Your Paycheck Is Making Someone Else Rich: 4 Steps to Build Your Own Wealth

There's a question almost nobody has ever asked you out loud, and it is the one that actually decides whether you're free. Not what do you make, but what are you worth? The difference between making a lot of money and actually being worth something. If you have ever said, I made good money and I still feel behind, this conversation is for you. Here's what I believed for most of my 20s. If the paycheck got bigger, the wealth would show up behind it on its own. your income tells you what passes through your hands, your net worth tells you what stays a payment is your income converting into someone else's asset but that payment is your hard work a piece of your first number leaves your account and becomes wealth on somebody else's balance sheet everything i have watched failed on sequences not on effort i'm giving you your number the four places that gap opens up in a working person's life and the exact order you close them in. Go find out what you are actually worth. Stewardship is the foundation of wealth building. It's not just about having a lot of money and being wealthy, but it's about having and experiencing freedom. My name is Anthony O'Neill, and you're watching The Table with your boy, Al Can you imagine what it would feel like to wake up tomorrow morning and not worry about anything around money not because you won the lottery not because you suddenly became rich but because you finally had a plan with structure and a plan that gave you more margin peace and confidence that's what exactly financial freedom really feels like and this is exactly why i wrote my brand new book Stop Living Paycheck to Paycheck because if you're ready to stop surviving and start building the life you and your family and your loved ones actually deserve i need you to go to anthonyoneal.com forward slash book and order your copy today as a matter of fact order two copies one for you and one for your loved ones again that's anthonyoneal.com forward slash book and i promise you if you read it and apply it within the next 12 to 18 months you're gonna see fruit from just you reading let me ask you something uh that no one's probably never asked you out loud and forgive me today because man, I have been on tour. So my body is tired, but I refuse to skip through today's episode. The question I want to ask you that I've been asking people lately is what are you worth? Not, not how much money do you make? Not, not what does your paycheck say? I'm asking you, what are you worth? What are you and your spouse worth? What is your last name worth? You can answer the first one right now. You could probably say to the dollar, I make X amount of dollars a year, but most people cannot answer the second question at all. And the distance between how fast you answered those two questions is the whole reason a good salary and a real net worth are not the same thing. I know the distance personally. I remember making $100,000 a year and had nothing left by the end of the month. Literally, I would get paid when I was making six figures, my very first six-figure job, get paid on the 15th, and no later than the 26th, I was broke. So here is what we're gonna be doing today on today's episode. I'm gonna be giving you your second number in the next three minutes. Then the four places, that gap opens up in a working person's life, and the order, you need to be closing them. That's what we're talking about today. Let me let me say this or put like this. Let me say what is true about a pay rate, because here's the truth. Income does matter. And anyone who tells you your salary is irrelevant has never tried to build something on thirty two thousand dollars a year, period. But here is what I but here's what I believed for most of my 20s. and a lot of you believe it too even today that if the paycheck got bigger if the paycheck got big enough the wealth will show up behind it on its own if I could just get to six figures if I can just get to making a hundred two hundred thousand dollars a year the rest of it will take care of itself and that is the belief I gotta take apart today that is the belief that kept me stuck for a while. That is the belief that when I was making $20,000 a month, I was broke by the next one. Because here's the truth. I don't know if we can put this on the screen, put this in the comments, take a screenshot of this, but your income tells you what passes through your hands. Your net worth tells you what stayed. I'm going to say that one more time. Your income is going to tell me about yourself, how much money you made, but your net worth tells me how much stayed, how much margin you had and how you were using your margin and here's how you can run it here's how you can run it i need you to add up everything on your own checking savings retirement accounts what your car would sell for today and your home if you actually own a home then watch this then add up everything you owe credit cards car loans student loans yes your mortgage anything finance anything that you owe money to. IRS. Watch this. Child support. Subtract the second one from the first. Family. That's your number. Family. That is what you are worth. Some of you are going to run that. Some of it, actually, a lot of us are going to come out to the negative. And I got you. I need you to stay with me because that is not a cause for alarm. That is the most common result in the united states of america and i have personally lived it i'm gonna say it one more time and and and and and i want you to notice how you feel when you do it because the first number you knew instantly it's printed on your paychecks up when you get it on friday it's it's sitting inside your account sometimes on friday you'll see it for a split second but that second number you gotta go digging for that number your job does not put it on your offer letter the whole world is is is built to ask you what you make and never once ask you what you kept. We're in 2026 and let me just go there. I'm going to say this again. I'm not a relationship coach. I'm only speaking from experience, but in dating, we want to ask what's your credit score and how much money do you make? When those are the two questions I really don't give a crap about. I'm going to tell you two questions that