21 RED FLAGS!!!!! 🚩🚩🚩🚩 #narcissist #npd

Hello beautiful people, welcome to my channel. It's your girl Mommy So True. Hey guys, how are you doing? Welcome in. Thank you for checking in today. I'm stopping in dropping in to talk to you because I got 21 red flags that this is a narcissist that you're dealing with. Yep. If you've had any type of in denial, if you need some validation to understand that you're not crazy to know that you're not alone today, I am going to tell you from personal experience 21 red flags early on. I don't I'm not even talking about throughout the whole relationship. This is 21 red flags early on. Let's talk about it. You guys if you're new to my channel, make sure to subscribe hit the notification bell. So you're not missing those weekly videos and lives. Oh my goodness. If you're interested in reaching out to me for life coaching sessions, please do so the information is in the description box below reach out to me text me if you need any kind of you know, information or details and how to contact me is also in the description box below and if you're interested in being a member on this channel, go ahead and check out that member link as well in that description box. So yeah, you guys I am going to tell y'all about 21 red flags and a lot of this might resonate with some of you most of you especially if you dealt with a malignant narcissist because my experience from what I'm sharing in this video is coming from my experience with a malignant narcissist. Was he diagnosed? No, but I know what I know and there's no doubt. I mean, I know I'm not crazy. So yeah, I mean like the list goes on and on and on. So I literally have to break this down and tell you guys the red flags that were early on the relationship happened so fast that early on really literally means like within the first this is within the first 60 to 90 days that I knew this person. My story is very different from a lot of people the way that I met this person and the way that things went was really crazy. I have one of those stories where we met and we moved very fast like the love bomb was very intense very fast. I was in a place in my life where I was just completely just open to it. I had just walked into my dirty 30s. Honestly, I was open to it in a lot of ways. I was blind to a lot of things in a lot of ways the relationship has taught me a lot has opened my eyes to a lot but it also humbled me in a lot of ways to like the experience for me has just been it's been it's been a lot on many different levels and it feels good to be able to sit down today and share with you what I experienced and hopefully it helps somebody to recognize these signs and to like I said validate you if you've went through this or if you're you know sitting there trying to figure out like dang what did I miss in the beginning and you know part of the healing is to really check some of these things off to kind of sit there and think about some of the things that you contributed to enabled some of the things that a lot of the things that you accepted, you know, so that you can forgive yourself and move on. So let's talk about it you guys. Oh my gosh, the 21 red flags and man, the flags are so red. I had to wear red. I'm like man, let me wear red. So every time I look at myself in the camera, I can remember like girl be transparent let them know how red it is. Like I can't even I can't even be ashamed of it because it is what it is. Like this is my story. I take accountability. I stand full firm in my role in it, but I honestly truly believe that you know me being who I am in a lot of ways. I went into this very open-minded very humbly. I had a different perspective in life at the time that I met him. I was willing to learn I was willing to step into a new chapter in life. I was willing to step out on faith, you know, but let's let's talk more about it because gosh, it's just so deep. It's just so deep. So you guys red flag number one that I'm going to talk about you guys was the intense immediate interest the intense immediate entrance interest from the person the thing the it the monster. Oh my God, whatever the intense immediate attraction connection chemistry, but the intense interest on his end was very high. It was like he saw an angel. It was like he was starstruck. I was literally sitting in a vehicle with tenant windows, you know, I was working at the time. I was dropping off an order to someone else and it happened to be someone he was working with at the time and I rolled down the window handed them the food. I was literally rolling the window up to back off and go because I just that's just how I roll. I'm not ever interested in all that extra attention. I mean, I mean, you know in and out and immediately this guy was just like hey, who are you? Hi, what's your name? At first, you know, I'm pretty friendly. So I was like, you know, hey, hi. Bye, but it quickly went to hey get my number. Call me. Let's talk because you know, you seem very interesting. Let's let's get to know each other and I was intrigued by it because I'm extroverted and I'm very attracted to that type of energy. I like people who are, you know, open and free and secure, you know, and I'm all about networking and just if your vibe is right, we can connect. It's not always about a sexual relationship or a romance relationship. Sometimes