CaLeisha Powell Pt. 1 | Delivered from Attempted Suicide & Extreme Anxiety | THE JOURNEY

That she was going to get sentenced. The judge had mercy on her because she went into labor on the stand with me. So yeah, never heard anything before. Everybody, it's me, Julianne Hartman with the journey, and I've got a very special guest for you today. This is Kalisha Powell. Thank you so much, sweet girl. You are the beautiful. I cannot wait to get into your story because it's pretty amazing, man. Well, thank you for having me with Julianne. I'm happy to be here. Well, she's got a lot to tell. So I really, that's why I know y'all like this when I don't take too much time because you're like, what's the story? Let's get into the story now. So we're going to get right into it. So Kalisha, I, you know, I always love getting people's background because we never know where people are coming from. Like, you know, were you a Christian when you were little? Did you, were you raised a Christian? You know, what was your family like life or what was your family life like when you were young, which might have brought you to maybe a place that wasn't so good or was really good in your life. So why don't you give us a little bit of background as far as, you know, where you raised a Christian and where you from as well. And also a little bit about your family and where you fit in the family. If you're kid number one, two, three, or four, five. Sometimes with Christian families, it's nine. Yeah, so I am from the great nation of Texas. Yeah, kind of, kind of small town in West Texas. I definitely grew up Christian or I grew up Baptist rather and I was raised by a single mom. My dad was in prison majority of my life. So that's kind of my family dynamic. So I'm my mom's only daughter and I'm her oldest and then I'm happy by her as well. And then I'm from a different dad and then three older brothers from a different mom on my dad. Okay, so you are the oldest. Yes. And have you ever met your dad? Yes, I have met my dad. Okay, and so you were never raised with him though. No, so he went to prison while my mom was pregnant with me and my mom were married. They were the biggest drug dealers in our town. And so he went on the run and he actually went on the run until my mom gave birth to me. And then he actually got caught up after she got released from jail and that's a whole nother thing in and of itself. And then he's been in prison until I was 24 years old. Holy cow. How old are you? I'm 28. I'll be 29 in a couple weeks. Oh, so this is just a few years ago. Yeah. Oh my gosh. Yeah. He had a life sentence. He had 116 years with without parole. So it was a super it was a God thing that he even got out of prison. So what did he do? Are you allowed to tell me that? Yeah, so they got him for conspiracy. He was a great businessman. Just in the wrong the wrong business. So he did have several businesses, but he was also one of the biggest drug dealers in my small town and and they got him a lot on conspiracy because they can never catch him doing the things and so my dad side of the family is very well known in my small town. I would say there's not anybody including myself being honest. There's nobody on my dad's side of the family that has not been to jail or been arrested or been to prison. Not one of us male or female. That's how crazy are. Oh my gosh. And you were from a very small town. We have two high schools. So very small. Okay. So what was your mom was pregnant with you while she was in prison, right? Yeah. So she was in jail. She was waiting to be sentenced. So had her in jail kind of in that waiting period and they were going to sentence her actually to life without parole as well. 116 14 years something like that. And actually the day that she was going to get sentenced the judge had mercy on her because she went into labor on the stand with me. So yeah, never heard anything before. Yeah, like I was set up to go to aunt's house and everything and literally the judge had my mom tells me this to this day. She's like, yeah, it's because of you. I didn't go to prison. So she was going to prison based on the same charges that your dad, right? Mm-hmm. Okay. So was she doing drugs while you guys while she was pregnant? No. So my parents they never did drugs, but they definitely sold them. We'll see. That's a good businessman. I mean, come on man slash woman. That's that is a joke. So please don't hold me to that our audience but it really if you think about it, you don't consume your own product, right? That's what they believe. Yeah, but I'll something else was a little loose. Yeah, sure. You think if that would even work but wow. Oh my gosh. Okay. So then what happens to a woman who is being sentenced goes into labor on the witness stand. Where do you guys go? Like where did the County Hospital then? Where'd you go after that? Yeah, so they gave my mom 14 years of parole. And so it was a super strict parole. So if she got in any trouble, she would automatically go to prison. There wasn't no chances or anything given. So I mom was very very tight and everything that she did and my mom is very outspoken and just yeah, she's kind of crazy. And so for her to kind of restrain herself and have that self-control and just different things as I saw her growing up like not not going off on teachers and not, you