I would love to get to eventually within dating. How much are you worth and how much do you tie you see because we've never once asked how much you've kept never once asked how much you're worth and that is how a person works 20 years watches the first number climb the entire time and never notices the second one has not moved you've never noticed that your net worth has evolved stayed the same or gone down why because we're not trained to think about net worth we're trained to think about how much money we make and what's our credit score does he or she have an 800 credit score and does he or she make at least 80 100 000 a year if they got those two things i'm happy you can have an 800 credit score making 150,000 a year and be worth nothing let me let me let me start at the top people who already have a big second because what happens to them tells you what the number is for. Wait, we ain't going to start at the bottom today. Now, let me go to the top. Currently today, there are roughly 24 million, I said it correctly, 24 million millionaire households in America. Only about 6 million of them have a 1 million, I would say, have 1 million they can actually touch investments, retirement accounts, cash. So, wait, wait, wait. 24 million Anthony, but you said there's only roughly what six so Anthony that's leaving out about 18 million people absolutely so what about those other 18 million huh they are millionaires inside a building they sleep in let's sit right there i want to see if you can understand what i'm saying before i even break that down they're a millionaire inside a building they're sleeping in no let me say this up front i believe in in home ownership i am a homeowner owning your home bought responsibly is one of the strongest wealth building tools an everyday american can honestly do that does not change it will not change but a house you live in does not pay you it charges you the roof the water the heater taxes the insurance that climbs every year whether you ask for it or not the number on the appraisal is real and it does not put one dollar in your account on the first of the month so so so watch what happens to somebody in that group they're worth 1.2 million then the transmission goes out and they are putting four thousand dollars on a credit card at 22.4 percent interest because there is a uh uh there there's 1.2 million sitting in the walls of the home and six hundred dollars sitting in the bank you're living in a million dollar house but you only got $500. That changes how you look at your own second number. You see, I believe this. It is not a scoreboard. It is a measure of whether you own anything that works for you, anything. You can have a paid off house and 90 days before you cannot make the payment or anything else. You can look like the most successful person on your street and be one emergency away from starting all the way over. What makes you free is not the size of the number, it's how much of it can show up when you need it, when you need it. So run yours in two parts, the total and what part can you actually touch today? Go run it. If you go over to anthonyoneill.com, there's a free wealth calculator on there. It'll take you maybe about two minutes. The link is going to be inside of today's show description. Now, the rest of today's episode is going to land a little differently when you actually know your number. every single day, I'm asking myself questions. How am I evolving my net worth, not my income? How am I building my margin, not my income? Before you invest a single dollar, build a business, or chase any goal, there's one thing that has to be true first. You have to be consumer debt free. Most people try to build wealth before they even know where their money's actually going. They have no budget. They have no plan, aka they have no strategy. Just consumer debt piling up in the background while life keeps moving forward. That's why I built In The Black, the app that gives you a daily money coach in your pocket. It walks you through my five-phase escape plan, builds you a zero-based budget, and tells you exactly, watch this, exactly what to do with your money every single day. Not every month, not every week, but every single day when you wake up. You see, this isn't just theory. It's the same process that has helped over a hundred thousand families get out of debt. Real people like yourself are paying off thousands of dollars using this app. One guided step at a time. All you gotta do is go to anthonyoneill.com forward slash app right now. Take a two minute quiz and please be honest and get your personalized plan. Fix your foundation first, then go build whatever's next. Go to anthonyoneill.com forward slash app and let's get back to today's show this is something that i'm teaching my students at Virginia Union University like yo i don't want you to really more so worry about your income income is important but the most important number is margin because margin builds your network now let's have a conversation about let's talk about my car you see when i was homeless in oceanside california in my early 20s i slept in a 1987 nissan maxima that could not go in reverse i had two 12s and a thousand watt amp in the back of that joint it was five years later i was making a hundred thousand dollars selling nissans and i was driving a brand new nissan maxima right off the lot i don't think i think it just got off the truck and i bought it two days later watch this same badge same car about five to ten years apart i said about five years apart stuck both times i want you to sit with that because it took me years to really understand this. The car changed, but the plan did not. I upgraded the thing everybody could see. Watch this. And never touched the thing nobody could see. When I think about that, I get so frustrated with the younger, immature self of me because here is why the 26 kept arriving early. I got paid on the 15. By the 26, there was nothing left. 11 days of a paycheck, but I still had 19 days left before my next paycheck. And a large part of the reason was sitting in my driveway with a payment attached to it. Nobody, when I was younger, ever explained to me what a payment actually is. No one. I want this on the screen some kind of way, team. We can put this up there. I want y'all to, I really want