it could boil into a friendship, you know, so anyways, that was red flag number one most definitely because it's like immediately when we started talking this person made it seem as if they were so interested in someone who they didn't even see like you don't know if I was disabled at the bottom, you know, if I was paralyzed, you don't know if I'm walking with two left feet, but it was like it seemed like they were in love and I was and I was kind of taken aback but I I wasn't because my mindset wasn't there like I wasn't looking at it like that, which is crazy because I probably should have right red flag. Yeah, that's why it's called a red flag red flag. Number two was I feel like the criticism of other people was kind It's like there was joking comments about people, but it wasn't a joke. It was very condescending. It was very demeaning. It was like put downs. It was like comparing other people to himself or other people to other people. I remember just everyone was gay everything everybody did especially a male. He made sure to point it out as gay and I was like, why are you criticizing everyone in boxing everyone is gay. All right, my third red flag y'all was the anger very very early on literally probably day one or day two of meeting him. There was an anger that was triggered and it was bad enough for me to remember that I immediately stood up wanting to walk out and I knew I was going to cut him off and and never talk to him again based off of that anger that I felt but it's so weird looking back at it. I remember that when I stood up to walk away the things that he said maybe kind of step back and reconsider walking away because I don't remember the argument but it was something about how I did not feel like I should tolerate anyone who had red flags. I feel like it was something of that nature. I was letting him know that I have deal-breakers and there are certain things that I just feel like if I notice in the relationship, it's not for me and I will have to walk away and I remember he exploded and he made a very crazy but valid point and the reason I'm saying is valid because it made me stop myself from walking out his point was, you know, you ain't never gone. You're never gonna be in a successful relationship. If that's your mindset, I don't know. It was something off the wall that made me reconsider my own beliefs major red flag. He said something that sounded like such a valid point that I reconsidered something that I knew I believed strongly and I've always had a very strong cutoff game when it came to dating, you know, you give me a sign and I'm out. I haven't always had bad relationships. I've had some really good ones. I've met some good guys in my life, but I've always chose the the ones that belong in the dumpsters. That's that's my only personal problem. I'm working on it Lord. Jesus take the wheel because I remember getting up. I remember saying no, I can't deal with this dude. This is not the type of guy for me. I remember thinking that I remember getting up grabbing my purse and I also remember when I chose to turn around and sit down. He had a huge smile on his face. Now, I know that it was like cha-ching or like checkmate or like I got her or like yes, like the devil the devil, you know, got what he what he was out to get. It's almost like he knew that this was it. This was the perfect and golden Target and from that point on full control was taken from me. It's so crazy and I think that that is the beginning of the humbling experience for me in the relationship because a part of me allowed that to happen because I was at a point in my life where I was ready to be softened as much as I've always been, you know, very firm with boundaries with men. A part of me have always been too tough a part of me have always been too. No, not him. Not him. I want him. He ain't no, no, no, no, no, no, no. So by the time I got to that guy, I was just like, okay, if I keep doing this, I might be that lady, you know at 50 living with dogs and cats and I don't even like cats, but no, I'm not speaking that on myself. That would never be my life ill, but that was just my thought process, you know, so when he said what he said it made me sit down but major red flag ding ding ding ding ding. So that leads to the next red flag when I started hearing I love you within two weeks from the time that we met from day one up until that I love you messages started being communicated. It was like we were inseparable. I stayed on phone with him. If I wasn't on phone with him, I was will I was no longer allowed to do anything by myself really and to me I was just like, you know what? I'm in a relationship with someone who wants me with them all the time. That's pretty cool. I felt like I was being validated for feelings that I've always felt needed to be validated. I always thought companionship was about being together all the time seeing each other all the time building that at least in the beginning for two people who met and thought that they wanted the same thing. I thought that I was doing something right gosh within two or three weeks completely inseparable always together and that leads to ref the next red flag. He told me we should get married within 30 days of knowing each other. A lot of people don't know this on my channel. If you watch my first video talking