know, acting crazy a different situation because she knew if she went to prison me my brother would be in foster care go to a family member. So she really tried to not get in trouble. So yeah after that it was just me and my mom for about five and a half six years and then my mom met my brother's dad and then it was just me and my little brother and we were raised by single mom. So my mom she was very proud. She never took any government assistance or anything like that. So she worked two three sometimes four jobs. So even at a young age, I remember being five and six years old and my brother was under one years old and I'm taking care of him while she worked overnight as a caregiver and as a nurse and doing different things. So we literally had like code words and code knocks and she called us every two or three hours. And so I was doing these things at a five and six year old and then I had family members that would come in and check on us or neighbors that my mom trusted type thing. But yeah, I was I did that for majority of my me my brother's childhood until I was about 16. Okay. So your brother you and your brother about five or six years apart, right? Ma'am. Well, all right. So where was so did you have your own apartment like where were you in like government housing was your mom where was her mom and her family? Yeah, so my mom's mom actually she passed away two years before I was born and the interesting story about my mom's mom. My mom's mom was actually found in a dirt road and she was yeah. So my mom my mom is is white and my dad's black and I say this because you just gotta meet my mom, but my mom's mom was found in a dirt road by a black woman. So she was raised by a black woman. So there's just a whole different type of just culture fast even from my mom's side of the family like I need to interview your mom. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so she didn't I didn't grow up with with my mom's mom. So I just had my paw paw and then my meemaw who was my pawpaw's a newer wife. So I had them in my life and that's how I kind of understood Church, but it wasn't for me to I just didn't want to go to church is to go to church. I knew when I went over to me mom. Papa's house. We always had to go to church. So that was that connection in that. So, okay, if everyone from Texas their grandparents me mom Papa. Yeah, it is. We have family. We have family in Texas as well. And it's always me ma and Papa's like wow, I guess that's the names of grandparents in Texas. All right. So you guys where did like where did you live? Was it like section 8 housing? Like how where did you stay? No, like like I mentioned my mom. She was very proud. So she didn't take any government assistance at all. So we stayed in apartments. We didn't I didn't live in a house until my sophomore year of high school like first home, but we lived in apartments and it was always like a two-bedroom apartment. Me and my brother shared a room where my brother shared a room with my mom. So yeah, that's how we grew up was just an apartment complexes, but we didn't go to different ones. We had stable ones. Okay, so it's like your mom did a complete turnaround that then going from the you know, the drug business woman into now being stable and raising the you kids and so so okay. So obviously since you were the babysitter, did you get in any trouble because you were you were your own like Guardian basically. Yeah. So the interesting and I'm now looking back. I just believe it's the grace of God. I was a very still am just a very observant kid. So I looked at people's lives around me. I looked at my mom's own life. I looked at people in the apartment complex or people at school and I paid attention to how the teachers interacted with their spouses and things like that and I would really pay attention to like the cause and effect of things and so I would watch people and I'd be like, you know what? This is what I'm not going to do because I just saw the whole ending of that. So as a kid, I didn't really get in trouble as far as like like, well, I definitely party but I had permission. I have permission to party but as far as like a little kid, I got in trouble in school just being honoring. I was a type of kid that I handled everything myself because that's how I was raised. I was the person who enforced the Authority. So the kid bullied me or mess with me. I didn't go to tell the teacher. I would just handle it in that moment. So then that would get me in trouble. Yeah, that doesn't handle it physically. No, I mean sometimes that's what it takes. Unfortunately, that's what it takes. So I had to learn quickly to keep my hands to myself. Keep my mouth shut and yeah. Wow. All right. So you said you were kind of a party girl that but you had you had you you were given the consent to be a party girl. What is that? I was very I was very responsible. Oh, yeah. So I mean, I don't know how that sounds but for like a year that I was the one that was like driving. I necessarily wasn't always sober, but I wanted to be in control of everything. It's like if I want to leave the party, I'm out like and I'm watching my friends. I took care of them, but I would let my mom know what I'm doing because at that age 16 17 years old. I was working a full-time job. I was paying half the rent because we never mortgage. I was