Day 25👗 Become Elegant in 30 Days!

We are so happy that you all are here. Welcome back to your 30-day Elegance Boot Camp. We are up to day 25. For anybody new here, hi, I am Maggie. You know me as Maggie the Substitute Teacher from my cooking channel. I also love helping feminine women attract and keep the masculine men that they dream of. I'm all about food and femininity. Lucy and I are the founders of the Finishing School for the Modern Woman, where we love to teach women of all ages, help perfect their femininity, their elegance, and their etiquette. Enrollment is open. You can go to the link in the description, teachablemomentswithmaggie.com, and you can also use the coupon code BLACKFRIDAY for a limited time for a significant discount. Enrollment is open. So, Lucy, would you like to introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Lucy, and along with Maggie, I am the co-founder of the Finishing School for the Modern Woman. However, I do have a channel that mostly focuses on basic Spanish, maybe midpoint Spanish, not too advanced. And from time to time, I do add some content about femininity, elegance, and how the Western world has been sort of turned a little upside down with changing some of our feminine values and how it is hurting society right now. Absolutely. So, what we are doing as a way of giving back, Lucy and I have this series, we are winding down as your 30-day elegance boot camp. So, every day from November 1 through November 30, we are covering a different section from the book called Your Ultimate Elegance Guide. This is from Viviana Bena. She's also a content creator. Her channel is Woman of Elegance. Highly recommend that you all check her out and support her on any social platform. She actually has agreed to let us teach from her book. So, we're covering a section per day. We're up to day 25. If you would like your own copy of the book, the link is in the description. You can use the code ELEGANCE20 for 20% off your own copy of the book. It's a digital download. However, we have very generous donors in our community. And thank you, as always, to Brandon L. Jett. He has made this book available for all of our finishing school students. So, current and future, if you would like to join us, you would get your own copy. All right. So, we are going to, I'm going to share my screen and I am going to bring you all up to speed on what we've done. Then we're going to get right into your day 25. All right. So, this book has several sections and I'm actually quite happy that Viviana has started from the outside in. We are doing the inner work. So, I'll make sure this is quick, but you all can see here we started with your wardrobe and grooming. Then we talked about posture. Then we moved into how you speak as an elegant woman. Then we started the dining section. You all know I'm a fan of that. We talked about what to expect from everything from afternoon dinners to afternoon tea. And we are now in the relationship section, ladies. We are up to day 25 and we want to talk about being real. I love, love, love this content. It is so important that you don't lose yourself and don't show up as your representative, ladies. You want to show up as your authentic self. All right. So, I am going to show you all Vivian's book so you can see, and then we will pick up where we left off. All right, ladies. Let me make sure that I am sharing. Yes. So, this is Vivian and the book is called The Ultimate Elegance Guide. Again, it's a digital download. So, this is the book. Link is in the description. If you add these things to your daily work by day 30, you will be well on your way to becoming elegant. So, as you can see here, it gives you really good tangible tips because it's so much more than putting on a name, brand, dress. All right, ladies. So, let's pick up where we left off with day 25. But before we do, Lucy, would you like to add anything? I think today's topic is going to be really interesting because it's going to tell us a little bit of what we can show as our real selves and maybe what we shouldn't. All right. So, while Maggie takes care of the sound piece, I'm going to read a little bit of what Vivian says about being real. She says, don't be a fake online personality just to garner a large following. People who know you online might also know you offline. So, what she's trying to tell us there is you can pretend to be someone online, but the people that really truly know you may get into those comments and say, hey, we know you. We don't understand what you're saying because what you show in real life is different. So, the beauty about social media now is that people can bring receipts to show everyone who you truly are. So, instead of trying to pretend who you are, just be yourself. People are going to like you or not, whether you are yourself. Either way, you know, just be you. All right. So, let us, let me just pull this up. Okay, ladies. So, being real, Lucy said, don't be a fake online personality just to garner a large following. People who know you online might also like you offline. I absolutely love that. And ladies, we do live in this time of social media and using technology and all, even though we struggle stream. Technology is a great tool, but I think technology just enhances who you already are. And I really love when you think about, you know, human relationships that have existed for hundreds and thousands of years. You know, we were in these groups of communities, right? Whether you call it tribal or whatever it was, we didn't have the attention of hundreds and thousands and millions of people. So, it's almost like a weapon that can be used for good or it can be used for evil. I'd love to know what you all think about this in the chat, as far as don't be a fake online personality. Now, if we're being honest, of course, you know, when you are being seen, whether it's in person or whether it's