10 Hilarious Cold Opens from ‘Friends’

I'm telling you, Ross, she wants you. She barely knows me. We just live in the same building. Any contact? She lent me an egg once. You're in! Oh, right. Hey, Ross. Hey! Ross, you gotta get back in the game here, okay? The Rachel thing's not happening. Your ex-wife's a lesbian. I don't think we need a third. Excuse me, can we get an egg over here, still in the shell? Thanks. An egg? Yeah, you're gonna go up to her and say, Here's your egg back. I'm returning your egg. I think it's winning. I think it's insane. She'll love it. Thank you. Thank you. Here. Go with the egg, my friend. Think it'll work? No way. It's suicide. The man's got an egg. Mom, would you relax? That was ten blocks from here, and the woman was walking alone at night. I would never do that. Stop worrying. This is a safe street. This is a safe building. There's nothing... I'm gonna get a pot. It's not for you. Family Circus. Gentle comedy. Yeah, I'm looking for Phoebe. Does she still live here? Uh, no, she doesn't, but I can get a message to her. Great. Uh, just tell her her husband stopped by. Her what? That girl totally winked at me. Did not wink at you. Going through some changes. Well, the vet seems to think that she's becoming a rooster. We're getting a second opinion. Listen, uh, can you do me a favor? I forgot the PIN number to my ATM card. Okay, can you get it for me? Uh, I scratched it on the ATM machine down on the corner. That's it. Thanks, Phoebe. Dr. Chandler? Is that Joey? Let me talk to him. No, which is a big mistake because it is real. Real. I've been trying to apologize to him all week. If he's not going to let me do it on the phone, I'm going to go down there, I'm going to do it in person. Uh, Pheebs, I heard that. Can you put him on? Yeah. Hey, don't come out here. No, I support you 100%, and I want to prove that to you in person. I got that. I forgive you. Don't come out here. Forgive me? You haven't been taking my calls for a week. Well, I'm totally over it, Chandler. Friends forever. Don't come out here. Would you mind doing a picture with us? What was that? Uh, entertainment tonight. Good talking to you, Ann. Don't come out here. All right. Since I'm moving out and you're so beautiful, um, well, that would be great, but then what do we do about Denise? Who's Denise? My roommate. You have a roommate? Yes, Denise. Denise. Hey, what is with the secrecy, Phoebe? Huh? And what about this Denise? Is she cute? Please understand, how can you have a roommate that none of us know about? Maybe because you never listen to anything that I say. I talk about her all the time. Denise! Hey, Grace, listen. I was thinking, uh, I'm gonna have an extra room over at my place. Oh, that's true. Yeah, why don't you move in with me? It'll be great. We can, like, stay up late talking and watch movies and, you know, about Naked Thursdays, right? Yeah, yeah, I think I'm gonna find my own place. Hey, hey. I thought Naked Thursdays was just our thing, man. Hey, guys. Hey. So, what do you think? About what? Yeah, what? Are you kidding? Okay, I'll give you a hint. I'll give you a hint. No. Your eyes. No. Chandler's eyes. I got glasses. You always had glasses. No, I didn't. Are you sure? I used to have a pair. Really round and burgundy. You look kind of, um... Feminine. Yes. Sweetie, I think the glasses look great. They make you look really sexy. Really? Yeah. You didn't think I used to wear glasses, right? Of course. It's on the menu. my new sous chef you're monica's boss actually she's my boss sue is french for under ah i sue stand and a caesar salad and um could you give me the pesto yeah you you made pesto yes i did would you say your pesto is the besto i don't know but i would say it's pretty good oh i like your necklace i made it myself you are so talented well it's no pesto all right all right let's just Cut to the chase, okay? You're single, you're single. He gets off work at 11. She'll be waiting for your call. I'll give him your number if I could just get one calamari and one Caesar salad. I did not yell. I am not putting a dollar in the jar. Hey, can I borrow the Porsche? Okay. I'll rope you. But, uh, what is it not? A place to entertain my lady friends. And what else is it not? A place to eat spaghetti. Very good. Thanks. What do you need it for, anyway? Oh, uh, the, uh, Powerball lottery is up to 300 million, and they don't sell tickets here in New York, so... Oh, so you're driving up to Connecticut? Yeah, Connecticut, not West Virginia. Maybe I'll drive you up there. I'd like to buy some tickets myself. Yeah, with Chandler not getting paid, we could really use 300 million dollars. Yes, because if I was at my old job, we'd say, 300 million? No, thank you. You want me to get tickets, too? Yeah, me, too. Sure. Oh, I have an idea. Why don't we all pitch in 50 bucks? we'll pool our money together and then if we win we'll split it, no thanks, you don't want to win the lottery, uh sure i do, i also want to be king of my own country and find out what happened to Amelia Earhart, still on Amelia Earhart the woman just vanished, seriously Ross, you don't want in on this, no, do you know what your odds are of winning the lottery, i mean you have a better chance of being struck by lightning 42 times, yes but there's six of us so we'd only have to get struck by lightning seven times I like those odds, seriously you guys, I can't believe you spent $250 on the lottery I mean it's such a bunch of boo hockey, I'll ask who, hockey, oh oh we think Emma's about to start talking so we're trying to be careful about what words we use in front of her, yeah so get ready to hear a lot of boo hockey gosh darn it and brother pucker, you know she's gonna start talking. Well, when I talk to her, I almost feel like she understands what I'm saying. Kind of like Joey. What's that now? This cake is amazing. Oh my God, get a room. I would get a room with this cake. I think I could show this cake a good time. If you had to, what would you give up? Food or sex? Sex. Seriously, answer faster. Sorry, honey. No, when she said sex, I wasn't thinking about sex with you. It's like a giant hug. Ross, how about you? Which would you give up sex or food food okay how about um sex or dinosaurs oh my god it's like Sophie's choice how about you joe what would you give up sex or food i don't know it's too hard no you gotta pick one uh food no sex food sex food oh god i want both i want girls on bread