Love Advice from JoJo and Jordan | Engaged

Start us out. It's your turn. Lay down, lay down, lay down, down, down, down, down, down, down, down, this way. Did you get him? Did you? He's fine. What's going on guys? So we've been doing this, if I can't do this with him staring at me, we've been doing this for a few months now. My favorite part, probably yours too, is reading all your guys' comments. And a lot of you've been asking for advice, which, that's a little scary. Um, but we're going to do our best. Keep in mind, we are not licensed professionals. That's, that's the fine print at the bottom. Please remember that. But we do love you and we want to give us a shot. We're having like a group therapy session. I think we need a name for it. I love that. Let's, what is it called? How about Mr. Roger's Neighborhood? It's like a neighborhood of people that kind of getting together, like singing songs and giving advice. What about Joe Knows Best? Is that, is that because my name starts with J? Joe, the Joe's Knows. What the Joe's Knows. I like that. Here we go. Bam. My toes are a little cold. I got a pedicure yesterday. Anyways, I broke my nail completely. This is totally off topic. Yesterday I was cleaning and I broke my nail. Yeah, it was a thing. My nail broke fully in half. Are you sure? Was there blood? Was there really blood? I swear to you there was blood. I would not FaceTime you. Okay, let's get focused. This is actually good for us too, because we don't really talk about this. And I'm actually very interested to hear about like your dating experience before us, because I don't know a ton about it. Fire away. Okay. So this is from arianela94 and she said, I have tried and tried with a relationship after relationship and it never seems to stick. What's some advice for a struggling single girl dating in this hookup culture of Tinder and what's FWBs mean? FW, well that shows our age. Um, friends with benefits. Yeah. I never, I never did a dating app. I did obviously the bachelor, which is like the greatest dating pool of all time. You have experience with dating apps. How was that for you though? Honestly, I'm going to say I had a really positive experience only because I think it's a great, in this day and age, it's a great way to meet a ton of different people. And if you, the more people you meet, the more dates you go on. I think the more you realize what actually works for you, what doesn't, what kind of people you're into. I mean, the more you can experience, I'm not saying sexually, I'm just saying the more you can experience dating people, relationships, getting to know people. I think you find out more of what actually works for you. I feel like we sometimes put so much pressure on what we want to happen. I'm this age, you know, my five-year plan, I'm nowhere near it. Focus on yourself, find a hobby, hang out with your girlfriend, spend time with your family. Those qualities and also like not needing a relationship, I think personally, is so attractive to the opposite sex and guys will see that. They'll see you having fun with your girlfriends, being independent, you know, succeeding in your career and your job. And that's what attracts them, in my opinion. Uh, Hilly Jilly, do you guys ever get tired of each other and feel like you need space? How do you give each other space and enjoy personal me time? Do you ever get sick of me? You know what I think by nature of what we do and us being busy, I think we do get very good personal individual time and maybe working. And so I think that actually, I feel like that makes our relationship stronger. Me time is great, but also you should find somebody that when you're around, it gives you energy when you, and you want to be around. So like, yeah, I love, I love going and playing golf with my buddies when I have that opportunity. But like what gives me the most like good energy and I guess what focuses me and grounds me the most is being with you. So you got to have a good balance of that. I'll be honest, all my relationships before Jordan, I was the needy one. But I also think it was because I was with guys that they always wanted to be, have guys nice. And they always want to do everything with other guys. And it was kind of like, this isn't the relationship I want, right? I'm in a relationship now where it's like, I'm so secure in our relationship. I don't have to feel attached to you to feel close to you, if that makes sense. But I do think me time is so important because I do feel like in those last relationships, I did lose myself, right? You get sometimes girls, especially they get so invested in, you know, their relationships or with their partners that they forget to spend that time with their girlfriends and nurture their friendships. And so when you break up with that guy, cause you might, uh, your friends may not be there anymore and you want to really make sure that you don't lose yourself in a relationship. You know what? The, the, the, the part we kind of skipped over, you get tired of, you know, you get a little annoyed sometimes. That's normal. Take five, go exercise, go do something and come back. Like that's normal. You just love me so much. You don't ever feel that. This is from at Jenna Missia. My boyfriend and I are going on two years together and the honeymoon phase has worn off. Yeah. It makes, it makes me sad, but