about, you know, how we met and the whole marriage one of the things I haven't really talked about is how fast it moved because there's been so much there's been so much shame in that for me because I've never done that in my life. I've never moved so fast with anyone. I've never you know, put aside my own morals for the name of love for the sake of love and also one of the things that I was dealing with at the time was just feeling the need to settle down feeling the need to you know, hey girl, you don't want to be out here dating settle down right and to beat myself up to feel like I've rushed that process. I didn't even I didn't even go to God about it. I don't think I even prayed about this relationship. That's how fast it went. I mean, I probably prayed when I met him because before I met him I was praying I thought I was praying to meet him and so when I met him, I'm like God, thank you. Thank you for answering my prayer and then that was it. So, you know that self-betrayal and that shame has been there. So for me to finally talk about it, I know that's healing working. So when I say keep thriving, I mean it keep thriving because it gets better you do get stronger. So yes, that was the next red flag. Let's get married within 30 days. I remember he literally called my best friend when I was ready to give her the news. She's one of the only closest people to me literally talked to her like every day and she's literally friend family sister everything to me. And so the first person that I was going to go to with that news and she knows me so well. She was like, wait, what? What did you do? What's going on? Like she knew something was up, but she also knows that I'm intelligent. I'm wise. I'm strong-minded and I'm gonna figure it out right and I'm just out here living my life. I'm just a life liver. I'm not afraid to live. I'm not afraid to take risks. I'm not afraid to try things. I'm fearless in that way and you know, it might be looked at as bad. I don't look at it as bad because honestly this experience has brought me to the best place in my life right now. So the risk that I took actually may have been worth it in a weird weird sick way. Oh my God. All right. So I remember he literally called my best friend y'all and he was like, you know, we are all adults. She and I have met we love each other. We're we're we're two people who are the same. We want the same things in life. We have the same goals aspirations. He said I just don't see the need in waiting. We don't need to date forever. I don't want to hang on to planning something that we can we can make happen later on down the line. What we need to do now is just lock up each other in and it sounded so good. I sound horrible the way I'm saying it but if y'all would have heard it like the way this man talks the presentation. The verbiage the act so profound like he could have fooled any damn body. I'm talking about because my best friend is like somebody who is not easily persuaded, you know, so she was just like, all right. Well, you know, pray for you pray about it. If you happy, I'm happy. That's it. Next red flag the way other people viewed him this person had a bad reputation very early on even the week we went to get married. I remember he said to me that one of the people he worked with in the studio didn't like him every time that she saw him. She would say you're so toxic. All of your relationships are toxic. Everyone talks about you. You're just so toxic. She was a an alcoholic artist at the studio. He worked at in he thought it was so funny and he was saying it in a jokingly manner, you know, and that wasn't the only person there were many stories that he shared where he let me know he is not the most liked person in the world. Most people probably want him dead from childhood to adulthood from neighbors to strangers like reputation is bad everywhere that everywhere I'd be surprised if his face wasn't plastered in certain places like wanted, you know, which leads to the next red flag the criminal record the criminal past every relationship prior to me has had some type of domestic violence involves red flag most definitely a red flag and that's something that I discovered after I went to jail when we were already legally married when I got out of jail. I was like, who did I marry? I thought this was a sweet guy. I thought this was a good man. What the hell is this? So I had to figure out more and I learned a little bit more and he used to always tell on himself too. So he would always talk about probation issues and prior cases, but he typically made it seem like he was the victim. Or, you know, the person did something that caused him to react in that way. They cheated. He caught these girls with other men. That was his story all the time. Definitely a red flag next red flag was how he made sure that I always knew that all his relationships were bad except maybe one or two that he regret because they really cut him off red flag. There were one or two women that he talked about that he will never forget now that I know that he's a narcissist. These are women that were good to him that he abused and damaged and they don't, you know, they don't love him the way they used to anymore and he cannot seem to let them go and he used to talk about how almost every other relationship just was just really bad. It was it