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Xander shops all the top term insurance companies to save you money. Get started at xander.com. I've got a
Custody battle ahead of me. I've recently had to get a lawyer. Um
and i've been working the baby steps i'm engaged up to i've got my
My starter emergency fund a little more right now. I think i've got about 1300 in that
um
but
With with my debt and with this custody battle on the horizon
I'm, just really trying to look for the best way to navigate this
Um, obviously I don't have all the money for a lawyer which would put me further into debt. Um, which is not what we want
Um, otherwise i'm looking at either bankruptcy or selling my house
Okay, and what do you owe on your home?
I owe
193 000
And what's it worth a hundred dollars? It's uh work between 299 and 324. Okay
So you got somewhere around a hundred thousand dollars in equity and how much debt do you have?
um
I have roughly
60 000
Okay. All right
So simple math says if you sold the house and you paid off all your debt
You'd have 40 000 in a war chest to fight with and you'd be a renter
Yes
That's one quick solution without getting into too many details
But that's just balance sheet transfer stuff. Now, what's your uh, what's your income?
um, I grow up to about
4600 a month. How many children do you have?
I have three total and how old are they?
I have a 12 year old
Daughter a eight year old son
And then um the one that i'm going into custody battle for is my 20 month old daughter
Are you trying to get full custody or shared custody?
Um, probably full
Why?
Uh, so her her mother is uh disabled. Um, and then this past weekend
Uh had a mental health crisis and ended up in a treatment facility
Okay
Are you married remarried? No, I I have not to this no, no not to this relationship
Okay, so you have um
But are are you but the two the other the older two children?
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For nearly 30 years go to zander.com today the older two children. Where are they?
So they're from a previous marriage. Um, and I have them 50% of the time
Okay, okay, so it's just a 20 month old in question and you're saying the mom is not a safe environment
Uh as of right this second. No, okay
It just depends on how scorched earth you want to go on this. Um
you know, uh
What's the nature of your 40 000 or 60 000 dollars worth of debt?
Yeah, so I have uh
Roughly 26 000 on a parent plus loan that I agreed to take on
When I you know was initially going to school, um, i've got
9700 on my student loans. Um, i've got
About 4100 on a credit card
Um, and then 9200 on a roof
um
There's part of this and I don't know dave you could probably speak to this a little bit better. But uh
If the judge is looking for fitness
It might look good for you to say I i've got forty thousand dollars saved
I don't have any debt your rent, you know, you're a renter and you live in a really nice place
Uh, that could look good. It looks nice and responsible if that's what you're going for
Um, and I like that
Come on, you got you have the money to fight with because right now
I don't know where you get ten thousand dollars to hand an attorney right now
Right and that's what you're going to need to get just to get started
Yeah, I think I was quoted
about
four to six thousand dollars
Um, if there's really no battle, you know, if she decides to just be agreeable to everything
Otherwise i'm looking at upwards of fifteen thousand. Yeah, and it could go on and on and back and forth really
continuously
Right
Okay, so I mean it it's um
I don't know where you're going to get ten thousand dollars unless you do this
Okay, I don't I mean your income's not that high
Uh, there's nothing in this. I mean if you quit paying all the debts, that's fine
It's not I mean you quit paying those student loans you catch up
Half the half of america's defaulted on their student loan. So you go back and pick that up later
Uh, but that's not a cash that doesn't give you the cash flow to come up with ten grand quickly
And you don't have anything else to sell or that i've heard of do you have money in savings or investments anywhere?
Uh, I mean so my investment I I ended up pausing it. So I've only got like 200 in an ira
Um, i've got 1300 in my my savings after this month i'll have closer to
2 000
um
But that's I mean that's really about it. I don't have a vehicle. Um, i'm borrowing
one currently
um
So I don't have that
I am 34. Are you paying child support on the other two?
Uh, no, and because you have 50 correct 20 months old
um
The only way I know how to answer questions that are super difficult like this one on this show is if I woke up in
Your shoes, what would I do? I've never been anywhere near something like this personally
So I don't know what I would do. But what I think I would do
Is that I would prioritize my financial investments?
And my financial advancement my wealth building behind
The good of my child good of my child would come first
And that would mean i'm going to sell the house
And i'm going to go get custody
And if it takes forty thousand dollars to do that fine
But i'm gonna have forty thousand dollars in my pocket and i'm going to be a hundred percent debt free
And i'm going to get an inexpensive clean safe rental for the other two kids to visit you at
When you have your custody time and for this 20 month old to be raised
And um, then you're starting again
To save because you're going to spend money on this 20 month old on
legal fees
and um
and uh
To to take care of this baby and that's that's what you know
I think that's got to be the priority the baby's got to come first. I mean, it's like all this other stuff is secondary and
Um, of course and I don't know I don't see a hole in your story
To reach into and get 10 000 bucks and it's going to take you 10
The four to five is that's a that's not going to happen
It's going to take it's going to take 10. It's probably going to take 20
Because she's mentally ill
100 expect a problem
If if if she wasn't mentally ill might be different then there'd still be a problem because you're trying to take her child
But she's mentally ill and so she's crazy
And so just expect crazy. I mean you don't expect nothing else
So that that's you know what we're doing here. Wow
Skip, sorry for you, man. I'm, sorry for that baby most of all
um
Yeah, take take care of that
Um, how do I say this? Nice just say it
If you're sleeping with your crazy girlfriend and you make a baby, this is what you get
There you go, was that nice yes, that was yeah
And if you're dating a girl guys, and she says i'm not crazy a hundred percent that means she's crazy
Well, she showed you something. You just didn't want to see it at some point
She showed you something or he showed you whoever
Gotta take care when people show you who they are
I want to I want to love skip and I want to help him
but I also want to say out loud for those listening that this is
The result of decisions. Yeah bad ones. Yeah
And this is where we get to now. We've got but now there's a baby and it's not the baby's fault
That's right. And you want to protect them at all costs
And so now we've got a man up and take care of the baby for the mistakes that have been made
in this process, so
Don't date crazy girls and for sure don't sleep with them
Hello, and there's ways to prevent babies. I'm just saying don't sleep with them that prevents it
That stops it every time it's a hundred percent
It's a hundred percent cure
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