Day 24👗 Become Elegant in 30 Days!

All right, everybody. Come on in. Come on in. Welcome back to the Elegant Boot Camp. We are on day 24. So happy to have you all with us. Happy belated Thanksgiving. Happy Black Friday. We are on the homestretch. So happy that you all are here. For anybody new here, hi, I am Maggie. You may know me as Maggie the Substitute Teacher. I have a cooking channel. I am all about food and femininity. I love helping feminine women attract and keep the masculine men of their dreams. Lucy and I have founded the Finishing School for the Modern Woman. We are happy to start a new class in January. If you're interested in joining us, the link is in the description. This is an online finishing school for ladies of all ages. It's a Saturday school, and we teach femininity, elegance, and etiquette. If you would like to perfect those qualities, we would love to have you. Lucy, would you like to introduce yourself? Hi, I'm Lucy, and I have a channel that focuses mainly on teaching Spanish, basic Spanish to maybe midpoint Spanish. And then in between, sometimes I share content about femininity, elegance, and Western society and how it applies to anything women and femininity. Absolutely. All right, we see everybody coming in. We didn't know what to expect on the holiday, if it was going to be a ghost town, or I guess you guys have shopped until you dropped if you went out there. All right, so what are we doing? We're doing a lot. But for today, we are teaching you all in a series called the Elegance Bootcamp. We're teaching from a book called The Ultimate Elegance Guide. This is from Viviana Bena. She has a channel called Woman of Elegance. She's on YouTube, Facebook, and Instagram. Highly encourage you ladies to go check her out and support. She makes great content. I reached out to her to ask if we could teach from her book, which is The 30-Day Guide to Elegance, one subject per day. She's given us permission to do that. If you would like your own copy of the book, the link is in the description. You can use the code ELEGANCE20 to get 20% off the book. It is a digital download. All right, so we're going to do a lightning round of what we've done so far because we always have new people joining us. But this entire series is available for you on YouTube, Facebook, Twitch, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, and Spotify. We have a podcast for you ladies as well. All right, so let me see if I can share my struggle stream screen. There are several components of elegance, ladies. Vivian started from the outside in. The first section was dress and grooming, making sure all of those components are together so that you show up as an elegant woman. Then we moved into the conversation section and how you speak is a big part of your elegance journey. We spent several days talking about what to do and what not to do so that you show up as elegant. Then we moved into my favorite subject, the dining etiquette. Ladies, it's never about the food, but how you dine with others says a lot about your elegance and your femininity. All right, we don't want to be raised by wolves. And then section four, we started talking about relationships. You can be elegant in your relationship choices. We talked a lot about the selections that you make and what that says about you, things to do and not to do. Oh, we are here. Day 24 in the relationship section. We hope that every relationship has a happy ending, but we understand, ladies, that sometimes you have to, I want to say, know when to fold them, know when to hold them. Sorry, y'all. Know when to walk away and know when to run. He doesn't even say know when to leave. I thought know when to leave was in the song. Okay, sorry, y'all. I'm a little delirious. Okay, focus, Maggie. All right, so yes, sometimes you may have to exit with grace, and we are going to talk about that. So let me just show you all Vivian's book, and then we will get started. So this is the Ultimate Elegance Guide. You can see this is the beautiful Vivian here. The book, again, is The Ultimate Elegance Guide, Become Elegant in 30 Days, and what I love about this is that she gives you all of the sections, all of the tips. You can refer back to it because it's a lot, and you're not going to get it all the first time, and we're never going to be perfect at this. We can always get better, ladies, and I would be remiss if I did not thank one of our very generous sponsors. Brandon L. Jett has made this book available for all of our students in the finishing school, so if you want to join us, you will get your own personal copy. Lucy, would you like to add anything before we begin? Okay, I gotta tell you that Kenny Rogers was the only, what is it, cowboy music that I used, that I can listen to. Amazing voice, amazing, and in that song, I think it's The Gambler, right? Great song, yeah, but there's no when to leave in the lyrics. So let's go back to the content. So sorry about that. I got it. See, this is the thing. It's been so long since I've been in the kitchen. Those of you all who have seen my cooking struggle streams know that I have musical outbursts, and sometimes I don't know