The Moment You Realize You Deserve Better than a NARCISSIST

I want you to just picture a sunny afternoon where you're just scrolling on your phone going through social media. And you come up on a meme that says, you can't pour from an empty cup. And it just hits you so different. It resonates with you so deeply. And at that moment, something clicks in your head, a light bulb just goes off. And you discover that you're finding the missing piece of the puzzle that you didn't even know you were working on. You find out that you've discovered the answer to your problems, your question, the situation and the relationship you've been caught up in, in this manipulative, abusive experience with a narcissist. This is the moment where you realize that you deserve better. When something clicks in your mind, and you're suddenly not just a spectator of your own life anymore. You're now the main character and you see that you notice it and feel it. The plot twist is that you've been living in a toxic manipulation ship with a narcissist. Hello and welcome to my channel you guys. This is your girl Mommy So Chuu. So happy to see you. Please, you're invited to hit the subscription button. Join the community of Thrivers Post-Narcissistic Abuse. We're here to educate, learn, love, grow, and thrive on with life after narcissistic abuse. I invite you to reach out and contact me if you're interested in working with me as a life coach going through this. To navigate your healing journey after this experience, please look at the description box to find ways to contact me or book those sessions. If you're interested in Mommy So Chuu merchandise, please look at the link in the description box below as well. Of course, feel free to email me, text me, contact me and let me know what's going on in your world with this crazy, hellish experience. Narcissism is not just a buzzword. It really is a real thing. And being a survivor, being on the healing journey is also a real thing. This is a psychological behavioral problem. And it makes these people more than just toxic. To me, they're almost devilish in the way that they treat the people they're supposed to love. What does love mean to a narcissist? Crickets. Exactly. Crickets. It really means nothing. It really means nothing. It literally means how can I use you? What do you have for me? What can I get from you? Are you usable? You know, do you fit my image, my narrative? There's no love there. Love just does not exist there. What does exist there is a lot of manipulation, a lot of betrayal, a lot of lying, a lot of stealing, a lot of conniving, a lot of harsh criticism, a lot of confusion. All of this just leaves you drained. It leaves you completely exhausted and frustrated. You have some narcissists that are charming. They know how to be nice. They know how to give things because they are expecting parts of you back as a favor in return for whatever they are doing for you. It's never genuine. It's never authentic. There's always some type of an agenda. There's always some type of a hidden agenda. And they'll charm you and put you on a high and then drop you down, pick you up, drop you down. It's the worst excruciating, creepy, terrifying roller coaster experience you could ever have. You know, it's sickening. It's gut wrenching. It's painful. It's hurtful. It's hurtful. And the moment we typically realize that we deserve better, this is the moment that almost feels like an awakening, a slow, gradual awakening for our lives. It's like a slow rise of the sun after a long, dark night. And for many of you, that means years of dark nights, where you never saw the sun. You never saw the sun. You never had good weather. This is the moment when you might start to notice those little things that you always overlooked in the past, however long you were with them. When you start to realize you deserve better, you start to become very cautious, alert, and very awoken and aware of some of the little things, the behaviors about them that have been so secretive, so silent, that it was almost unnoticeable. You started to notice that, you know, there's dismissive behaviors here and there. This person doesn't really like when you don't give them their way. This person shuts down and does not speak to you because they could not get their way. I mean, punishment after punishment, emotionally punishing you, because they are not able to feel any better within themselves if they are not aiming to tear you down. The moment when you realize, okay, the subtle, belittling comments here and there, the jokes that they like to throw out there when friends are around, family is around, but then they act like they're not, you know, like it's just a joke, but it's really an insult. It's really harsh criticism, pointing out things that should be between you and them, things that are, you know, private or should be some kind of a secret because it would humiliate or shame you. They do not care. You start to pay attention to all of those type of gestures, and it's like a slow leak in a tire. You start to pay attention and assess these behaviors. You start to notice that this person actually has a cold way of showing you love. You know, it's love with conditions to the point where it seems like your love will never be enough. You'll work hard, you'll try all type of things, and it will never be enough. You start to notice how dissatisfied they are, which starts to make sense to you because being around them exhausts you. And when they're not around you, you feel like there's a weight lifted off your shoulders. There's some kind of peace when they're not around you. You start to add things up, connect the dots, make sense of stuff. And just like that slow leaking tire, you can drive for a while, but eventually you're still gonna pull over on the side of the road because that tire is not gonna last. And you're gonna find yourself on the side of the road wondering, why didn't I stop sooner? This is the moment you realize you deserve better. You're like, why have I done this to myself for X amount of years? What was I thinking? This is when you start to self-reflect. Why did I stay in this? Why have I been in this? How did I not see all of this? What made me miss red flags? What is it about me that I need to work on? The moment you realize you deserve better, maybe it was that moment, perhaps your friend finally pulled you to the side and gave you that, that friend talk one more time. Friend, I love you. I hope you know you deserve better than this. I want the best for you. And I think you deserve the best man or the best woman. Because that's what you are to others. I pray that you see your worth, friend. Maybe that was the moment for you. Or maybe perhaps the moment for you was when you read a self-help book. And you realized, oh my gosh, I need to practice self-love because I'm in a toxic relationship. And I don't deserve that. I deserve respect. I deserve support. I deserve kindness. I deserve love. Unconditional love. Because that's what I give. This is the moment where you can now stand in front of a mirror for the first time and see your reflection clearly. And in your reflection, you see that, oh my God, none of this is my fault. I am not the problem here. This person is what they are. And they're going to be what they're going to be. Because I have done my part. I have given what was required of me. I have been genuine. I'm still authentic. I am still a real one in this whole thing. But they will never be that. So let me be real with myself and recognize my worth. Know that my dreams and my happiness are valid. This moment is liberating. It's like shedding a heavy winter coat in the springtime. It's like, oh, I'm free. This got this weight off of me. I feel light. I feel free. I'm ready to embrace the world again. Let's go. Let's go. You know, this awakening can be scary. Because leaving narcissistic relationships is like stepping off of a rollercoaster that has been thrilling, yet very terrifying. You're faced with so much uncertainty, so much fear. You're faced with the fear of loneliness and the daunting task of rebuilding, especially after you've given so much of your life to this person or these people. In the words of the great Maya Angelou, you alone are enough. You have nothing to prove to anyone. So just say it with me today. I am enough. Thriver, do you remember the moment that you realized you deserve better? And you pick those scissors up and you cut that family member off? You walked away from that toxic parent? Or you finally ended that relationship and you served those divorce papers and never turned back? Yes. I'm so proud of you. Keep going. This was the moment that those rose colored glasses shattered. You were no longer blind to it no more. You were on to the game and now game is over. You see the manipulation. You understand what the gaslighting looks like. The constant need for validation and admiration that they've been pulling on you all this time is almost laughable because it's like what a kid, what a broken baby. You realize you deserve better. You deserve respect. You deserve compassion. You deserve support and unconditional love. If you're in a narcissistic relationship, I urge you to step into this moment and realize that you deserve better. And when you do, I pray you have the courage to walk away if that is a possibility for you. You deserve to be with someone who doesn't question your every move. Who doesn't make you feel like a piece of dirt. Who doesn't use you for their own benefits. Who doesn't lie and set you up with a bunch of future faking promises they're never going to fulfill. Someone who doesn't enjoy tearing you down so they can feel superior. You're worthy of love and you're worthy of happiness. Thank you for watching today's video. Until next time, beautiful people, take care.