Funniest Happy Gilmore Moments (Adam Sandler) | Happy Gilmore (1996) | Screen Bites

Number 18, is that Gilmore again? How many times has this guy tried out anyway? At least 10 times. Guy's got a lot of intensity. Not a real strong skater though. Ain't the best puck handler either. Yeah, but my shot. I am not spending the rest of my life with a loser. I'm gone. Good, then get the hell out of my life. Who needs you? Beat it. Leave me alone. I'm sorry, babe. I didn't mean that either. I just yell sometimes because I get so scared. Scared of being a nobody. Why don't you just come back upstairs, honey? I'll give you the old smoochy-smoo, kissy-wissy. Hmm? You know happy's gonna make everything okay. I wanna kiss you all over. And over and again. I wanna kiss you all over. Till the night closes in. Terry. Is this guy kidding? This is pathetic. Good shot. It's about time. It is about time. I mean, I just couldn't get the ball in the hole. I wanted to, but I just couldn't do it. Grandma, good news. I made the professional golfer's tour. That's lovely, dear. Yeah, it is lovely. You know what else is lovely? If I can figure out a way to beat those other guys, we're gonna get the house back. Oh, thank God. I can't stand to live in this place another minute. What are you talking about? I thought you'd like it here. That orderly guy seems very nice. Don't you like him? Oh, I do. I do. It's just, well, the air conditioner's broken. I'm getting a little warm. Well, just let the kid fix it for you. All right. Got the little twisty knobs. All right. Mister! Mister! Get this off of me! Mister! Hang on, I'll be right down. Uh, you know that Mista Mista lady? I think I just killed her. Carry on. Why didn't you just go home? That's your home! Are you too good for your home? Answer me! Suck my white-ass ball! Give me my ball! Give it here! Pop it up, you dirty bastard! I swear to God, I'll rip it out of you! Give me the... Give me the ball, alligator. You've got one eye. Chubbs, you took his hand. I can't believe you're a professional golfer. I think you should be working at the snack bar. You better relax, Bob. There is no way that you could have been as bad at hockey as you are at golf. All right, let's go. Oh, man! You want a piece of me? I don't want a piece of you. I want the whole thing! Now you're gonna get it, Bobby. The price is wrong, bitch. I think you've had enough. No? Now you've had enough. Bitch. You really took some giant steps out there tonight. I'm really proud of you. I've got something really special for you here. Oh, wow. Thanks, Chubbs. See that? That is the same putter I used when I played. Slightly modified, of course. Man! This is excellent. Oh, you've got the spirit of a hockey player in you, Happy. So I figured why fight, eh? Oh, I've got something for you, too, pal. What? Yeah, I mean, I figured if it wasn't for you, none of this would have happened, right? So I wanted to show my appreciation. Oh, this looks nice. What is it, eh? Open it up. Oh, man. Remember the gator that got your hand? I got his head. Chubbs! First my dad, now Chubbs. Anybody I get close to dies. If I were you, I'd run. Oh, no. You can't blame yourself for this. I guess that alligator finally finished the job, huh? I'm gonna miss you, pal. I don't know how the hell I'm gonna play today. Just remember everything that he taught you. Congratulations, murderer. You killed a golf legend. Beat it, McGavin. You know what I'm gonna do? I'm gonna dedicate my performance at the tour championship to Chubbs' memory. To hell with that. I'm playing for Chubbs. Nuh-uh. I called it first. Hey, hey, hey, hey. You wanna beat him, beat him on the course. That's right. I'm gonna beat your ass on the course. Yeah, right. Grizzly Adams had a beard. Grizzly Adams did have a beard.