the lyrics, but I know the song, and you all know what I'm trying to remember, even if I get it wrong, okay? So just forgive me, but yes, Kenny Rogers, country music. He actually went to my church. I'm in the South. I'm in Atlanta, the Presbyterian church I was raised in. He attended First Presbyterian in Athens, Georgia. He has now since passed, but yes, him and Dolly Parton. Islands in the stream, that is what we are. Okay, you did not ask for that. I could go on and on. Don't threaten me with a good time. April is coming. Okay, we have news. I just made a reservation, y'all. Okay, you're hearing it here first. We are planning the first, I'll say it, annual Maggie Lou Meetup on Friday, April. I'm looking at my phone, y'all. Friday, April 5th, 2024. We are going to Eclipse de Luna, which is the Latin restaurant here in Atlanta. We have a reservation for a group. We're going to do tapas, which are small plates. We're going to have three rounds of like 10 different selections. Just the food just keeps coming. We're going to have drinks. There's going to be live music. I went there for a different occasion, and I did a dining documentary, and you all loved it. So we are having a Maggie Lou Meetup. If you all want to come to Atlanta, those of you all who want to get together, eat, drink, and be merry, save the date. I just got confirmation, so more to come. But Maggie Lou Meetup is coming. All right, now let's talk about breakups. Sorry, y'all. Okay, what are we talking about? Vivian, what does Vivian say? Let's see. Day 24, know when to leave. Know when to call a relationship off. A relationship that started out with lies, an abusive partner, a womanizer, a lazy man. When your relationship has gone sour beyond repair and nothing seems to work again, or maybe both of you are highly incompatible, it's time to say goodbye. Now this breaks my heart, ladies. I mean, we have a lot of fun here, but Lucy and I have shared with you that we are both divorcees. Lucy is remarried, happily remarried. I'm happily in a long-term relationship second time around. But we married young, and we're married 10, 12 years, and for different reasons, sometimes good people just don't belong together. Now Vivian gave really good examples of reasons, but this is a very personal decision. But ultimately, ladies, people say, well, life is too short to fill in the blank. Life is also too long to be miserable every day. And I love what she said about if nothing is working, meaning you've done the therapy, you've gotten counseling, you've talked to elders in your community, maybe you've taken a break. You've tried, and you just keep taking another lap around the mountain and ending at the same place. Sometimes the relationship does have to end. And for me, you know, it's heartbreaking. However, ladies, it doesn't have to be ugly. It doesn't have to be miserable. Take it from, you know, a divorced woman who, my ex-husband and I co-parent really well. I mean, we have a family meeting every week with the boys here, so they know they're not playing any games with either one of us. I say all the time, a lot of times the teachers don't even know we're divorced because we show up as a family unit. So just know that you can exit with grace. You can exit with class. You can say, you know, I'm heartbroken to say this, but I don't think there's a future for us or whatever the words are. You don't have to be mean. You don't have to be nasty because you never know. You chose that person for a reason. And so hopefully you leave having learned something and haven't gotten better. What would you add to that, Lucy? I agree. Divorces don't have to be so contentious. My divorce with my husband was because we had divergent values. He wanted children. I couldn't give him children. And then things started just crumbling after, you know, many times that we tried and we decided that maybe it was time to part ways. And again, he was really good. He set me up on making sure that I was okay to leave comfortably without any kind of mean intentions. He wanted me to be okay once we parted way. And I think that if you know that you're with a good character man, if things do not work, you better believe that he will make sure that he sets you off on your own, on your way to success. He will never want anything bad to happen once you make that decision. And unfortunately, it seems to me that women, some women want to take that divorce and make it into something like World War I, fighting for every item in the house, fighting for the children, fighting for all of the material stuff that, you know, in the end, material stuff, you can't take it with you anywhere. And when you die, all you're going to remember is either you were a good person or you were not. Yeah, I agree with that. And, you know, in pop culture now, in the news, it just seems like divorces, like the uglier, the more of a train wreck that it is, and the more people are fighting with each other. Ladies, be very careful to have an emotional response because you can win the battle. And I don't even like to say win the battle versus win the war. But my heart is saying, think long term. You know, my man always