Answering Your Questions LIVE

What's up, what's up, what's up? Hello, everybody. Come in. Take a seat. Spend a few minutes with me. I am coming to you from the gym. I'm showered. I've got very limited time today. So, I wanted to come by, spend a few minutes with you, answer some questions. If you want me to answer a question, then leave me a comment. Fiona, Anyana, Rainia, or Rainia, Rainia, I think. Hello to everyone coming in on TikTok, Instagram, Facebook, YouTube. Leave me a hello when you get here. And of course, leave a question if there's a question that you want to ask. Arisna says, how to make him initiate dates? Well, I'd say, have you dropped any hints about things you might like to do? Have you talked about places you want to see, things you're really excited to go and do, the idea that it would be fun to do it together? You know, if you said, oh, my God, that would be so much fun to do, or that would be really fun to do with you, so that you're actually giving that person those hints that you'd like them to do those things with you, giving them ideas for dates. And also, the compliment of, I think that would be so much fun to do with you, or I feel like you and I would have so much fun doing that together. Dropping those little hints. Tiffany says, hi, Matthew and team, just finished your new book. Love it. Anyone got a copy of the book? Leave me a comment. Let me know if you've already got a copy of the book and you're enjoying it. I want to know if you're enjoying the book. What's been your favorite chapter so far? I haven't asked that question yet. This will be the first time. What has been your favorite chapter so far? So exciting. We found out yesterday or Wednesday, we are number three on the New York Times bestseller list, which is amazing. We also found out we're number five on the Sunday Times list in the UK, which means the book is officially an international bestseller, which is mind-blowing, and I'm still trying to let that sink in. All right. Who do we have here? Let's see. Instagram, hello to all of you. Hello on Instagram. They shall. Let me know you're here once you're here. All right. Linda says, can we talk about ghosting? Yes, we can talk about ghosting. Who here has ever been ghosted? Ghosting is one of those things where I think we missed the point, and the point is this. When someone ghosts us, it's so easy to go straight to, I am worthless. If someone did that to me, then I feel worthless. I feel like I'm not even worth giving an explanation to. I can just be discarded. But I think the point we miss about ghosting is that when someone ghosts us, what we're learning is how they deal with uncomfortable conversations, how they deal with uncomfortable situations in life. That's really important. The cliche is, it says more about them than it does about you. That's fine. It's important. That's true. But why? Let's just get behind what that really means. If someone, I don't know about you, but the person that I want to build a life with and am building a life with is someone that I chose because I knew we'd make a great team together. And part of why I knew we'd make a great team together is this person doesn't run away from difficult situations. She runs towards them and says, let's solve it. She can have a hard conversation. She can communicate to me what she doesn't like. If someone runs away from hard conversations, if someone runs away from challenging situations, then you're learning how they deal with life. And I think that's a really, really important thing to focus on. Regardless of whether they like you or not, there's going to be plenty of people who don't like you in life. That's normal. Rejection is not a bug when it comes to dating. It is a feature. We are all going to get rejected in our life. I've just released a book. Guess what? There's going to be a bunch of people who come out and say they don't like me when I'm coming out and saying, hey, I've got this amazing book. I want you to check it out. That's normal. That's a normal part of life. If you're going to put yourself out there, you're going to face rejection. So rejection is normal. So the fact that someone doesn't want you shouldn't alarm you. That's a normal part of life. But the person who not only decides they don't want you, but also ghosts you, that's showing how they deal with situations. And by the way, someone ghosting us isn't the same as someone slowly fading out. Slowly fading out is just another form of closure. Like, oh, they're not intentional. They don't want the same things as me. They're not into me the way I'm into them, or they're not being conscious about their dating. But if you're reaching out to someone for closure and they're just proactively ignoring you, then that's telling you something about that person's ability to deal with hard conversations. All right. Very good. By the way, I'm going to answer more questions. Jeremy, before we do, let's put that link back up on the screen because I have a key question for everyone here. Instagram, Facebook, YouTube, TikTok. I'm looking at all of you. Who here is joining us tomorrow for the celebration and thank you event that I'm doing for the Love Life book? For those of you that don't know, leave me a comment if you're coming tomorrow. It's a three hour live event with me. And for those of you that don't know, this is me helping you with your