You're Going To Lose Your Wife Over This!

Brought to you by the Everydollar app. Start budgeting for free today. Jay, welcome to the Ransey Show. Hey, good afternoon, Ken and George. Thank you so much for taking my call. Sure. Well, I got kind of a work-life balance question for you, and I'm wondering to try to get your input on it. Sure. Basically, I'm 43. I've worked multiple jobs my whole life, up to three jobs. My parents owned a local restaurant. I cooked that for 10-plus years and went to college, trade school, worked in the automotive industry. And when I graduated from high school, I actually started, and I currently own and operate my own mobile DJ service. So I worked three jobs, gone seven days a week. Me and my wife, when we got married, we were high school sweethearts, we got married. We made the joint decision that she would be home to raise our three boys, which she had done and did a great job with. Well, now, like I said, we're both 43. Now she wants me home a little bit more, and I'm finding myself struggling, you know, to try to find mentally and adjust myself to not work as hard or work as much as what I was doing. Like I said, we both own our own businesses. She works part-time. She pretty much picks her own hours. I'm gone pretty much all the weekends, 43 weekends a year. Doing what? I mean, I work a 40-hour-a-week job. With the mobile DJ stuff? So the mobile DJ? Yeah, yeah. So you have to hire some young blood to go out there and travel for you. Well, that's the problem. I do. I do have another crew that goes with me. To me, it's not work. It's a passion. I love it. Okay, so hold on a second. I work seven days a week. So are you still working three jobs or just the one? Mobile DJ on the weekends and the 40-hour job during the week? Yep. I'm a sales rep for a company in the Chicago area. Yep. So I do both of those. What kind of money are you making as a mobile DJ? How close to matching or overcoming your current day job? Over. I make more than what I do at my full-time job. I make roughly $105,000 a year DJing. I make about $93,000 with my sales job. So this begs the question, why aren't you knocking the 40-hour-a-week job off and more time with mama and doing what you love on the weekends? Well, health insurance. That's the biggest one. Yeah, health insurance. And it's bad. And my wife, she says it, too. I'm greedy. You know, why not make the money while I can? You're going to lose your wife? You want to lose your wife? You're going to lose your wife over this. No, I do right. And that's what she says to me. She's like, you know, not too many wives would want their husbands gone as much as you are. But I have not missed out on any of our family functions. We do have one. Stop, stop, stop. This is going to college. T.J., your wife wants you to slow down. Yes. She may have been agreeable, but I don't think she's going to continue to be agreeable. And this isn't good for you. And I'm going to suggest to you that there's more to it than greed. I think that's a cheap excuse for you as to why you're working all the time. I'm not trying to put you on the spot. I don't want to in any way attack you. There's something going on with you where you need to be busy all the time. And you've got your wife crying out gently saying, I want you here. I want us to have more time together. You've done a great job so far. You got your kids out. They're doing their thing. You're financially great. You've got this passion project, which is spending off more money than your day job. And I think there's something that you're running from. And I think the busier you are, the less you have to listen to it. Am I right or am I wrong? And I don't mind being wrong. No, you're absolutely right. I feel like I've got to be doing something all the time. I just can't sit down and relax. Yeah, but there's a reason for that. And you need to sit with a counselor and a therapist. And I'm not going to put you on the spot here, but I'm telling you, you're like the people who run all the time, ultra marathoners. They're running from something. They just are. I'm not attacking. No, no, no. Listen, some people are smiling in the booth. Listen, I'm telling you, if you're all the time, like every spare minute of your day, you're exercising or running, it's because you're trying to stay ahead of something as opposed to meeting it head on. And you've admitted this and your wife is crying out for you. You better listen. And I'm just going to tell you, you need to figure out why you want to be working all the time, because that's not natural, which means it's not healthy. Right. Nope, you're absolutely right. 100% right. So DJ, there's a few options here. Number one, you drop the DJ stuff. You choose the local gigs. Don't drop the DJ. He loves that. He loves it. But what if he could do the local ones and hire the team out and he still makes some money off of that? He can still choose. Yeah. Or you leave this full-time job. You just DJ and that's what you do in your home all week with your wife and you're gone on the weekends. Get healthy. But we can't continue doing all of this, multiple jobs, never at home. And your wife wondering, did I sign up to be single? The kids are gone. Now she's really feeling it. That's exactly what she said. Dude. That's a word for word of what exactly she said. Now, we only have one of our sons is in college and we're cash full on that. So he's going to college debt-free. And we have two other sons, one's a junior in high school and the other is in eighth grade. So we do have one- But it's even more important that you're in the home. I misunderstood. I thought all three were gone. Now it's even double important that you're there. And don't play the whole, I've met all their sporting events. It doesn't matter if you're not around the house or you're not there, you're setting a precedent and an example for your boys that it's okay to be checked out as long as you say you're working or you're busy. And that couldn't be further from the truth. And listen, I know that sounds tough. It's not. My heart's hurting for you and your wife. I'm glad you admitted it. I want you to go see a counselor. I'm going to challenge you. You need to be in a couple therapy sessions before 30 days is up and begin to dive in deep as to what's got you running so fast. What are you running from? Healing, health, everything's on the other side of that.