you to understand this, what I'm about to say, because what I'm about to say is it is going to offend some of you. It's going to hurt some of your feelings. But when I realized this for myself, I changed my whole life. I'm going to say it slowly. Ed, I want this on the screen. People, I want this on the screen. I'm going to say it again. Do not edit this out of the show. A payment is your income converting into somebody else's asset. I'm going to say that one more time. Let me say this. Christian people, forgive me. I'm so grateful I'm not a pastor. I love the Lord with everything on inside of me. But look at the hell that you're going through. You look good, smell good, pulling up good. Brothers, the lady's looking at you like, dang, but that payment is your income that you work Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, some days, Saturday and Sunday. You're busting your rear end for it. But that payment is your hard work converting into someone else's easy asset. Every month, a piece of your first number leaves your account and becomes wealth on somebody else's balance sheet they don't even know your name they don't really even give a crap about you you pay for the privilege of using it and at the end you own a fraction of what you put in that's why i don't finance my cars anymore and i am not going to soften that today i do not believe in consumer debt i am purchasing used cars with cash and and and and and man i'm sitting on my own cash i got i got i got i got people i don't really call them friends but i got people who like to brag yeah i got the latest and the greatest black while you bragging about the latest and the greatest i'm sorry if y'all watching this on youtube um um um but you sitting there bragging about the latest and the greatest now here's what you're bragging about i'm bragging because my payment my income i just gave to someone else for an asset and we gotta stop saying i'm buying a car so i can write it off for taxes you i can come up with some better ways you can use your money to not be someone else's asset to where it can really be your asset no you bought the car because you want to flex you bought the car because you want to pull up and you want valet to leave your car in the front so you financed it so so you went and did your thing because you want to flex without a real strategy you see i purchased cars specifically used cars with cash because i want my income to rise and i need my expenses to stay flat four thousand dollars and ten thousand dollars and higher. The car came after the money, not before it. I haven't purchased my exotic cars, my exotic luxury cars, because I want to sit here and flex. I have them. You know what I'm saying? I got the real, real expensive cars, but my income went up. I kept my expenses low. I was talking to one of my frat brothers the other day. I said, bro, here's what I love, that if everything shut down today. I can get in my luxury cars and I could be either two things can happen. I could be the dopest looking broke man on the planet, or I could take my cars and I could sell them and I can get three, $400,000 for them. Listen, I really want you to understand what I just said right there. I really want you to think about that every time you finance something, that your income is supposed to be a tool for you and your family. It's not supposed to be an asset for someone else's family who don't give a crap about your lifestyle so if you're in a car loan right now listening to me in the car i am not asking you to feel bad because heck i financed one too and mine was actually brand new which was even worse y'all i'm sorry to say this stop stop bragging about you bought a brand new 2026 2027 vehicle because to us mature people we understand that That was dumb from a financial, from finance, like, bro, I'd rather you brag about you financed a three-year-old car where all the depreciation is pretty much gone. Lie to the world, lie to it. I'm sorry, but let me ask you this question. Do you see what keeps happening? Every one of these in the same mood, the first number goes up and then something quietly attaches itself to it. And so the second one never gets fed. We keep eating at the second number, which again, don't forget the second number is our network. when are we going to start having conversations with our children about net worth? When is the last time you sat down with your 15-year-old son, your 10-year-old son, your 18-year-old son, and you asked them the question, what's your net worth? When is the last time you asked your son, your daughter that, and they said, net worth? What do you mean? Get the daggone phone up out their hand. I don't give a crap about what TikTok is saying. And start educating our children to start thinking differently before they leave your home. Everybody thinks more income is the answer. I thought more income was the answer. I went and I got more income. And by the end of the month, I was broke. Let me take you to Oceanside, California. You see, every Friday, a group of us went to the beach to play volleyball. Every single Friday. All of our cars were clean. Everybody was looking good. And everyone looked like we were doing well financially. You see, one night, you've heard me tell this story. One of my friends, he asked me for $5 to go to McDonald's. This is the same friend that was driving a Range Rover sitting on 24, specifically spinning wheels 24. But the same man who asked me for $5, who was driving a Range Rover sitting on 24 wheels, is the same man that was also living with his mom in her basement. And I want to be honest about what happened next, because the easy version of this story is to make me the smart one in the parking lot. But I was not. I looked around at all of us, myself included, nice cars, but all was living with our parents and grandparents. Nobody really had anything. I was doing the same thing he was doing in a slightly cheaper package. But that was the night I knew I had to change my life financially. Not because I was better than anybody standing there, because I really wasn't, because I finally saw that I was honestly one of them. And here is what was happening to all of us. When your income goes up and your lifestyle goes up right behind it, your second dollar does not move a dollar. You felt the raise for