talks to me about, like, for example, Kevin Hart is remarried. His first wife, you know, they split for whatever reason. He makes sure she is still taken care of to this day because she carries herself in a way. He still respects her as the mother of his children. When you choose a good quality man, they're not going to want to see you suffer. Maybe the relationship didn't work out, but I'm a mom raising two boys. They're both bigger than me now. But now they actually live with their father because boys, all children need their father, but boys especially. And I've said, you know, on paper, you know, I have custody, but that doesn't matter. We signed the papers and we moved on and we worked out what works for us. And he gets the boys, you know, now they come to visit me because they're at that phase of life. And when they were younger and they were with me, he would come in and he would ask me in front of the boys, I have this plan for them, but mom, how have they been behaving? And the boys would be looking blinking fast and slow, like, oh, is she going to tell all of our business? So it's really important. When I say ladies prioritize relationships, it's not just the romantic relationship, but relationships with people in your life means so much. And you want to think about the long term because there were times when he told me, he was like, they give you any trouble, you just call me and I'll handle it in the garage. All right. And the boys are looking crazy. So, and this is my ex-husband. So ladies, you can definitely exit with grace and leave a situation better than you found it. Let's see what you all are saying in the chat. Thank you so much for being here, Gail at night, the number one moderator. We appreciate you being here. She was dancing with my Kenny Rogers renditions. Y'all are excited about the Maggie Lou meetup. We're very excited too. Hopefully you all will come to Atlanta. Lucy's going to come to Atlanta. We can't wait to eat, drink, and be merry. And Celine says all breakups don't have to be sour. Absolutely. Yes. I mean, if relationships end and it doesn't work out, that's totally fine. Totally fine. All right. So, all right, let's keep moving on. I know Celine, you've got a lot to say. Let's see what Vivian has to say. And you all let us know any breakup lessons that you want to share in the chat. Vivian says, when, if you're highly incompatible, it's time to say goodbye. Quit a bad relationship as soon as you can, or it becomes too late. You don't need a relationship to stay alive, but you need to be alive to stay in a relationship. Decide your next step wisely. Wow. You know, ladies, I understand sometimes there are very difficult situations, but ultimately we want you to win. We want what's best for you. We do believe that the overwhelming majority of relationships, they should be enjoyable. You should look forward to seeing each other and making memories and laughing and, you know, all the things that come along with that. But if you do find yourself in a bad situation, trust your gut. And, you know, we've shared over and over that you can't change anybody, you know, whether it's their, you know, life goals or the way they respond to stress. So if you're with someone who lashes out when they're under stress or drinks too much or does reckless behavior, there's nothing that you can do. And there's nothing that you should do to try and rescue, especially a man. You have to, I've said it before, and I'll say it again. A man chooses the life that he wants for himself. Your job as a woman, if you believe in traditional relationships, which is what we do, I realize that there are other kinds. You need to look at how he handles life and the ups and downs and decide if that is the leadership that you want to happily submit to. Do you want to hitch your wagon to that? Do you want to get on that program? However you say it, do you want to be a support system to that? Because you will be the feminine asset to his masculine brand. So choose wisely, ladies. You know, I don't believe that it takes a long time, but you also don't want to have, oh, we fell in love in these 90 days and then we're married. You really haven't seen them go through the ups and downs. And I'll say you need to vet your possible husband, just like he is vetting you because it is a very sober decision. What would you say to that, Lucy? I absolutely agree. And I also think that it's a good idea to take your possible future husband around your family because the men in the house will see if there are any behaviors that they, because men see things, you know, from everywhere, everywhere. So if they see a questionable behavior, they will let you know, and they will be part of your vetting process to let you know, well, maybe you should take it easy. Have you thought, have you seen him when he drinks? Have you seen him when he gets mad? Have you seen him, you know, is he respectful within the family? How is, how is he on a one-on-one with your dad, with your mom? Does he understand what it requires to be in a, in a, in a new family environment? Hi kosher clinician, uh, sorry, I haven't attended your, your live streams. You've