share with y'all, in case you guys are getting married, or maybe you're doing an event, or whatever it is, Something Borrowed Blooms, okay? Something Borrowed Blooms is a floral rental service that delivers premium silk wedding flowers straight to your doorstep. These look amazing, okay? They are premium silk flowers, and they are beautiful, okay? Couples who choose Something Borrowed Blooms save over 70% compared to the cost of traditional flushed florist. They've been a part of over 50,000 weddings and events, and their prearranged florals offer a budget-friendly, sustainable, and stress-free alternative to fresh flowers. And once you see those quotes, it's like, oh my God, I will do anything for affordable or budget-friendly when it still looks beautiful. So you guys can visit somethingborrowedblooms.com and use code houseguest at checkout for $100 off of $500 plus. That is somethingborrowedblooms, B-L-O-O-M-S.com, and use code houseguest for $100 off when you spend over $500. If you have been waiting for the right time to tackle your weight loss goals, this is it. Hers now offers access to an affordable range of FDA-approved DLP-1 medications, including the Wigobi pill and the Wigobi pen. Everything is 100% online through Hers. You'll connect with a licensed provider who will determine if treatment is right for you. If prescribed, your medication is delivered right to your door, no insurance necessary. And it doesn't stop there. Weight loss by Hers goes beyond medication by offering access to 24-7 messaging with your care team and tons of Annapolis-style nutrition tips like recipes, meal plans, fitness videos, sleep content, and more. Even better, with a range of affordable DLP-1 options, Hers makes it simple to find an approach that fits your needs and your budget if eligible. You'll get a treatment plan personalized to you and unlimited dosage changes as needed. It's weight loss designed to work with your life. Ready to reach your goals? Visit forehers.com slash houseguest to get personalized, affordable care that gets you. That's forehers, F-O-R-H-E-R-S dot com slash houseguest, forehers.com slash houseguest. Weight loss by Hers is not available in all 50 states. Wigobi is the registered trademark at Nordisk AS. To get started and learn more, including important safety information, Wigobi clinical study information and restrictions, visit forehers.com. I think also you can focus more on how you want to feel instead of what you want to achieve. And like, how do you want your life to feel? You know what I mean? Because it's not always about accolades. I also don't think you need to have a crazy vision of what you want in a five-year plan. This can be super overwhelming, especially if you're incredibly depressed. I didn't even have the energy to dream at this point. I didn't even have the energy to get out of bed. So I would do small things every single day. And those small things eventually became bigger things. I think just have a couple of things that you're wanting to change and make like small attempts to do things. You know what I mean? Like, oh, I want to make new friends in this area. So I'm going to start doing this and I'm going to start putting myself in these scenarios, you know? I think also how to find the right people. That is the key. You attract the right people by being the right person. You know what I mean? So like, if you want friends that do a dinner party, like start hosting dinner parties, invite people. Those people are probably not going to be like the people that you're inviting to dinner parties forever. Like maybe they're not dinner party people, but maybe they know people who are. Like, if you want to do, you want to meet people who like taekwondo, go to taekwondo classes, like doing things like that and putting yourself in uncomfortable positions. And as annoying as this sounds, it really is mindset. I'm going to give you again, tough big sister advice. You are never going to find something or someone if you think that all men are bad. That is not possible. It is not possible for all men to be bad. It is not possible for all of really anything except for like extremist groups to be one thing. Like there are always good men out there. I meet them all the time. I never thought all men were bad. I just thought I wasn't going to like anyone, like romantic. I was just like, I don't know. Like I haven't met someone. I thought that because I hadn't met someone that I really liked. I think looking back even at like anyone that I've dated and I'm like, now that I'm like so in love and with the right person, I'm like, I don't think I even ever liked them. I think maybe that was the issue. You know what I mean? You're never going to achieve your dreams if you think everyone else just has it handed to you. You're never going to make your dreams come true and make it a reality if you have 7,000 excuses. People always have different starting points and it's really hard and it sucks. But if you dwell too much on that, you are losing all the energy that you could be putting towards other things. I feel the same way with like Reddit snark people. Like imagine if the people who are on Reddit snark just use that energy to like do something good with their lives. Then they would maybe have something good with their lives. You know what I mean? You are never going to get anywhere because your energy is going to that. Like you have the power to make anything you want happen in your life and your mind is creating the world that you live in. So instead of focusing so much on the negativity and the can'ts and the whys and whatever, we all have that one friend that you're just like, I can't even listen to you talk about this life plan anymore because it's never going to happen and all you do is give excuses. All you do is, you know, X, Y, and Z. I cannot listen to this for like one more second. You are creating the world that you live in in your mind every single day. Now that, of course, there's grief. There are things like depression. There are things like that, of course. And there are always exterior things. But at the end of the day, like if you really want your life to be different, like you have to take control as hard as it is. Also like free tools, things that are like, honestly, I think basically free and are ways to make them free. You guys will see. And I think actually the most beneficial out of anything that I've done would be journaling, reading, and walking. Journaling, there's nothing better for my mental health than journaling. And to make me feel present and aware and to understand myself and my emotions, reading, you can learn anything that you want from a book. You can go to any world that you want from a book. It's so good for your brain health. It really truly does just change the day. Also just like paying attention to the content you're consuming. Maybe don't follow a bunch of people who make you feel bad about yourself. Like I think that you should use things as like inspiration