love life this year. And it is just a thank you. I'm doing this just to say thank you to everyone who has gone out and supported me by getting a copy of the new book. If you've got the book and you haven't signed up for the event yet, you can do it at lovelifebook.com. So don't worry, there's still time, but only until the end of the day So make sure that if you've already got the book, but you haven't registered your purchase, that you do it at lovelifebook.com. And if you haven't got the book yet, well, you can get it today and you still have time to join us for the event tomorrow. It's if you're on Instagram or Facebook comment, the word love life as one word, just do that right now. Literally type in love life as one word into the comment right now, and I'll send you a link to get it. And then all you need to do is register your purchase using your receipt or confirmation number at lovelifebook.com. It'll take you 10 seconds. And then you can join us tomorrow live. And I'm going to be answering this question. If I was trying to help someone make it inevitable that they found love. And of course, no one can guarantee you'll find love this year. But if I was trying to make it inevitable, what are the things that I would get people to do this year? And that's the question I'm going to be attempting to answer tomorrow in this three hour event. Audrey is going to be there. So for those of you who want to hear more from Audrey and learn more from Audrey, she's going to be joining me on stage for part of the event. So many of you have questions for Audrey. And you, I know some of you have heard from podcasts I've done in the last few weeks, you've heard about our story and things she did that have made her essentially a hero to so many people. She's going to be getting on stage and you're going to actually have the chance to hear from her live from her. So my brother, Steven is going to be there. It's going to be a celebration and it's only happening once. It's just my way of saying thank you to every single one of you who supported me in this journey to getting this book to as many people as possible. And because of you, we hit number three on the New York times list. So this event is a celebration. If you haven't, if you've bought the book and by the way, this counts for eBooks, audio books, and the physical books. So anyone who has any version of the book can come. You just need to register your purchase at lovelifebook.com. And by the way, if you show up live, you get extra entries into our prize giveaway. Everyone who buys a copy of the book and registers at lovelifebook.com is part of a giveaway I'm doing of 39 different prizes, including live retreats, one-on-one with me, signed books, Lovelife sweatshirts. But if you show up live to the event, if you're actually there tomorrow on the day, you are going to get extra entries into the prize giveaway, which means you have a much better chance of winning. So make sure that if you get the book, you show up live to the event. Again, you don't pay for any of this. This is all just a thank you event and a celebration. So come join us. All right. Sarah says, feeling lucky. I'm so happy, Sarah, that you're coming. I'm excited. And again, if you're on Facebook or Instagram, just comment right now before you do anything else. I'm going to answer more questions, but just comment Lovelife. One word on Instagram and Facebook. Or if you're on YouTube or TikTok, then go to lovelifebook.com. All right. Jeremy, what's our next question? Alien07 says, I got the book. Can't wait to read it. Carissa, I see you typing Lovelife MD on Facebook. I see you just typed Lovelife. I'll send you a link right now. Ms. Pina Colada, I see you just typed Lovelife May to Queen. You did as well. I'll send you all the links right now. Everyone's sending comments with Lovelife. I'll send you the link immediately. Erin says, how patient should I be in considering a man's worries and concerns with our long distance relationship? Only 80 miles away. He was all in, but now he is nervous and pulling away. And then all in on a day to day basis. So OK, what you have is someone who this is like a classic kind of hot and cold situation where someone is telling you, at least on the surface, their reasons for being all in and then inconsistent is because they're just not sure about a long distance relationship. Now, you have to be really, really careful with that, because if someone is going, I just I don't know if I want long distance. He's probably got a whole bunch of hang ups about the idea of seeing someone where he can't see them that often. 