paying rent and paying taking care of a lot of adult bills. So it was kind of I was like a her roommate and since and so she couldn't really tell me no because I paid for my car. I paid for the insurance paid for half her stuff. So it's like yeah, I'm gonna let you do it as long as you let me know what you're doing type of thing. So yeah, and I so I got into the party scene. I got into being a bartender and server being in that type of lifestyle and in that kind of supported myself through school through high school and college. So yeah, now I'm sure you did very well with tips because you're so beautiful. Well, thank you. All right. So so now you're the bartender you are putting yourself through school to do what what were you going to school for? Yeah. So I always had a dream to be in the nursing field because my mom was a caregiver and LVN and my me mom my aunt my cousins. We're all bunch of nurses and even at a young age because my mom would sometimes have to take me my brother to work with her. So she would have me like we're not the type of kids just sitting around and we didn't have tablets back then. So she would say, okay, go get that bedpan cleaning out, you know, go ahead and and clean up her bed sores and and go change the cat litter. So I was doing that at a young age and I loved it and I was she'd have me massage people's feet with lotion and everything. Oh my wait a minute. We have to go back to the bedpans. What? No, seriously. Yes. Oh my gosh. I I can't I can't do things like that. That's incredible. Especially being a young girl. Yeah, but she raised me in that and it didn't seem it like it didn't gross me out. It just seemed like that was the right thing to do because even though you know, we my mom we had our own things kind of growing up, but she she taught me what it was like to be a good person to others and we don't treat anybody different and when somebody needs help, help them. And so in that she taught me how to be a caregiver and I just watched how she took care of the elderly and yeah, so kind of was just born in me. How about your brother? Was he take massaging people's feet? Was in the corner playing his game boy or something? No. Oh my gosh. All right. So, okay. So now you're going through college and you're you're becoming a nurse. So now did you at when did you leave your house to start your own life? Yeah. So I actually left my house a little bit after I turned 16. I think right look part about two or three months before I turned 17. Actually, I left and I got my own apartment. It just why did you do that? Why didn't you stay? Yeah, you know growing up with a single mom. There's always opportunity for just traumatic stuff to happen. So I know we have a mom not having support from a spouse. And so she's going with all of that pressure and then putting that pressure on her her eldest who is supporting and so there's conflict and there was just a lot of like resentment and bitterness in my heart because my mom and she knows all of these things. So I'm not just just saying this. We've had several discussions, but in that moment, she treated me and my brother differently because we had two different dads and my dad was my mom's like first love. She got with him when she was 16. So it just hurt her how he left and kind of left her by herself and everything. So that kind of went over on to me and how she treated me so I can probably count on one hand with fingers left over how many times she told me she loved me but by the time I moved out but yet I knew she was capable of love because I saw her show that to my little brother. And so that's where that resentment and bitterness kind of came up and then just different things with my brother's dad allowing him to to use her and and abuse her and not treating my brother. Well, it just built up that resentment where I literally could not stand my mom. I didn't care whether she was alive or dead like serious. And so we got into an argument and it was the final argument. I never was physical with my mom because I just had that that moral standard but it got to that to that point a lot towards the end. So I'm like, you know what? I don't have to do this so I can basically like, you know, I can do bad all by myself. So I know I I heard I've heard of did you did you also look like your dad? Yes, we do. We do look similar. Okay, because that that I've heard this. Many times how that sometimes when you know a situation like this has happened. There's a divorce that when the child looks like the father it's hard because she looks into the eyes of the man almost every time she looks at you which is brings back all those memories and stuff. Okay, so that was probably a good time then for you to to leave and so then where did you go? And what happened now? Wait all this time though. There's no Christ in your life, right? Yeah, so I actually gave my life to Lord at 12 years old. Oh, okay. We didn't talk about that. How did that happen? So yeah, it was actually happened in my bedroom. I was very honorary little kid because I grew up Baptist. So every time they had an altar call they're like this was specifically during VBS and they're always looking like all right, where's where's the kids are y'all going to go up there? So I was literally the only kid in the whole congregation that didn't walk up to the front, but I