BECAUSE LOVE DOES NOT LIVE THERE.

Hello beautiful people. Welcome to my channel. Hey guys, this is your girl, Mommy So True. Shout out to my survivors, my warriors, and all my thrivers out there. I hope you're doing wonderful today. I'm taking a few moments to just talk to you and tell you what's on my heart as a survivor, as an empath who has healed, is on a healing journey from survivor to survivor. I'm sharing my story. I'm dropping some knowledge on this day. And if what I have to say resonates with you, if you have a comment, please drop it. Hit that like button and subscribe. If you're new to my channel, hit the notification bell so you don't miss my weekly videos and my live posts. For anyone interested in life coaching sessions, information to book those sessions are in the description box below along with any other contact information for you to reach out to. Like many of you watching this video, you've been through the experience of either dating a narcissist, being married to a narcissist, or maybe even being raised by a narcissist. And if you're like me, maybe you're not where I'm at yet. But today, I want to share with you part of my recovery journey, part of my ultimate wake-up call. The moment when I realized love... I can't even make the sign. It just does not live there. Love does not live there. There's nothing loving about a narcissist. There's nothing loving about their environment. They don't put you in a safe space because everything is formulated on lies. Your foundation of the relationship, aka manipulation, is founded on lies. Therefore, they can't be trusted. Where is love if there's no trust? They cannot be trusted. You don't know when you're being lied to, which is probably all of the time. That's the love language that they speak. They are narcissists and being truthful is too hard. It's too difficult. It'll bring too much shame. Because let's be real, if a narcissist came into our lives telling us the truth, they would not have gone as far as they've gone with us. We would have definitely stopped everything right then and there if they were honest. I'm not talking about just slipping up and telling you they were broken, that they've been through things. That's normal. We all have been broken. We've all been through trauma. We've all been through things. We've all had rough relationships. But for them, it's different. Yes, they've been broken. Yes, they've had some difficult childhoods that's contributed to their nasty character, but it doesn't excuse it. And being that they are narcissists, if they pulled you into their life, I know it was nothing but chaos and hell. From day one to the last day, to the very last moment. Every aspect of dealing with a narcissist is difficult to the point where it's draining. And it starts with mentally draining you, which trickles down to draining you physically, which if you're spiritual, at this point, you're a broken spiritual being. Forgetting who you are. That's what they're good at. Coming in and making you forget who you are, at least trying to. But for many of us, we were too damn strong for a narcissist. And it didn't take much for us to catch on to this game of theirs. It didn't take much for us to smell right through the lies. It didn't take much for us to see right through their mask. That moment when we realized that love did not live there. That was that moment where mental drainage stopped because you started rebuilding. You started finding a way to keep yourself from draining because of someone who was unworthy of your love and your time, your affection, your validations. The moment you realized love did not live there, you started being more aware of you. This is when you realized, okay, love lives here though. Love is inside of me though. So this equation is off. The math is not mathing because I'm the only one loving. I'm the only one patient, kind. I'm the only one giving selflessly. I'm the only one forgiving the past. I'm not hanging on to old stuff. So when things come up, I'm bringing it up just to throw the other person off in the conversation. Love just does not live here. Why am I afraid for my children? Because love does not live there. A narcissistic parent is highly critical, sometimes so mean and so cold. And if they're not doing that, they're wishy-washy. One minute they're happy. The next minute they're depressed. And children see that. Children sense that. Children feel that. The narcissist that hangs on to their children until their children are old enough for the mask to fall off, the mask still falls off. And at some point those children wake up and have that moment of, wow, love does not live here. This man, this woman, is incapable of loving me because the things they say, the things they do, how much what I do and what I give doesn't seem to be good enough. I'm always being devalued for some reason. Love just doesn't live here. This person wants me to be perfect when they are the most imperfect creature I've ever encountered. The moment that I realized that I was fooling myself to keep a fool in my life, I started to recalculate and I started making it make sense. The only thing that made sense was to remove myself from the whole situation. The only thing that made sense was to come up with a plan so that a year from now, a year from that time, I would be in a different place because I remembered who I was. That moment when I realized love did not live there. I remembered who I was before this person came in my life and deceived me of this fake love, brought this fake love in and made me think that there was something good there. When all they were doing was really future faking. Love doesn't live anywhere where someone who constantly promises a future they're never going to fulfill. Someone who is telling you they want to love you, they want to commit, but then there's this excuse. Someone who is telling you whether or not you deserve a title of Mr. or Mrs., girlfriend or boyfriend, all because they enjoy control. All because if they're not controlling you, their insecurities are getting to them. Narcissists control, seek control and want to control because of how insecure, broken and damaged they are. The moment you realize love doesn't live there, you connect all of those dots and you realize how much you're really wasting your time. How much you're really giving energy into something that just drains it because this is an energy-draining vampire and you don't want no parts of that. The moment you realize love does not live there, this is the moment you start packing your ---- and finding a way to go. This is where plan B, C, D, E, F all come into play. Everything you