80 miles is, you know, it's not the other side of the country, but it's not nothing. And what is 80 miles? How far away does that put someone like an hour, two hours, hour and a half? So if this person is an hour and a half away, firstly, you have to say this isn't like a this isn't a flight away long distance situation. It's someone lives an hour and a half away. And if someone's not willing to drive an hour and a half to see you, then they may not know you that well yet. Right. I don't know how long you've been doing this for, but he may not know you well enough to know that he wants to travel an hour and a half. What I would do if you're very early on, what I would do is say I'm going to continue to like I might if I really like this person and I feel like there's something here, then maybe I will go on a couple more dates with this person. But a couple of things I have to remember a couple of things with that. Firstly, so firstly, don't be the one going out of your way to see him all the time. Right. Because that just shows you're constantly putting in more effort than him. So at the very least meet halfway or you go once to him, he goes once to you. But what you can't do in the hopes of getting closer to him is keep going all the way to him, because all you're doing is setting up a situation where you're the one investing more than he's investing. So at the very least, you have to demand you meet halfway. Audrey, in the beginning of when we were dating in the very first like month of us dating, I remember I had she had been coming to my part of town that I was staying in like for a couple of times. And I remember one night saying, hey, do you want to come over to like this particular restaurant or bar or whatever and hang out? And she was like, no, you have to come to me this time. Here's my here's my like here's a place that's close to where I live. You have to come and meet me there. It's your turn. She was very bold about that. Like there was in her mind, it was like I've been coming to meet you is your turn. So we have to have that kind of strength, especially when we like someone, because when we like someone is the time that we are most likely to give up our standards. Isn't that true? When we like someone, that's the time we're most likely to have no boundaries. I always say that the moment you decide you like someone is the most dangerous moment in dating. So we have to be aware of that and say the time that I feel like giving up my boundaries is very much the time I have to that's the time I have to really be clear about them. And by the way, you don't have to having a boundary. I was having a great conversation with David Kessler, the expert, world leading expert on grief is a dear friend of mine. I was having a conversation with him yesterday and he said something very important. He said, a boundary is not how dare you keep inviting me over to your side of town. It's your turn to come and see me. It's not enforcing it in that aggressive way. That's like you thinking you need to like justify your boundary to somebody else. A boundary can be almost effortless, almost like almost silent. It can be, hey, why don't we meet over here? You know, I'm coming back from work tonight and it would help me this evening to come and meet me somewhere close to where I am. It's been really fun seeing your part of town. I want you to come see mine. A boundary can be like that. And if that person says, oh, I can't get all the way over there, then you say, okay, no worries. You know, maybe we can do something another night. It's not how dare you. I've come to see you three times and you haven't come to see me at all. It's not that. That's you, that a boundary is between you and you. And that was the thing that David was saying that really, really stuck with me is the boundary is between you and you. It's not between you and them. Does that make sense? And then if two nights later, that person says, I want to see you. You say, great. Why don't you come over to that bar I was telling you about? Why don't you come over to that restaurant I was telling you about? And we can see each other there. And if that person says, oh, that's too far for me. I'm just not sure. Then you say, okay, no worries. We'll see each other another time. That's a boundary. It's not, I, you know, I have to justify myself to you. A boundary is between you and you make sense. A lot of people is a lot of people think that a boundary is like, I have to justify myself to you. The example David gave yesterday that I thought was really a lovely, lovely example was he said, if someone calls you, if you say to someone, hey, I'm going to bed at 10 tonight, but if you call me before that, you know, I can help you, or it'd be great to speak to you. And then someone calls at 10, 15, a boundary isn't answering the phone at 10, 15 and going, I told you that I was going to be in bed by 10. Why are you calling me at 10, 15? That's not a boundary. That's a justification. That's an explanation. A boundary is when someone calls you at 10, 15, you don't pick up. That's a boundary. So when he said that, I thought, oh my God, that's brilliant. That's a really great demonstration of what a boundary is. A boundary is between us and us. A lot of us, we get exhausted having boundaries because we spend all our time explaining our boundaries to someone else instead of just having a boundary. Having a boundary doesn't require any calories. Having a boundary is effortless. Explaining and justifying your boundaries all the time, that's tiring. And that's where a lot of people get tripped up. So I would say, Erin, if you want to keep seeing this person, set up some boundaries for how much effort they have to put in and don't keep seeing them if those boundaries are violated. And if you find that getting to know this person more and spending more time with them, it doesn't move the dial for their consistency and they keep explaining to you that it's too far, it's too far, then I would say to them, that's totally okay. If it's too far for you, I feel like it's not a big deal. The idea that we're an hour and a half drive from each other, do I