been really busy. Um, just, you know, take a look at, you know, listen to what the men in the family tell you about that man that you bring to them because they are the best people to vet a possible love interest for you. I love that. So that's what Vivian says. I want to see what you all say in the chat. We got a lot of comments in here. I kind of want to respond to some of them. I see Celine in here sharing her experiences with us. She's talking about ghosting. Uh, I will say this when it comes to breakups, ladies, if you do need to leave, I'll take a step back. This whole elegance bootcamp that we've been talking about is really about the way that you show up. And we always say elegance is about simplicity and consideration for others, right? It's not about just putting that little black dress on and looking cute. How do you carry yourself in good times? How do you carry yourself in bad times? How do you carry yourself all of the time? So if you do need to make a difficult decision, and I've said it before, I can't remember what stream, ghosting or just kind of falling off the face of the earth. I don't think that's elegant at all. I think it is actually quite immature. If you chose to be in a relationship with someone, and for whatever reason, it's time to exit in part ways, this should be a conversation. And I would argue it needs to be a face-to-face conversation, ladies, in private. Whatever this foolishness is, that people are breaking up over text or breaking up in front of a group to humiliate a man or going to social media to air the dirty laundry, stop it. Not only is it not elegant, it is so disrespectful. And ladies, men are always watching not only the man that you have or the man that you want to have, his peers and other people. And then people are saying, oh, okay, that's how she carries herself when she has, you know, a big decision to make, stay away from her. I won't name any names, but you can see this in social media when certain celebrities or people try to drag each other through the mud, then it's like, okay, you had your 15 minutes of fame. Now you are radioactive because any man of character is looking at that and saying, yeah, no, she belongs to whatever. So just be mindful of that, ladies. No ghosting and none of this foolishness. Be, you know, stand, be confident and deliver a painful message, you know, with empathy. The other thing that I wanted to say about that as it goes along with the ghosting is, and don't shoot me down, but this is why I struggle with long distance relationships being real relationships. Ladies, I know there are times when work travel or whatnot may take you away for a certain amount of time, but you really don't know who you're dealing with until you see them in the day to day life. I do consults outside of the work that we do here. And oftentimes the mistake is when you start as a long distance relationship, every time you see each other, it's like a holiday. You've cleared your schedule. He's cleared his schedule. Everybody's excited to see each other. We're going to a destination. It's going to be fun. It's going to be like, you know, a getaway. That's great, but that's not the real world. And then a lot of times women, when they get put into the real world and it's just like, sometimes I'm moody, sometimes I'm cranky. Sometimes, you know, I've got a long list of things to do and I didn't, whatever it is, then your expectation was so high. What is now normal? You think something is wrong. And I have to tell ladies, no, nothing is wrong. This is what every day is like. So just be careful about that. Get as close to the real world as you can in the dating process. What would you say to that, Lucy? I agree. And also remember the ghosting thing. Feminine women, elegant women always take into consideration the other party. Ghosting is part of being, having that lack of consideration for the other person. So it's only honorable to make sure that you talk to the person and let them know that it's time to go your different ways. The only reason I would, the only one reason I would say maybe it's a smart thing to ghost someone is if that person has a tendency to be violent. So, you know, then you go into, you know, you know, choosing the wrong person, but I don't, there is no other reason why you should not talk to the other person and say, you know, this is not working out. You know, I care for you. I wish you the best, but it's time to, you know, part ways. Yes. I love that. And, you know, if ladies be safe at all times, if you need to have, you know, somebody with you just to make sure you're okay, or, you know, if you do need to do it, you know, in a park or something, we'll just, just be smart, but give them the benefit of the doubt of a conversation. And then if they don't get the hint, then you may need to take other means, but I would say start with being a class act first. What does Aaron Laura say? Be on his program or go elsewhere. Don't try and change his purpose. Hear ye, hear ye. If that is not the mic drop moment right now, ladies, we can't change them. Take it from, you know, a woman who was headstrong in her twenties. You couldn't