RUDE English Gentleman Pushy Car Salesman ASMR

I'm sorry, do you need a map? Are you lost? You're not lost. So, why on earth are you wearing all that bicycle gear? You've come here to take a look around by car. You're not wearing your cycling gear. And let me guess, you've got a bicycle parked outside in the parking area you have. You're serious. Okay. Just let me do something. I'm not really accustomed to serving cyclists such as yourself in my establishment here. Now you know that here I sell cars, automobiles, you know, things with four wheels. Not two. The two of you like that haven't harmed my parking lot out there. Okay. So, just to confirm that. You... You don't want to buy a bicycle because you're looking for a car for a specific place. Well, that is extremely amusing. Do allow me to do one thing. I'll just... Just stay back from me. Great. Just maybe look at... Look at the camera. That's... That's just standard procedure we follow here with our customers. So that I can recognize the customers if they return. Of course. Just to say that. So that. Okay. So. You're actually here to buy one of the cars in that parking lot. Okay. Well, that's extremely bold of you—what you're wearing today. Still, in this place I strive to have the ability to serve everyone. Even if they don't quite meet my standards. Okay. Well. Before I take you out. If I take you out to the forecourt. In fact, I am dressed like that. I think we won't be viewing cars in person. Perhaps we'll save that for another day. I wouldn't want to scare off any of my customers. Now would I? As you can see, the customers around me. Outside. You probably saw a couple when you came in as well. A refined English gentleman. Yes. And pay this, of course. All dressed smartly and properly to buy their cars. And to spend a large amount of money. They usually show up in their car bus. You know. The nice kind of cars. And they might be slightly outdated. Due for a little upgrade. But you can always tell which ones they are. Those who have the money and are ready to spend. Those are my friends. You came in on a bicycle. Yes. And you might think you fit the role. But I assure you. That your bicycle does not. And it certainly doesn't inspire me with any confidence. Even selling you a car. In fact. I might be letting you do it. You might be wasting my time. But that's fine. I will do my best to serve you. Okay. So why don't I take a look down here. I have a collection of car magazines, leaflets, and brochures. And on these brochures, there are cars depicted. Cars that I think the customer might like. Now, I would usually take them around in person. And actually see the cars. But as I said. Dressed like that. I don't think I'll be taking you any further than this desk here. Then we'll manage together. So let me get a brochure of you first. Oh yes. This is something I think will suit you perfectly. Now I received this sent to you from a car company called Voxel. Now that should be more your caliber, perhaps. Well, it's a car. It has four wheels. I mean, that's quite an upgrade from your bicycle. Okay. You do have a driver's license. Why don't you show me your driver's license? Before we proceed with anything. Just to make sure. So if you just hand me that driver's license there. Thank you. I will get mine. That's right here. Just quickly. Copy down. There it is. Can you tell us now? Hello. Why haven't I. Why aren't I using the pen? Oh, I was using a pen. Here's your driver's license back. Well, I definitely have your details written down here now. No no no. Don't look. But they are definitely here. So I can get back in touch with you if you find anything you like. Then I will get back in touch with you. And assist you further in this process. Okay. I definitely have your details. Alright. So why don't we begin? By opening up. The brochure. Okay. Let's see what we have here. Now this. Here. What Vauxhall sells. They sent me this brochure. I'm not sure if I actually have any of these on my forecourt. They don't sell very well with the customers I have in this area. But I do believe I should be receiving some new brochures. For the mocha. As I understand it. A new model is already out. So. Why would they want to send me this one? Okay. Let me take you through some key points here. Okay. The mocha is well known. Primarily as a beverage. A formal coffee. That's what comes to mind for me. Are you familiar with mochas? You are. That is very special. Okay. So. Mocha is what it's called. There is a 4x4. And it's an SUV. I know you understand what an SUV is. Okay. Or at least you know something. Okay. Now let me just go through this. I won't bore you with all the details. I'll just tell you what I know. The engines go up to or from 1.2. The real 1.2. Which, if you want to go at a snail's pace. And want a larger car. Then I highly recommend the 1.2. If you want to get in people's way. Likely similar to what you do with your bicycle. Or something you are familiar with. Getting in people's way. Okay. Then get a good car. And then put a tiny engine in it. That way you won't go anywhere. Soon, anywhere. You are incredibly safe. And a snail's pace. But this comes in a variety of colors and trims. Now my personal favorite. It's the charcoal blue interior. Here. The problem with this. That's not that I don't think