just had this understanding. Like I said, I was very aware and just very sensible on my thinking. I'm like, why would I go and make this promise before everybody when I know I'm going to do something bad? Like why would I do that? Like that makes no like I'd so I literally would try to plan out my salvation. It's like, oh, I'm gonna wait till I'm 21. But no, I want to drink. So maybe 24 maybe two years to drink. So I literally had this whole plan but the Lord reminded me of me talking to him in my bedroom when I was 12 and it was right after VBS and my brother was the last one that walked up to the altar to get born again. And I will never forget like the whole congregation in the in the pews at the Baptist Church, right? Yeah at me like are you not going to walk up there? And I remember just thinking I'm like, no, I'm not and just because you're looking at me. I'm not going to and so I had a conversation in my bedroom with the Lord about that. Like, you know, God, I believe you real and I believe you died for me, but you know, I'm not going to walk up there just because they want me to walk up there like, you know, and so I had this conversation with the Lord and he reminded me when I was crying out to him years later. Like, you know, why was I so protected and and you know, when he was reminding me of areas that he was in my life where he showed me and he's like Lee she gave her life to me at 12 years old like that counted that counted. Yes, I was born again then and then I surrendered my life to the Lord a little bit later on. So but at 12 years old if there was no backup at home, how did you sustain a relationship with him? Yeah, so I did get my Bible. I did go to church every every time when I would be mom pop balls and went to church. I went to buy the Bible studies in the mornings and so it was a youth like a youth pastor a woman. She kind of took me underneath her wing and she gave me my first Bible and would talk with me and encourage me and answer my questions that I'd have about God. But even then I'd still didn't feel like she saw me fully and so I didn't really open up as much as I should have because I was just like, oh, well, you're doing this because you have to you know, this is your part of the church. Like you have to do this. You don't want to do this. And so and that wasn't the right mindset, but that's what I thought at such a young age. So yeah, okay. Okay, so now you're on your own at 16 years old and what are you doing? What's going on? You've got your job as a bartender. I'm sure are you dating? Are you dating any boys? No, my whole I didn't I didn't have my first boyfriend until I was 24. So now not even dating not even dating. Like I said, I was very observant. Yeah, but how did you how did that happen? Because you're so beautiful. I mean, how did you never get go out with a guy on the date? Definitely try but I was just so and I'm telling you it's the grace of God. I was so just had a firm standing on like my values and it had nothing to do with the Bible. It was like this is how I want to be treated and I'm not going to and I'm not going to accept anything less and I'm seeing how my friends are treated. So I'm just like no, that's a flag or I'm at the bar working and I'm seeing I'm watching these interactions on how guys are picking up girls. So I'm just like, okay, that's weird. I know how to look out to that and then also to I just had this thought in my head and it sounds it sounds kind of crazy, but I'm just like if I don't want kids or STDs, I'm just not going to have sex. So it was just so it never it never happened. So yeah, yeah. All right. Yeah. Okay. So now walk me through now what life is like after you're now moving on. Obviously, you're getting older. You're like turning 18 soon. What's going on in your life? Yeah. So right before I moved out and this was kind of like the deciding factor of me moving out. I had an amazing encounter with the Lord. I was kind of like on my my last straw my last within we had one of our biggest fights blow out me and my mom. A couple years prior to that my Papa passed away. So he was kind of like the to the family and so with my meemaw being like a step-grandma or a step-mom to her but that's the only meemaw I've ever known there was conflict, you know, when a when a person that holds the family together and they pass away, there's always conflict on who yeah, how do we how do we act now? And I'm just like, what do you mean? How do we act now? We act the same way that we did before and so I'm trying to process this as a kid and then there's conflict with that because I still want to see me maul and different things like that. So we had a big blowout specifically about that and the and it wasn't even nothing serious. But for some reason that was just the last straw for me and I'm like, you know what this is life is not going to get any better and I feel like I'm living hell on earth and in the Baptist Church where I was raised they taught if you committed suicide or try to kill yourself, you'll go straight to hell and in that moment of dealing with anxiety attacks, I had a severe anxiety attacks when I literally just start hyperventilating for over an hour and it's it's it was like I was drowning like in air was the most craziest feeling so I was dealing with all of that and then having that last fight and