tell me anything. I was going to change not only him, but I was going to change the world. Who am I? So yes, ladies, we, we often make that mistake because in our mind, if we've dreamt it up, that means it is so. A man is who he is. So choose wisely. Date someone that is the caliber of man that you could see as husband material, but that's still not a guarantee. You still have to work some things out, but you're not going to change him. The one above all says, I personally believe you need to see someone through all four seasons before knowing. I love this. I absolutely love this. I actually heard it before. I've heard someone say you need to exit before, you know, another year goes around, but yes, ladies dating. And I say exclusively dating for at least a year in person, I think is absolutely a prerequisite. I've heard some, you know, men say, oh, we're not together unless we're in person. And the other woman is like, oh, but we've been together for a year. No, you saw each other in these stolen moments when it's just not the same, but I love that about the four seasons, you know, winter, spring, summer, fall coming up on the holidays. It's a holidays time. For some of us, it's a very joyful time for some of us. It's a very sober time. So you need to see your potential husband or life partner. How does he handle all of that? You don't want to jump into it and then be blindsided. What would you say, Lucy? I agree. You want to see each other in the good times and the bad times. And even at the holidays, do you as a woman, are you generous? Do you think, do you put some thought into the gifts that you're going to give to maybe his in-laws or his possible, you know, his sister, his brother, and so forth? Because he's watching that too. And also take a look at, you know, how is he enjoying his time at the holidays? Does he have a, you know, is he depressed? Is he sad? Because maybe he lost a parent or, you know, mom or dad in the holidays. So are you going to have to comfort him? Are you okay comforting him, you know, as, you know, in this time of sorrow? So again, I truly believe that it is a good idea to see each other through the four seasons. Absolutely. We love the perspective of the men. Thank you so much, the one above all. Linda says, when it's total disrespect, it's a red flag. Absolutely, ladies. No, nobody should be disrespected or be disrespectful. No, I don't even have anything to add. Absolutely. If someone disrespects you, that's your sign. And yes, ghosting is absolutely rude. Yep. Thank you all for the support. Make sure you give an explanation. Big Ben says, when you say Gail's name three times, she shall appear. Yes, Gail is amazing on multiple channels. I will just add a little bit to this. Deserves an explanation. Ladies, you know, with discretion, you can say, you know, in a kind way that unfortunately, I don't see a future for us or whatnot. You can, if you want to give an explanation. I would say it depends on how long you've been together. I mean, what I'm getting at is, if you've made up your mind, you want to make sure that you communicate clearly that this is the end, because you don't want to get into, you know, the nitpicking and the unraveling. So you want to make sure that you button up your response and stand on what you want to say. Would you add anything to that, Lucy? Yes. And this, do not play games with his emotions. When you say it's over, it's over. Don't go back and forth, because that's a very immature way of dealing with relationships. And I see that with teenagers and in young women, they go back and forth, and they do this game about, no, I'm not with him. But then a week after, I'm with him. And then, oh, no, then he, you know, sold me this dream, and then I'm back with him. When you've decided that it's over, it should be over. There's no playing games. You know, you are too much of an honorable person to start going with the back and forth. It's not worth it. That is so true. I have never understood the concept of on again, off again. And you know, I'll share with you all, in my marriage, we never did the, you know, that's it. It's over. I'm divorcing you. I have heard of marriages where people, they break up, they fight, someone leaves, they're gone for two, three months at a time, they come back. I mean, like, it's just chaos. Ladies, that's not good. You don't want to live that way. Divorce is hard. But I can absolutely say with every fiber in my being, I tried everything. And I can leave with my head held high, not that I'm proud of it at all. But I gave my absolute best in that marriage. And you know, after 10 years, unfortunately, it did end. But sending those mixed signals and whatnot, it is just, it is so bad. And it's not good for you. You need to be a woman of your word, just like you expect a man to be. So playing those double-minded, double-messaged games, no, absolutely not. Which means be very serious. And don't do that threatening or the ultimatum, I'm going to leave you if I have seen women do that. And the men call their bluff and they're like, okay. And you're like, no, no, no, I was just, no, don't play those games. Real men do not play