the Mokka. Features a leather interior. That is extremely disappointing. Many of my customers are looking for that. But still. It is a good car. Preferably get this diesel. Something that is more economical to drive. Version 1.7 is highly recommended. Engine size for a car of this size. So this is the Vauxhall Mokka. So if this is something you're interested in. Then why don't I just leave these brochures here. And you can take them with you. Provided that you are able to carry them back on your bicycle. Now I wouldn't be fulfilling my duty. As a careful and considerate car salesman. If I weren't thinking about your safety first. And I wouldn't want you taking these back. If you couldn't ride with both hands. Okay. Well, I should put that there. These are the terms and conditions. Details and items you might find inside the bag. That's enough. Okay. Wow. Great. I have something here. Which might pique your interest. Now this was also sent to me. Now all my brochures are here. So Volvo is one of those cars. Which many of my customers seem to be very keen on. Are you familiar with Volvo? Who are you? That's good. Well, for places like this. They offer some great cars. For touring the countryside. English countryside The nice roads. And prancing around in your Chevrolet. You know what I mean. Things you would like to do around here. Okay. Let's open this. And you can already tell. By the brochure. How it is presented is very important. This was not presented at all well. It was pushed out of the bag. Here we have a nicely presented booklet. Including all the essential elements we would want to see. With this Volvo. We'll just pick that up over there. That's that. We can examine the prices and specifications. Afterwards, we can discuss it with you. If you are interested. Something tells me that that's something. That you would be eager to examine. Okay. So. Here we have the Volvo V40. Now this Volvo V40. It's quite a new model. From Volvo. I think it first came out in 2012 or 2013. Since then, it has had various trims. And currently in 2007. They will be releasing a new model. For the V40 or new look. But the only thing that has truly changed. Are the lights in front? LED lights have a more rectangular appearance. That is it. The bag keeps the same shape. So. If that is something you wish. To buy. Maybe. Then it's worth waiting. But if the color of the front of the car. It's something you're interested in. Then this is a great car. So. We begin with the interiors. As you can tell from here. That we have a variety of interiors. In here. So we have the queen. Which obviously stands out quite a lot. And then we have the leather. Versions here. All slightly different. And contain slightly different patterns. Now the leather. Something that is more familiar. In these Volvos. And they certainly go well with the color. The alloy wheels. Wheels is something I am certain about. You are familiar with. Just like with your bicycle. I am suggesting it to you. I'm sure you have no idea about these. They are not like your petrol and gas bicycle wheels. These are standard road wheels. And these alloy wheels will fit perfectly. On all of the legs of these Volvos. And I think my personal favorite. From this selection. Would probably be. Either this black chrome type. Or this one here. I think this one is very smart. Five spokes. Really stands out. And will make your Volvo. Stand out from the rest. Of the standard types. So. Great design there. Reliable engines. The makers. Of this Volvo. They are very meticulous. And very modernized. They truly consider the consumers. And try to put that. Into their cars. And completely modernizing. Every new version they release. That's why I recommend Volvo. To many of the customers. Because they are reliable. As you can see here. Comes with intuitive safety. They just like Volvo cars. They are constantly upgrading. These kinds of things. Like this front airbag. Just in case you ever run over a pedestrian. I mean, it happens around here. People who don't like. They usually just press the gas a bit more. And knock them off. On the road. But what we do make sure. Is that we have. A front airbag. So really. No harm comes to them. You just sped up. Knock them and they bounce off. And they are happier. Off the road. That's really great. Feature they possess. On these Volvo cars. We love it. Yes. A lot of key information. For these Volvos. So do you think? That's something. That you are interested in. What if I just put that there? With your collection there. Okay. I should put this. Inside. Your. Volvo brochure here. And keep it there. For the time being. Now when I look at you. I don't see any cars. I just see you in it. Forgive me. I'm very straightforward. But I'm heading somewhere with this. But I like to make sure. I want all my customers to be happy. They get what they want. And then. They recommend. Me to your friends. Other people's acquaintances. And then you come back. And you repeat the process. I would very much like to offer that. Now I've never really had someone like you. Come in here before. But. I will. Show it to you. Some other cars. What we have here. Now this. I think it will be very much. At your price range. But. I have to. Right. Now. You want to have a car. Which is reliable? But it also has the looks. And