JoJo and Jordan’s Relationship Ups and Downs | Engaged

What's going on guys? Hi guys, we are back. So you guys saw our love story unfold on tv, you watched us, it was a fairy tale for us but when the cameras shut off and our season ended that's when things got real for us. Really real. And we haven't really shared, haven't shared it at all. We want to kind of take you guys through what that was like for us and um just share what we went through. All of it. Right now. Where do I begin? Um I guess technically when the cameras turned off for us on that final day was after our engagement. You know we were on a tv show where you're literally living a fantasy. You're taking helicopters on dates, you're doing um you know candlelit dinners in a vineyard and I was more excited about getting to normalcy. I just wanted normal life. I didn't want all that. I just wanted to to be us outside of a show. If that makes sense. Yeah we're not a big like crazy extravagant anything so normalcy was great but. I almost was excited about finding having imperfect moments with you. Yeah. You know what I mean? We had some imperfect moments. Okay I know but I was just talking about like you know going to dinner and them having them messing up his his meal and us you know chuckling about it and like I just was excited for that. Did I just say chuckling? I don't know. I just said chuckling. Wow I have not said chuckling I don't think ever in my life so it's the first. It works. Chuckling. I don't think the real difficulties began until after the final rose when. That's when life really starts. Yeah that's when really because that's when you guys found out that I was Jordan. So that's really when things kind of blew up for us and we didn't really know how to prepare for that. You know we woke up the next morning we were on a red-eye flight to New York um to do like a press day um and so that was a whirlwind in general because we had never done that together and then the week following we went to Nashville. We're packing up his house. I was moving to Dallas. We're trying to deal with everything the backlash the good the bad that everybody is talking about our relationship while we're still in the midst of learning about each other and meshing our lives. And I think was it right after that the first big like tabloid came out that was. Yeah. This is while we're supposed to be moving into a new home together in Dallas. Supposed to be happy and we just got engaged. That was probably the most trying time for our entire relationship. Those those times when kind of we're packing everything up and I mean very honestly like are we doing the right thing? I don't I don't know if I always shared with you like how it made me feel because I think that there was a part of me that was like scared that he would get mad at me. Yeah let's be honest we're in a young relationship and we know this now sitting here but it was tough to share these things because it ended up being a fight. A huge we didn't know how to communicate with each other and our feelings are both getting hurt because there's tabloids about me and so I'm getting defensive and hurt and then I'm like well why are you believing that? And we're just getting to know each other so a lot of times unfortunately I think we kind of held in those feelings. Yeah. And that and that to be honest is terrible. I didn't mean to cut you off. No go for it. See how much better I'm getting at communicating um I think I lost my train of thought what were you saying? About holding things in. Yes which the idea of being so kind of scared to express ourselves was actually one of the most detrimental things we could have done to our relationship and we didn't know that at the time but what played out afterwards because of that um got tough. You're scared that at a grocery store if you show that oh my gosh we're in a disagreement like every couple has we're so scared to have those moments in public where people thought maybe everything wasn't perfect so it was about a year after getting engaged that we felt like we turned the corner and we were just starting to have a relationship. And don't don't get us wrong we had a really like a really amazing moment in that year. Absolutely. Um but I think what was the most frightening for maybe the both of us was those really high highs and then seeing it go down into those low lows and and just seeing how it was that it started to scare me into thinking this is an unstable relationship and just so that y'all know it's like you're probably sitting there wondering like what was it that you were fighting about and I don't obviously the tabloids and the rumors and that was constant like once we got over one a week later a new one came out and so it was just one after the other that I felt like we never really caught a break. Really all of the tabloids really all of them talked about you just cheating on me. I remember one that like I think we were at a point where we were trying to just let them fall off and brush off and ignore them and then there was a tabloid article that said I was currently on a dating website. Yeah I remember. And there was like screenshots and stuff like that. That was a big moment I remember this. And so I reached out to the person that created that. It was Raya. Yeah it was Raya and which I had been on years ago and so I reached out to really the creator of the app to get their tech team to prove that it was false but like it doesn't matter the damage is already done and so you can try to prove and validate every accusation but at the end of the day I think we just had to come together and be like either that trust is there and it's always earned and we continue to earn it but you have to have that trust and it has to be stronger than anything that's being hurled at you. Oh yeah I remember that. I mean it was not easy. I remember just feeling so sick to my stomach like I think you said it all just snowballed and then I think that there was a point where we started to almost feel like a sense of resentment. We were so scared of what are what would our families think? What would our followers think? What do our friends think if we open up to them about all these struggles? Like I don't know how guys are but I know for me anytime I had trouble with relationships in my past I'd be able to call you know my girlfriend and talk to her call my mom or which I don't know if it's always a good idea calling the family but I've learned but I would have people to talk to about it and that's how I flush out those feelings when we got together. I think we both like you said we're so scared of just having judgment passed on us. Yeah but we put ourselves on islands where we didn't have anybody to talk to and we were just learning how to communicate with each other. I remember like to a fault I would in an argument I would just kind of like walk away because I'm stubborn and sometimes I'm I'm not the first one to take that step. Very rarely the first one to take that step and that is so bad and so I'm so glad we're coming so much further and being able to talk to each other and communicate in a manner that every couple every relationship learns but we were just kind of thrust into something full speed and trying to catch up along the way in the midst of and crazy. Yeah I felt like every week it was something new that we were butting heads on and we weren't able to communicate and you're probably wondering how we got through it you're probably wondering how we got through that hard year. Like you can't even talk about this moment there was this one moment where we had had