I know we're just moving into a different phase in our relationship. Would you both describe your relationship as being out of the honeymoon phase? If so, how do you keep it fun and interesting? That is a great question. Gosh, I hope this is like on point with what you're thinking. Um, so the honeymoon phase that in my mind is it's almost like this unknown. In the relationship. And I think that's what gives you the excitement. Right? So in the beginning of a relationship, it's like you have the butterflies and it's super exciting because there's so many unknowns to your relationship. Like I know him front to back. So that sort of unknown, like exciting. So we're out of the honeymoon phase is what you're saying. Yes. But I think we're into a better phase in the sense that like, I still get so excited to see him and to do things with him and there's no one else that I'd rather do with, but our, for me, my, my love for you has grown so much deeper. So it's a different kind of love. And I think that that's totally okay. And when people say like, you know, that excitement and the butterflies were gone, maybe that does fade, but it should transition into something greater and deeper and, and just more, I think valuable. I don't know how to describe that. I think to me, I'm going to be falling in love with a different Jojo over the course of our life. Whether it's a few years at a time, whether it's a decade at a time. So the honeymoon phase for me was our initial attraction. Your personality was so contagious. Our conversations were so engaging. And then as you get into real life, let's say that out of the honeymoon stage, I started falling in love with who you were as a daughter, who you were as a sister. That part of it was so attractive. So I fell in love with a different layer of you and then seeing you working hard at what you do business-wise, I started falling in love with that determination that you have. You may be out of the honeymoon phase, which is the exciting part of, Oh my gosh, I'm so attracted to this guy. What's he going to do when he kisses me? Like all that stuff is great. That'll give you the butterflies. When you start to develop those deeper roots, you're going to fall in love with a different person as they evolve. That's what's exciting to me is I'm going to get to fall in love with who you are as a mother, which I don't know that person entirely yet. So that'll be a new occult, what you want, a honeymoon phase, whatever. It is like if you're in the right relationship, that person is going to evolve over the next 60 years. She's going to be old and wrinkly someday. So physically, she's definitely going to evolve, definitely going to evolve physically. It's good to know that when you're in the right relationship, you get deeper. You start to have honeymoon phases about other aspects of this person. I love that. That's a really great answer. Handles are tough, guys. So if we butcher these, we apologize. We're going to go with, what is he, an MMA fighter or is it Benoit Emma? I think it's her last name and first name. OK. Best way to handle finding out your ex has moved on. It's like I knew it would happen, but I surely didn't expect it to be so soon. Makes me question the reason he gave me when we broke up versus the real reason. Just confused, I guess. I guess. Help. So I have seen this with friends, with family members, and I have two takes. I mean, you'll never know why that person moved on. However, in my opinion, when someone moves on very quickly, it is painful and it hurts and it makes you feel like crap and you have so much anxiety of, what if I see them out together or how did he move on? But I think I think to consider and think about is maybe that person has to move on because they are unable to be alone. Right. And ultimately, that comes down to their own inability to be independent. And some people are just better at being in relationships because they don't know any other way. So they just relationship hop, right? It has nothing to do with the person they are with. It was they're searching for something that they're missing. Yeah. Or it could be. Yeah, they they broke up. I don't know who broke up with who, but if they were broken up with, if you broke up with them and then they found someone right after, they're probably just trying to get over you. You know that this is this is such a tough one. It is tough. It is so very hard to move on from a relationship, whether it's when you ended or not. It can be equally hard either way. But there's a reason there's a reason you're not with that person, whether it's what you chose because it wasn't fulfilling you or them. Either way, it was if they moved on. It wasn't meant to be. And if it is meant to be, it will come back. No, go for it. I'm just saying, like, also, let that almost like piss you off. Right. And I'm serious. If a guy you just invested all this time and love and energy in and and breaks up with you and moves on to someone else, that person didn't deserve you. I'm not crazy. No, I thought you were going there. That person doesn't deserve you. So change your mindset. Totally normal. After every breakup I've ever gone through, I have a very sad emotional playlist. I put it on and I sob because I need to just get it out. But then change that mindset. Change it. You know what? I'm better than this. I deserve