wish that you were five minutes down the street? Of course, but I don't feel like it's a big deal that you're an hour and a half away. But if that's a big deal to you and because it's a big deal to you, it's not allowing you to kind of show up consistently, then I'm going to invest my time elsewhere because I want to invest time in people that show up consistently in my life. That's it. That's another boundary. Okay. Can everyone see, sometimes when I'm doing stuff like this, I literally realize, God, this is stuff that can mean the difference between having a great relationship and being messed around for months or years. This could be the difference between finding peace in our love life and constantly being in chaos and turmoil. And I know that I've benefited so much from having the right people along the way in my life to help steer me in the right direction when before that I was going left all the time. And I hope that you feel that. I hope that when we spend time together or when you spend time reading this book, I hope that you feel like, oh my God, this is saving me years of heartbreak. This is saving me years of making decisions that lead me to more pain. A lot of people, when they come across my work, one of the most common comments I get is, I wish that I had discovered this 10 years ago. I wish that I had discovered this 20 years ago. I wish I'd read this book at 21. But what I always say to people is if you're 60 and you're reading it now, then you're getting it now. You could be alive another 40 years for all you know. That's a long time. That's a long time. And if you started dating someone next year and you ended up with that person, if you had another 30 years with that person, that's a long relationship. So stop telling yourself that it's all over or that you wish you'd learn this stuff sooner. There's still so much time on the clock. You're getting it now. You've got your life to play for still. So you've got to make the most of it. And this is all about us being together, is about you making the most of your precious, precious life. And that this next year is really important for that. And if you want to design your next year with me, then come spend tomorrow with me. And we're going to spend three hours on your life together. Maria Losoto says, I love that Drew Barrymore endorsed your book. Love her. Yeah, she's amazing. She is amazing. I loved doing her show last week. Again, who here is coming tomorrow? Raise your hand. If you're going to join me live tomorrow, let me know. If you're just arriving now, I want to let you know, if you've got a copy of the book, you are entitled to come to tomorrow's event. There's no charge. It's just a thank you from me to everyone who supported me. I'm going to spend three hours with you as my treat to help you in your love life and your confidence this year. If you've got the book in audio book, ebook, or the physical copy, it doesn't matter what territory you got it anywhere in the world. You bought it, any Amazon, any bookstore, you are entitled to come to this event. Absolutely free on me. And you can register at lovelifebook.com. The event is happening at 10 AM East LA time, 10 AM Pacific time. It's happening at 1 PM Eastern time. And I think it's, I think it might be five GMT. I think it's six in the UK. I think it's so, I think, I think it's happening at 5 PM in the, on GMT and six UK time. I might be wrong. 6 PM UK Vieira. Okay. You'll find all the details on the page at lovelifebook.com. Oh, okay. So it's happening at six UK time, seven in Germany and Europe. All right. Very good. Should we do another question? By the way, guys, who here hasn't got a copy of this? I'm only saying this today because you can buy this book whenever you want. But the reason to buy it today is because you'll get to come to the event tomorrow and the event tomorrow is only happening once. So if you are, Ellie Lopez says, I can't wait for the session tomorrow. I can't wait to see you Ellie. If you haven't got the book yet and you're on Instagram or Facebook, literally just comment the word love life as one word, love life. And I will send you a link to get a copy of my new book, how to raise your standards, find your person and live happily no matter what. And that getting a copy of that book, as long as you register it at lovelifebook.com, you can come to the event tomorrow. Mobina says, can't buy it in my country. Maybe there's an ebook version you can buy from a US Amazon or something like that. All right. Jan Jellis says, already got the book. Well, you're going to be able to come to the event tomorrow. Claudia, I see you typing love life. Joe Mac Bat seven, just make sure you comment as one word. Alberti, I'll send you a copy of the link. I'll send you the link now for the book. For all of you commenting, thank you. And for anyone who's on TikTok and YouTube, you can go to lovelifebook.com and you can also just purchase it right there. Lovelifebook.com. You can both purchase the book there and register your purchase for the event tomorrow, which is a celebration of everything that's happened. Incredible. All right. Let's do another question, Jeremy. Oh, and by the way, show up live tomorrow, because if you show up live, you get extra entries into the giveaway that I'm doing tomorrow. Everyone who gets a copy of the book and registers at lovelifebook.com, you will, you're