games, ladies. So be very, very sure about what you're doing. There was a comment here that I wanted to, we got the Clue Channel here saying Maggie Lou's in the house. Yes. Maggie Lou meetup, four, five, 24. All right. Atlanta, more to come, but I just got a reservation for us. We're having a Maggie Lou meetup. Y'all can come meet me and Lucy and eat, drink, and be merry. Kayla says she's going to the streets. Well, I was trying to be delicate here. Lady Nivoa says, you wish that Vivian's book talks about playing video games the whole day off and not doing anything. You see that a lot now. I'm choosing my words carefully. I want to say that's a boy, not a man. However, comma, I know that men decompress in different ways. So I'm not throwing anybody under the bus, but a man on his purpose is almost a workaholic. They are so determined. You almost have to, as the woman, like, hey, babe, you okay? We have to check on them. You okay? You need time. You need a break. You need a nap. You need a snack or whatever. Because once a man finds his purpose, he moves with a sense of urgency because there's something that he wants to accomplish. And wasting time with anything, it could be relationships that waste time or hanging out with the fellas or going to places or playing video games, all of that stuff just kind of falls back. And I used to do that. So I would say a man who plays video games all day is not moving on his purpose. He's still in an immature state. Now, there are men that like to, you know, get with the guys or get with whoever and just kind of play video games. So hopefully you all see the nuance here. Would you add anything to that one, Lucy? I would. I would say, for me, it would be if he's getting the finances, if he's getting all the work done at home, if he's doing everything, and he needs that time to be on his own doing whatever it is that he's doing. In this case, it's video gaming. Let him. That's his time to recharge, decompress, do his own thing. Leave him alone. As long as he's getting all the other things done, that video game shouldn't even be an issue. That's his time. Let him be. I love that. Oh, my goodness. I love that. The Clue Channel says you're changing the world right now, Maggie. Oh, when I said I was going Yeah, y'all. I thought y'all hadn't seen the likes of Maggie before. I've come a long way, y'all. I have come a long way. Yes, we're trying. And we know this message isn't for everyone, but the internet lives forever. And I believe that the people that need to hear it will hear it. And if it's not their time yet, then, you know, there's always the replay. But this is our life's work. And we are very passionate about helping women who maybe didn't get this teaching. Thank you for the thumbs up, Big Ben. Thank you all for all of the support. Let's see if there's anything else. Oh, the Clue Channel says I'm guilty of the on and off thing. Sorry, ladies. Well, ladies, here is a teachable moment. And I'm saying this as someone who has reconnected with someone from her past. However, I think it's different. This is not an on again, off again thing. Ladies, I would just say if a man is on again, off again with you, to me in general, on again, off again just means off. Like if you're not sure about what we have, what are we doing? Because I'm sure who I am. I want to happily submit to a man. I want to be a wife again. Like I am very determined and moving in that way and carrying myself in that way. I struggle with the on again, off again things. I would just say, ladies, if a man is on again, off again with you, he's not sure. And to me, that's very disturbing, because I'm looking to you for your leadership, for your certainty. One of the things I love about my man is his decision making. Y'all, I'm telling you now, even for our Maggie Lou meetup, they told me to start looking at the menu now, and I got to pick like nine to 12 things. And I'm struggling. What am I going to feed y'all? It's all going to be good, but I know this about myself. He can survey the land and say, yep, we need to do that. And I'm like, well, how do you? Okay, that's what we're doing. And he's right. I don't have that skill. So I would just be cautious about the on again, off again thing. My story, and I've shared it here, fell in love with a boy when I was young, and I thought we would get married and have kids like my small town, like everybody else was doing. But he said, no, I want to go to college and be a frat boy and conquer the world. Broke my little heart. So what did I do? Did I change him? No. I moved on, met someone in college, married someone, had two kids and all that. Unfortunately, the marriage ended. And now he is the man that I always wanted, but he had to get there. And he said, oh, I remember you. I am Tarzan. You are Jane. And that's how it worked. Would you say anything about the on again, off again, Lucy? Yeah, I think it's with the clue. I'm thinking that maybe he's talking about not the lady that he's with right now, because it seems that he's pretty serious with that lady. I doubt that that lady would allow him to do the on and off again that he spoke about earlier. So clue, just