was always cheating involved. It was always them making him feel insignificant insecure. It was always him being abused. He told me he was in a relationship where he was always accused of doing things that he was not doing and that came out every time he projected things on me and then I would tell him how it affected me and then he would break down and say I'm sorry. I did it to you. This was done to me. So I know it doesn't feel good to you red flag. The next red flag is how he kept warning me about his mother and how he felt she damaged him. I won't get too deep into that but he definitely made it a point for me to know that him and his mother did not have the kind of relationship That he would have wanted and it played a major role in why he was the way he was and why he felt the way he felt about women. He's never seen women do good to men. He's never seen love red flag red mother effing flag. Next red flag is how he never had anything positive to say about his own family members. Never not even really his own kids. The only family member. He had something good to say about was his grandmother who basically raised and took care of him. But knowing what I know the narcissistic chain is just a generational thing. Whatever he perceived as love from that person was definitely not love but everything he had to say about even her sometimes was not the most positive. It was all always confirmation of why he was the monster that he was. Red flags all day. I know at this point you're probably like girl. I can't even keep up. I don't know. I was counting me too. The next red flag is the fact that he had more than one baby mother to have one child to maybe but to find out this person had potentially seven eight children all of them probably with different mothers. That's beyond the red flag. And it was like after I got married every month. It was more and more. It's like dang. It's another baby somewhere. Dang. You got another wait. What? Wait, what the red flags? Y'all the red flags are so red. It don't make no sense. So the next red flag is how dysfunctional all his kids situations were none of them really had a healthy life because they had him as a dad and he wasn't even really involved. And their mothers were just gonna leave it right there. The next red flag is how he did not have healthy relationships with any of his children's mothers. None of them. No, they didn't like them and they all just use them for whatever he had whatever he can give and I'm pretty sure that involved sex every now and then because that's how sick he and they are. The next red flag is how he always had money issues. It was always some kind of chaos. There was always a reason why he was broke. There was also there was always a reason why money was held up. Somebody always promising him some money that they never fell through it. I slowly learned that this person basically begs for a living. Like the title that he hides behind as a career is definitely fake because there were no benefits that came from it. The little that did come he selfishly spend it on himself spend it on things that he couldn't even keep and maintain. So it was like he never had anything and that brings me to the next red flag because not only did he ever not have anything but he always had some kind of plan or a new plan and it was always impulsive. Behaviors were so impulsive. We could have planned to do something with money one day the next day. I'd wake up and the plans will completely change and then the next day it would completely change again. This person bought a in-home studio four or five six times within six months. That's a lot of money to be blown and wasted for no reason. Impulsive ridiculous behaviors always have a new crazy drastic big idea plan that wasn't going nowhere. So that brings me to my next red flag. Nothing made this person happy. Nothing. No matter how much money he was given how much money he spent no matter what was bought what was given it didn't matter. There was no satisfaction not sex nothing. Nothing and that brings me to my next red flag talking about sex early on in the relationship. The first time we had sex. I remember after we finished. He rolled over on the other side of the bed and he noticed that I was like, okay, this is weird. So then he turned to me and he said do you want me to cuddle with you? And I was like, I mean, you don't have to be like, I mean, do you want me to cuddle with you? And I was like, I mean, no, he was like, all right. I'm just asking because I know I'm probably supposed to do that and I was like, this is really weird. Okay. All right. Okay. All right. Okay. Next next next red flag. Not only was it awkwardly with sex but he never slept and not only did he never sleep. He was always away when I was sleep. I would always go to sleep first. He was never around when I was going to sleep where he was though somewhere in the bathroom. So we're in the other room probably watching porn texting other supplies looking for new supply and just being a nasty damn narcissist another red flag. I have it's how he made me change my number in my iCloud. He made me get a whole new phone service when we got married. He said he did not trust me having contact with anybody. I've known all my life. I could be interacting with him. He didn't trust that he has trust issues. He was not