entitled to a giveaway, be part of a giveaway where I'm giving away tickets to my live retreat this year, signed books, love life sweatshirts, a one-on-one with me, some really cool stuff. We're going to have a whole bunch of winners. And if you show up live tomorrow, you get extra entries. So you're more likely to win if you're there live tomorrow. You might even end up on the beach with me and my team for six days in Florida from the 9th to the 15th this year. We are doing our retreat. We only do it once a year now, and you could win a free ticket to the retreat, which is huge. All right. Gemma, yes, it is available on Audible. By the way, guys, for those of you that don't know, the book is on Audible and I narrated the whole thing. So I went to a studio for five days and narrated the entire book myself. So if you want to go and watch, or if you want to go and listen to Love Life instead of read it, the Audible version is and it counts. It counts for tomorrow. So you can get the Audible book, the audio version, and you can listen to me and you'll still get a ticket tomorrow. So just make sure your Audible purchase, once you've got it, you register using your receipt number at lovelifebook.com. But the audio does count. And again, many of you keep saying, Jeremy, I've never grown out of these Harry Potter references. They've never stopped. I thought there was a time when I would, I thought I would get to like 28 and people would stop making Harry Potter references. I'm now 36 and I still get them. Am I the same age? Funny, because when I was at school and Harry Potter was coming out, I always remember, I always felt like they were kids, but maybe it's just because they recorded them when, you know, three years before that. And then they came out, but I probably, how old is Daniel Radcliffe? Anyone know? Are we the same person? And I don't realize it. Did I star in Harry Potter? It's possible. He's 34. He's two years younger than me. So, so maybe I should be flattered. Oh, they're saying I'm young. Well, anyway, if you want to hear, if you want to hear a book about love, raising your standards, finding your person and living happily, no matter what, read as if you are in Hogwarts, then get a copy of Love Life on Audible and you can cozy up in your bed and listen to things that will change your life. But sort of just imagine you're in the halls of Hogwarts and the Harry Potter of love. It'd be like a sleep story at Hogwarts that also helps you find love. All right. That's niche. All right. Let's see. Joel, Jolie888 says the book is so good. Thank you so much. Guys, what was your favorite chapter? I didn't, I don't know if I saw any comments about that. What's your favorite chapter? I'd love to know. Which chapter did you enjoy the most? Charlotte, if your receipt is on Apple, email our team support at MatthewHussey.com and we'll let you know what to do with that. If for any reason you can't find a receipt number, you might have a confirmation number in your email, but if for any reason you can't find that, go to just email support at MatthewHussey.com. Do that today and my team will get back to you with a link to the event so that you can get on the event. Okay. Amazing. So Justine says attention is not intention is my favorite. That's cool. That's really interesting. Chapter 12. Is chapter 12 how to leave when you can't seem to leave? I want to say it is. Let's see. Chapter 12. I think it's how to leave when you can't seem to leave. It is. Chapter 12, how to leave when you can't seem to leave. Someone says chapter nine never satisfied. That's one of my favorite chapters. That's one of my favorite chapters as well. Asagul M13 says finished the book today. Absolutely loved it. It was like reading a book about my life. What chapter was your favorite chapter Asagul? Tell me. I'd love to know. Melly151 says the chapter on self-love. So for anyone wondering that's chapter 15, core confidence. Chapter nine, Milika says so never satisfied. Chapter seven is my favorite. Have hard conversations says Yangelis. Interesting. That's really cool. What else? I'm loving this. I've never, I've not been able to ask people. Kitten underscore me says my favorite chapter is red flags. That's chapter six. I really like the fact that people have different favorite chapters. Chapter six, red flags. I love that. I didn't expect people necessarily to have, I felt like there would be a lot in common about people's favorite chapters and it's actually really fun to hear that people have different ones. What else? Caitlin, mine was the one about empathy becoming your enemy, but not sure what chapter number that fell under. I will tell you right now that is chapter 12, how to leave when you can't seem to leave. Carla says mine will be chapter 16. Happy enough. I Carla, you are a person after my own heart because I think chapter 16 is might be my favorite chapter in the whole book. And it's the final chapter in the whole book. So I get, I feel that divine healing says was what was 14 because I think I liked that one. 14 is surviving a breakup. So chapter 14, surviving a breakup. Really cool. All right. So I am going to, Oh, I have to go. I'm due on a webinar in seven minutes. But everyone, this doesn't have to be the last time we see each other this week. I'm doing a three hour live event tomorrow. And it is completely complimentary for