Most ICONIC Moments - Voted by YOU! - The Office US

You lose everything, everything falls apart, and eventually you die and no one remembers you. That is a very good point, Dwight. Make a right turn. Wait, wait, wait, wait. No, no, no, no. It means bear right. Up there. No. It said right. It said take a right. No, no, no, no. No, look. It means go up to the right, bear right, over the bridge, and hook up with 307. Make a right turn. Maybe it's a shortcut, Dwight. It said go to the right. It can't mean that. There's a lake there. I think it knows where it's going. This is the lake. The machine knows. This is the lake. Stop yelling at me. No, it's not yelling. There's no road here. Remain calm. I have trained for this. Okay. Exit the window. Here we go. Make a U-turn, if possible. Look out for leeches. Michael, are you okay? Swim for it. I got you. Michael, let go. Let go of me. I got you. Oh, nothing. Pam's on vacation, and she gets back tomorrow, so it'll be nice to see her. It'll be nice. And she set a date for the wedding with Roy. June. Summer. So that'll be nice. And that's that. What? Oh, nothing. Jim's been looking at me kind of a lot all week. I would be creeped out by it, but it's nothing compared to the way Michael looks at me. Okay, you know what? Everybody, let's just get over the whole Merida thing. She cracked her pelvis, a tiny little crack, and she's going to be fine. So let's just... Michael, Angela's cat died. Sprinkles? Oh. I'm sorry, Angela. Man, what a day, huh? How could it get any worse? The computer crashes with the porn, and then Meredith with the accident, and then... Prinkles? God. That's three things. I'll tell you what's going on. This office is cursed. And we need to do something about it. Why I'm taking responsibility. And it is up to me to get rid of the curse that hit Meredith with my car. I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious. I finally broke down and bought myself a plasma TV. Check it out. I actually hung this on the wall myself. Good. I want to show you something. A lot of people in the room, you need more space. Voila, right into the wall. Wow. Sometimes I will just stand here and watch television for hours. I love it. I love this TV. Hi, guys. Hey. Does everyone know my boyfriend, Bob Vance? Kevin Malone. Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration. Stanley Hudson. Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration. Ryan Howard. Bob Vance. Vance Refrigeration. What line of work you in, Bob? Lazy Scranton. Sitting in my office with a plate of grilled bacon. Call my man twice just to see what we're shaking. Yo, Mike, our town is dope and pretty. So check out how we live. In the electric city. They call it Scranton. What? The electric city. Scranton. What? The electric city. Call poison control if you're bit by a spider. But check that it's covered by your health care provider. It reminds me of the orientation video Michael showed on my first day. The Scranton Witch Project. I am so scared. When people don't label their personal food. You like coal mines and you want to see them? Well, check it out, yo. The answer's on the ceiling. Plenty of space in the parking lot. Let the little cars go in the compact spot. Spot. Spot. Spot. Spot. Well, so far, I think it is killing. I mean, I thought it would either be an A or an A+, but I completely forgot that there's an A++. Honestly, Michael, it's for you to know it so that you can communicate it to the people here, to your clients, to whomever. Okay. What? It's whoever, not whomever. No, it's whomever. No, whomever is never actually right. No, sometimes it's right. Michael is right. It's a made-up word used to trick students. No. Actually, whomever is the formal version of the word. Obviously, it's a real word, but I don't know when to use it correctly. Not a native speaker. I know what's right, but I'm not gonna say, because you're all jerks who didn't come see my band last night. Do you really know which one is correct? I don't know. It's whom when it's the object of the sentence and who when it's the subject. That sounds right. Well, it sounds right, but is it? How did Ryan use it as an object? As an object. Ryan used me as an object. Is he right about the... How did he use it again? It was... Ryan wanted Michael, the subject, to explain the computer system, the object... Thank you. ...to whomever, meaning us, the indirect object, which is the correct usage of the word. No one asked you anything ever, so whomever's name is Toby, why don't you take a letter opener and stick it in your skull? Hey, this doesn't matter. Hey, Dwight. Hey. You want an M&M? No, thanks. I'm stuffed. No, seriously. You should have an M&M. They're really good. Okay. Good, huh? I'll go to her. Hey. I thought you weren't supposed to eat anything for a couple of hours after you had a crowd put in. They're having this new kind of quick-drying bonding. Huh. Sounds like a good dentist. Oh, yeah. What's his name? Crentist. Crentist's name is Crentist. Huh. He sounds a lot like dentist. Maybe that's why he became a dentist. Let me see your teeth. Let me see them. I know. Fine. Whatever you want. Just like