virtually, we do kind of perform a little bit. I think that's to be expected. You want to present yourself. But if you, and for those of you all who have met me in person, this is really who I am. And I'm sure Lucy can't wait to meet you in person. We have a wonderful graduation dinner for our students planned in April of next year. So, if you'd like to be part of that, make sure you enroll in Finishing School for the Modern Woman. But whatever you think you are pretending to be, the truth is going to come out. So, you're only delaying the inevitable. And nobody expects you to be perfect. I don't think anybody real expects you to be perfect. We all have flaws. We all mess up, clearly. But just know that, especially in relationships, it's so much better to lead with your authentic self and let people know, okay, this is part of the whole package, than to try and pretend to be something and then the real you comes through and then people feel like they were told a lie. What would you say to that, Lucy? Anyway, it goes back about the piece about being trustworthy. People want to know that they are seeing the real person online, that if they find you outside and say hello to you, you're going to be the same person all along. It's a little scary to me to see somebody be someone online and then you go and meet them and they are completely a different person. It's really disappointing. I think again, it's really actually disheartening when you see someone that you think know online and through social media and then you meet them in person and they are just a totally different person. It creates this weird psychological thing on you. It's like, who am I meeting? Am I meeting the real person or is the real person online? So just try to be yourself. It doesn't take much to be yourself. That is, yeah. Okay, let's see what else Vivian says and I'd love to know what you all think in the chat. Vivian says, even if you are operating under a secret moniker, you may slip up, your cover may slip someday. Even in a faceless forum, let your opinion and posts be in line with who you really are. Now that's an interesting one. I mean, I've shared with you all who I am. For example, I have no problem saying my name is Margaret. You may even hear people call me Margaret. Maggie is my childhood nickname. We did talk, ladies, about being discreet and I do agree that being an elegant woman, there is some mystery about you. But one of the things that I learned in my etiquette training is that there's a difference between sharing something personal and sharing something private. For example, personal to me, you know, is my name is Margaret. Maggie is my childhood nickname. But private, I never really share intimate details like about my relationship or reveal anything that I don't want the whole world to know. I think when you decide to be a content creator or if you have a YouTube channel or an Instagram profile or whatnot, you are going to be sharing some personal things about you, right? Unless it's a business page and, you know, you're just sharing that you do like vacuum steam cleaning services, right? But if you share even things that are innocent like, you know, what I had for breakfast today or whatnot, people are always watching and they're always going to notice. And you either have to be okay with that or just don't do it. And there are some people that just don't do it and that's okay too. But ultimately, the spirit behind what Vivian is saying here is that even if you have like a nameless, faceless channel, still be true to who you actually are because there's no like ironclad protection. And ladies, when you do have a channel or social media that's a little bit hidden, which is totally fine, but there's something about, and I don't, I'm not an expert in human psychology, but there's a thing where people almost want to know more. In some ways, it can be a good thing. Like if you don't share everything, people are like, I wonder who she, you know, really is. So it does draw people towards you. But especially like what she said about if you are completely, completely different character online than who you are, it almost makes people want to like find those chinks in the armor and find a way to get at you. And like you say, people get, you know, doxed as they say and like, oh no, she's not that way at all. I think about that when I'm out and about, you know, sometimes people do see me and they, are you the lady with the cooking channel? Yes, I am that lady with the cooking channel because I really do cook and that is who I am. So hopefully you ladies understand what Vivian is saying here, but part of being an elegant woman, there is a red thread to your true character. And it's so heartwarming to me. I've shared with you all, you know, I just had my 30th high school reunion and people still remember, you know, that Maggie with that big smile and kind of silly and whatnot. Of course we can get better. I work really hard to refine it so I don't burst out, you know, all the time when it's not appropriate, but be true to who you are because people, people can tell you're not fooling anyone. What would you say to that, Lucy? I agree with you, Maggie. And with the social media thing is sometimes you got to think, especially if you have a social media presence, you're going to have people trying to shut you down or trying to cut your leg off by finding those, those really strange things about you, just to share because they don't have anything else to do. So you just have to be very careful about, you know, just be yourself. It doesn't take much, you know, it's, it's like, if you're lying, when you're lying, you're going to have to keep track of those lies. So the lie, so the other person won't know that you're lying. Why not just show your true self and those who like you will like you and those who won't, they won't. And that's okay. You are not everybody's cup