more. I respect myself more. If he wants to move on with that person, that is OK. I'm going to focus on me and has nothing to do with. There is no greater weapon than joy. I think 100 no greater weapon than joy. And if you can find that separate from somebody, whether it's with other relationships, your friends, whatever it is, the greatest weapon, because he'll see you too. He'll see you happy. And that won't that won't be easy for him either. Yeah. Anya, have you ever had someone in your life who you are close with that was in a toxic relationship? What did you do? Did you tell them or did you just leave it? I've been on the other side of that. I've had a toxic relationship. Yeah. I had, you know, family members and friends trying to tell me that. How did you take that? It's weird because when you're in a toxic relationship, you don't think it's toxic. You may know that you have problems in your mind. You tell yourself, oh, you know, he's not really like that. It was just this circumstance or people don't get to see all the good. And you defend it. I had family members and my best friend be very vocal about it. And I think it takes so much courage to do that. And I didn't listen to them. Like I, I stayed in that relationship, but I kind of knew in the back of my mind I was always like, you know, my best friend doesn't care for him. My family members have these concerns looking back. I wish I would have listened to them if I was a friend, I think. And I truly felt like this was a toxic, unhealthy relationship. I think you tell them. I think you have to. I think to me, it's important how you tell them. When you approach that conversation, you have to communicate that you still have respect for them. Look, this is a toxic relationship. I don't think it's best for you. If if if this is what you want, I'm going to stand behind you. I'm not going to make it awkward. I'm not going to hate this person as long as it's something that you want. You have to not play both sides. But you have to make sure you're not drawing a firm line and say, if you stay with this person, like we're not friends anymore because that'll ruin a relationship. I'm trying to think back. Like, I know Catherine, my best friend. She, um. She had a girl. Catherine is very, very vocal. I remember one day she called me. She was like, I love you so much. And I have seen you through every relationship you've ever been in. This is not right. And I'm seeing it change you. And I'm seeing it take the joy out of your everyday life. And I remember trying to defend the guy that I was with. But there was always this very uncomfortable dynamic. Your best friends, your family members, the people that come to you. They're only telling you this because they love you so much because they want what's best for you. I think you have to you have to have that conversation from just a place of I want what's best for you. Let's talk through how you're feeling. I want you to open up to me. I think that's the best way to do it. I agree. All right, Julian, now this is a really good one. What do you do to get one another out of a bad mood? That's kind of tough because it depends on what mood I feel like. We said the other day when I said whenever Jordan's going to be in a bad mood or I'm in a bad mood, we should just make really ugly faces at each other. Yes, because it's just really funny. Like, you know what? Oh, me, me first. Oh, we done? Oh, I think I'm cramping my neck. We've done a whole bunch of really ugly faces. OK, that's just a silly thing. But it helps. It does help. Like if you can find humor in something, try it. Sometimes, and I've told you this before, sometimes I just need you to let me be like really frustrated just for a little bit so I can get that out. Whether it's I'm frustrated at being on hold or like my technology the last couple of days has been terrible. My iPad, everything's been breaking or disabling. I just want to be angry for a little bit to get that out. For me, I know when I'm in a bad mood or just like frustrated by something, what's comforting to me is just how supportive you are in those moments and how you don't have to say anything at all. Just like like that. And like, it's OK. Like, we'll figure it out. Take a deep breath. It's OK. So I think it's different for each person. Like for me, that's what helps me. For Jordan, when I see him get frustrated about things, I try to be like, hey, it's OK, like take a deep breath. But that sometimes frustrates you more because I'm basically telling him, hey, you're overreacting, it's not a big deal. And that's frustrating to you. So I think it's just knowing how the other person operates and what helps them. It's not something that we knew right away. I mean, it's still, it's still when he's in a bad mood, sometimes I'm like, I just need to back off. Take five. Take five. Especially when you're both frustrated. If you're both frustrated about something, look at each other. Take five. Oh, decompress. That's really ugly, though. Do it again. That's not even her ugliest. She's, she's, she's giving you a six out of ten right now. I've seen some pretty bad ones. Just don't even want to have that on film. OK, guys, we barely scratched the surface on all the advice questions. We did our best. Did our best. Make sure you guys comment below any other ones and make sure to subscribe.