always. Whatever you want. Whatever I want? It's never whatever I want. Fine. When I wanted to see Stomp and you wanted to see Wicked, what did we see? We saw Wicked. When I said that I wanted to have kids and you said that you wanted me to have a vasectomy, what did I do? And then when you said that you might want to have kids and I wasn't so sure, who had the vasectomy reversed? And then when you said you definitely didn't want to have kids, who had it reversed back? Stip-stap! Stip-stap! Stip-stap! I did! You have no idea the physical toll that three vasectomies have on a person! Hello? Hello, this is Dwight Schrute from the Dunder Mifflin Paper Company. Wow, that's great, because I need paper. Excellent, then you are in luck because we are having a limited time offer only on everything. Wow, this is my lucky day. What is your name, sir? I am Bill Butlicker. Really, that's your real name? How dare you? My family built this country, by the way. Be respectful, Dwight. Yes, Michael. Could you hold on one second? That's my other line. What? No, but I... Hello? Yeah. No, I'm just on the phone with this stupid salesman. He's so dumb. Probably just going to keep him on the line forever and not buy anything. Okay. It's up to you to change the line. Sorry, that was a family emergency. Oh no, what's wrong? You know what? That's private. Boundaries, Dwight. Come on. I'm sorry, Mr. Butlicker. As I was saying, we are having a limited... Son, you just have to speak up a little bit louder. I'm hard of hearing. He's hard of hearing. He's an old man. Okay, as I was saying, right now we are having... Yeah, talk louder. Okay, our prices have never been lower. Son, you have to talk louder. Never been lower. Louder, son! Butlicker! Our prices have never been lower! Stop it. Pete! That is totally inappropriate. You never yell at the client. Now you listen to me, sir. Here we go. The three words I would describe you as is aggressive, hostile, and definitely difficult. Please, Mr. Butlicker. I'm irate right now. Give me the phone. Please give me another chance. Give me the phone. Mr. Butlicker. Give me the phone. I have to put you on with my boss. Well, I should hope so. Who is this? Hello, this is Michael Scott, regional manager. Well, this is William M. Butlicker. Hello, Mr. Butlicker. How may we help you? Michael, I like the sound of your voice. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to buy one million dollars worth of paper products today. See, that's tough. Thank you very much, sir. I don't think you'll regret it. You are the master. There is one condition, Michael. Yes? You have to fire the salesmen that treated me so terribly. Don't do it, Michael. Are you swallowing them whole? You're eating them so fast. Are they even touching your tongue? Yeah. Brownies, is that? Huh. Pastry cubes made of sugar and fat? No, thank you. I'll stick with my jerky. So why'd you come in here? To socialize and inform. Ooh, brownies. I'm taking two so I can parcel them up and eat them at my leisure later on. Much healthier. You're taking two? Yeah, um, but one of them is for Toby. Yeah. Why don't you send that to him in Costa Rica? Um, I'm just going to hand it to him right now. Okay, weirdo. Why is that? Why is that weird? She said she's going to give it to him right now. She's probably going to because they sit next to each other. Yeah, they used to. Toby works here again. Oh, can you imagine? Oh, no. Oh. You don't know. I don't know. What? You should probably just meander back there. Take a look. See if he's back. Dare I? You know what? I'm going to. For old time's sake. Great practical joke, Jim. Got me to go to the annex. No! God! No! God! Please, no! No! Hey, cuz. Heard you were having money problems. No, you didn't. Listen, I got the answer. You declare bankruptcy, all your problems go away. I declare bankruptcy! I have a song, attention, everyone, that I want to sing, that I wrote especially for this occasion when I was up there among the flames. Ready? Ryan started the fire! It was always burning since the world's been turning! Ryan started the fire! Yeah! It was always burning since the world's been turning! I can't believe I started the fire. And there goes Marilyn Monroe! Marilyn Monroe! I just thought you should know. I think something a little fishy is going on. A little fishy? Yeah. I've been noticing all day. I was thinking... That little girl is a child. I don't want to see you sniffing around her anymore this afternoon. Do you understand? Boy, have you lost your mind, because I'll help you find it. What are you looking for? Ain't nobody going to help you out there. Jesus can come through that door and he's not going to help you if you don't stop sniffing after my child. Okay. Stanley yelled at me today. That was one of the most frightening experiences of my life. It's kind of blurry. Question. What kind of bear is best? It's a ridiculous question. False. Black bear. Well, that's debatable. There are basically two schools of thought. Fact. Bears eat beets. No. Bears. Beets. Battlestar Galactica. Bears do not... What is going on? What are you doing? Last week, I was in a drugstore and I saw these glasses. Four dollars. And it only cost me seven dollars to recreate the rest of the ensemble, and that's a grand total of... Eleven dollars. You know what? Imitation is the most sincere form of flattery, so I thank you. Identity theft is not a joke, Jim. Millions of families suffer every year. Michael! Oh, that's funny. Michael! First I was afraid. I was petrified. No, it's... Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. You were in the parking lot earlier. That's how I know you. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Ah, ah, ah, ah. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. You can't tell by the way I use my walk. I'm a woman's man, no time to talk. Words and love, women war, been proud since I was born. It's all right, it's okay. You can look the other way. Look at me. Stayin' alive, stayin' alive. Okay, you didn't maintain 100 beats per minute, and the ambulance didn't arrive because nobody called 911, so you lost him. Okay, he's dead. Anyone know what we do next? Anybody? Rose? I have no idea. Anyone else? We bury him. Wrong. Check for an organ donor card. If he has one, we only have minutes to harvest. He has no wallet. I checked. He is an organ donor. He is? Yeah. Give me some ice and a styrofoam bucket. Here we go. Oh, my God! What are you doing? Ah! What are you doing? We search for the organs. Where's the heart? The precious heart. I'm not feelin' well. I need to sit down. Are you okay? Ow! Oh, my God! Why? Oh, my God! Actually, it's kind of too bad we're not coming in to work tomorrow. Why? I bet Michael had some elaborate theme party planned, like scrambled eggs Saturday. I'm like, hey, everyone, let's get your boss laid Saturday. I have an announcement to make. I am moving to Costa Rica. Thought about it for a long time now, and I'm finally gonna do it. So I'm just gonna hop the fence and jog home now. Hello. Hi. Michael's got paper company to see Mr. David Wallace. I believe we're expected. Well, well, well. How are the turntables? You ready? Hmm. You kidding? I was born ready. Wait, wait, wait. Um, I don't know how to tell you this, but we have a little bit of a problem. Now what? The minister just told me that it's tradition for the bestish mensch to be older than the groom. Oh, come on. I've never heard of such a thing. I haven't heard of it, obviously. But I'm out because I'm significantly younger than you. Not significant is a big word. I think you're... Okay, either way, either way, Dwight, I can't be there for you. I'm sorry. Jim. I just really wish there was something I could do. Michael. I can't believe you came. That's what she said. Best prank ever. Last week I gave a fire safety talk, and nobody paid any attention. It's my own fault for using PowerPoint. PowerPoint is boring. People learn in lots of different ways, but experience is the best teacher. Today, smoking is going to save lives. I don't smell anything smoky. Did you bring your jerky in again? Ahem. A fire? Oh, my goodness. What's the procedure? What do we do, people? The bones are dead. Oh, how did that happen? It's out in the hall. No, we don't know that. The smoke could be coming through an air duct. Oh, my God. Okay, it's happening. Everybody stay calm. What's the procedure, everyone? What's the procedure? Stay f----- calm. Wait, wait, wait, wait. Everybody just f----- calm down. No, no, Michael, no. Touch the handle. If it's hot, there could be a fire in the hallway. What does warm mean? Oh, my gosh. Try the other door. Not a viable option. What next? Don't run. Go to the other door. Oh, here's a door. Check that one out. How's the handle? It's warm. Okay, go to the back door. Well, another option. Another option. Jeez. Okay, settle down, everyone. Look at my purse. Leave it, woman. Get out of the way. Go, go, go. Things can be replaced, Phyllis. People. Human lives, however, can... That's hot. This one's hot, too. Okay, we're trapped. Everyone for himself. Okay. Let's go. Get out of my way. Okay, okay. Okay. Have you ever seen a burn victim? Move back. Okay. Procedure, procedure. Exit options. Where do we go, folks? Use a what to cover the mouth? A what? A rag. A damp rag, perhaps. Let's remember those procedures. What are the options? Okay. That's the wrong way. We've already tried that. Remember your exit points. Exit points. What's next? Stay alive. I'm getting help. Pull me up. You're too heavy. I only weigh 82 pounds. They found it. 911, anyone? 911. Use the surge of fear and adrenaline to sharpen your decision-making. Okay, I am not dying here. Come on. Fire shooting at us. Employees of Dunder Mifflin, this has been a test of our emergency preparedness. There is no fire. It was only a fire. What? Fire, not real. This was merely a training exercise. So, what have we learned? Oh, come on. It's not real, Stanley. Don't have a heart attack. No, no, no, no, no. You will not die. Stanley. Stanley, you will not die. Stanley. Barack is president. You are black, Stanley. I'm going to give him mouth-to-mouth. No, no, no. Don't give him mouth-to-mouth for this. You're going to swallow his tongue. Open your mouth. Michael. Don't swallow it. I'm fine. Leave me alone. I'm fine. Save it.