never thought you would have to do, you start to do it. You wasn't praying like that before, now you're praying your head off. You wasn't serious about your job, your career, your businesses because you've been focused on that manipulation ship. Well, that moment you realize love does not live there, you snapped up, you woke up and you got your act together. This is when determination ultimately kicks in. You're determined to make sure to get your life back, take your power back, create the life you want, get your old life back because before them you were active, you were working out, you had a bombing and banging body. You were getting up, making moves, doing things that you enjoy doing but then they brought this dark cloud over your life and every day they rained on your parade until you got tired of being rained on, until you woke up and you said, you're not going to keep shitting on me like this. I am committed to you. I am loyal to you. I fight for you every day. You can't seem to fight for me. You can't seem to fight for our love, our marriage, our children. You can't seem to defend me when it's needed. You can't seem to love on me. You can't seem to give me praise but you demand all of that from me and that moment when the light bulb goes off in your head and you realize you've been duped, they've been using you. You've really just been unwillingly participating in this clown show. You signed a contract that had all of these conditions. The moment you realize that is the moment you really take your power back because you're not a fool. You're nobody's fool. You're not an idiot. You're a real one who got tricked by a fake one. You didn't ask for it. You didn't deserve it. They fooled you because that's what they are. They're fools who like to fool other people. They're fools who like to recruit fools, but you're not a fool. So you couldn't stay. You're not a fool. So it didn't work. You're not a fool. So the marriage eventually had to break. The relationship had to break because you're dealing with a narcissist and that's the only end result. Eventually, you have to wake up to see love doesn't exist there. Love is not there. Love will never be there. Never was. It never was. No matter how much they said, they love you. How much they've given you things to make it seem as though they love you. They don't because after that everything they're doing and not doing symbolizes the lack of love. Symbolizes there is none there. It confirms how fake it is. It lets you know that they only showed you those things and gave you those things because they wanted some type of benefit back from you. A narcissist is good at coming off lovable, kind, and sweet when there's an intent and a goal to get something out of it. Once they get whatever it is, they're out of there. Or if they don't get whatever it is, they're out of there because love don't live there. They're not looking for it. They don't want it. They don't know how to hold on to it. They're not equipped to handle it. So when a real one wakes up to their bullshit, it's time to go. It's time to plan and get out of there. It's time to maybe tell them this ain't that kind of party. You need to find somewhere else to lay your head. Matter of fact, I'm going to serve you divorce papers because love does not live here and I'm not going to stay bound to a loveless marriage, an empty marriage. I'm not going to stay bound by a piece of paper to someone who treats it like it's just a piece of paper. They're never there when you need them. Right before the holiday, you somehow got left discarded. Call it what you want because there is some other supply, some new supply. Because love doesn't live there. Most important holidays, they're not spending them with you. They don't care who you're with, how you're spending it because they're spending it with someone else. They're doing it with other people and then they have the audacity to come back, beg and plead, apologize and expect you to accept it, accept them and keep the vicious cycle going again. Many of you, today is Valentine's Day. You're probably going through a discard phase or you remember once upon a time when you were dealing with a narcissist, how they left you hanging during this type of a moment, this type of a holiday. Then find out months later, maybe they were having a baby on you during Valentine's Day with another supply. This is my story. It may not be yours, but I know you have a very similar story because something happened in that relationship that caused it to break and it caused you to wake up and see, recognize, embrace and accept that love doesn't live there. So then what do you do with that? You pour it into yourself. You give yourself that love. You wake up every day and you look in that mirror and you tell yourself, I love you. I appreciate you. I am more than enough. I love my world. I love my life. Have gratitude for the lover that you are because that's who you are. When you realize these people around you don't love you, love yourself. Give it to yourself. Give it to people who are like-minded. There are others out here who are lovers too. Pay attention and protect your peace. If you have not realized that love is not there, pay attention, start listening and formulate a plan to protect your peace because on a day like this, if you're not with someone who deserves all of your love and love in, you need to be giving it to yourself because if you know what I know, you should know, love don't live there, don't exist there. It's not in the midst of any narcissist. If anything, they know how to pretend to be in love and if anything, they know how to be obsessed with you and that's just that, the flat-out truth. Keep loving yourself. Keep thriving and moving forward. Keep pouring love into yourself. Keep doing what you need to do to grow, to elevate, to rebuild. Whatever they've taken from you, take it all back. It all belongs to you and then some. You're not a settler. That's why it didn't work. You learn no, now they hate you because love don't live there. They don't want to hear no because they don't want to be held accountable. You can't love anyone who does not want to be held accountable because it will always be your fault and everybody else's fault and it's always going to be a blame game and if you're an empath, that's going to get to you all the time. You're always going to think it's your fault. Why me? And if your kids are involved, they're going to start thinking it's their fault too because love does not live there. Thank you for watching this video. I appreciate you. You got this. Stay blessed and stay true beautiful people. Until next time. Bye guys.