of tea and it's okay. It's okay not to be liked. The end goes on to say, okay, even in a faceless forum, let your opinion and posts be in line with who you really are. So yes, if you're going to be comment in other people's live streams or YouTube content or Instagram and so forth, show your true self. I do see that there's a tendency to go along with everybody else. But if your opinion is somebody else's and not yours, you're not going to be able to back it up. If you're going to have a strong opinion, stand on your opinion and stay strong and say, this is how I feel. I see that you have a different point of view, but this is how I see things. And this is why. So I think that it's okay to have a different opinion and not follow the crowd. Because again, if you follow the crowd, you're going to be sometimes trampled instead of saying, I'm saying true to myself. And this is what I think. I love that. And I would love to know what you all think in the chat. We'll definitely love to hear your thoughts on that and being real. And ladies, there's no shame in being who you actually are. We all have pluses. We all have minuses clearly. We talk about this a little bit in the finishing school, you know, having that perfectionist character trait or dare I say, character flaw, and it can really cause anxiety. We all mess up. And I think when we embrace that, not that you're trying to be messy on purpose or not that you're trying to struggle, but when life happens and you really just own that, it actually shows like a human quality that endears people to you. One of the misconceptions that a lot of people have about elegance is that it's stuffy, is that you have to be perfect, is that you have to be some type of Stepford wife, but that's not it at all. You know, we're up to day 25. And those of you all that have been rocking with us, you know, you can put it in the chat. You have seen some things and we've messed up. We're still messing up. You know, we don't always get it right, but we always strive to show up as our best and who we actually are because you're not going to, you're not fooling anyone and you're not going to be able to sustain it, ladies. And it makes me think back to those earlier sections when we were talking about the grooming and the hair and the makeup. There are times, you know, I've had times when it's like, you know, a special occasion and you're going to get all dolled up. And, you know, I wore eyelashes for a day and had my face professionally done for a day and then got right back to this is who I am every day. And I think about that, you know, even Lucy and me doing this 30-day marathon with you all, you get to see us every day, which means this is really who we are and you see us in different forms. But if you are playing a character, then you can't be as spontaneous because you're like, oh, wait, let me get myself together. Right. Let me get myself perfect. I don't want anybody to see me, you know, this way or that way. And that's just really hard to do. And it makes people kind of retract because like Lucy said, they don't know which version of you that they're actually getting. So instead of people drawing in and being like, yeah, I remember when you, you know, burned the bacon or whatnot, and you have those memories and you can laugh about it, excuse me, you don't take offense to it. You're just like, yeah, I know. But you get back up and you try again or, oh man, I'm really working on that. I kind of let that four-letter word slip, but just admitting it and owning it. People want you to win. They want you to, to look good. Now, of course, there were always the, as the late great Kevin Samuels used to say, the haters and detractors, but you just let them stay where they are. It's a reflection of themselves and you just continue to be you, but be the best version of you. That's what we want you all to, to, to focus on. So put in the chat, what has been your biggest takeaway as we close this series out from any of the days so far? Anything else to add, Lucy? And it's interesting that you, that we're talking about this topic because I remember in my, I graduated with the major of vocational education. So what I mostly taught for, I don't know, 15 to 20 years was adult learners. And I can tell you that adults will challenge what you say, especially when you know that you're fibbing a little bit. I remember whenever I was teaching some product or I was showing a new concept, they would sit back and you would see this. And then they would go back and challenge you every step of the way, because they wanted to make sure that what you were telling them was true. So again, if you come into social media, you're going to have thousands of people trying to challenge what you're saying. And you know, you're going to have those coming back with receipts saying, this is not what you said five days ago. What's up? Why is this information so not connected? Are you this person? Are you that person? So again, being who you are takes away all that pressure from pretending to be somebody you're not. I love that. Thank you so much, Lucy. Well, you've all, this was day 25. This one was short and sweet, but we appreciate you being here with us for this series. So we are here for you all every night, 9 p.m. Eastern, 6 p.m. Pacific. So we'd love to know your takeaways and your feedback. Be confident in who you are. Be humble in who you are, but be true to who you are. So we're going to go ahead and wrap this one up. Let us know your thoughts in the chat or if you're watching the replay in the comments. Again, you can go to teachablemomentswithmaggie.com to learn everything about the finishing school and the code BLACKFRIDAY. We'll work for a limited time and we would love to teach you. So any closing words, Lucy? I think this was a great topic. All right, everyone. So we will see you on the next episode of your Elegance Bootcamp. Until then.