our ups and our downs and we've had fights and we've had makeups and we've had you know you know all the promises that we would change or work on things and nothing I think ever was truly heard but there was a moment where we got to the end and I think it was a really like it wasn't an angry moment it wasn't a resentful moment I think it was more we both were just sad. I have this very vivid memory of us getting into an argument. I remember getting in my car and driving around my neighborhood just because I felt like I needed just a moment to myself and I remember just starting to cry while I was in the car you know I was so sad and thinking like I want to be able to pick up my phone right now call my best friend and just talk to her like I felt so tired of holding all those feelings in and didn't. I was nervous I was scared I didn't want her to only hear me talk about those negative moments that was a moment that I remember just feeling really down and sad about not not being able to openly discuss these things. I remember that moment very vividly yeah because I think we both realized in that moment that like we need to we need to work on us together. Well really that was a thing it was like you know not having your family not having your friends and then feeling like you don't have each other um you feel so alone you know you feel alone and feeling alone is never a good feeling so gosh I turned the car around I drove back home and I walked up to Jordan and I just said listen I feel alone right now and I need you and I need us um and that I think I guess not having anyone led me back to you and and got us to talk again and communicate. I'm like so glad that we were able to get through it but like it was hard it was really hard. I hate seeing you cry. I'm emotional. We calmly just sat down and just said we need to talk we need to talk and I need to be heard and you need to be heard and we don't need to be angry like let's just talk about this and I think it was like that moment in your relationship where you realize there's two paths and we can decide together if we want to do this or if I mean at that point it was sad we're like is have we tried everything we can is are we just better to stop trying and to go our separate ways and that was like that was heavy. So heavy. We were in a relationship that was somewhat new still and it was so hard like I mean that was the crutch we'd say oh but yeah nobody has to go through this kind of stuff that we're going through because the media and the spotlight and what people think our relationship should be and finally we just said none of that matters like either you and me are going to decide we're going to do this together or we don't and I think in that moment it there was no resentment no anger no anything it was just like we want this and we want to work at it and we've been through hopefully the worst that it will ever be and that's that moment that we chose to do that and I think since that moment it's been different in that moment during that talk I saw you really just really like what you wanted to hear me and you were you you cared so I don't know how to explain it guys like he cared so much and same for me but we were hearing each other for the first time instead of trying to hear what we were saying if any of you are struggling maybe with what we struggled with that first year if you're in a place in your relationship where you guys love each other and you want to fight for it and you and you don't want to give up I would just encourage you to have that really hard conversation that no couple wants to have where it gets raw it gets real and I can't tell you how glad I am that we didn't give up in that moment that we thought we could have walked one of two ways because that would have been easy right I mean that's what everyone expects everyone expects that these relationships from the bachelor and bachelorette are quick and they're over there's a facade to them and it fizzle fizzles away and that's not what we wanted that's not who we were we didn't make that decision at the end of the show just to do it for a few months we made that decision to do it for a lifetime and so it takes work and it takes a lot of work and I'll say to guys out there as well never be afraid to seek help and in our situation it was tough we didn't have it was tough to talk to family and friends and so I'm not afraid to say I went and spoke to a therapist because I needed a non-biased voice to talk to bounce things off and really just like learn about myself like why do I do this why do I not like that why do I not communicate how my mind says I should or I want to and so you just learn about yourself so never ever feel like you're too macho or too much of a man to just say you know what I need to talk to somebody that can just listen right because sometimes when you're in a new relationship or you're learning about someone it's tough to take criticism or it's tough to take advice from them because usually that occurs in the heat of an argument and it's never the best place so it's never a problem or it doesn't make you weak to go talk to somebody and figure things out it was the best thing that I could have done I learned so much about myself and I think I'm better in our relationship because of that yeah I think that that was also a moment where I looked at you and I was I just respected you so much to have wanted to do that and if you're in a bad relationship and you are being disrespected um that's a different situation that is it that is a different thing if you feel like you know you I hate even saying this word but if you're being verbally abused if you're being you know disrespected to that point I'm not sitting here and telling you to fight for that relationship right that is not what I'm saying um that wasn't what our issue was you know we just had to work out those kinks and yes we did have arguments but I don't want anyone here to think that oh like they they should stay in a bad relationship because that is not what we're saying at all so we want to be just very clear on that guys this this is real life this is a relationship it's not always what you see on instagram it's not always what you saw on the tv show yes we have high the highest of highs but every relationship has its ups and downs and that's what we're here to share this is really my first first time being vulnerable about these kind of things and we want to let you in on why we're here yeah why our relationship is the best that it's ever been and it takes work and that's something we're not afraid to say and not afraid to share with you guys definitely like we didn't live a fairy tale life when we first got off the show um it's not always going to be smooth you will also probably see us disagree on things throughout the course of all these episodes um like the fact that right now he's not eating cheese and I crave pizza on the daily and he really throws a wedge in what I want for dinner um so yeah you're gonna see us disagree but we want to take you along we want to share things with you we want to know what you guys are going through we really want this show in general to be really interactive and we want to engage with you as much as we can so if you have anything going on in your life if you need advice if you have a relationship question we've probably been through it yeah we can help we we want to talk to you so if you have anything you want to talk to us about please comment down below let us know what's going on in your head and subscribe and we'll keep this thing rolling we will see you guys next time