having that and I had a whole business connected to my number and I have a history of not even having a stable number. That was a number that I had finally had for about two years and this demon made me change my number. That was a red freaking flag. My next red flag is how mad he was when I would not change my last name legally when we were married. I was taking too long for his liking. It was taking me too long to go down to the Social Security office update my social to his name. It was taking too long to update my license to his name, but I was already caught on to what was happening. By the time I signed that paperwork and married him by the time the red flags hit about number five. I was unsettled in my spirit and I knew that this was going somewhere South. So I never was going to do that and he felt that and that is why for me in my situation a new supply came along very early and a new supply got put pulled in very deeply because this narcissist knew that I was too strong for him from the beginning. It's it's funny how we met and it's funny how he thought I was a fool and it's funny how he quickly learned that I was not his fool or nobody's fool. Oh my God, this brings me to I think this is my last red flag. I think we're on number 21 you guys how he broke down and confessed how wicked he's been in the past. This was a major red flag for me. This happened more than once it happened before we got married and right after we got married and it happened every time the most drastic thing would happen. It's now something that I know is like his way of just, you know, programming me to accept his behavior as someone who just has trauma someone who just needs help someone who's just broken after all of these red flags what I've learned more now and what I see more clearly now is when I met him all of these red flags and all this stuff was happening because this person was going through narcissistic mortification. A lot of times we are running into narcissists who are who are going through their narcissistic collapse in life. And and here we are entering into their world at that time not knowing they're going through that and were these empaths were coming in and we're not noticing that this is a narcissist who carries a lot of shame from mistakes made in their past all this fear of not being enough all this fear of being criticized. All this fear of not making it a lot of them hate themselves so much. They're very suicidal. They're very suicidal the impulsive behaviors, you know, the depression there. They're super depressed. They're super depressed the gaslighting the mental breakdowns the anger the outburst of rage the smearing of people's names and reputations the harmful behaviors the false accusations. That is all signs of a collapsing narcissist and a lot of us we get love bombed by narcissists while they're going through that phase because they just left one situation. That's why in so many ways we became the new supply. We're not the same level of supply, but we became the new supply because they're running from one situation to you. They're running from hundreds of situations to you. And so people might say, you know, why do you ignore the red flag? Hey, if you're an empath and they're a narcissist, you're like a magnet this this person is collapsing in life because they're a narcissist. They're miserable. They're living their Karma when they ran into you. So by the time they run into you here, you are this fountain of love. This you now met this empty vessel, but you don't even know that this is something something that you'll never be able to feel you're a fountain of love. You've met an empty vessel a broken vessel. You start pouring into it, but there's so many holes hell. It's just cracked completely. So you're pouring into something that you're never making a difference in or difference with that's why the relationship just doesn't grow. It doesn't get better. It gets worse and worse and worse. It falls apart as an impact. You love to build people up. This is what the narcissist craves. This is what they need from us. And they're so good at making us feel needed. That's why they love bomb us. And when we're busy trying to fulfill someone's needs, we're not seeing red flags the way that we should until it becomes too much because a narcissist in an empath is a match made in hell. It can't work because true empaths are rare. If you're lucky to find an empath in your life, especially for a narcissist, that's like running into an angel. Absolutely. Because nobody devotes their time their love. And their efforts like an empath nurturing patient. Extremely caring extremely compassionate. We accept all the rejects. Well guys, there you have it. 21 red flags early on in that narcissistic relationship and I know you agree that those red flags were real red. Let's talk about it. Share those comments with me. Share your thoughts like the video and make sure to subscribe if you're new to the channel. Thank you so much for tuning in today and listening to me talk about these red flags. Be very aware y'all because it's real. If you're interested in a free interview to expose your story to the world about what you went through with a narcissist book your free interview by hitting that link below in the description box. See you next time beautiful people. Take care. Stay true.