correct me if I'm wrong on this one. But I think it's just it's not healthy for either party, you know, saying, yeah, I like you, but then I don't like you. And then I like you, but then I don't like you. And, you know, if there's that behavior, that that man is probably looking for other avenues somewhere else. And you're not the one. That's how I would see it. All right, ladies, Lucy has spoken. The Clue Channel is here in Atlanta. You're coming to the Maggie Lou meetup. I'm so excited. It'll be so nice to see you all. All right. So I'll have to set up everything and get all the details. But we can't wait. Lady Nevoa is listening. Dr. Sherry said, boom, somebody dropped the mic. And Laura likes the Maggie Lou. Y'all have called us Maggie Lou. Of course, I'm Maggie. This is Lucy. Y'all have called us Laverne and Shirley. Y'all have called us. Well, Zoom to Thailand calls us Salt-N-Pepa. One of y'all called us Kid and Play. I think Killer says we're going to be the old. No, not the old couple, the odd guy. Oh, my God. Y'all. OK, I'm just glad that y'all are here. So Lady Nevoa likes that. Oh, it was your lady in the past. You don't do that anymore. OK, good. Thank goodness for progress. Wonderful. Lady Nevoa says, all right. Lady Nevoa says married men don't visit all day at a friend's home either, especially till late or invite them over to your homeland. What are we doing? Yes, ladies. OK, let's choose wisely. OK, she's given some extra context. So I think Lucy answered it, ladies. If he is checking all the boxes, allow him to decompress the way he needs to. I went off. I was like, what are we doing? On again, off again. I'm behind y'all. Let's see if any other questions. Oh, he's here. He's watching. He's always watching. You all know him and you love him. If y'all would put BLJ in the chat. This is really special for me. You all know that. Well, just to update you, we have a few pre-records coming up for you all because I'll be flying out for the Maggie meetup at sea. But Lucy and I wanted to make sure that you had all of the content. We will be in the chat with you. So we will definitely be here. You will see the premiere scheduled. But I'm glad you all will be here today and Sunday for another live stream. But Brandon has been incredibly generous and he's watching and giving us the thumbs up. Thank you for the books, Brandon. We appreciate you. All right. Let's see anything else. Lo Meiji says, what if you come from generational broken homes? Who do you listen to? Listen, this is something that Kevin Samuels used to talk about all the time. And Lucy and I have a Kevin Samuels connection. We come from traditional homes. However, if you didn't, Kevin said, you're going to have to seek it out. All of us have disadvantages in certain areas. All of us have advantages in certain areas. But what he used to admonish women, especially once you become 18, it's on you. You know what you have in your court and you know what you're missing. So just like ladies, and I don't know, Lo Meiji, if you're a man or woman, it doesn't matter. But ladies and gentlemen, if you know that you are not where you need to be, you're going to have to seek that out. So I'll speak to the ladies because that's who we speak to here, especially ladies, those of us that are professional who put time into getting that degree and going back and bragging about those masters or those certificates. You know, you have your hair done and your nails done. You put effort into the stuff you want to do. But when it comes to your relationship skills, you're behind and you're not able to compete because you want somebody to just, oh, just understand I didn't get what I needed growing up. That's no excuse. So Lucy and I are a resource for you. I do one-on-one coaching. We have group classes. We have given you, we're giving you 30 days back to back of what it's like to learn from us. But whether it's us or anyone else, you're going to have to seek it out. What would you say to that, Lucy? I agree. And also I would watch real life examples, not movies, not entertainment, not Hollywood of couples that seem to have their lives together. So, or a person that does things the way that you think should be done. There's no chaos in their lives. You know, you know, those, there are women that you see and they're like chaotic. Everybody, they come in and everything is falling apart. Whereas you see those that are, you know, peaceful, quiet, you know, they just mind their own business. So just keep an eye open to those examples that you think would be a good idea to imitate or emulate and talk to them and say, and get to know them and ask them, you know, I need some advice. Of course, you're not going to throw the entire, your entire life in front of them the first time you meet them, but little by little create that relationship where with someone that would be giving you good advice. I absolutely love that. And, you know, ladies and gentlemen, we can all learn from watching others. We can learn what to do and what not to do. You all are lucky. We all are lucky. We live in the social media age and technology age. You don't have to go far to see someone