Part 3 (Final Part)- My experience with a Misogynist, Narcissistic, Dance Instructor #narcissist

Okay, y'all, here's part three, the last final part to my story about how I was targeted by a white male Brazilian teacher, a dance instructor. Remember, I told you I've been dancing Brazilian Zouk for over a year now. How he's been doing these tiny microaggressions, being, you know, covertly dismissive, invalidating me. um you know he goes out of his way to dance with asian women at the dance parties and he ignores you know the black women it's not just me he collectively has ignored uh the black female dancers in the community and this guy is considered a leader in in the Brazilian Zouk community okay so um his behavior has been clocked i want to wrap this story up right now um where i was with part two so where i left off in january i would say the first week of january i took my last class with him um basically we had a workshop and right after his dance workshop was a party right and i sat there again and watched these men white brazilian white men they broke their necks to get up to dance with all the other new new students i took a newcomer workshop and i was the only black woman in the class uh as soon as the class was over everybody jumped up to dance with the newcomers the newcomers were white girls and asian girls i sat there they skipped over me and yes i was the only black girl in in that particular workshop and i snapped i said you know what i'm going home i can't do this anymore i'm not about to start off my 2025 going to these ******* socials and being ignored i tried to hang in there in 2024 for eight straight months i went to these parties eight straight months different parties different locations in New York City supporting the Brazilian Zouk community I got snubbed a couple of guys would dance with me here and there it's usually the black brothers you know they have sympathy for me because they know ain't nobody else gonna ask me to dance the asians ain't gonna ask me to dance you know it might be one brazilian dude out of the blue once in a blue moon nine times out of ten I'm leaving the party early because I get snubbed so at that point early January I get up the courage to tell this male instructor the one that's giving me issues the microaggressions and all of that invalidating me I tell him I I give him a very detailed text message because remember he offered his phone number y'all if y'all watch part two after I made an announcement that I'm autistic he wants to offer me his phone number. He's he's been dodging me on Facebook Messenger. So now he wants to answer his Facebook messages and offer me his phone number. I'm like, you don't have to offer me your phone number. We can just communicate here. But OK, I give him, you know, a text back from my number. He starts to communicate. Now he wants to be nice, offer to dance with me after skipping over the last six months, dance with Asian girls. I'm like, no, he's just dance with me out of pity he feels obligated now because I announced that I have autism I still decline because I don't dance with people that are ******* disingenuous I feel like if he really wanted to dance with me as a teacher and a student welcoming me welcoming me into the community he would have did it on his own period it wouldn't have taken him to feel guilty that I'm autistic or anything he was he would have just really wanted to connect with me as a student teacher and to keep encouraging me to come back to the parties you know to keep practicing but i all those eight months i sat back and watched him break his neck to dance with the asian girls all the asian students that were in the beginner classes with me he did not hesitate to dance with the asian girls honey and rub it in my face and other black women's faces so january 2025 my last class with him i text him confidentiality a very detailed text i said i'm tired of being alienated as a black girl standing on the wall i'm tired of you know this behavior i said where are all the black people why is there low participation by black people you know i'm gonna start taking private sessions and stay away from the parties because i'm tired of dealing with this so i get no response from him he's considered a leader of the community so i'm expecting for him to follow up and say something you know say something like chanel i'm so sorry you feel that way we definitely don't want to lose you as a dancer we want to encourage you to keep coming back if you have any suggestions you know we'll work together you know for a solution i wanted him to say something i was hoping he would be mature enough to follow up with something to encourage me to keep trying and not not to be discouraged honey when i say he ignored the ******* text message i said cool i don't know he thought I was going to keep chasing and keep texting. That was it for me. I was one and done. So I remember I told y'all for the Christmas holidays, um, right before Christmas, I gave him a gift card and I gave his two female assistants, you know, he has two women that assist him in the dance classes. I gave them gift cards, holiday gift cards, just to show my appreciation. I spoke to one of the girls, uh, right before Christmas. And I said, I got you a gift card. thank you for helping me in class i left the gift cards with him when you get a chance go pick it up she said oh i'm out of town i'll be back in mid-january but thank you so much for it thank you that was that fast forward to january like i was telling y'all in part two um there was a huge dance convention in New York City, it uh was salsa, bachata, kizomba and Brazilian Zouk, so it had all All these people meet up from all over at this giant dance convention. I think it was at the Hilton in Midtown, New York City. So I went. The tickets were like $250, but I went. So I get my wristband. You need a wristband to enter the party, enter the dance floor and all that. So the dance assistant, the woman who I gave the gift card to, one of them, she was guarding the door. She was doing, you know, checking for wristbands at the door. this is the same one that i had the conversation with at christmas time and i told her i gave her a gift card and i thanked her for helping me okay so fast forward to february this is the same woman she's now working the door at this giant uh dance convention i get to the motherfucking door i'm holding my my backpack in one hand and the backpack is covering my wristband so she wasn't able to see the wristband, right? She approaches me with her arms folded with a very serious fucked up face. And she says, where's your wristband? No, she pointed, she said, where's your wristband? And I said, who the **** is she talking to like that? So I had to drop my backpack and show her I'm wearing my wristband. Are you trying to insinuate that I'm trying to get in without paying this? Anyway, she turned her back, walked away and went and go sit down with her friends she didn't say hi chanel how are you thank you for the gift card since i last spoke to her she was so nasty at the door and this is a white brazilian woman and i was just like what the **** did he have a conversation with her and talk ---- about me where is this energy coming from nonetheless y'all let's fast forward to may which was last month i go to a big dance convention in Toronto Canada they just had a Zouk convention I didn't see this dude for five months remember since January I see him in Canada last month in person three different times he approaches me and makes small talk oh by the way he hugs me he hugs me real tight to press up against my chest by the way he says hey I hope you have a great time in Toronto there's a lot of great classes There's lots of small talk, but he makes no mention of welcoming, welcoming me back to New York to come back to the socials. Hey, we miss you. You know, you always have, you know, the door is open for you when you're ready to come back. I thought this ************ would say something encouraging since I've been away for five months, haven't been to no parties. And he knows how I feel about the racial stuff. I brought it to him and I wanted him to take it serious. he still would not talk about it he did not encourage me when i saw him last month in person this time but he want to hug up on me press up against my chest and hug me tight and how you been and no mention of chanel we miss you come back keep you know the door is open don't be discouraged nothing y'all nothing so i said this ************ is either a racist or a misogynist because why is he still ignoring the race issue why won't he invite me back and mind you I have taken private sessions with his female dance partner over the last four months and he must have said something to her because during our private sessions she's trying to encourage me to come back to the dances I said why is she trying to encourage me instead of him I didn't bring the problem to her this is none of her business but he put her up to trying to get me to come back to the to the party he was being a chicken ---- i said so why is he hugging me in person pressing up on my chest but he don't want to invite me back to the party i said no this is love bombing we're starting the trauma bond you know being nice to pull me back in just to abuse me again and i'm not falling for it i'm done okay so y'all let me know y'all opinion you know what type of games this ************ is playing but i'm not playing