I'm like, you know what I'm already living hell here on earth. So I might as well go to hell. Anyway, that was my mindset. It sounds crazy now, but that's where I was in that place. So I I wrote a note and it was to my little brother and I just it was basically an apology saying that I couldn't be here for him and I couldn't do life with him anymore, but I want you to keep going and just different things like that and I went to three different convenience stores to get sleeping pills. I got 56 sleeping pills and I remember going into different ones because I'm like somebody's watching me like they're going to know what I'm doing. So I was like I have to go to different like this was crazy and and I googled which ones to take and and what would be the most effective and they were so strong. They only sold one pill per pack. That's how strong they were. They didn't have a bottle of them. And so I took all the sleeping pills and I wrote the note and then it was just complete torment after that and just I just remember just crying and just just thinking how much of a failure I was at life and and I just remember very distinctly like the enemy just accusing me now me knowing now like the enemy accusing me like do you see what she did? Do you see what she did? And I remember laying down in my bed and having the enemy above my bed and then mean me now knowing Jesus and having a conversation like do you see what she did? Do you see what she did? I remember him just saying well, she's mine. She's mine and and I thought I was just high obviously because of the pills but I was like, okay. Well, this is real like prove it like Lord save me take my life and do something great with it and do it and I don't remember anything after that. I went to sleep obviously take a bunch of sleeping pills and I threw up everything that I took hours later and I had no side effects or symptoms. I just I woke up by throwing up and and no side effects. I remember googling that medication specifically in the dosage amount because I was in medical school. So I kind of know the exact name of it and if anybody would have survived that they should be in a coma and be brain dead according to that specific dose. It was complete supernatural. I believe that the Lord literally resurrected me that night. And yeah that morning I had supernatural peace that I could not explain. I've never felt peace in my whole life. So I don't I don't didn't know what it felt like. So something completely different and I was like, okay. Well God, you're obviously real because you saved me and I have this piece what next and so I just kept looking day after day after that like, okay, what next and just kind of going, you know, and my my life didn't change automatically. I was still in it, but there was a difference on the inside and there was a it was like a settling of peace if I can if I could put work like a settling and so even though things were still chaotic around me. I was like I was I was on the rock of peace. That's that's only I can kind of explain it and I was looking for yet another job. I moved out or fixing to go into my dorm. I was fixing to go into college because I graduated early and I was looking for another job on Craigslist and I don't know if people know who knows what Craigslist is these days, but is it isn't even around anymore, right? But Craigslist is like I feel like that's where people get like like I don't know you go get gardening tools or something. It's yeah. Yeah, but I looked for a job off of Craigslist because I was so desperate just to move out and make money and live my own life. So this was a third job that I was getting additional to what I was doing. And now now I know like the job was completely fashion for me was like, do you want to be a caregiver? Do you want to be do you want to travel and it was getting paid like 1750 an hour that was a lot for almost now. But it was completely fashion for me. How was written? I'm like, I don't know if this is real, but I'm going to answer that my answer the ad and I went to interview the guy text me back. It was an interview and it was to be a caregiver for a gentleman that was paralyzed from the neck down. He was a quadriplegic. Oh, wow. All right. So here here's what's going on. We're already out of time. Oh, boo. Yeah, already. We are already out of time. I cannot believe this. It was so fast. Oh my gosh, so much has been talked about so much has happened. So we're going to stop here, but you got a tune in next week to hear the second part of the story. Thank you so much Kalisha for coming on and telling your story. I mean, you've told a lot a lot of personal stuff and all this does is help our viewers that are watching this look at their own situation and say wow mine wasn't even that bad right or mine was just as bad. But look at look at Kalisha now. And look where my life can go if you just give God a chance. So that's the whole goal behind this. So thank you guys so much for watching go to healingjourneystoday.com and check out everything we have there. We've got so many things happening. We've got the Q&A's and different specialty shows and we've got so many wonderful things coming up. So you don't want to miss it. You want to get on our newsletter so that you can hear firsthand what's happening. So thank you all so much and we'll see you next time.