Meet the Fockers (2004): Jack Receives A Massage From Greg's Mom

It's very tender from the horrific football accident. Oh, I feel it. My god, you're knotted like a pretzel. You must be in a lot of pain, huh? I don't mind pain. I learn from pain. Pain, schmane. My fingers are magic. Come on, let me work out the kinks. Oh, yeah, that's a lovely offer, Jack. No thanks, I'll be fine. My wife does wonderful body work, Jack. I don't think he needs it. OK, handsome, shirt off. Oh, no dice. No, no, no. It has to come off. Ha, lovely. You know, most back pain is psychological. We carry our emotional baggage right here in our muscles. I've been watching you, Jack, studying your body language. And you're a very sensual man, but I'm not sure you realize that. What are you doing? It's a technique I learned in Hawaii. It's a loamy, loamy massage named after the gentle waves of the Polynesian Sea. The waves go in, and the waves go out. The waves go in. Whoops, hit some driftwood. Jack Bright, you are a caged lion. But lions can't be captives their entire lives. They have to be free to roam the bush, free and wild. Your wife is a hot, sexy tigress, and she's waiting for you to pounce on her. Let me hear you roar, baby, roar. Your body is talking to me. It's hungry for action. I can feel it. Unleash the beast inside you, Jack. Mom, stop it. You're hurting him. I am not hurting him. I am helping him. Just don't, don't, don't. I don't think you should move just yet. Jack, come back for an afternoon session. It'll do you good. What are you doing? We were so close. I could feel it. I was getting through to him. Mom, the guy doesn't like to be touched. Because he has the emotional height of a rhinoceros. Don't break him down. Just let him be. I was trying to do you a favor. You were riding him like Seabiscuit, Mom. Dial Foxtrot 1. Alpha Foxtrot 1. Foxtrot 1, I need a full comparative DNA analysis on one Gaylord M. Fokker, one Jorge Villalobos. Translation, George, House of the Wolves. Might take a couple of weeks, Santa. No good, Foxtrot 1. I need a 12-hour turnaround. I'll secure the physical evidence, and the handoff will be at Harry Fokker's Good Time Supper Club, Biscayne Boulevard, 2,100 hours tonight. You got it, Santa. Foxtrot 1 out. Yellow. Ernie, this is Jack Burns. Hey, Jack. Hey, where are you calling from? I'm in my RV. Would you have Greg meet me here in three minutes? You're in your trailer? Thank you. Goodbye. Hey, Gaylord! Jack wants you to meet him in his trailer in precisely three minutes. And I have to tell you, El Stifo is really starting to freak me out. Greg, wait, OK? Listen, no matter how hard he probes you, you have to promise that you will not break, because I am not ready to tell him that I'm pregnant yet. Hey, honey. We shouldn't. Honey. Let him probe, because he's probing a brick wall. Now show me how you would like a romantic evening to go. Oh, Jack, wine and candles. Gosh, it's not even our anniversary. Come here, hot stuff. Ah, yes, yes. Ah, oh, Jack, what a goody. Jack? Down here, under the bed. Down here, Greg. Wow. Have a seat. That's the panel. It's incredible. So this is like your mobile command center for all your spy activities? Mainly a secure space for me to spend some alone time and reflect on my thoughts. Very cool. Greg, you'll recall that we had a discussion earlier in the week regarding my feelings about family, legacies, children, and so forth. Oh, yeah, of course I recall. Yeah. I'm going to just ask you once. Is there anything you want to tell me regarding things that might have happened? Is it involving the food on your loins? No. If he's not going to admit it on his own. Hello, Jorge. It's Jack Burns, remember me? Oh, yeah, sure. You came to the house with Bernie. He had that fancy camera pen. Yeah, that's right. Listen, do you have any plans tonight? Uh, no. Good, because I'd like to invite you to a party. Hey. Have a good time? Uh, no, not really. Oh. Hey, listen, sweetie, did you tell your mother that I'm pregnant because she keeps touching my stomach and smiling with her eye like that? Um, yeah, no, I didn't tell her. She just, she guessed. She what? Yeah, and then she told my dad. Oh, my god. Bernie, stop. It's not funny. I told my mom. What? Yeah. What are you, now your dad's definitely going to find out. No, no, no, she knows my dad. She'll never see him. No, no, but he's very, very suspicious. Oh, great. Hi. Honey, would you take this to your mother? It's a wine spritzer. That's all she drinks now. OK. You guys have fun? Yeah. Nice. Nice party, isn't it? Yeah, it is. It's nice. It's got a nice festive vibe. You met some of the, uh, some of the cousins? I met some, yes. I met some, um, Dom. Mm, yeah, Dom Fokker. That's my dad's, uh, first cousin. You meet, uh, his kids, Randy and Orny? I met Randy and Orny, yes. Yeah. Come on. I want to introduce you to somebody. Come on in. Oh, there he is. Glad you could make it, Jorge. Oh, hey. Thanks for the invite, Mr. Lee. Greg. This is Jorge Villalobos. Hey. How you doing? Isabel's son. Oh, I didn't realize Isabel had a son. When did she get married? She's not married. He's never met his father. Oh, I'm sorry. That's, I mean, that's, that's too bad. Oh, no, no, it's, it's school. My mom said my dad wasn't, like, mature enough to deal with a kid anyway. So, yeah. So how do you guys know each other? Well, this young man is quite the mechanic. And he's only 15 years old. Isn't that impressive? Really? You're 15? Yeah. That is impressive. He's a handsome kid, huh? Yeah, almost like a young, half Hispanic Marlon Brando. Well, two guys too tall. Probably have a lot in common. Well, 15.