turns heads. Then I believe that. BMW might be something. That could be interesting. But we will know. Those engines. If properly cared for. And driven well. They will last a very long time. Mileage may vary. Over. 150,000 And the car will still. Be working well. Now this. Is. A BMW was sent to me. Now this. Contains the 1 series on there. Also the second series. And the second series coupe. Now. This is a car that really. Does dazzle. As you can see. It has a really sporty look there. This coupe. That means there are going to be 3 doors. Here. As you can tell from the interior over there. Look at that. It contains everything you would want in a car. So you know. What you would want in a car. Obviously the steering wheel. Those C-shaped handlebars. That you have. And all the gadgets. That you would want. So this. It is highly up to date. With technology. So you can fit all your MP3 players in there. Etc. Now here we have. The BMW 1 Series. Now this is the new shape. You can tell that. Mainly from behind. We have the elongated. Back lights there. The rear lights. And before the make before that. It was slightly curved. Now if you're looking for something a bit smaller. A little bit. A little bit more in control. I suggest the BMW 1 Series. Is a car which. Could look. Very well then. To find yourself. Extreme comfort. Now. I've noticed. That you've been staring. At these keys. A lot indeed. Haven't you? Well, just to clarify. You're not planning to steal them, are you? These. Keys are right here. Maybe I should give you the keys. Maybe I'll give you the keys. To one of the cars up there. But if I do that. Then. I'm afraid I'll have to call the police. And. I'll take the top of it. So I'll just leave those there. But I'm keeping a close eye on you. You may say no. But. Okay. We have here. The second series. And this is the convertible. Now this is truly a smart-looking car. It's slightly smaller. Than the saloon type. BMW R8 Well known for But. If you wish to be out in the sun. And truly enjoy your time. Traveling. That convertible is a must. Though. Not English anymore. If you do struggle. With this. You could be driving along. For example. And then the heavens opened. And you're soaked through. And that is not what you want. That's why we drive cars. And not other bicycles. Of course. What we have here. A bunch of pictures. Of a mixture. Now this is. Including the escape versions. The convertible. We have the second series there. And the 1 Series. Also. So. You can expect a lot of good things. From the BMWs. Of course. It comes at a price. They are not cheap. But maybe. If you wait here long enough. And look sorry for yourself. One of our customers might take pity on you. And push to buy your car. Though I find that incredibly unlikely. But maybe. Maybe I'd like to do that for you. Of course. Maybe not at the same time. So. That is the BMW. The collection that I have shown you. I think the others. It might be a bit outside your price range. But if you are interested. Then. You're very welcome back. To take a look. Just to make sure. That you dress appropriately. Make sure we are closed. And make sure I can't see you. Okay. That is the BMW. The sections there. So. Just lock that into place. There. Close it like that. And get your booklet. I'll just open that. Slot. Put this in here. And now I have all your things. In place. So. What we have here. We have the Volvo. The V40. Down here I do have the V40. Across the country. Also, which might be interesting. But I don't think. That would suit you. I don't think that's your kind of car. What would the BMW. Stop. The VW Mokka. Could be something you might be interested in. But we have the version here. Now before. Showing interest in any of these. If you decide to view them. Of course, you can read. You must. Come back here. Because you've arrived soon enough. And I have spent a lot of time. Explaining these to you. You must come back here. And we'll get you out of the car. But then of course. If you are not interested in these. Then you don't need to. Come back. Do not. And I won't need to see you again. So. I put that there for you. So. Take that. And. Why don't you take a moment to think. On what we have said today. If you see it in the cars you like. Then make sure you get in touch with me. And I will actually take you. Around to have a look around the cars. As I said, just dress. Not in that biking outfit. And I think we will. Get something sorted for you. Okay. Well. Why don't you take this? Get your bicycle. And continue your journey. Where you are. I do hope you haven't come here. Just to take a little rest. And be able to perform a pit stop. Your bike. Of course I locked the toilet. Just in case you needed it. When you came in. I was thinking ahead. Now. Okay. You come back and buy the car. If not. Please take the bicycle. And. I might just head out to my car. Which way? Which way are you going? Okay. And how fast you ride. I really. I don't mind if I just. Just because I'm interested in it. And you're definitely going that way. Great. That's a lot of good points. We could meet around there. I like the feel of. A lab at the front of my car. That's great. Well. I might be seeing you very soon. Until then. Take these brochures. And take a look. Okay. I'll be seeing you very soon. Be careful.