acting badly online. And, you know, sometimes people watch that for the train wreck aspect of it, but I watch that and I say, hmm, what can I learn from this? Okay. Yes. I can see she's having an emotional response, but she's going to wake up tomorrow and dry her tears. And there is going to be a disaster because she lit a match and watched it burn because she just couldn't control herself in that moment of anger. So what am I going to do? Okay. I need to make sure if I ever feel like going off in the moment, what am I going to do now to make sure that I don't do that? Who am I going to call? Am I going to turn off the phone? Am I going to go somewhere? Like I start putting a plan in place to make sure I am not that person. And I love what Lucy said about, ladies and gentlemen, you can ask. One of the things about getting older, I'll be 48 on Wednesday. Lucy shared she's 57. When you're older, I think it's natural that you want to impart what you've learned, whether it's to your children, nieces, nephews, the community, that is what we should do. That's how it has been for years and for generations. The older women taught the younger women. The older men taught the younger men. So I think if you open your mouth and ask, closed mouths don't get fed. If you see someone who's moving in a way that you admire, compliment them first and then ask, would it be okay if, and make it something that's mutually beneficial. You don't want to be that person that's just a leech taking all the time, but could I take you for coffee or something? I would just love to pick your brain or I could help you in this way. It's really like networking, but the successful people all have mentors or somebody that they can talk to and say, okay, I'm struggling in this area. Everybody who shows up and it just looks perfect. They've done a lot of work behind the scenes. And I share with you, I bump my head a lot. I signed up for another class today on feminine movement because I know this is a struggle for me and I want to be the best version of myself. So don't be afraid to ask, find somebody that you feel comfortable with. And especially if it's someone older, you would be surprised. You know what, man, you all have been together 30 years. You don't really see that anymore. I would love to know how you make it work because I'm sure it hasn't been easy. I could, in exchange for your time, I could, I'm making it up, help you with your Christmas decorations or, you know, take you for a coffee, put some effort into it and try, but you're going to have to seek it out. It's not going to fall in your lap. All right. The Clue Channel does not believe and will never believe I am 47. Lucy, how old are you? I'm 57. 1966. 1975. The Clue Channel will just, will not let us be mature women, but you know what, thank you. That is so kind of you to say. And I say that as a woman who has made some mistakes, but I've learned from them and gotten better. And I think our age, we should have the wisdom that comes with those years. A lot of women who struggle with aging, I think it's because their age does not represent well where they are in life. They wish they had done more, chosen wisely, done better. So thank you for the compliment. You all think that we are younger than our years, but we're proud to be a resource for you. He says, nope, nope, all cap. Okay. Well, on that note, we are going to wrap up. It is date night for somebody here. And yes. So tomorrow we have a stream for you. It has been prerecorded. So we will be here at our usual time. I will be in the chat, but Lucy, do you want to share? Yes. My family, we're getting together for Thanksgiving tomorrow because some of them had Thanksgiving on Thursday. Some of them had them today. So we finally get everyone together tomorrow. So we're going to be meeting at, I think it starts at four o'clock. I don't know if I'm going to be able to join you at six, because we're going to probably be eating and talking and probably arguing about anything with my mom and dad, but that's, that's family usually. So yes. So that's the reason I'm not going to be here tomorrow, but Sunday looking forward to it. And y'all, I didn't think we would make it. We have gone on a 24 day continuous streaming streak. I don't know if this is a record, but this has been, it's been an honor you all, but we just want to let you know. So I will be in the chat with you all tomorrow. And then Sunday we will be back for our last live stream. And then next week we have them prerecorded because I will be on the Maggie meetup cruise. So happy Thanksgiving weekend. Thank you all for being here. We will see you. I will see you in the chat tomorrow. So glad you all are here. If you want, if you know anyone who wants to catch the last live stream, join us on Sunday as we wrap up this series. So happy Black Friday, happy Thanksgiving weekend. I'm glad you all enjoyed it. Thank you for being here with us and stay tuned for more. The Black Friday special is still going on, teachablemomentswithmaggie.com. If you're interested in any of the offerings we have, the Black Friday coach. You heard the snore. I'm sorry. I'm done. I'm sorry. Bye y'all.