AnimChallenge Animation Feedback - "Star Wars" (May 2023)

[Music] all right for those who haven't seen this let's play this in full there is no sounds can make some cheesy sounds all right cool action towards the end and then at the end we have that there you go so looking at this there couple elements that I feel like we could push a little bit but overall it's very cool there's some cool moments in terms of the action I love this just because it reminds me of a shot that I did uh dead I star fighter Landing in Obi-Wan jumping out not that it's similar like this action happened over there whatever but it's it's this action that's so similar that's awesome starting off here I think when the first time I watched it I saw suddenly oh wait there's something flying there what is this and then we kind of lose it and I think we could make this potentially clear since we are here I don't know if that's something with the camera where maybe that ship comes from here and lands a bit closer so at this point we're just a bit closer could be something like that and then it slides past camera into that vanishing point and the reason why is that if we're closer so imagine we're here but we are just a tad let me go here tack closer you can imagine that at least for me sub actively I think it would have been cool to see the Stormtrooper potentially here fighting already and Grievous is there holding it and then you have that nice you know somewhat gray Grievous a bit darker and the and the white Stormtrooper has a full silhouette that way we immediately know something's going on there's a pilot we know there's something white in there and in that way it's already there you can have some flailing arms through really draw attention and that way this is a very clear moment then we kind of lose it after this and I think we could cheat this drop here by having the Stormtrooper fall this way I know it it's going to feel like it's kind of sideways on its left and then it falls in front of it visually to the right but I think there's a moment of we're going up here and then we land let me just go back back here this is at normal speed here see Stormtrooper and then gone and then there's a a a good amount of beat here nothing happening in the stor Trooper Falls not that it doesn't work but I think it would be worth exploring a bit of a cheat where that St Trooper falls through there as a as a connective tissue basically and then it lands and it can always fall a bit this way and it bounce off because the thing is here we are starting to stack things even if he of a slight tangent there and I think if that character would land and be around here you would have a really nice silhouette versus this kind of overlapping and then even here you could take these characters and bring them maybe over a little bit that way you have a clean separation of this is a group this is your main character the guy that just landed and so on because nothing else is happening in the shot so I think separating this into a a cleaner just kind of grouping would be interesting other than that let's go back here I look at the the ship physics and the bounce is a bit light I think that bounce it's again can work I will probably give this a heavier drop for this less of a bounce but you can always open the wings it's a lighter element than the main hall there and then you can have you know that weight will feel have you know just have a bigger impact of the drop and then you can have lighter pieces like this kind of open Flap if you want just a little bit jump is cool this gets a bit tricky silhouette wise this could be a moment where we potentially cheat maybe a bit lower something like that and some offsite of the arms gets a bit muddy here silhouette wise cool though cool rig it's cool to see that character again the drop is fine too again I don't mind like I said here like the bounciness here on the ship is not too bad just because this already has a slight cartooner feel just the way it drops you got smears here so it's not it's not bad it's not that it doesn't work but it could be a moment to play with then we got these guys shooting I think you can have a little bit of a not they do that but a slight flashes we really can see where this comes from and a slight recoil it's giving us a bit more action cu the thing is as this goes forward here there's a slight feel of wait did this guy just shoot the thing or not so again not that it's massively confusing but first viewing is where did it come from do we want to play this up a little bit either way I would have a little bit of recoil that is in the movie they have like you know little slat recoil in the the Blaster and then you can have the arms and the bodies a little bit amput up a little bit on this one yes it is somewhat a robotic but it's kind of organic robotic but it feels this is too for me robotic in the sense of pieces can move separately and rotate as the character does but this is almost a bit too much where I would have already like after frame or two broader movement in the chest just a bit but he going he's going up and then suddenly down so I think you can still have that upwards movement continuing and then into a drop so you have motion across the cut again to connect those shots a bit more and then for him to go who someone's is shooting at me he still has a pretty broad silhouette and I think if he's going down to like where I got to cover I will bring those arms down and in and like even like these pieces can come in like there's a moment of oh I'm too exposed let me go in assess situation I'm a smaller Target now my Silhouette smaller and then you go into into all of this I think for that action here I would add some Sparks so it's really clear what's going on but again when first viewing feels like oh I again this could also be the intention of go through and then suddenly we see this guy falling was he's that fast but it could be kind of fun to have some Sparks and hit some metal of the weapon here just kind of pushed his moment really showing the the uh like a clear death there also careful as you go into that last one that drop happens behind Grievous so you could also have a bit of a again that might be too much but imagine he slides through and then that pushes the Stormtrooper over and then drops here again for Clear silhouette that could be too cartoony but something to think about I think this you might as well push and go and really go high so this guy is down here you know legs are here and he's really dangling that's cool I love all this that's also cool I think you could potentially cheat this guy it's good composition but maybe just cheat him a little bit forward why so that when he drops and when we get to this is that we have potentially this gun a bit further there I don't know how far you can push this but that way we have just a clean Stormtrooper clean Grievous without that overlap here and then this one felt also a bit muddy like I'm not quite sure what he's doing here is he grabbing him feels like the hand on the throat and these train to get out of there and then he pulls them up and then throws him up here so this could be also maybe you could have a moment of that arm down here just for a moment and then you can see Grievous's arm and the claws around here so it's a very clear thing of oh that's what's going on and then the stor trooper's arm goes up into that pose again if it's just for a glimpse we want to just read quickly like what is going on here there's a lot of overlapping shapes there and then lastly I would say we have a throw where we feel like this is where it's going right and then suddenly we're stuck here you can see where that drawing is with some onion skinning we're kind of stuck here and then it drops versus a bit more of this and since we don't see Grievous at the end which also could be something where after that Grievous could stand and maybe might be weird to have him peek out there with his arms but it could be something or he exits here because he's off to some you know new Mission but I think you'd be okay throwing and having a proper Arc this way and then just pan to the left and then actually if we do this it's a royal Wii if you would do that imagine you can throw keep that proper Arc into this we pan over so that we're here exposing my background here but imagine that could be I mean we will lose the hand and stuff but imagine we would be maybe somewhere here no tangents trying to have no tangents there and then with a different tool you then have a continuation of this set right and then Grievous copy here so you actually could still see him at the end striking cool pose maybe bringing in the arms together getting to just a standing position like whatever you want to do there uh and then that's that and then you have the uh the end where we still see the character which that's the only other thing too is after all of this all the action bam and then that's it like there's no more there's no more grias unless I'm missing something but I don't see anything there um unless you to like jump up and he starts like like a spider scaring away this way could also be cool um but that's something to think about about the ending potentially yeah and that's that's kind of that for me so yeah thanks again for that submission it's awesome I love it cool action and that's it