anyone who has supported me or supports us today by getting a copy of the book, help yourself, uh, by grabbing a copy and by being able to come to the live event tomorrow, because every single person who supports us by getting either the physical book or the audio book, if you want to listen to Daniel Radcliffe reading, uh, love life, uh, that's not, it's not really Daniel Radcliffe. It is me reading the book. If you want to hear my voice reading the book, then you can get it on audible.com or you can get the ebook version in across, you know, different platforms, Apple, uh, Amazon or different, but any format you get as long as you register your purchase at lovelifebook.com by using your receipt or confirmation number. If it's a physical receipt, cause you've got it at a bookstore or if it's a email receipt from Amazon or from somewhere like that, you can register the number at lovelifebook.com and we will email you a, a exclusive link to tomorrow's event, three hours working on your love life, your confidence, uh, the changes you want to make together. Um, which is going to be so cool. And if for any reason you can't find your, uh, receipt number or your confirmation number, just email support at Matthew hussey.com and my team will get you set up for tomorrow with the link. All you need to do is send them proof of purchase. Um, and if you haven't got it yet, go get it now. Cause this is the final day. This is it guys. Um, this is the last day. And then I'm going to stop talking about it because it will be over. This is only happening once. So I, this is a public service announcement to say, don't miss the big event. As long as you get the book, that's it. Uh, so a last time, if you're on Instagram or Facebook comment, the word love life as one word, and I will send you a link right now in your DMS to purchase the book. Um, you can also, if you're watching the recording of this comment, love life, and I'll send it to you, or you can even DM me the word love life. Um, and if you are on Tik TOK or YouTube, that won't work, but what you can do is, um, you can go to lovelifebook.com or wherever you get books, doesn't matter. You could go straight to Amazon or to your local bookstore. Just make sure once you've got the book, you go back to lovelifebook.com and register your purchase. Cause otherwise I won't know that you've got it. And I won't be able to send you the link. Um, as Pasha says, what event will be happening? The celebration event for my new book, love life, where I'm going to be spending three hours answering a question that is an ambitious one. What would I do with people? If I was trying to help them make it inevitable that they change their confidence over the next year and that they found the love that they were looking for. Um, so it's going to be fun. I'm looking forward to it. I'm going to go and work on the content today and make sure that I'm bringing you the best stuff I can tomorrow. If you've never been in an event with me, this is going to be a proper like three hour event together. And Audrey's going to be there and she'll be talking to you as well. And so will my brother, Steve, and it's going to be an amazing celebration of everything we've done together to get this book, to be an international bestseller guys. This is officially now the number three, uh, New York times bestseller. They're literally my publisher right now, Harper Collins. It Collins is printing a new print run of the book with New York times bestseller on the front because we just got the news. And, um, it's also a Sunday times bestseller in the UK us USA today bestseller. So it's now an international bestseller, which is really, really, really cool. And I want to thank all of you because you did that with me. Couldn't have done it on my own. I needed your help. And you guys supported me so much. And I know so many of you have followed me for months or years, and you've been helped by the work that I do. And the way that you showed up for me, uh, has touched me deeply. And it's been, it's been one of the most rewarding things of my life that all these years of work, everyone showed up in droves to get a copy of this book. It's been so rewarding. And tomorrow I get to say thank you in this event. And I get to say thank you in the best way I know how, which is by helping you. So I can't wait to see you all tomorrow, guys. Uh, remember to register your purchase of the book at lovelifebook.com. So I can send you the link. And if you're having any trouble at all, email, uh, support at Matthew hussy.com and Yangelis. Thank you for getting a physical copy and the book on audible. I really appreciate it. And I know you've got some specific bonuses for getting it physically like the heartbreak series and the love myths movie. So I hope you're enjoying those too. Um, I'll see you all tomorrow, guys. This is going to be fun. Find your person, the live event three hours tomorrow. I will see you then sending you all so much love. I can't wait to be with you all tomorrow. It's going to be such beautiful energy and we'll turn it into a stunning weekend together. Okay. Anastasia, thank you for that kind comment. Um, thank you for everyone showing up live with me each day this week. And I can't wait to thank you tomorrow. So I'll see you later. Have an amazing Friday. Everyone is Friday. It's Friday. Let's have a good day. I'll see you later.