about six weeks. Then the apartment got nicer and the car got nicer. Maybe your kids needed a nicer daycare and you landed in the same place with a bigger number on your offer letter and the same empty account at the end of the month. That is why just make more money is the most expensive advice and in personal finance. It is incomplete. More income with the same habits builds a more expensive version of the life you are trying to lead. Now, somebody watching this is 45 years old, has been working since they were 19, and just did the math and realized 26 years of work is not sitting anywhere they can point to. The years were not wasted. You never were just taught the right information. See, I have the honor of teaching consumer economics at Virginia Union. My students arrive at 19, and most of them have already worked several jobs, and they do not know what a high yield savings account is. They do not even know what interest means. Listen, the very first day of class, I write one word on the board, and it's called margin. And to this day, 90% of the students do not know what margin means when it comes to our finances. Think about what we tell them. You go to school, get a degree. The degree gets you what? A job or a career. The job or career gives you what? A paycheck. So you came all the way for a paycheck and nobody in that chain ever taught you what to do with what you were really needing? So let me give you the order because the order is the strategy. Everything I have watched failed, including my own 20s, failed on sequences, not on effort. So let me give you the order. I want to give you the order. First, you build margin. You see, margin is a gap. I'm going to play this. Margin is a gap between what comes in and what goes out and without it nothing else in this video is available to you you cannot buy anything that pays you with money you do not have left what i'm specifically saying here is we have to give our money direction before the month starts listen a budget is not punishment it it is it is you deciding where the money goes instead of finding out after so many videos and I've seen so many interviews like, you know, budgeting is not enough. I never said budgeting is enough, but budgeting is the foundation. Budgeting is very, very important. Here's the second thing. You build your freedom number. Your freedom number is the beginning number of three to six months of your net pay, your take-home pay, the number that actually hits your account. I'm not talking about three to six months of essentials. No, no, no. Over here, I want you to have three to six months of your net pay. And here's why. An essential only cushion means that during the most consequential stretch of your working life, you are living a stripped down, a stripped down version of your life. A person living scared makes what? Scared decisions. They take the first offer that comes in. They take the first opportunity that comes in. That is a shorter leash. That's not really freedom. And you already know this number. It is one number of a direct deposit. You can do this in 10 seconds at a red light. I make $5,000 a month. I need to put $15,000 up. And then the third one, y'all, you've got to kill your consumer debt. I talk about this inside of my brand new book, Stop Living Paycheck to Paycheck. You got to go after that smallest balance first, every single time, and then just gradually work your way out there. I know some of y'all about to bring up the interest rate. You got a credit card with 26% and a card with 11%, and the math says go after the 26%. Okay, I hear you. But I only teach the debt snowball method because I need to get quick wins. The moment we can get quick wins, that is the moment. That is the moment we feel excited because here's what I've learned. A plan you quit returns 0%. It does not matter what rate it was aimed at. So you clear the smallest one and it disappears completely. And when you see that win, you're going to be excited. And here's the fourth and only fourth you buy things that pay. Now the margin has somewhere to go. retirement accounts, index funds, ETFs, a home bought responsibly when you are ready for it. This is where everybody wants to start. And starting here while you're carrying unnecessary high cost consumer debt, that's how people stay busy for a decade without moving. And here's what my doctoral work keeps confirming. Winning with money in America takes a system you actually follow and the system is not attractive there is no hoping your way into it that people who get free ran a unglamorous unsexy boring plan in order for years while it was just extremely boring if you want to get that plan go to anthonyoneal.com forward slash book or just go to amazon i think amazon at the time of me recording this the book is on sale for 19 bucks man we made it into the top 100 business and money books. It was absolutely amazing. But family, I want you to start asking yourself two times a year, what's my net worth? When we do that, things change. Start educating your kids. What's your net worth? Peers, people around my same age, start asking your parents, what's your net worth? Because at the end of the day, it is the net worth that is going to provide a lifestyle for us when we get older. And if you're in your 20s and 30s and 40s, and you're not thinking about your 50s, 60s, and 70s, I feel sorry for you. I was talking to one of my young friends. He's mid-30s, and he out there wilding. He look good, live in a house just as big as me, got a beautiful car just as nice as me, doesn't even make half of my income. But every time he pull up to my house, he got a beautiful young lady with him. Well, yesterday, he came to the house without a lady. And I said, bro, just make sure that the decisions you're making today, your mature 55, 65 year old self will say thank you. Because there are some decisions that I made in my thirties around relationships, around business, around money that man, my 55 year old self is not going to like. So my 40 year old self is trying to make better decisions to make sure that my 55 and 65 year old self will say thank you. Two times a year I'm asking myself, what is my net worth? I'm gonna end today's show with this question: what's your net worth? maybe you can't answer it, be able to answer it next show, see you next one