instead of like hating them. You know what I mean? That's a story for another day. Walking, literally free. And nothing clears my head like that. Those are like really free, almost. You can go to a library though. Aspects that are very inexpensive aspects, close to free-ish if you go to a library, that you can do to, or like get a journal. You guys will see, inexpensive, okay? Things that you can do to really make a huge impact in your day-to-day. And I know it sounds stupid. It's literally me being like, drink water. But people say these things for a reason because they actually work. And I know it is annoying. I know it is annoying. But just listen to me, guys. Like I'm telling you as someone who is like finally come out on the other side, I'm telling you this stuff works. And we talk about it on Houseguest forever, okay? And we always will because it's important. I also think the whole, this is something that was cool because Charlie said this to me the other day. And like, I don't even know if he knew this was on my vision board, but the beginning of the year, I put build it and they will come on the vision board. And that was really the theme for me with a friend of mine this year. Little did I know that we would finally be taking off and I had no idea what any of this, anything was coming, right? But to see, he was like, yeah, build it and they'll come. And to see like where we're at and how I really have built it and they are coming. And I want to continue to do that. I think I've done that in like both my personal life now and specifically with a friend of mine. And I'm hoping to do that with Houseguest in a way better way, where I'm like building this comfort show that people are coming to and tuning in every week. And we're getting really amazing guests that are adding value to your life, that are giving you an escape, that are giving you wisdom, that are giving you just like a hope or something like that little like pep that you needed in your week. I also think a lot of this is like, this is a slow change. These things are not overnight. I spent years just like really pushing like one foot in front of the other of like, I am going to get there. I'm going to get there. It's going to get better. And it just took years and years and years. And like, even this morning, I had this full circle moment where I was journaling and I like to do this. I like to journal every morning. I've been so off my game, but I wanted to journal this morning before going into my first day of Houseguest recordings, just to make sure like my mind was clear and I was ready to go. And I just had like thoughts out for you guys. If I journal in the morning, I just am a better person, okay? And it was cool because the first thing I said, I was like writing a prayer and I was like, thank you for my life. And I'm like, it's so crazy. Like not in like the least ungrateful way ever, but I feel like when I would always say that in before when I was just in like the depths of grief, I was still so grateful for like everything else in my life, but I was just so depressed to like truly be in a place where I'm like, thank you for my life. Like, and just seeing the difference between like, I always say that in a prayer, but like how I feel now versus how I felt then is crazy. And there is hope. And there's always people, I also want to say that are going through way worse than I am at all times. Like that is a game that like none of us can play. Like everyone is going through something and like, I don't want to go through, you know, I'm lucky in other ways, but of course like I would give up the rest of my lifetime, my brother. So like, there's not a single thing, like I would be, I would give up anything, like a limb. I literally would give up a limb, like anything. Money doesn't even, like that's not even a thought in my mind. So anyways, future goals now that I have hope again. Okay guys, obviously my entire dream behind Friend of Mine and House Guests is to bring people together around like conversation and hobbies. I want to help women find peace and confidence through bringing people together through hobbies. I really want a book. I want, eventually I will do a memoir, eventually. That will be like more grief focused, but I really want like a coffee table book. And I have a very specific vision for it and I feel really good about it. And I am like in the very early phases of like working on this. And I have a vision. And if you're a publisher, by chance, you're listening to this, just like maybe, you know, think about that one. So if you guys want to support me in any way, in my book writing endeavors, it's really helpful if you guys sign up for the newsletter, like very, very helpful when it comes to book stuff. And I would really, really appreciate that. I really want to expand into new media spaces, whatever that is. I want to grow Friend of Mine, or I want to grow Friend of Mine so much. I also, I have so many like dream collaborations and stuff, but specifically with House Guests, since we're here right now, I want Ina Garten, I want Martha Stewart, I want Hayden Panettiere, I want Belle Burden, I want Bobby Brown. I want, I mean, there's so many people who are on my list of just dream guests. And I want this show to get to the caliber where we are getting guests like that. I mean, I want this to be like a Netflix show. Like I want this to be basically like taking it to the top, as big as it can get. And I'm working so much harder on it too. Like I just have so many goals, so much vision, so much hope, so many things that we're doing. And I'm just so excited about the future. And if you are in a place where you are not feeling that right now, or maybe you're just feeling a little lost or a little bit confused or a little bit like, oh, I don't know, like stagnant, or I don't know what to do. I really hope that you got something out of this episode. I know a lot of what I said are things of me repeating them, but I'm repeating them because one, we're entering a new era and we needed this little pep talk. And two, because this is so important. Like these are things that I'm very passionate about that have truly, truly changed my life and just made it 9 million times better. And I think that I would be doing you guys a disservice if I was just sitting here whenever I was going through. And I'm like, look, it's really dark. Like if I'm showing you the lows, I need to show you the highs. If I'm showing you the highs, I need to show you the lows, to some sort of like discretion. But I love you guys. I'm really excited about where we are going with house guests. I'm so excited about book club. Like guys, oh my God. And also if you guys have connects with our dream guests, like seriously, let's make it happen. But anyways, I love you guys. Oh, I need the Foster sisters on. I need Morgan Stewart on, my favorite podcasters ever. I'm obsessed with them. So anyway, I hope you guys enjoyed. I love you guys so much and I will talk to you soon. Bye.